Seduce & Destroy

Chapter 30

KILINA

H er cheeks were red and wet from the rain.

It had been days since I’d last seen her, and while she had been the only thing on my mind through my recovery from the bullet graze, I had begun to wallow in my loss. It was why I was in the same black sweatpants I’d been for several days, and I was without my chains, yet she matched my dishevelled aesthetic.

With drenched clothes she stood in front of me. Speech slightly slurred but her words came out decisive and strong. What the fuck is she doing here looking like that?

“I walked.” She was far too nonchalant for a girl that just walked three miles in a dark forest.

“How did you get past the gates?”

Tilting her head, she gave me a dumbfounded look as if to say duh .

I blinked repeatedly. Honestly, that left me more bewildered than I cared to understand. She was at my bedroom door, the very same bedroom I’d been staying in this whole time. Some of my family has moved into the barracks, many of them old enough to remember this house from before the fissure. It held memories that I couldn’t even imagine. Only the younger people were willing to stay in the house.

Regardless of the history this house held, the last few days had been slow.

It felt like the victory was so great that we remained stuck in the smoke of the fireworks. Like this plan had been so long in the making that I’m not sure Daddy or Mama thought beyond the takeover.

Guards walked in circles trying to outline the many acres of land. My brothers were transferring operations from our underground base in Bilham to the Ravencroft Estate, now renamed and reclaimed as the Karstle. Well, that was Malachi’s idea. I voted for the Karstein estate. Simples.

Too many thoughts swirled in my mind to even anticipate Laney showing up at my door. No less drunk. And…forgiving?

“How much have you had to drink?”

“One or two.” She gave a firm nod.

“Glasses?”

A smile graced her lips. “Bottles.”

Oh shit. “How much of this are you going to remember?”

“Don’t patronise me. I’m only a little tipsy.” Her brows furrowed. “Not even. Less than drunk. The wind should be advertised as a hangover cure the way it woke me up.” Then, she dropped her shoulders and leaned into the door frame. “…I’m so tired.”

“I bet.”

She rolled from the doorway forward, almost kissing the floor if I hadn’t caught her. I held her in my arms, her rosy cheeks were cold to the touch, I tried not to flinch when she wrapped her cool skin around me. The bullet graze made it difficult for me to bend, the pressure of her in my arms cauterising the wound anew, but the heat that entered my heart soothed the burn.

Selfishly, I nuzzled my face between her head and shoulder. A slot perfectly made for my face to sit. She smelled as I remembered lavender and lemongrass. My knees sank to the floor as I held her.

“Thank you,” she whispered into my hair.

“For what, princess?”

“For listening to me.”

A piece of me was warmed, and another piece was saddened by that thought. It seemed to me that Laney was stuck between two worlds, the one where she could freely expose her innermost feelings and the one where she could ruthlessly cut a man’s balls from his body. Did it ever occur to her that she could be both? My poor, misunderstood girl. Wait, no–

“This,” I had to proceed with caution. “...doesn’t change anything.”

Her breathing had finally evened, but she held tight to me. “Shhhh.”

“I’m serious. You were right. I…” Words were difficult, especially when they fought against the wills of my heart. “Please, just…” I didn't complete the thought. We should rest first, it was the wee hours of the morning. My brain lagged. “Never mind.”

“Spit it out.” Her tone remained soft despite the stern words. “Don’t baby me, I can handle it.”

I was taken aback. “I know you can, princess. You’re much stronger than me.” I said, stroking her hair gently down her back. “It’s just that my eyes are fighting for their lives to stay open right now. Let’s leave it for tomorrow.”

She didn’t move from our embrace. “Okay. And Father?”

“He’s okay.” For now. “We should sleep.”

Still, she remained still, but in the quietest voice, said, “We?”

I slowly nodded, loosening my arms around her. “We.”

She fell back on her heels.

I pointed a finger at her and tapped her nose. “Don’t make me regret it.”

She smiled. “Well, don’t hog the covers then.”

“Pinky swear.”

I dare not tell her that her bedroom was untouched next door as I pulled down my duvet and wrapped her up in the warmth.

★

It took a while to register that the voice coming from outside the door was real, and not just in my dream. The warmth of my bed was blissful. Damn these rich folks for investing in the good stuff. This was certainly the best bed I’ve ever slept on. Just as I began to drift again, the voice returned louder.

