Chapter 17
Auggie was thinking about the dance and men and what some had said to her tonight—and Em and Junie—and, damn it…she was thinking that Slater Davis hadn’t excited her in the least but Calloway Grady had given her the jitters. In so many ways.
Slater Davis was one of the hottest men in the world. And she’d felt no flutters at all tonight when he had looked at her that way.
But she’d felt compassion for him—there had been a world of hurt in that man’s eyes when she’d let him hold Maeya after he’d asked. He’d said something about red curly hair, she hadn’t been able to quite hear, then he’d handed her baby back to her. The look in his eyes was almost one of grief.
Then Cal had been there.
Cal had most certainly chased him off. Possessively.
That caveman had been possessive. No denying that.
She’d never really had a man be like that over her before. All hot, and sexy, and determined. She shivered.
Of course she had. Calloway was dangerous. She’d known that forever—just…not quite like this. She had never even considered he’d turn those green, green eyes of his in her direction. Or that she’d want to look back.
She did. Damn it. This was not what she’d planned.
It was hard to resist a man like that.
But she had.
Of course, the girls had made that a sure thing. She’d spent most of the night watching the girls. They’d had a good time, mostly, but three of them had definitely been up to something. She still hadn’t figured out what yet. The morning would bring those answers, maybe.
Em and Junie had sent Auggie to her room as soon as they’d gotten home. Claiming she was hurting, and it was her time for herself for the week. They were handling the bedtime routine tonight. She was supposed to be relaxing with the heating pad.
She winced. She should probably go help them—the girls had all been over stimulated. It was not going to go well. She was sure of it.
But she was hurting. From being stupid. Now she couldn’t take care of her girls—because of her own pride and vanity. Well, she’d learned her lesson. Never again.
Someone knocked lightly on her door. Probably Em or Junie, this late. Which…she could use some outside perspectives on that damned man here. “Come in.”
It was January.
With a hesitant look on her beautiful face. Like she was still afraid she’d be not wanted. Not be allowed in.
This girl was Auggie’s heart. She hurt for this little sister and what she’d suffered so much. What Bruce had done to January was unconscionable.
They were a lot alike, and not just physically. The hurt in January’s eyes was so much like that which stared back at Auggie from her own mirror. “Hey, sweetie. You okay?”
“I just wanted to check on you. I brought you some pain killers from Em. And some lemonade.” Jan perched on the foot of Auggie’s bed. She was always so hesitant with Auggie, Em, and Junie. Like she wasn’t quite sure of her place with them.
Like she was stuck floating out there alone. Too young to be one of the adult sisters, too old to be one of the little girls. Right in the middle, and alone.
Alone. Just like Auggie had been with her aunt and uncle so many years ago. “Thank you. Want to sit and talk for a bit?”
She just shrugged. “I guess.”
“What did you think about the dance?”
It had been the first time they’d taken the girls to a community dance.
It was just one of those things the town did every quarter and had for almost a century.
Flo Talley had insisted all the girls who worked at the diner go when they were younger, and first working for her.
She’d even made a rotating schedule; and had closed the diner two hours early every time.
Auggie’s aunts and uncles had started going back twenty years or so, too.
Everyone in town was invited, but usually only a few hundred people showed up at one time.
Some of Auggie’s favorite memories had happened at those dances. Some of her worst ones, too. Her cousin Pip had been assaulted at one when she’d been a teenager, that was hard to forget.
But tonight…had been January’s first.
“It was okay, I guess. A lot of people.”
Including a teenage boy no older than fifteen. A friend of their cousin Deacon. Auggie had supervised that very closely. “There usually is.”
“A lot of beer. I don’t like that.”
No. Their father had usually had a beer in his hand from the time he’d show up until the time he’d leave. Especially after her mom had first left. She suspected it had been the same for January’s childhood. “Just in the one part.”
“It had smelled really bad.”
“And it brought up memories. I know; for me, too.”
And the girls had all been told explicitly to stay out of that part. No kids were allowed in that section, ever. “What’s bothering you?”
“I’m sorry about what the girls did to Slater and Royal Davis.”
Auggie winced. “I thought they had to have had something to do with it. It was ice cream, wasn’t it?”
