Chapter Three Carden #2
“Urgh,” Carden said to no one, as he was fucking alone in his small studio apartment.
There was nothing for it. He would not paint his self-portrait today; that was for sure.
He grabbed a canvas and then his phone. Carden had a feeling how Marius should look, should be painted, but a refresher of how the man actually looked would help with the finer details.
The canvas was already prepped. He decided to be daring and put a pencil to it for the rough outline. Usually with a portrait he liked to warm up with a few sketches on paper first, but that wasn’t going to happen today. He was too impatient to get started.
It took only a few moments for him to get in the zone. And when he got up and stretched a few hours later, he had a good chunk of the work done. He looked around his depressing space as he stretched. Fuck. Adam was right. This apartment was sad. No wonder he was sad when he was here.
He closed his eyes for a moment and was about to sit down again when his stomach grumbled.
He forgot to eat while he painted, and now, he was hungry and thirsty.
Still, he didn’t regret it, as he felt accomplished and satisfied with his progress.
The painting wasn’t done yet, but it was nearly there.
He would add the details once the paint was completely dry.
With acrylics that happened fast, so he could probably work on it again after he made himself dinner.
Carden made a quick stir-fry and then sat on the floor in front of the canvas to eat it. It was good. It was going to be one of his best works, not that anyone except maybe Pearl and Adam would see it.
He finished his dinner, did the dishes, and then went back to work.
◆◆◆
It was stupid how he could not forget the night with Marius.
He was at a bar, one of the places he liked to go to when he was in need of a hookup before he and Kevin got together.
Dim lights, soft music, pretty bartenders.
It attracted mostly younger people. The guy talking to him was nice and funny.
He looked like he could be fun in bed too, but somehow Carden wasn’t feeling it.
He sighed.
“You okay?” the guy asked.
“I don’t know. I had really great sex two weeks ago with a guy that was so totally not my usual type, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
It’s not even funny,” Carden replied, well knowing that his guy might take offense at that.
The truth was that he didn’t care. He would not go home with this cutie.
The guy blinked. Carden was totally expecting him to walk away, because it was clear to both of them that they weren’t happening tonight—or ever.
“Did you get his number?” the guy asked instead, surprising him.
Carden shook his head. Would Marius even have given him his number? Carden took a sip of his colorful drink. “He’s a singer.”
“Okay? They do have phones too, you know?”
Carden laughed. “Yeah, they do, but I think I was—I mean, I think he thinks I’m a groupie?”
“That sounded like a question.”
Carden shook his head. “I really don’t fucking know.”
“Okay, so start from the beginning,” the guy said.
Carden was trying hard to remember his name because he seemed like a good guy and an even better listener. “Yeah, but, I’m sorry, I forgot your name.”
The guy grinned. “Josh.”
“Hi Josh, I’m Carden.”
“I know, because I remember your name,” Josh said.
“Sorry.” He could feel himself blushing and was glad that the lights were low and colorful here.
Josh waved it away. “It’s fine. So, tell me all about the singer.”
“I won’t give any names, okay?”
“That’s fine. But boy, do you have it bad for this guy if you don’t want everyone to know you fucked a celebrity.”
“They aren’t that famous,” Carden replied.
“Yet?”
Carden nodded, because that was true. Citizen Clash was going places for sure. When he entered the bar an hour ago, one of their songs was playing.
“So,” Carden began and then told Josh the whole fucking story from start to finish. “And it’s not like I never spoke to a celebrity before. I mean, I danced with Sebastian Winter that one time, you know?”
“What? No shit?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die if I lie,” Carden said.
“He’s so fucking hot, I want him to bend me over and fuck me all night long,” Josh said with a wicked smile.
Carden choked on a laugh. “He’s taken.”
“Don’t I know? The one time a hot celebrity comes out as bisexual, I think, boy, yes, and then it turns out he is dating his equally hot all-American co-star.” Josh took a sip of his beer. “Anyhow, you were saying it wasn’t your first rodeo with a celebrity.”
Carden nodded. “Yeah, because Sebastian Winter, right?”
“Right, but you didn’t fuck Sebastian Winter.”
“True,” Carden said, and there was no way in hell he would either.
“If you really are so into this guy, maybe you should go to his next gig, maybe hook up again, maybe go for a coffee or something afterward,” Josh said.
“Wouldn’t that look kind of desperate? And stalkerish?” Carden asked.
Josh gave him a look. Carden really didn’t know what he was trying to say with that look. “Let me ask you something. Did you give this guy your number?”
Carden shook his head.
“Your last name?”
Carden shook his head again.
“Your email? Or social media handle?”
Carden shook his head once more. By now he knew where this was going.
“So, he has no means whatsoever to contact you if he should feel the same way about you. And I mean…the man would have to be blind and deaf and stupid on top of that to not want to hook up with you again.”
“I could be a horrible person,” Carden said.
Josh grinned. “Doesn’t matter for a hookup; if you were a mean motherfucker, then one could just gag you and have fun anyway.”
“Oh my god,” Carden said, trying hard not to laugh.
“What I was trying to say before—” he waved his hand as if to indicate that quick detour to kinky land, “if you want to see this guy again, it’s on you, because you know who he is and you know how to reach him.
I mean, his band surely has a website or something, right?
There's no telling if he will read your message, but it’s worth the shot. ”
“You know what, you’re right, Josh. It is on me,” Carden said and finished his drink.
“And if that guy is actually blind, stupid, and deaf, here is my number, so you can call me for a rebound. I mean, I am not blind, deaf, or stupid, so I would definitely take you out to dinner first and show you a good time afterward in my bedroom. Or your bedroom, or the kitchen.”
“Your secret dungeon full of fun and scary toys?” Carden interrupted.
Josh laughed. “I actually don’t have a dungeon, Carden.”
“But fun and scary toys?” Carden asked. It wasn’t that he was inclined this way, but he knew enough about these things because of Adam.
Adam had shown him pics of cock cages because he couldn’t decide if he should get one for his lover.
He couldn’t ask Chris, his other fucking lover, because it was meant as a surprise, and when Carden had told him he had no idea what even made a good cock cage, material or what, Adam had said he had that part covered; he wanted an opinion on the aesthetics.
He fucking loved Adam like a brother, so he helped him out, but he wasn’t keen on doing it again.
All that stuff just wasn’t for him.
Josh looked him in the eyes. “Yeah, I have a few, but I would only use the fun ones on you.”
“Fun for you or fun for me?” Carden asked. He just couldn’t help himself.
“Fun for us both,” Josh said, solemnly.
“I like you, Josh,” Carden said.
“But you’re still going to try and hook up with that singer that is amazing in bed,” Josh sighed.
“Yeah, but don’t lose my number. I think we could be amazing friends, and I do know Sebastian Winter.”
Josh grinned.