15. Lucy
LUCY
L ucy’s head was spinning, partially from the wine but mostly from Elliot’s nearness.
The cool rain had been a wake-up call after the swirl of feelings that had stirred within her.
Elliot had loved her back in college. Or, at least, he’d thought he had.
Lucy couldn’t stop wondering if knowing that would have changed things, but she knew it would have.
If Elliot had really been serious about her, it would have been worth making a few waves.
Dominic would surely have come to understand eventually.
Right? Though it was hard to imagine that she’d ever have done something to hurt her brother when he was sick.
Lucy looked up at Elliot. His shirt was plastered to his skin, revealing the outline of muscles that must have been built during those gym sessions he mentioned. Part of Lucy wanted to rise onto her toes and kiss him, but she held back.
“Elliot,” she said softly.
“Yes?” He was looking at her with an expression she remembered from college, an expression that made old feelings stir within her.
“Did you mean what you said? About loving me in college?”
“Of course I did. I had a whole plan.” He brushed his hair back with one hand. “I wanted to tell you I loved you after the beach trip. Then I wanted to plan, together, how to tell Dominic.”
Lucy felt tears press against her eyes yet again. “I’m sorry. I just thought… well, with Dominic sick, I thought we should both spend as much time with him as we could. I messed up.”
“Clearly, I messed up, too,” Elliot replied, speaking a little louder over the sound of the drumming rain.
“I should have told you how I felt right away. I should have made sure you knew that I cared about you, that I loved you. And you know, I didn’t even hear that Dominic was sick until two years ago. ”
“I know.” Lucy shook her head. “I can’t imagine that he would be happy to know that we’d both made ourselves unhappy for him.”
“No. He wouldn’t have liked that.” Elliot smiled slightly.
“What about now?” Lucy asked. She seized hold of all her strength, all her courage, and looked up at Elliot.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… is it too late?” She bit her lip. “I made mistakes in college. Maybe you did, too. But honestly, I never stopped thinking about you.”
The moment stretched as Elliot looked down at her with those warm brown eyes.
Lucy began to wonder if she was alone in her feelings.
Perhaps Elliot’s affection had faded over the last ten years.
And she couldn’t blame him after how things had ended.
Lucy began to worry that she’d made a terrible mistake by bearing her heart like this.
Maybe she should have kept her relationship with Elliot professional — or as professional as any two people who’d once been in love could be.
Then Elliot leaned forward. Slowly, deliberately, he wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips to hers.
Sensation flooded Lucy, radiating from where his lips touched hers.
She’d kissed a few other men since ending things with Elliot, but none of those kisses had made her feel like this.
She wanted nothing more than to be closer to Elliot.
The brush of his stubble against her cheek and the feeling of his broad palms on her lower back made her shiver.
The shiver could have been from the rainwater soaking her clothes, too, but she didn’t think so.
Even if Elliot were kissing her in the middle of the Sahara, she would have shivered like this.
Because it was Elliot. Elliot. The first man she’d ever loved and the man she’d never been able to stop thinking about. How many nights had she lain awake, dreaming of a moment like this? She couldn’t count.
They’d kissed a hundred times before in college, on the quad, in the gazebo, and in their rooms, but this was more intense than ever before. It was as if all the emotions that had built up during their years of separation were spilling out now, wordlessly passing between them in sighs and caresses.
Perhaps that’s why, when Elliot pulled back and looked at her with those intense brown eyes, Lucy didn’t hesitate.
“Should we go to your room?” she asked, her voice soft.
By way of response, Elliot made a sound low in his throat, then scooped her into his arms. Lucy kissed him again, deeper this time. He kissed her back, and Lucy knew, beyond all the words they had and hadn’t said, that he’d missed her just as much as she’d missed him.
“Lucy,” Elliot said, her name an incantation on his lips. “You might need to stop kissing me.”
“Why?” Lucy asked, trailing her lips down the side of his firm jaw and across his neck. Elliot groaned again.
“Because I need to focus on not dropping you while I carry you upstairs.”
Lucy giggled and stopped her kisses. “All right.”
Elliot swept her inside the building. Lucy was thankful that the lobby was empty; she wouldn’t want to run into Monica right now.
She wouldn’t want to run into anyone. She only wanted to be alone with Elliot forever and ever.
She wanted to feel every inch of his skin on hers and kiss him until they were both breathless.
Elliot carried her up the stairs as easily as if she were made of feathers.
Desire and a sense of rightness flooded Lucy from her lips to the tips of her toes.
It was as if the last ten years had never happened, and they were young again, in college, with no worries beyond when they’d see each other again.
Elliot reached his room within a few strides and laid her down on the bed. Then he paused.
“What are you doing?” Lucy asked, reaching for him.
“I’m remembering this moment,” Elliot said. “You look so, so beautiful.” And then he was kissing her again, and all rational thought floated away for a very long time.