Chapter 17
D ana strode down the lane leading to Alfie’s house with purpose and intention, the rage seeping through every step. It never helped that she had to park her car up the top and walk down – such an inconvenience. Despite the fact his flat (or apartment , as she preferred to call it) was worth a lot of money, it was purely because it was in this tiny hellhole that other people seemed to go mad for it. All she saw was an apartment that was far too small, only on one level and far too overlooked; it was the goldfish bowl of the village.
Still, that wasn’t why she had returned early that week. She hadn’t wanted to leave – work was prosperous, and she was making so many connections – some professional, but some personal too. She’d enjoyed sharing pictures of her events on Instagram, garnering plenty of likes and comments. None, however, from Alfie.
And last night, she’d clearly learned why he had been too busy to comment. For she had received an Instagram message in the early hours of yesterday morning with a photo attached of that weird London-deserter, Millie-something, leaving his apartment early in the morning. It had come from someone who worked in the village shop who Dana had barely spoken to – she could only assume they were trying to stir up trouble. Her blood boiled at the notion of someone pitying her, especially when it was over this Millie. Very plain, she had seemed, and clearly not a clue in the world about who she was or where she was going. Leaving London for the back end of Cornwall? What was this woman’s story? Not to mention the way she had showed her up in the pub on Halloween. She was still fuming about that and Alfie’s pathetic non-reaction to it.
The light had faded by now and she passed a familiar looking door on her right…the light was on up in the bedroom. Of course, this was Millie’s door! She remembered it faintly from several weeks ago now when she had been with Alfie. Without thinking, she changed course and stormed over to it, fist raised ready to batter the door down but at the last second, thought better of it. She hadn’t time to waste on her and she wanted to hear it from Alfie first, if he really had decided to have some sordid affair with this woman. She just couldn’t fathom how he’d possibly choose her over herself?!
Instead, she sashayed down the lane towards Alfie’s house, deciding to plough her intense fury into his door instead. BANG BANG BANG. Screw the doorbell, Dana thought. Knocking had much more effect. Hastily, she fluffed her hair and then perfected her scowl. He needed to know just how angry she really was about this. Slowly, the door opened, and Amy appeared. What was this? Another woman!
“Oh, hey Dana,” she said in a monotone voice. “What’s up?” Rage seeped through her veins.
“Where is he?” was all she could reply.
“ He? If you mean Alfie, he’s up here with us. We’re all watching a film.” Dana huffed and moved Amy aside - she didn’t have time for this. She clattered up the narrow steps which lead to his apartment and upon entering the living room was met with the sight of a whole group of people sprawled out on various parts of the sofa and laying on the floor, cushions scattered everywhere and numerous empty bottles of wine on the table. She recognised them all from the pub, Alfie’s group of friends. She had never felt an urge to get to know them all. They were clearly tight-knit and very different to her.
As soon as he saw her, Alfie’s relaxed expression immediately turned to one of confusion.
“Dana? I thought you weren’t back for another three days?” he asked, sitting up.
“Hmm, I thought the same until I was sent a picture of that London woman coming out of this apartment early in the morning?!” All the groups’ heads collectively turned to face Alfie, some eyes wide in shock, the foreheads of others wrinkled with confusion. Alfie’s mouth dropped open as the cogs began to turn and he realised what must have happened.
“Dana, let me explain…” he began but before he could move even a metre off the sofa, she had picked up a full glass of white wine and launched it straight into his face. He blinked in shock (and because his eyes were stinging from the acidity) and could blearily see Dana storm out, shoving the wine glass into Amy’s hands, who was standing open mouthed at the door to the living room.
“What. The. Actual. F…” Amy began to stutter. The rest of the group just looked at him in dismay and silence hung in the air, before Evan picked up a half full glass of white wine and launched it at Alfie’s middle before mockingly saying “you bastard. You mean you cheated on us with Millie and you didn’t tell us?!” After a moment of tension, all the friends, minus Alfie, burst out laughing. It was obvious she had somehow learned about Millie staying and come back in a rage. He couldn’t blame her, in fairness, and it was clear she felt really betrayed. The rest of the gang had all known about Millie’s dramatic lifesaving feat, yet he’d resisted telling them she’d slept in his bed, because he knew even if he’d explained he hadn’t been actually in it with her, too many questions would still be asked, and he didn’t want anything getting back to Dana. A niggling voice in the back of his head told him there was a reason he didn’t want it getting back to her. Because as innocent as he wanted to make it out to be, it hadn’t felt all that innocent in reality…Yikes. He felt an urge to explain to Dana because, as overdramatic as she could be, he understood her anger this time.
