EIGHTEEN
THINGS JUST GOT COMPLICATED
Oliver
I lay there for a long time, holding Alex to my body, stroking her hair while she slept. I got the feeling she slept better than she had in a long time.
I had thought about her constantly while I was in London.
Burns Night had been the perfect reason to ask her to accompany me.
When I had stepped into the lodge and seen her in that evening dress, her hair loose over her shoulders, I had had an instant physical reaction to her, my brain was only half a second behind. She looked beautiful.
I already knew that anything happening between us would have to be on her terms and hers alone. Whatever she was hiding from, I hoped she’d open up to me about it.
She sighed in her sleep and snuggled further into me.
I kissed the top of her head. I had fallen asleep at some point last night, but I had also been awake for a good hour, going over the situation we were now in.
This wasn’t just a one-night stand. Or at least I didn’t want it to be. I wanted to think Alex felt the same way, but I couldn’t be sure.
Marsha had made her thoughts crystal clear about my relationship judgements. You can’t make someone feel the same way you do just because you want them to, Oliver. Was I doing that with Alex? Fuck. I hated that Marsha had me doubting myself.
I thought back again to last night. Alex had asked me to stay.
Alex had clearly said what she wanted. There was no misunderstanding there.
But did she want a one-night stand or more?
Something told me it wouldn’t be as straightforward was that.
Nothing about Alex was straightforward, and I didn’t mean that as a criticism.
She had her reasons, and I respected them, even the ones she hadn’t told me yet.
The one thing I was certain of was that I couldn’t rush her. Whatever she hadn’t told me, and there was something, I was sure of it, she would tell me when she was ready. And until then, I would wait.
Alex stirred and rolled onto her back. I lay there, watching her. Her eyelids fluttered and then opened. She looked over at me as if only just remembering I was there. She smiled.
‘Good morning,’ she said.
‘Good morning,’ I replied, returning the smile. ‘You okay?’
She sat up and leaned over, kissing me. ‘That’s your ridiculous question of the day.’
I slipped my hand under her hair, cupping the nape of her neck. I returned the kiss. My body reacted immediately. I mean, I had been semi-hard from the moment I woke up and just kissing her was enough to finish the job.
Both my phone and Alex’s phone chose that moment to ping an alert.
We looked at each other.
‘Main gate,’ I said. ‘You expecting anyone?’
‘No. You?’
‘Nope.’
‘You’d better check.’
‘Thought you might say that.’ I swung my legs out of the bed and tracked down my phone, which had been kicked under the bed at some point in the undressing process last night.
Alex got up and pulled on my shirt. Fuck, she looked sexy as she walked out of the room. I heard her go into the bathroom.
I opened the app on my phone. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ I muttered. ‘The postman.’
I looked around for my boxers and noticed the sliding wardrobe door was half-open.
That wasn’t odd, but the fact that there was not a single item of clothing hanging up was.
I slid the door open some more. Empty coat hangers.
Empty shelves. Empty drawer. On the floor were the two bags she had brought with her. Zipped up.
I nudged the holdall with my toe. Definitely had something in it. Clothing. The rucksack was the same. I wasn’t about to go poking around in her bags. Where else could her clothes be?
I looked around the room properly for the first time. There was not a single personal item of hers there. No photos. No keepsakes. Just a paperback. Historical fiction. Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel.
‘Oliver,’ called out Alex from the bathroom.
I slid the door back to half open. ‘You okay?’
‘Got a second?’
I went into the bathroom. The shower was running, and Alex was leaning up against the door, still wearing my shirt. Her pussy was on full display, and I could see her breasts, the nipples covered by my shirt.
I swallowed and tried to keep my eyes fixed on hers. ‘What’s up?’
She glanced down at my cock and raised her eyebrows, a mischievous look on her face. ‘Didn’t know if you fancied a shower.’
She stepped around the door and into the spray. The water cascaded over her, soaking my shirt. It clung to her breasts, her nipples erect and clearly visible through the white cotton.
‘Fuck,’ I muttered and followed her in. ‘Do you know how fucking sexy it is to see you wearing my shirt?’
‘Show me,’ she whispered, standing with her hand at her sides. ‘Show me,’ she repeated.
The shirt looked sexy, but she looked sexier.
I slipped the shirt from her shoulders and chucked it to one side. I held her face in my hands and kissed her.
She moaned. Her hand found my cock, and she slowly began sliding her hand up and down the length.
‘Lexi?’
‘Show me,’ she said again.
My hands cupped her breasts as I lowered my head and sucked on her nipples, one after the other. Then I took my kisses back to her mouth. One hand on her breast, the other sliding down, and slipping between the folds of her pussy, my thumb trailing over her clit.
