14. Elliot
ELLIOT
E lliot was enjoying himself more than he’d expected to, and it wasn’t just the vineyard tour, though that was both fun and enlightening.
It was Lucy. For the first time since they’d seen each other in the meeting with Borderless’s lawyers and board, he saw her not as a creative designer or a woman who had broken his heart, but as the smart, silly, happy girl he’d known in college.
He missed that girl. Now, he wondered if she wasn’t gone after all.
Over dinner, Elliot and Lucy didn’t get a chance to talk much.
They were seated at a table with a family — parents and two adult children with their partners — who’d come up from San Francisco for the weekend.
Elliot and Lucy spent the meal asking the family about their experiences at the vineyard, which was very enlightening.
The food was delicious, too. It was all locally grown specialties, including fresh-caught fish from just off the coast and a wine made at the vineyard.
After dinner, Monica escorted them up to a balcony at the top of the hotel. From here, they could see the darkened vineyards and groups of guests below, talking, eating, or participating in wine tasting.
“Usually, we hold wine tasting down in the cave,” Monica explained as she showed them to their small table. “But this is more private, and the view can’t be beat. Plus, it’s warmer up here than in the caves, which is nice at night.”
“It is a lovely view,” Lucy agreed.
“As you might know, our server will bring a variety of wines, as well as some breads and cheeses,” Monica explained.
“You should already be full from dinner, which will help. Make sure to drink plenty of water, take notes if you’d like, and ask questions if you have any.
” She briefly explained how to smell and taste the wine and what to look for.
“That’s it. Enjoy your evening, and I’ll see you tomorrow. ”
The server stopped by and introduced herself, then poured the first glass of wine. “I’ll run downstairs and bring your next glass in a few minutes,” she explained.
Once she was gone, Elliot turned to Lucy and raised his glass. “Shall we?”
“All right.” Lucy took a sip and Elliot followed suit, filling his mouth halfway as Monica had suggested.
“What do you think?” Elliot asked.
“Definitely some floral notes,” Lucy said. “And a woody aftertaste.”
“I taste some tannins,” Elliot said. “Or maybe I don’t. I can’t remember which one is better.”
Their eyes met, and they both burst into laughter.
“Okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about wine,” Lucy said, giggling.
“I tried to remember as much as I could about what Monica said, and I do enjoy a glass of wine now and then with dinner, but I can’t identify anything about wine beyond the color and how sweet it is. ”
“I’m in the same boat,” Elliot agreed. “I can tell if I like something, but not much more than that. And honestly, I don’t love this one.
It’s, maybe, a four.” Elliot wondered if Lucy would notice his reference to the rating game they’d played in college, and he saw a flicker of a smile lift the corners of her lips that signaled that she did.
“Me neither. It tastes bitter or something. I agree — four.”
“I think that’s because of the tannins.” Elliot grinned. “I remember that Monica said those make the wine bitter.”
“Look at you, what an expert.”
“I am.”
Their eyes met, and they smiled at each other. The atmosphere between them had eased since the fun of the grape stomping, enough so that they could talk without snapping at each other.
“Are you starting to enjoy our trip?” Lucy asked, sipping some water.
“I am.” Just then, their server arrived with another wine. This one, Lucy and Elliot agreed, was sweeter and generally tastier, probably an eight or a nine, even. They drank a little more of it.
“I have to ask,” Lucy said, grinning a little. Elliot wondered if she was feeling tipsy. “Why did you name your company Keype Data Security?”
“Because it has ‘key’ in it,” Elliot explained. “And it’s pronounced like ‘keep.’ For a cybersecurity organization, it’s perfect. It sounds safe and secure.”
The next wine, a dry white from a different vineyard, arrived. They agreed that this one was acceptable but not exactly delicious. It was a five, no more, and no less.
“I have a question, too,” Elliot said. “Do you still swim? I remember that you loved swimming in college.”
“I did, and I still do,” Lucy confirmed.
“I get to the pool a few times a week, mostly, unless I’m too busy with work or travel or something.
” She sipped her wine, as did Elliot. This latest one was a white that they both described as “crisp,” though neither was sure if that was the correct description.
They did agree, though, that it was a six. “Do you still play basketball?”
“Not anymore. There are some adult recreational teams, but I’m not as drawn to it as I used to be. I hit the gym when I can, and I run sometimes, but I don’t play much anymore. Although Dominic and I used to do pickup games when he came to visit me.”
Now that the walls were coming down around them, it was like all the details of the years they’d missed were flooding back.
Elliot found himself full of regret. Perhaps he and Lucy could have shared that time if he could have gotten past their heartache.
Surely, being friends was better than nothing.
Or maybe not. Looking at Lucy across the table as she talked about her life in New York, where she shared an apartment with two women even though she could have afforded her own, Elliot was reminded of the girl he’d known in college and how attracted he had been to her. How attracted he still was.