“Kk, it’s almost twelve! Give me a sign of life or I’m sending dad in!”

I sat up so quickly that I was flung back down into the mattress by the arm that held me down like a seatbelt. Father definitely couldn’t find this. “I’m awake! I’m awake, promise!” A groan came from beside me. Softly, I whispered to Laney, “Let me go, I won’t leave, promise.” It was enough to get her to loosen her grip.

“Come to lunch, Mum wants to speak to you. Ten minutes. Okay?”

My head was fuzzy when I got to my feet. If I wore white more often, I’d never stop doing laundry because of the amount of clothing I’ve stained by the blood. Each movement opened the scab. It was the itch that was more irritating than the sting.

I took my top off as I looked down at the floor to find an outfit to wear. Tight jeans were out of the question. My leather jacket was too hard of a material. Just this once, I wished cosy jumpers were my aesthetic. Leggings and a jumper were the way to go.

I had got one leg in my leggings when there was a knock at the door.

“Coming!” I shouted. Laney groaned, still face planted into her pillow.

“Now, Kilina.”

This family. I grit my teeth, trying not to sound angry. “I’m getting changed!”

A sock was stuck in the other leg of the leggings, I punched my foot to shift it, but it was a struggle. I breathed hard and yanked it up over my knee.

Then, the door clicked open. Mothers.

“I said I was coming.”

She looked disapproving at my disarray, only seeming sympathetic when she noticed my flinch. “I can help, you know, here,” she said, coming to my side to hold me steady as I pushed the leggings over my hips. “The top?”

I pointed aimlessly toward a black shirt that laid beside my bed. A turtleneck. Black. It’ll do. I sat on the vanity chair to catch some breath. My body hurt. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Might as well start the discussion early.

Sleep still clouded my eyes. Man, I need more sleep. Or less excitement in my life. Somehow it didn’t feel right without it.

Mummy usually couldn’t go one minute without inserting her opinion into something, the quiet was unusual. Thankfully, Laney was still sound asleep.

“Mummy?”

That’s when I looked up.

She was frozen at my bedside, her eyes unmoving from something on the bed.

Laney. Shit.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

She lifted her gaze to me. “You said it was over. That’s not what it looks like.”

“It was. Is.” I stood back up, a pain sliced through my side.

“I knew you were warming the bed for the Ravencroft girl, but still? Have you no sense of loyalty?”

I didn’t answer. Laney rolled on her back as she began to stir, but my eyes remained firmly on mummy’s.

“Don’t.” I said. “I’ll fix it.”

She shook her head. “I’ve told you many times, Kilina. Don’t let lust distract you from the family.”

“This was a temporary lapse in judgement. Trust me, Mummy.” I prayed Laney wasn’t coherent enough to realise those words. It broke my heart.

Mummy gave me an unbelieving look as she passed me on the way to the door.

“I’ll end it,” I said, softly. “For real.”

“She’s not welcome here.”

“I know.”

“All we’ve worked for…” She slowly shook her head, standing at the door. “I want them gone, Kilina. Make sure of it.”

When I came to the lunch table ten minutes later, where my whole family sat, I knew they knew. I promised Laney I wouldn’t be long. I was wrong. Daddy wasn’t looking my way.

“Your one day is up.” Malachi said, the cheery tone from earlier was replaced by monosyllabic punches. “You need to kill him.”

I chose my next words carefully. “I’ll do it.” Terrence rolled his eyes, I clenched my fists. “Richard wasn’t a leader, he was just a puppet. Nothing significant. Edward was the big thinker, believe me.” But it didn’t matter, did it?

Tension grew. No one moved.

“Why are you protecting him?” Daddy said.

“I’m not!”

“Then why are we delaying it?” Malachi challenged.

Mother pointed a finger at me. “Are you sleeping with him too?”

I looked disgusted. “No!

“Then why?”

Don’t say her name. Keep her from scrutiny. Don’t say her name. “It’s just… he needs to suffer for all the harm he caused. Death is too easy. That’s all”

Terrence finally spoke. “He’s the last pillar of our takedown, Kilina. He should’ve been killed a week ago. Be honest. Please.”

I let the quiet speak for me for a minute. I couldn’t come up with a defence quick enough.