She let out a small moan. Her grip tightened on my cock. Fuck, that turned me on even more. She opened her legs wider, releasing her hold on me, her hands moved to my back and her nails dug into my skin as she gave another moan. I slipped my finger inside her, feeling her thrust up and down.
She gasped for breath. ‘Fuck me,’ she whispered. And then louder. ‘I need you to fuck me. With your cock.’
I wanted her so fucking bad. I gripped her around the back of her thighs and, in one fluid moment, lifted her up, pushing her against the shower wall, kissing her.
Then, still holding her with one hand, I guided my cock into her.
She wrapped her legs around me and moaned out loud as I pushed inside her.
This time it was hard and fast. We gasped for air, groaned and kissed in a frantic, deep, desired tangle of limbs.
‘Condom,’ I said suddenly.
‘I’m on the pill,’ she said. ‘I’m clean.’
I didn’t doubt for one moment she was clean. The fact that she’d let me inside her without even asking me told me more than she ever could say. Still, I told her the same.
‘I’m clean too.’
‘I knew you would be.’
I moved my head back and met her gaze. I didn’t say anything. She didn’t say anything. It was as if something unspoken passed between us. Then we were kissing as I pushed into her. Harder and faster, finally coming seconds after she did.
I held her there in the shower, the water hitting my back as I caught my breath and gained some semblance of reality again.
I looked at her and realised she was crying. Not sobbing. Just a few tears falling down her face.
‘Lexi.’
‘I’m good,’ she said. ‘Happy tears.’
I looked at her again. Checking she meant what she said. I kissed her tears, pulled her under the shower and held her for a long time. Then, when she had stopped crying, I took the shower gel and washed her all over. Gently, slowly.
I knew I was in trouble before. Now I knew just how much trouble.
After the shower, we dressed, and she made us coffee and toast.
‘Sorry it’s not something more substantial,’ she said, sliding into the chair on the opposite side of the table. She moved the vase of flowers to one side. ‘There. We don’t have to peer through the foliage to see one another.’
‘I take it you found the florist in Risk, then?’ I asked, biting into my toast. ‘Or is there a secret admirer I need to know about?’
She stopped mid-rise of her cup to her mouth. Slowly, she set the cup down on the table.
‘These were delivered,’ she said. ‘Left at the gate.’
We looked at each for a moment. I noticed a flush of red on her neck. Then she closed her eyes momentarily.
‘They’re not from you, are they?’
I winced and shook my head. ‘Sorry.’ In my head I was thinking who the fuck had sent her flowers?
She picked up the card. ‘Happy Burns Night. I assumed… Oh God, I’m such an idiot.’
I reached over and took the card. ‘I wish I had sent you them,’ I said. ‘It’s a genius idea.’ I read the card. ‘So, if they’re not from me, do you know who they are from?’
She frowned. ‘Maybe someone from the town. That’s the day I met Naomi. She knew who I was before I even introduced myself. Maybe she sent them.’
‘Sounds plausible,’ I said. I wasn’t sure which one of us wanted to believe that the most. ‘And I prefer that idea to mine.’
‘What?’
‘A secret admirer.’
She hid the flicker of uncertainty well, but not well enough. Her finger drummed on the side of the cup. She didn’t say anything, and I let the silence linger. Giving her time to gather her thoughts because something was coming, I could tell. Finally, she broke.
‘About last night… this morning,’ she said, looking down at her coffee, and then back up at me. ‘I’m not expecting anything. It probably wasn’t our best move.’
This was not what I wanted to hear. I raised my eyebrows and went for humour. ‘In your opinion. I thought my moves were pretty good.’
She smiled, which was a win for me. ‘Five star.’
‘Look, Alex, like I told you last night, this is all at your pace. No pressure.’
I paused, choosing my words carefully. ‘Just so you know my position on it all. I would like to spend more time with you. Get to know you more.’
And I really did. Unlike any of the one-night stands I’d had before, there was something about Alex that was different. Made me feel different.
She ran her finger around the lip of her cup. ‘The last relationship I had was with my superior. It didn’t end well.’
‘In the army?’
‘Yeah.’
I waited for more. If she wanted to give me more. She said nothing. ‘This isn’t the army,’ I said.
‘I know. That’s why I’m here.’
She gave a small smile, and I could see the apprehension in her eyes, the way she kept her head dipped a fraction, the way her shoulders were down. Subconscious reaction to whatever the hell had happened to her because I knew without asking, there was more to it than what she was telling me.
‘We can take things slowly,’ I said.