Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucy
Sitting in the chair next to Ren’s hospital bed, I hold his hand, rubbing little circles on the top of it with my thumb.
He’s woken up once after surgery, and from what the nurse said when I first came in this morning, he had a rough night, so they had to give him a bigger dose of pain meds which is why he hasn’t woken up again.
Nash said he flew back a few feet and hit his head on the ground, knocking him out.
I didn’t catch everything the doctor told us about Ren’s surgery when Cole and I first arrived here after Nash’s call.
My mind was trying to keep sane while I felt like my universe was crashing.
This is all my fault.
I rub my eyes and head with my free hand.
My head is spinning from the events of yesterday, making my mind and body tired.
I haven’t slept for more than a couple hours, and the guys have basically threatened to force-feed me to get something in my stomach, but the guilt is eating me from the inside out.
Cole, Nash, and Lawson have been arguing for the last twenty minutes.
I have no idea about what, but I need them to stop.
“Can you guys just stop already?” I raise my voice above theirs so they can hear me.
I can feel annoyance flow through my body as they all turn to look at me.
“You’ve been arguing on and off since we got here yesterday.
It’s not helping. Ren needs his sleep so he can get better.
Arguing is going to wake him up. Arguing will not help us find out who is doing this!
” My eyes fill with angry tears as the guys look between each other and the floor.
“Sorry, Lucy. Call me if you need anything.” Lawson nods his head, and I return the gesture before he leaves the room, Cole following him out.
“Hey, Darlin’.” Nash walks over to me and crouches down beside me. I ignore his movements and keep my focus on Ren, even as he places his hand on my thigh. He lets out a breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We shouldn’t be arguing. We’re just trying to figure out what’s happening.”
I can feel my body heat as I try to remain calm at Nash’s words. Thankfully, Dr. Rose walks in and saves me from exploding. Nash stands as she strides to the spot across from me.
“Dr. Rose, how are things looking?” I ask hopefully.
“Ms. Winslow.” Her gentle eyes meet mine for a moment before looking down to her tablet.
“Surgery went well last night. He was very lucky that his femoral artery was spared. The surgeon is optimistic there was no nerve damage done, but we won’t know for certain until he heals more.
He’ll need to stay off his leg for a bit.
Also, his concussion was severe, which makes sense according to how far he flew backwards.
He’s going to need time. He won’t be able to simply walk away as if nothing happened.
Once he is awake and alert, we can go from there. ”
“I’m awake.” Ren’s voice sounds scratchy and dry as I look at him with wide eyes. He squeezes my hand and nods towards his water cup. I quickly grab it and put the straw in his mouth for him. He drinks for a few moments before I put the cup down, my eyes never leaving his. Ren smiles up at me.
“Hey, Love.” His dimples don’t appear, and that causes my vision to blur from tears.
“Hi, Ren.” I run my fingers through his hair gently.
“Mr. Hawthorn. Good to see you awake.” Dr. Rose clicks on her tablet before asking him, “How are you feeling?”
Ren lets out a steady breath. “Tired. My leg hurts.”
“Mmm. That’s expected. You were lucky with your injury, Mr. Hawthorn. Little to the left and you probably wouldn’t be here,” Dr. Rose says as she looks him up and down.
A pang of jealousy flows through my body and I clear my throat.
She glances at me before going back to her tablet. “I am going to lower your pain med dosage back down. You’ll be here for the next few days, so I’ll check on you later this afternoon.”
I watch as Dr. Rose leaves the room and then bring my attention back to Ren. His tan skin looks pale compared to the dark circles under his eyes. There are scrapes and bruises covering what I can see of his arms. I tear up again as I squeeze his hand.
“I’m so sorry, Ren.” The words are a whisper that cracks while I speak. “I never wanted you to get hurt. I never meant for you to.”
“Hey, it’s alright.” Ren lifts my chin with our hands so our eyes meet. “This wasn’t your fault, Love.”