“Speak of the devil,” Malachi said under his breath, eyes over my shoulder.

I turned in my seat. Laney stood in the doorway. Paused. Out of earshot. No one objected to her presence on the estate. I could breathe a sigh of relief. Thankful that they didn’t also consider her a loose end. “She’s not a factor in this.”

“She’s the only factor in this.” Malachi said.

“I want her gone. Kill them both.”

“Daddy, please.”

“Don’t get distracted, Kil, I warned you. Attachments are burdens. Kill them. We’ve lost too much to them.”

“She didn’t do anything wrong! She’s like me, she didn’t choose her family.” I pleaded. He returned a look not to be argued with. “Fine,” I said. Defeated.

“No, not fine.” Daddy finally met my eye and stood. “Give him a bloody death, you are right to make him suffer.”

“He deserves nothing less.” Terrence joined him.

Something had changed. The air was thicker, their voices more impassioned. “What happened?”

I’d never seen Terrence as pitiful as now. “We found the tape. Of the fire.”

“It was him.” Daddy confirmed. “He is responsible for the massacre.”

“What?” If I had known that it was him personally, there would be multiple bullets in his skull the moment he entered my field of vision. I was too emotionally tied up now. “Why?” I breathed.

“Torture it out of him!” Malachi said, cheer returning.

“We don’t know.” Dad said. “Find out for us. Do it for the family you never got to meet, Kilina, for the childhood home you never had, or I will do it for you.”

But I failed to understand. Richard was a child back then, how could he start a civil war if he wasn’t there to lead it? I shook my head.

We killed the wrong man. I realised. I still had the chance to serve justice. “I’ll do it.”

I grew motivated by their faith in me. The ruthless energy that had mellowed bubbled back up. This place hadn’t made me soft, it made me care. This was what revenge was made of.

I walked to Laney, stopping an inch too close to her. “We’re ending this.”

“Let me say goodbye, Kenna.” Kenna? I’m not playing that character anymore. She grabbed my hand and tugged until my eyes met hers. “Please.”

With an abrasive pace, I clamped down on her hand and dragged her toward the dungeon door, just beyond it laid her father’s soon-to-be deathbed.

Laney fought for her hand back as the door slammed shut behind us, enclosing us between damp walls. “I can’t.”

“You’ll feel better after this, I promise.” Once through the next set of doors the temperature dropped five degrees, and a clinging dampness cinched onto my body. Rounding the corner after the door banged shut behind us, I pushed her up against a wall, my hand firmly pressing her chest.

I would give her one chance to say goodbye to her villain of a father. They wanted me to torture him into a confession, but she could do it better. She deserved the closure, maybe even more than us.

“I’m giving you the privilege to say goodbye to your father. And after that, you leave. For real. I can’t save you if you don’t.”

“No, I came back! That was my decision, you can’t take that from me!”

“You don’t have that choice anymore, Laney. This house has changed, I’ve changed. It has to end.”

“So, all this time, it wasn’t real? Last night?”

“It was fantasy.” Her face angered. “I wanted it to be real, but it could never be. I’m not Kenna, I never was.”

“You’re lying to me.” I held strong. Commanding my body to assume the most intimidating stance I could muster, making my body a threat to her. It pained me to see her cower, but I had to do this. This wasn’t something we could resolve.

A suppressed shiver shook my body, when she puffed her chest out, briefly making skin to skin contact. It was as much of a lie as it was a truth. The blood coursing through my veins felt like it had needles in it.

Instead of giving a response, I turned on my heel. Leaving her. I knew it was her weakness.

“Okay, okay!” She followed in a haste. “I’ll go, just let me say goodbye first. Please.”

“Okay,” I said. Our steps synced up as we strode parallel to each other until we reached his door.

Richard had been basically comatose the entire time he was held here. Delayed medical intervention, and then, no intervention derailed his mind. On the days he did open his eyes they stared blankly at the ceiling. His death would be easy.

Laney rushed into the room, when I brought her to his cell. “Father.”

He looked pale with sunken features and dried spit on his jaw. It was hard to imagine him in the position that he used to be. Right now, he looked anything other than fearsome.

“Oh my god, Father.” She fussed with his hands, squeezing them softly over and over. It was hard to tell what their relationship looked like. Half the time she hated him, other times she was desperate for his presence. It was toxic at best, parental at worst.

