SEVENTEEN
SO MUCH FOR PROFESSIONAL
Alex
‘Extraction complete. Mission accomplished,’ said Oliver as he opened the door to the Jeep ten minutes after we whisked around the dance floor and managed to avoid getting caught up in the Scottish Reel dance.
‘It was fun,’ I said as he climbed into the driver’s seat.
‘But enough,’ said Oliver.
‘Exactly.’
We drove back to the estate with the radio playing softly under a clear sky littered with stars. I rested my head back as I gazed up at them, free of any light pollution.
‘A bit different from a London sky,’ said Oliver.
‘Just a bit. It’s the same sky, but it feels bigger up here, more space, freer.’
‘With that space comes freedom. And freedom makes us safe.’
His voice was gentle. It was as if he knew. I turned my head towards him. ‘Everyone deserves to be safe.’
He glanced over at me. ‘I know.’
We didn’t say anymore in the car. There wasn’t any need.
Oliver pulled up alongside the gatehouse and we both got out. Oliver came around to my side of the vehicle. ‘I’ll walk you back to your lodge.’
We walked side by side, almost touching, but not quite. I pulled my shawl around me, only for something to do with my hands other than reach for his.
At the top of the steps we came to a halt, facing each other.
‘Thank you,’ I said. It seemed inadequate as I wasn’t just thanking him for taking me to my first Burns Night. It was everything else. All the small things he did without me asking, without any expectation.
‘Anytime,’ he said, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets.
‘I think this is where we say goodnight,’ I said.
‘Yeah.’ A pause. ‘Goodnight, Alex.’
He turned to leave.
My heart dropped. Suddenly, I didn’t want him to go.
‘Oliver,’ I whispered his name. Said it louder.
‘Oliver.’ He stopped and turned to look at me.
Waiting for me to say something. I didn’t have to.
I could just say goodnight. But I didn’t want to.
‘Don’t go.’ Still, he didn’t move. For an awful second I thought I had read everything wrong. ‘Stay. Here. With me?’
He stepped back to me. ‘Are you sure?’
I nodded. ‘Definitely.’ I was still gripping my shawl with one hand and held my keys in the other. ‘But only if you want to. Do you want to?’
‘That has to be the most ridiculous question I’ve heard you ask.’ A smile spread across his face, and I immediately felt the tension in my shoulders give. He took the keys from my hand and unlocked the door, stepping aside to let me through. He followed me in, closing the door behind him.
I had left the small lamp on, and a soft amber glow filtered across the room. I stood there looking at him.
He dropped the keys onto the side table and came to stand in front of me. ‘We go at your pace,’ he said softly. ‘You’re in charge, Alex. What you want, when you want. You tell me.’
I could have cried. Tears welled up in my eyes.
He looked alarmed. I shook my head. ‘Good tears,’ I said.
I dropped the shawl to the ground and reached up to the lapels of his jacket, slipping it from his shoulders.
He inhaled and let out a slow breath as I tried to loosen his tie.
He took over and pulled the knot undone.
Still, he waited for me. I undid the top button of his shirt, then the next and the next.
Soon all the buttons were undone, and I had pulled his shirt open.
When I slid my hands over his skin, I found his body was rock solid against my palms.
Then I leaned in and kissed his chest. A small single kiss.
He took another controlled breath in.
‘Fuck,’ he muttered.
I looked up at him. ‘That’s exactly what I’m hoping we’ll do.’
He smiled again. His hands cupped my jaw, and he kissed me.
I thought I was going to dissolve into a puddle right there and then. Oliver might as well have kissed me right between my legs.
I kissed him back. Our tongues found each other’s as I put my hands around his neck and he slid his hands to my waist, pulling me in towards him.
I could feel his erection against my stomach.
I let out a small whimper as his kiss deepened and his hand slid up my back.
His fingertips brushed my bare skin. My knees literally decided at that moment to buckle, but I didn’t go anywhere. Oliver held me tight.
‘I’ve got you,’ he whispered.
Then our lips barely separated, we clung onto each other, and my knees found their grounding from somewhere. I walked us backwards down the hall to the bedroom. All the time, he was letting me lead.
I back-heeled the door open, and we made it into the room, still holding onto each other. It was dark in the room. I had closed the curtains earlier, so not even the moon was shedding any light.
I pulled my head away just enough to speak. ‘The lamp. I’ll put the lamp on.’