Chocolate ice cream down the hottest actor in Hollywood’s pants. Of course her girls were responsible for that. Of course.
“I think Nova gave them the idea, honestly. She was saying something to Avril about a bad Hollywood man trying to take Aunt Robin once…”
Auggie was too familiar with that story. Their cousin Nova, right between Tobi and Avril in age, had used her ice cream with extremely accurate aim against the Hollywood director Rowland Bowles once. Right in the zipper.
Royal and Slater Davis had ended up with ice cream all down their leather coats tonight, too. Expensive leather coats. And it had ended up all down Slater’s pants. Auggie would try to reimburse them, now that she knew. But those were expensive coats.
Slater had told her his baby brother Quade was probably responsible for the mess, anyway.
Wonkus McBubbles usually was responsible for all the mishaps Slater and Royal faced.
Slater had promised to lock McBubbles in a cupboard before the next dance—Quade Davis, the actor who played Wonkus, had agreed.
They were really nice men, under those gorgeous exteriors.
“I am not so sure what happened or why. But they did it.”
January nodded.
“I think they were afraid. They think…if you and Em and Junie have boyfriends or date or anything, that means that…the guys will be…like our dad’s girlfriends.
He had a few before…Sheila. After Mama…And they weren’t very nice.
” January was always really…monotone…whenever she spoke about life with Bruce.
Like she was just relaying information to get it out there. Like it didn’t bother her at all.
Auggie suspected it was her sister’s way of compartmentalizing. “I see. I can’t say that we won’t ever date or anything like that. Especially…Em and Junie. Dating is normal and healthy for people.”
They would want to marry someday, she thought. Have their own lives. They couldn’t all nine stay here at the ranch forever.
Her stomach tightened thinking about that. Had she even thought about that since waking up in the hospital to get the girls? She had seen the men tonight—they found her sisters funny and attractive, and it was just a matter of time before Em and Junie felt the same, right?
What did she want for her sisters, besides for them to be happy? If that was there with her and the rest of the heathens, fine. But…what if it wasn’t?
What if they didn’t want to become crazy spinster sisters living at the ranch for their entire lives?
“I told the girls that. Well, Jules, anyway. She thinks it’s romantic.
She saw everybody dancing tonight. Jules thinks people falling in love is a great thing.
She believes in it. Happily ever afters and things.
” And January didn’t. She was too…afraid.
Because she was young and didn’t understand relationships—because until recently she hadn’t seen any healthy ones up close.
“She wants you and Em and Junie to fall in love and live happily ever after. Like the girls in the books she reads. I told her those kinds of books weren’t real.
People didn’t really fall in love and live happily ever after. They just don’t.”
Oh, Auggie’s heart broke completely then. So much cynicism and pain in a voice so young. It was wrong; it shouldn’t be like that.
“I can understand that. Falling in love is a great thing. And it is real, sweetheart. I promise. I have seen it happen a few times. Uncle Nick and Aunt Robin were hilarious to watch. He’d turn bright red every time she even smiled at him.
He’d get nervous and not know how to talk to her.
And Uncle Phil and Aunt Glenna—when he would look at her, the whole world would turn a little…
sweet and beautiful, Jannie. I didn’t always know what love looked like.
” She had made a vow months ago—always be as honest with the girls as she could.
Just in age-appropriate ways. “I’ve seen it in the beginning stages, and I’ve seen it up close in the trenches, when we moved in with Uncle Bill and Aunt Susan.
It’s not like the books, no. It isn’t. Because it’s better. It’s…real.”
“I don’t ever want to get married.”
Auggie had once said the same thing. And now…now she had six little girls to take care of. The idea of adding a relationship with a man to that…
Terrified her.
Utterly terrified her.
“I told the girls you might someday, though. I don’t think it would be fair if you wanted to and you couldn’t because of us. We don’t want to be burdens.”
Oh, hell. She’d known that what that woman from the library had said had upset Jan last week.
And they’d stopped by the library today to drop off books.
Of course. Jan was so scared of making things hard for Auggie, she went overboard in the opposite direction.
Trying to be perfect. To help. To take care of Auggie instead of Auggie taking care of her.