The whistle in his breath indicated that he was still alive. But barely. He laid on the ground in the same funeral garb he’d worn when he was shot. The hole of the bullet provided a clear window to inspect his wound. It was gnarly, and browned.

A doctor had stemmed the bleeding quite efficiently before he was pulled off him by Karstein guards and dragged away. Richard had been here ever since. I hoped he was drowning in his own self-pity, but in the back of my mind, I already knew he had the mercy of ignorance in his sickened mind.

After her goodbyes, he’d be gone quick.

Laney pulled a chair from the guard station just outside the room, the metal dragged on the floor, and it echoed.

His eyes began to flutter open at the sound. He still had that blank stare on his face that I’d grown accustomed to in his state. It took a while for him to notice there were people in the room, but when he did his eyes widened and stuck on me.

“Can you hear me?” Laney said with gravel in her voice but alert. “Squeeze my hand, if yes.”

No movement came. Her hope faded.

She leaned over him, towering over his field of vision from where he laid on the floor. I couldn’t decipher the next words, only his expression. It went from surprise to anger, though, the cardiac arrest had muted these shifts to be subtle. I moved closer to hear, but I only caught the latter end of the sentence.

“...everything, Father. There’s no one left.”

His eyes remained on me. And he mouthed one word. Karstein.

Laney looked up at me, at a loss, but I knew. I was his worst fear.

I shrugged her, while I tightened my grip on the gun in my hand. “Say goodbye.”

Her shoulders dropped. “Father, I…”

Galen. He mouthed again. To me.

“What?” Laney said. “No, it’s me.”

I shook my head. Galen Karstein. My dead uncle perished in the fire.

“Fuck you.” Richard suddenly said. He lifted his head off the floor, but he didn’t get far.

“What? Father, calm down. It’s over. I told you.”

He cleared his throat, lifting his hand from Laney’s grip. “Get out.”

Look who had a brain after all. “No can do, Richie.”

“Kilina, stop agitating him. He’s already weak.”

“He can speak for himself.”

“I need a moment alone with my daughter. Leave.” He said with such confidence that my eyebrows shot up. Was he faking this entire time?

“I don’t answer to you.” I responded.

Laney scooted closer, “I opened Mother’s letter.”

His eyes flit toward her, eyebrows raised, expectant.

“She told me to get far away from you.”

“That bitch. I loved her! Protected her, coveted her , as I did you, Sunshine. You made the storm clouds go away.”

Bullshit. I saw the way he dismissed Laney, silenced her, took her for granted. He shouldn’t even get this right to defend himself. “She said you trapped her into marriage.” Her eyes reddened with unshed tears. “With me.”

“Don’t pretend to know, Sunshine. She wanted to marry me. She loved me.”

“I wasn’t a product of love.” Her cheeks blazed. In shame, I realised.

“Of course, you were, Sunshine. Til death do us part, she promised.”

“You forced her. She told me.”

“I did no such thing,” Spit collected around the seam of his mouth, the white foam slowly dripping down his chin. “She never listened to me. Always feeling sorry for herself with something. You made her happy.”

Laney flipped out an army knife, and I swore I fell in love again. “Do you even miss her?”

“Don’t ask me silly questions, girl.”

A tear slipped down Laney’s cheek, her hands shaking. I had to look away.

Then, his glaring eyes found mine. “Aren’t you going to apologise? You made her into a bumbling mess!”

I rolled my eyes at the accusation. “Me? You did this.”

“I certainly did not.”

Laney groaned loudly. “Stop it, Father!” She said, swinging the knife without care. “Tell me why you really did it. And don’t talk around it.”

“Styria and I met in college.” He smiled. “Galen and I were both the oldest children of our bridged family. Destined to be friends, but in practice we were constantly competing. First it was just banter, jabs and light punches, but soon enough the punches rolled into full-on fist fights. He’d had a girlfriend before, he went out drinking in the park with the older kids, he had it all. He threw it in my face and isolated me. Until your mother came along, she struggled with battles of the mind, while I threw the punches, we understood each other.

“Then one day, I was walking to her house after college. Smug and holding flowers. I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend. But when I turned the corner on her street, a car idled in front of her house. I recognised the number plate immediately. The driver door opened, and Galen walked to open the passenger door. Out walks, Styria, blushing.