I found my way around the bed and flicked on the bedside lamp. A soft amber light, the same as before, bathed the room. Oliver was standing exactly where I’d left him, just inside the door, next to the foot of my bed.
I went to him.
We stood in front of each other for a moment.
I held each edge of his shirt.
I could stop now, if I wanted. I knew I could. Oliver wouldn’t insist.
My fingers scrunched the cotton of his shirt. This wasn’t then. This was now.
His hands closed around mine. ‘Alex.’
I knew he was giving me the chance to say no.
I looked up at him. Met his gaze. I could trust him.
I knew that. I wanted him even more for that.
I slipped my hands from his and slid my fingers up to the top of his shirt, then tugged it from his shoulders.
Even in the half-light of the lamp, I could see how beautiful he was.
I ran my hands down his arms, my fingers gliding over the tattoo on his inner forearm.
It was a compass. Simple black and grey lines. Nothing elaborate.
I ran my finger across his chest, stopping at the simple tattooed blood group just above his heart––a tattoo common with military personnel to make things easier for blood transfusions in combat zones. Oliver’s tattoo read A+. Of course, Oliver would be A+.
My hands moved down his torso as he took a deep breath. I found his belt buckle and made quick work of unfastening it. Then the buttons and then the zip. I held the waistband for a moment, looking up at him.
He still hadn’t moved to touch me. I could see he was warring with himself to maintain control.
The way he swallowed, the way he breathed slowly in and out, the tightness in his neck ligaments and the tension in his biceps.
And that made me feel safe. The fact that he was willing to let me take this at my own pace on my own terms, but I could see from the tension in his whole body, it was a challenge.
I slid the trousers down over his hips and did the same with his boxers, before reaching for his hard cock.
‘Fuck,’ he growled, his breathing deepened, but still he didn’t touch me. ‘I’m not one to beg but I’m seriously considering doing so,’ he muttered.
I rose on tiptoes and kissed him, briefly, before pulling away. ‘Hold out a little longer, soldier,’ I whispered.
He moved his head down, trying to follow my mouth. ‘This is worse than Marines selection.’
‘I’ve only just started.’ I slowly dragged my tongue down his toros and knelt in front of him. His hands went to my head, but there was no pressure, just his fingers clutching my hair.
I licked my lips, opened my mouth and guided his cock with my hand. I could feel it touch the roof of my mouth and then the back of my throat.
‘Lexi,’ he gasped.
Lexi. He’d called me Lexi. Somehow, that was the most intimate thing he’d ever said to me. I could feel the wetness between my legs.
I sucked hard on him as I gripped his cock, sliding my hand up and down. Oliver groaned. I could taste pre-cum. I flicked the end with my tongue and swallowed.
‘Fuck…’ gasped Oliver.
I grasped his buttocks with my hands, pushing and pulling him back and forth, driving his cock in and out of my mouth. He grabbed onto my head then keeping me still as he thrusted in and out of my mouth. ‘I want to come already.’ He gasped.
I pulled away and got to my feet, wrapping my hands around his neck. ‘Not yet. Hold on a bit longer.’
His chest heaved. I could feel the tension running through him, every muscle held in check. His hands rested on my hips. He let out a deep groan as I kissed him. I could feel his erection pushing against my body.
‘Undress me,’ I whispered.
He kicked off his shoes and trousers where they had pooled at his ankles, then his socks. He straightened up, and I took a moment, just a moment, to look at him properly.
God. He was magnificent.
But there was something else. The control he was showing.
The gesture of standing naked in front of me wasn’t to impress, though he had every right to feel confident.
It was something far more deliberate than that.
He was exposing more than his body. He was exposing his intention, his understanding of me, his willingness to be seen before I was ready to be seen myself.
I was still fully clothed. He was waiting for me to be ready. For me to be sure.
And I was. Both things. For the first time in longer than I could remember, I was both things at once.
‘Thank you,’ I whispered.
His gaze was intense, but there was a softening of his expression.
I kissed him lightly on the mouth. Then I smiled. ‘Now help me get out of this dress.’
‘My absolute pleasure,’ he said, reaching behind me and pulling the zip down, then slowly slipping it off my shoulders. He kissed my bare skin. Breathed in deeply as if inhaling me.
‘You’re taking too long,’ I said as a moan escaped me.
‘I don’t want to miss a thing,’ he said.
I couldn’t wait. I yanked my dress off, unclipped my bra and pulled my underwear down.
‘I would never have passed selection,’ I said. ‘Now, get on the bed.’
