ELEVEN
PERFECT TIMING. NOT.
Oliver
I watched in horror as Noah fell backwards into the loch.
He was a strong swimmer, and I had taught him how to get himself out of trouble in open water, but this was something different.
This was freezing cold water in the middle of fucking winter.
Nothing could prepare an eight-year-old for cold water shock.
I sprinted along the pontoon. Alex was ahead of me. She paused just long enough to kick off her boots. Fuck. She wasn’t going to throw herself into that freezing water, was she?
‘No!’ I shouted. ‘Alex!’
She either didn’t hear me or ignored me, because the next thing she was doing was whipping off her jacket. I extended my stride, trying to get there in time. My heart thumped against my ribs as I watched her prepare to jump.
I grabbed the life ring at the start of the pontoon and then powered along the wooden planks. My feet slipped several times on the snow. It was too late to stop her. She was in. I heard her gasp with the shock of the cold water.
I almost ended up in the water too, as I skidded on some slushy snow, but within seconds, I was at the point where they had both disappeared. In the water’s darkness, I could see nothing. The wind was throwing up choppy waves. I pulled off my coat and shoes.
I was just about to jump in when suddenly Alex surfaced. She had Noah with her and launched him above the water.
‘Catch!’ I yelled as I threw the life ring in.
She got hold of it and pushed Noah onto it.
I could hear him crying. I had never been so pleased to hear him cry as I was right then. He was alive. He was conscious.
I pulled on the rope of the life ring and dragged it towards the pontoon. It was heavy from his dead weight and waterlogged clothing.
Suddenly, there was the sound of running feet on the pontoon.
Paddy came skidding to a halt next to me.
He grabbed hold of the rope, and together we hauled Noah right up to the pontoon.
We both dropped to our stomachs and, with a hand each under his armpits, we hauled him up onto the boards out of the water.
‘Thank fuck,’ I uttered to myself.
I allowed myself a second of relief that he was safe before I turned back to help Paddy pull Alex out of the water.
She was out in seconds, and we all took a moment to catch our breath.
‘You okay, Doc?’ asked Paddy.
Alex nodded. ‘I’ll live.’ She looked at Noah. ‘Get him inside. I’ll be fine.’
‘I’ll help the Doc in,’ said Paddy.
I didn’t argue. I pulled Noah’s sodden coat from him and wrapped him in my jacket, then I scooped him up in my arms and rushed back to the lodge.
As soon as we got there, I put the shower on and stood Noah under the hot stream of water.
‘It’s okay, Noah. Don’t cry. Everything is all right.’ Gradually, his tears subsided. I heard the door open. ‘Wait there.’
Paddy was helping Alex through the door. ‘You need to get these clothes off,’ he said.
‘The shower is nice and hot. I’ll get Noah out,’ I said.
Alex’s hands trembled with the cold as she tried to undo the buttons on her shirt. I was just about to offer to help her when Paddy stepped forward. ‘Here, I’ll do it,’ he said.
Now wasn’t the time to feel a spike of jealousy that Paddy was helping Alex undress, but it poked at me all the same.
I went back into the bathroom and helped Noah out of the shower, wrapping him in a warm towel and rubbing him vigorously to not only dry him but also get the blood circulating faster.
I carried him back into the living room and sat him down on the sofa next to the fire, before fetching him some dry clothes.
Alex passed me in the hallway, her wet clothes removed, she now had just Paddy’s coat around her.
‘Alex,’ I said. ‘Thank you for what you did back there.’ The words were wholly inadequate.
She nodded.
‘You need to get in the shower, Doc,’ said Paddy, as he came down the hallway with Alex’s wet clothes. ‘Can you manage?’
Again, I ignored the spike of jealousy that (a) she was wearing Paddy’s coat and (b) he was offering to help her. I had absolutely no right to that emotion, yet there it was.
‘I’ll be fine. Thanks.’ Alex shuffled off to the bathroom.
After getting Noah into his pyjamas, I went over and made hot drinks. Alex emerged from the shower and, after getting dressed in dry clothes, came back out and sat down in the chair beside the fire.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
‘You all right, Alex?’ I asked. She didn’t reply. ‘Alex? Don’t go to sleep. Open your eyes.’ I went over to her and gently shook her shoulder. ‘Wake up, Alex.’
She opened her eyes. ‘Is Noah all right?’