Hurriedly scrambling off the sofa and past Amy, who was still stood chuckling at the door with the others, he raced down the stairway and out onto the square. It was early evening, and a few people milled about but he didn’t let that stop him calling out Dana’s name, at the sight of her rapidly moving further up the hill. She turned to face him and he ran over to her.
“Hear me out Dana, I promise it’s not what you think,” Alfie spluttered out. But it could be, one day, his head taunted him. She glared at him, hurt flickering over her face. Arms folded, she retorted:
“Why should I give you the chance to explain yourself?” He paused for breath a moment before replying.
“Because you’ve obviously heard something and taken it the wrong way. Yes, Millie stayed the night here,” she exhaled sharply and moved to walk away but he gently grabbed her arm, “BUT…it wasn’t like that. I didn’t even sleep in the bed with her.” But you wanted to , the voice in his head teased and he blinked firmly, trying to shake it away. “Please come back to mine and I’ll explain?” Her features softened, which wasn’t a usual sight, and reluctantly she agreed. They walked more calmly now back to his, where he led her into his bedroom (shutting out the others) and explained the whole tale – well, the whole tale except for the fact that he’d asked Millie to come over that night. He left that bit out – that might have been harder to explain. Even though it was just a friendly meet up to discuss some art, nothing more…
He didn’t even need his irritating head voice to remind him that wasn’t necessarily true.
* * *
Once they’d had a conversation and she had softened, they’d shared several kisses, except Alfie found his mind wandering towards Millie, which increased his guilt. As much as Dana wasn’t always the friendliest of girls, she didn’t deserve to feel betrayed which was why he had made such an effort to talk things through with her. He still knew he needed to authoritatively end it with her – here she was here in front of him, why couldn’t he just do it? But the guilt of his partial lie crept in, and he couldn’t face it. He would do it. He had to. Just not tonight.
* * *
“I promise you, this isn’t what it looks like,” Sam blurted, although his hand pulling the covers up over himself and the woman next to him seemed to suggest otherwise, Millie thought.
“What is it then Sam? Care to explain? NOW?!” she screamed furiously. She couldn’t bring herself to get any closer to the bed – her bed. She locked eyes with the woman who immediately looked away and remained still under the sheets. She was called Amelia, and she lived next door. She trained in the gym all day and taught fitness classes at night.
“It’s…we…she…” he began, and Millie couldn’t listen to his pathetic spluttering any longer. She picked up the closest thing within reach – a trainer – and lobbed it straight at him. She’d turned before she could see where it landed but the “ow!” from him suggested to her it had succeeded.
Hot tears sprung in her eyes as she flustered back through the flat and out the front door, the heat from the bright, summer’s day smacking her in the face. She felt in a dream, like what she’d just seen hadn’t really happened. She’d seen this situation play out many times in films, in the books she had read but never had she envisioned it would be her. There had been no indications that he was having an affair, if that’s what it even was? Sure, they had problems, and they had never been the same since the news she had received about her inability to have children. He’d tried to be understanding, yet every so often she couldn’t help feeling the frustration pouring out of him. The feeling that he was still waiting for something to happen even though they knew it never could, as though she would just magically “mend” herself. Because that was how she felt; broken. She was damaged goods and whilst she understood his disappointment, the fact the bottom had literally fallen out of her life meant she just couldn’t feel sad for him. If she was completely honest with herself, she’d always had an inkling he might do something like this. Because for her, it was her fate and there was no way she could get away from it. But he could. He didn’t have to live with it for the rest of his life. He had a choice and he had clearly chosen, even if subconsciously.
She reached the park a mere few minutes away from the flat, filled with happy families, loved up couples and throngs of friends, hanging out with BBQs and drinks as though her world hadn’t literally just shattered. It took all her energy to collapse onto a bench, pull out her phone and call the only person she now trusted in this world. It took only two rings.
“Sup Mils,” the answer came but all Millie could do was sob hysterically down the phone. She managed to stutter out where she was and within ten minutes Jenny was there, holding her friend as she broke down in her arms.