“He didn’t look but he knew I was watching. I came to her house everyday like clockwork. I was running late because I stopped to buy flowers from the village shop. Then, he kissed her. Styria’s mother, Mrs Braxton, stood at the door, admiring. It wasn’t fair.”

“Father,” Laney sighed softly. “The fire?”

He ignored her. “I stabbed him. As he fell, I stepped on his knee, I heard the crack of joints. He didn’t fight me, just laughed on the ground. Styria said it was a mistake, she kept saying she was sorry. There was a glint in her eyes, though. Fear. I ran home.”

“Due to his injury, Galen had to sleep in the library downstairs. I heard my mother say that to my father. I was grounded. When night fell, I stole some petrol and matches and marched to the Karstein mansion. Books are great fuel. She promised to keep the secret. I had to marry her.”

“All of this for petty drama. You’re unbelievable”

“I did this for you!” He yelled.

“You did this for yourself!” She sighed, and produced a hair pin from her pocket, the tip of it lethal. “I was just too dumb to realise. All this time you only wanted to protect yourself.”

“I won, Laney. I got her, and I got you. I won’t apologise for that. I won!”

But she wasn’t listening. “You weren’t building an army to defend the Ravencroft Estate, you were building an entourage, a buffer to protect your own back. Cannon fodder. You weren’t worried Grandfather’s death was a targeted attack, you were worried you were next.”

Richard’s face was unreadable, his smug expression masking his true feelings.

“Grandfather moved away because he was ashamed of you! He was murdered because of you!” His face fell as Laney lifted the hair pin and held it just over his open wound. “He was murdered Father, and all you cared about was yourself!” She shook her head, taking out a blade from her ankle and turning it sideways. “You didn’t win. No, you failed. I’m ashamed to be related to you.”

“You were made in the image of me!”

“Well, I prefer the image of my mother.” In one fell swoop, she used the side of her blade like a hammer and banged the hairpin into his wound. The scream he let out rumbled through the cold walls. “A Braxton. Not a Ravencroft.”

“Stab me, Laney.” Blood poured from the wound anew. “Don’t make me hear those words.”

She raised the knife to his chest, wavering. “You disgust me.”

“Just kill me, Laney.”

I came up behind her, gun gripped tightly at my side. “You don’t have to do this,” I said softly in her ear. A brutal death weighed on your conscience, I didn’t want that for her. She’d been through enough.

“Do it for me.” Her father said as blood appeared to pool in his mouth. Her lips downturned at the sight. “I have nothing to live for anyway.”

“Not even me?” She replied, gutted.

He looked at me and then her, perusing her up and down in disgust. “You’ve been tainted.”

I hoped to provide her some privacy by moving to stand in the corner of the room, but my eyes were peeled to see this man suffer.

All of a sudden, my gun was snatched from my hand and a cracking whack rang through the air. Laney had hit him across the face with my gun. Then stabbed in the heart, right in the hole of his shirt where the bullet had entered.

He yelped a haggard cry for help, but his eyes were dead. No one was coming to help him. Least of all his daughter, who dragged the embedded knife downward to pierce his lungs. He gargled some blood before going limp.

Laney collapsed, spent beside him, and when she looked up at me, her cheeks were dry.

★

“I regret every birthday,” she uncovered the tattoo on her arm. We sat in the hallway outside the cell, Laney didn’t want to go far. “I hid in my room to not make him more pitiful. Every time I shied away from talking about Mother, I should’ve thrown it in his face.”

I let her speak.

“You know, I never got to meet my grandparents on my mother’s side, Father told me they didn’t want anything to do with me. I guess I now know why.”

“You could reach out to them,” I grabbed her hand, “You still have a family.”

A bittersweet smile played on her lips. “I don’t know how I woul–”

Terrence came bounding round the corner. “Go in there! What is taking so long?”

I stood. “It’s done.”

He stopped in front of us. “And you’re sitting here commiserating?”

“Celebrating,” Laney deadpanned.

“Oh really?”

I nodded, eyebrows lifted at her response. “That bad, huh?” I told her.

She nodded with me. “I recently discovered.”

“I’ll tell Daddy you killed him. He’s itching for an update.”