‘He’s okay. You got him out of there quickly. I don’t know how to thank you.’
‘Don’t,’ she said. ‘No need to.’ Her eyes slid shut again.
‘Alex. Stay awake,’ I commanded. I needed to be certain she wasn’t slipping unconscious from hypothermia. ‘I need you to keep your eyes open.’
Sluggishly, she opened her eyes again. ‘I’m okay,’ she said, sounding a bit more convincing the second time.
At least her words were clear. Slurring was a sign of hypothermia. She may not have been in the water for very long, but it was long enough to do some harm, given the conditions outside.
I looked over at Paddy. ‘Keep her talking.’
Paddy pulled up a footstool as I moved out of the way, and he started asking her questions about her job as a medic.
I listened with half an ear as I sat down next to Noah.
Thank God, he was okay. Ironically, it was probably his heavy clothing that stopped the water from getting to his skin so quick.
That and Alex jumping straight in after him.
Noah had barely been in the water. I put my arm around him and pulled him into me.
The enormity of the situation hit me. The tide of fear that I had put a lid on while in the middle of a crisis was now ebbing its way towards me.
I could so easily have lost him. If Alex hadn’t seen him go in.
If she’d gone the same way as me to look for him…
I couldn’t bring myself to think about it.
My breath hitched, and I felt an unfamiliar sting of tears in my eyes.
‘Are you crying?’ asked Noah, sounding concerned.
I ran my forefinger and thumb across my eyes. ‘Just glad you’re okay.’
‘Alex saved me,’ he said.
‘She certainly did.’ I looked across the room at her, and she met my gaze. ‘Thank you,’ I said.
She gave a small smile. ‘You don’t have to keep thanking me.’
Every fibre of my being wanted to keep thanking her, but I swallowed the words and simply nodded.
‘How are you feeling?’ I asked after a moment.
‘I think Paddy can quit with the cross-examination now.’ She rested her head back. ‘I haven’t got hypothermia or anything like that. My pulse is strong and my heart rate steady.’
Paddy moved into the other chair.
Alex lifted her head and looked at him. ‘Why are you called Paddy? You don’t have an Irish accent.’
‘I’ve not got an Irish bone in my body. My name’s Patrick. Paddy just stuck when I joined up. Being anything but Irish, the lads thought it was a good name. Some kind of undefined humour.’
‘Ah, that explains it.’
My pal from military days had obviously warmed to her, and there was that hot flare in my chest again.
‘Who shortened your name to Alex?’ asked Paddy.
‘When I joined up, people just started shortening it. Let’s be honest, Alexiandra, some weird combination of names my mum thought up is a bit convoluted.’
‘Yeah. I’d go along with that.’
I got to my feet, wanting to interrupt the conversation, which also made me feel like a prick, but I did it.
‘Let’s get these clothes wrung out and see if we can dry them in front of the log burner.’
I picked up Alex’s clothes from the floor where Paddy had put them.
‘Sure, Boss.’
‘I can do that,’ said Alex.
‘You stay there,’ I replied, sharper than I meant.
I needed to do something other than sit there.
It was never something I’d done after an operation when I was in the military.
I always headed straight to the gym to help me mentally process the high-risk situation I’d been in.
I felt like I needed to do that after the shock of Noah going into the water.
The gym in the wellness suite on the other side of the lake was all kitted out and ready for use, but I couldn’t leave Noah here and trek over there at this time of night.
Paddy pulled on his jacket. ‘Be back soon,’ he said. I gave him a chin lift in acknowledgement, before he headed out of the lodge.
‘Is he all right?’ asked Alex.
‘Yeah. Just getting some fresh air.’
Alex nodded. ‘Factory reset.’
‘That’s it.’ It was a hangover from our military days. It was how he decompressed after an incident. It was nice not having to explain to Alex––she understood.
I busied myself for the next twenty minutes, sorting out both Noah and Alex’s clothes.
There was something almost intimate about touching the clothes that had been next to her body.
Probably just as well she hadn’t stripped off completely.
Not sure handling her underwear would have done my blood pressure any favours.
The thought alone was sending blood rushing to parts of my body I’d rather it didn’t right then.
‘What’s the weather doing out there?’ asked Alex as I hung the clothes over the fireguard. ‘Is it easing?’
I liked that she sounded perfectly normal and was asking questions. It reassured me that she was going to be all right.