A few wines later, Elliot could feel himself getting tipsy.
He ate a little bread to try to counteract the feeling while telling himself firmly to enjoy this evening.
Even if he got a little tipsy, he shouldn’t bring up his past with Lucy.
That would ruin everything and probably make them fight again.
He would stick to light topics. He’d ask more about her hobbies, or share a lighthearted story about Elliot, or talk more about the wines.
He definitely wouldn’t bring up what had happened in college.
“I still think about what happened between us in college,” Elliot said. Immediately, he realized his mistake, but it was too late. The words were out.
Lucy bit her lip as her eyes skated away from Elliot’s. “I know. Me too.”
“I tried to pretend it was fine, but it hurt that you walked away without an explanation.”
“Really?” Lucy looked surprised. “You told me you would find another girl without any trouble at all.”
“Well, I didn’t.” Elliot sipped his wine. “There was never anyone else like you, Lucy. You broke my heart.”
He needed to stop himself, but he couldn’t. He felt even worse when he saw tears rising in Lucy’s clear blue eyes. She wiped her cheeks and nodded.
“You deserve an explanation.” Her voice was a little shaky.
“No, I shouldn’t have said anything?—”
“Just listen.” Lucy held up a hand. “I broke up with you because Dominic had just told me about his diagnosis.” Another tear rolled down her cheek.
“I knew he would be upset if we were together, and I couldn’t do that to him, not when he only had a few years to live.
And I couldn’t explain what was going on to you, not when Dominic had just told me he wanted to keep his diagnosis quiet.
” A second tear chased the first. “I’m sorry, Elliot. I broke my own heart, too.”
Elliot’s mouth fell open. His chest ached, just as it had when Lucy had first ended things with him.
In an instant, he realized the pain she’d gone through when she’d ended things.
No wonder she’d broken things off so suddenly.
No wonder she hadn’t told him why. She’d been young and trying to do the right thing. “Lucy…”
“If I’d thought our relationship was going anywhere, I would have done something different, but I knew I was just a fling to you. I couldn’t hurt Dominic over a fling, no matter how I felt.”
“But it wasn’t a fling.” Elliot set down his glass and leaned forward. “Not for me, anyway.”
“What?” Lucy’s eyes widened.
“Lucy.” Elliot shook his head. “Didn’t you know how much I cared about you?” Memories from their college days rushed back — his reputation as a playboy, his hesitation to tell Lucy how he felt, his retort that he could easily find someone else when she’d broken up with him.
“I had no idea,” Lucy said. She wiped her eyes again. “I just knew that you’d been with a lot of girls. I wasn’t special, and I tried to be okay with that.”
“But you were special.” Elliot shook his head again. “I loved you.” Suddenly, he realized that his tipsiness had caused him to say way too much. “Back then, I mean,” he added quickly. “Or, I thought I did.”
“Oh.” Lucy looked pale. “I… I didn’t know that.”
“I know you didn’t. Because I never had a chance to tell you.
” Elliot wanted to ask if it would really have changed things if he had told her.
Would she have tried to pursue a relationship with him, even though Dominic would have been upset?
Or would she still have put her brother first because Lucy would rather hurt herself than anyone else?
But Elliot didn’t ask. It was ancient history now, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, anyway.
They both looked at each other for a long moment.
Elliot could feel a mix of emotions swirling within him.
There was even a small part of him that wanted to throw caution to the wind and pull Lucy into his arms, but just because he’d finally gotten the explanation he needed didn’t mean that he should fall back into old patterns.
There was no way to know whether Lucy would even want that.
There was no way to know if it was even what Elliot wanted, or if he was just drawn to Lucy because she was his first love and because she looked so beautiful, sitting under the stars.
Instead, Elliot glanced at his watch. “Maybe we’d better get to bed. We have an early start tomorrow.”
Lucy’s face fell slightly, though perhaps it was just a trick of the light. She nodded. “That would be the responsible thing. And, as Monica said, we’d better drink plenty of water.”
“Definitely.”
They descended the outdoor stone steps from the balcony to the outside grounds. It was a gorgeous night, with the warm summer air wrapping around them like a blanket and hundreds of stars glittering above. Hundreds of stars… though only in part of the sky.
“Are those rain clouds?” Lucy asked.
As if on cue, the heavens opened, and water poured down on them. They were soaked in seconds, Lucy’s dress suddenly clinging to her curves and turning almost completely see-through.
“Let’s get inside!” Elliot called over the sound of the rain pelting the ground.
They hurried around the edge of the building and took shelter under an awning.
Elliot pulled Lucy out of the rain and felt the warmth of her skin through her soaking sleeve.
Lucy looked up at him, her eyes wide and bright in the darkness.
“This is really beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Really beautiful,” Elliot echoed, feeling his walls come down further. It would be so easy to lean forward and kiss her, just one more time…