“I didn’t…actually.” I looked him in the eye, then tilted my head. “She did.”

The shock on his face was golden, but too quickly, it turned into a graver expression. “Parricide?” He asked.

“Thought maybe it’ll earn her some brownie points.” Laney shrugged, but it did nothing to soothe the panicked expression on Terrence’s face.

“I-I…don’t know about that, Kil, are you sure about this?” He said.

I looked toward Laney. “It’s a risk.”

“I’m not here to hurt you.” Laney said. “Promise.”

Terrence knelt down before her. “It’s not that simple, sweetheart. You carry his name.”

“I don’t want it. I’ll prove it.”

“I’ll tell him that.”

“I’m not a threat,” she said, defiant.

He stood again and as he walked off said. “We’ll be the judge of that.”

A pregnant pause elapsed. I wasn’t sure what to say. All I knew was that she couldn’t stay. I still failed and Laney was still a Ravencroft. Both indelible truths. Daddy wasn’t going to forgive this so easily.

As if sensing my thoughts, she scooted closer to me, our hips touching. “You know, we can make this work right?”

I released the deep breath I was holding. “The trouble isn’t over. Sorren will be waiting around every corner you walk around when he discovers you’re back. Not to mention my father–”

“I don’t care anymore. I’m going against everything adverse to my nature. Kenn–Uh Kilina, I forgive you. I’ve lost my entire family but I’m here. For you. Is love not enough? Does love have to have pain for you to want it, to allow yourself to feel it?”

“Love hasn’t got anything to do with it. It’s not you, it’s m—”

“Shut the fuck up, right now.”

“Princess.” I sighed.

“No!” She yelled. “No, you don’t get to do this. I sacrificed everything for you, my home, my stability, my health. All the while, you were winning. You won, Kilina, huh? Isn’t that good enough? Can’t I be your victory prize?”

“You don’t know me, Laney. You think you do, but I’m not Kenna. I am not looking for a reward. I was only the first thing that came along. There will be others.” My blood ran cold at my own words. Others? You think I’d let them get close. But I had to say it, because she had to hear it. “Don’t be with me just because you don’t know anything else. I deserve to be chosen.”

“I chose you in the hallways of St. James's, don’t delude yourself into thinking you forced me. I chose this too. I am not my father. ” She choked. “I came back to my former home that was besieged by my worst enemy. Don’t talk to me about choice. The weak revenge. The strong forgive. That’s what Einstein said. You’ve had your revenge, very clearly, but don’t you also want to be strong?”

“What kind of literary bullshit is that Laney please. I can’t stand—”

She put her foot down. “I forgive you. Every bit of it.”

“You don’t truly believe that. You’re just latching on to me. My family is waiting for me. I’ve got to report back on this.” I went toward the door, and she slammed it shut before I could leave it.

“I love you.” She laid the words out, stripped bare. I didn’t doubt they were honest, but I wasn’t sure I could accept it. Laney was touch starved to the point where any touch was conceived as a loving one. It wasn’t the reality of life though. Her insecurity around her inexperience was something she can’t fix with me here. I was too familiar.

I gave her a weak smile. “Your mother would be proud of you.”

“She would. I opened the box. She told me to choose love, Kilina. In that box was a letter. It was from her before she passed.” She had more hope in her eyes than I had in my entire life, if only I could let her in.

“Yeah? Well, we found footage of your father starting the fire, burning my grandparents and uncle to death. We aren’t cut from the same cloth. It’ll never happen.” I sighed. “You’re a Ravencroft, Laney. I’m a Karstein. Your father destroyed this. Destroyed us before we were even born.”

“I’m not my father!” She yelled. “Can’t we get rid of some of this animosity?”

“No.”

“So, I was right?”

“No one’s wrong.”

“We are incompatible.”

She dropped her shoulders, defeated, I thought at first, but then she pushed them back in a show of confidence. “I don’t think so. This is my home. I’m staying.”

I punched a fist into the wall beside her head. “Can’t you see, Laney? I’m using you. I needed you to ring a confession from your father. I needed you to get close so that I could stay in this house. It wasn’t real. You’re a strategy.”

It didn’t hurt her like I thought it would.

It emboldened her.

“I am not.” She said as she stood, “Come back to me when you are done lying to yourself.”