‘Still snowing,’ I replied. I went over to where she was sitting and draped a blanket over her knees. ‘Only softly, though.’ I crouched down in front of her. ‘Look, I’m really sorry about what happened. It is all totally my fault. I should never have let Noah play outside.’
She pulled the blanket a little tighter around her and sat up. ‘Please do not apologise. I’m fine. I’m not even shivering anymore.’ She glanced over at the clothes hanging in front of the fire. ‘Thanks for sorting them out.’
‘Can I get you anything?’
I had this deep-seated need to do something for her in return. Not that anything I could have done would be enough to thank her for saving my son’s life.
‘I owe you.’
As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw her tense. Her whole body went rigid, and she visibly pushed back into her chair as if she was trying to get away from me.
‘No. Like I said, I’m fine. Thanks.’
Her body language betrayed her. She was anything other than fine.
I stood up and took two deliberate steps back, watching her face all the time. Looking for a reaction. And when her shoulders dropped a fraction, it was like a gut punch. I had frightened her.
I sat back down on the sofa next to Noah, trying to analyse her. But she was a closed shop again.
‘Can you read my book with me?’ asked Noah.
‘Sure. What book is it?’
‘No. I meant Alex.’
I was about to tell him that Alex needed to rest, but she replied first.
‘Of course. I love books.’ She moved over in her chair. ‘Come and sit here. There’s room for a little one.’
I watched my kid snuggle up to her like it was the most natural thing in the world, like something they had done a hundred times before.
I listened as Alex began reading to him.
She had such an easy way with Noah and didn’t seem bothered by the unsolicited affection he was showing her.
It was both comforting and unsettling to see them together like that.
The next thought startled me. I needed to be careful. Noah had already been through the upheaval with his mother and the rejection of him for Christmas. The way he was gravitating towards Alex sent warning flashes in my mind.
In the past, I had avoided introducing Noah to any of my girlfriends. Not that I had many. After Marsha, I had sworn off any kind of commitment. I had promised myself I wouldn’t let another woman into Noah’s life while he was still young and needed me.
I didn’t feel the need to commit. I could go on no-strings-attached dates until Noah was older. But as I sat there and listened to Alex’s voice grow softer as she continued to read until Noah drifted off to sleep, I found myself questioning that decision.
I got to my feet.
‘I should get him in bed,’ I said.
I waited a beat and then went over to her. She didn’t recoil from me this time and moved her hand out from under him as I lifted him up. He stirred but didn’t wake as I carried him through to his room.
When I went back into the living room, Alex was in the kitchen area, putting the kettle on to boil. ‘Coffee?’ she asked.
‘Decaf,’ I replied.
‘Good choice.’ She picked up the decaf jar. ‘He’s a lovely boy. He’s a credit to you.’
I felt a swell of pride in my chest. ‘Thank you.’
‘You can tell he spends a lot of time with you.’
My chest expanded again. ‘Thank you. Again.’
‘Does either of your brothers have kids?’ She spooned coffee into the cups and replaced the jar on the shelf.
‘No. Just me. I’d love for him to have cousins his own age, but Dom and Aaron don’t look like they have any intention of settling down any time soon. Too busy enjoying the single life.’
‘Do you feel like you’re missing out?’
It was a direct question that took me aback, but I wanted to answer her.
‘No. I don’t. And that’s the truth. I wouldn’t swap my life for theirs because that would mean I didn’t have Noah. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’
She looked at me. ‘He’s a lucky boy.’
‘I am very aware of the failings of his mother,’ I said. ‘I probably overcompensate for her sometimes because I don’t want him to be affected by her antics. Like Christmas, for example. I don’t want him to have some kind of issue when he’s older.’
She dropped her gaze to her hands resting on the worktop. ‘Like I said, he’s a lucky boy.’
Fuck. I remembered what she said about not having a dad. She must have read my mind.
‘Alex––’
She turned to me and shook her head. ‘It’s okay.’
I took a step closer. I had the urge to put my arms around her.
She raised her head a fraction, and her gaze found mine. She swallowed.
I went to reach for her, but just at that moment the door flew open, and Paddy stepped into the lodge, stamping the snow from his boots on the coir mat.
Alex sprang away from me. I picked up the cups, unnecessarily moving them. Anything to busy my hands. But I could still feel that exact moment and how close I’d come.