“But it was. It’s my fault you got hurt.” The tears stream down my face like a waterfall as a sob wracks my body. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I can’t lose you like this, Ren. I can’t lose any of you like this.”
The thought hits me like a freight train. I know what I need to do, and I need to do it now to keep them safe. Standing from the chair, I give Ren’s hand one last squeeze before whispering another sorry and heading for the door.
“I need some air. I’ll be back in a little bit,” is all I say before pushing the door open.
“Lucy, wait!” I hear Ren yell, but the click of the door to his room sounds before he finishes his short sentence. I cover my mouth to stifle the cry that wants to escape then start moving down the hall, my vision hazy, so I don’t see Cole before I bump into him.
“What’s wrong, Lucy?” His voice is full of concern, and the grip he has on my arms is caring but cautious.
I wipe my eyes and give him a sad smile. “I just need some fresh air. Ren is awake, though. I’m sure he wants to see you.”
“Okay.” His hands drop from my arms. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I will be.” I take a step to the side and walk around him and out the front doors of the hospital, almost jogging to my car.
Thankfully, I drove myself so Cole and Nash have a way back to their house when they are ready to leave.
Hopefully, they will believe what I said about needing to breathe and not follow me.
Starting my car, I reverse quickly and leave the parking lot.
I want to be gone before they make it home. I need to be gone.
It’s the only way to keep them safe.
Ren
Everything hurts. My head, my ribs, my fucking thigh. My eyes open to see Cole and Nash arguing quietly in the corner of my room. I strain to hear what they are saying while I finish waking up.
“This is going to devastate him, Cole.” Nash’s voice is full of fury as he glares at Cole.
Cole rubs the back of his neck before scrubbing his face with his palms. “You don’t think I know that, Nash?”
“Then do something about it,” Nash hisses.
“What the fuck do you want me to do? Drag her back kicking and screaming? I can’t do that. I won’t. She left, Nash. Took all of her stuff and left.”
“Who left?” I speak up, wanting to know who they are talking about.
My body heats as I look around the room, not finding Lucy anywhere. I can feel my pulse throughout my body, and my heart rate goes up at the same rate, panic rushing through me. Nash and Cole both look towards me with surprise that quickly morphs into sadness.
“Who left?” I ask again more firmly.
Nash glares at Cole again before Cole lets out a sigh. “It’s Lucy. She’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone? She said she’d be right back. Where is she?” Panic fills my voice as the heart rate monitor beeps faster.
“Ren, I need you to calm down,” Nash says, coming over to my bed, resting his hand on my arm.
“Where is she?” I ask again louder, yanking my arm from Nash’s touch.
“Best scenario? Back at her Nana’s house. Worst? On a plane to Ember’s house.” Nash’s voice is resigned.
“No. She said she needed some air. She didn’t say she was leaving—” I start but Nash interrupts me.
“We saw her on the cameras. She packed her things from the house and left quickly.”
“When?” I ask, my voice just above a whisper.
“About an hour ago,” Cole answers. I can see the hurt and anger in his eyes from my bed.
“Why don’t you go get her? Can’t you check the cameras we installed at her house? Where is she?” The questions come out of my mouth in rapid succession.
“She left, Ren. What are we supposed to do?” Cole shifts from one foot to his other.
“I thought she was going to stay. She said—” My voice cracks and I can’t continue talking.
“She thinks it’s her fault. She thinks whoever has been sending her those texts did this because of her,” Nash’s voice is soft as he tries touching my arm again.
This time, I don’t pull away. Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.
I look away from both of them and see the sun setting out of the window.
“I’m tired. I need to get some rest.” I don’t look at them as they mumble their goodbyes and promises of coming back tomorrow.
Once the door clicks shut, I let out an unsteady breath as the tears start falling down my face. I don’t wipe them away as I move to lay on my side and let the sadness overtake me until my eyes get heavy and I fall into a dreamless sleep.