Oliver lay on the bed. Not reaching for me physically, but I could see the desire in his eyes. Or was it the reflection of mine?
I climbed on top of him, straddling him, rocking against his hard cock as it pressed on my clit, right where I needed it.
I took his hands and, leaning forward, I pushed his palms up to my breasts.
I gave a slow nod. Closed my eyes and groaned as his fingertips found my nipples and squeezed.
Hard enough to make me gasp but gently enough to make me even wetter than I already was.
I wanted him. I wanted him like I had never wanted anyone before.
‘Condom?’ My voice came out on a breath.
‘Shit. My wallet. Trouser pocket.’
I reached down, not wanting to break contact with him and managed to grab his trousers and pass him his wallet.
‘Do you want me to do it?’ I asked as he ripped open the foil wrapper.
‘Do you want to?’
‘Yes.’
He passed me the foil packet without hesitation. I pulled out the condom and moved back so I could slip it over his cock. I stopped. A surge of panic shot through me. Irrational and yet making total sense at the same time. It had to be his choice. To want to be safe. To make me feel safe.
‘You do it,’ I said. ‘It has to be you.’
He looked at me for a long moment. ‘Lexi,’ he said. ‘Look at me. Any time you want to stop, we can.’
‘I know.’ I swallowed hard. My gaze was still held by his. ‘Please, you do it.’ It had to be his choice. He had to want this.
He slipped the condom over his cock. Looked back up at me. ‘Okay?’
I pushed the dark thoughts from my mind. ‘Say Lexi again.’
‘Lexi.’ He paused. His hands moved to my thighs. Soft stroking motions. ‘Lexi. I’ve got you.’
Oh God, he did have me. I knew I was safe. He was safe.
‘I know.’
I moved myself so I was over his cock and then guided him inside me. Just the knob at first. He was not a small man. I had not had sex for a long time.
‘Take your time,’ he whispered.
I lowered myself more. Felt the whole length of his cock slip inside me. I gave a small gasp at the size of him filling me completely. A moment to adjust, and then I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I moved up and down, slowly at first as I rode him. He was watching me, and I knew he was waiting to make sure I really was okay. I leaned down and kissed him, long, hard, wanting, my tongue in his mouth. Then I pulled back a fraction.
‘Fuck me,’ I whispered.
His body reacted immediately, and he thrusted up underneath me, holding my hips, almost lifting me and bringing me down, helping me to ride him. I gasped as I slid down on him. Whimpered as his cock went deep inside me.
I sat tall, arched my back. My hair trailed down like a waterfall, and I squeezed my breasts, pulled my nipples as Oliver lifted me up and down on him.
I cried out. I could feel myself losing control. Gasping for air.
Oliver groaned. Grunted with exertion.
I ran my hands over his chest, damp with sweat, and could feel his heart hammering.
‘I can’t last much longer,’ he panted, thrusting up into me, harder than before, working his hips faster.
‘Nor can I.’
And then I couldn’t hold it at all. I was over the edge. Crying out. Gasping for breath as my body spasmed.
‘Lexi?’ His voice was desperate. Asking for permission.
‘Come. Now. Do it.’ It came out almost like an order. I needed him to come with me.
‘Lexi!’ He called out my name as we both climaxed together.
I thought my whole body was going to explode as a shock wave of pleasure coursed through me. I cried out, gasped for breath and cried out again before I collapsed onto his chest. Panting hard. Oliver’s chest heaved up and down as he fought to catch his breath.
I looked down at him, and he lifted his head to kiss me.
‘You’re amazing,’ he whispered.
I moved off him, to lie next to him, my arm across his chest, his arm around my shoulder as we both gradually recovered.
‘Do you want a glass of water or anything?’ I asked.
‘I’ll get it. You stay there.’
He came back a minute later with the water and sat on the edge of the bed as he passed me the glass. He still hadn’t put any clothes on, and I didn’t feel self-conscious in any way.
‘Thanks,’ I said, taking the glass.
He leaned in and kissed me before letting go of it. ‘Is there anything else you want?’
I put the glass down on the bedside table before I answered. ‘Just one thing.’
‘Name it.’
‘For you to stay.’ I pulled the sheet over me, suddenly feeling vulnerable. ‘Only if you want to. No pressure.’
He looked at me for a moment, reached over and took my hand, kissing my knuckles.
‘That’s the second most ridiculous thing you’ve said to me tonight.’