Chapter Four Marius
“Marius, there is a very strange comment on our blog,” Armin said.
Marius looked up from the notepad he had been doodling on. He was writing a song, and he knew it was about Carden, because every single fucking thing had been about Carden lately.
“Are we famous enough for crazy fans?” Bennett asked.
“It’s not crazy, I don’t think,” Armin replied and then shoved his tablet at Marius. “It’s from a guy named Carden.”
Marius’ heart did that thing it did when he was thinking about Carden. That stupidly dangerous thing he didn’t really want to put a name to. He grabbed the tablet. It was a short message, very to the point. Carden had left a link to his social media, with the invitation to DM him.
“You look like Christmas came early,” Armin said, grinning.
Bennett looked over Carden’s shoulder. “Wait, is that the dude you can’t shut up about? The one you didn’t ask for his number? Which was such a gross oversight on your part.”
“Yeah.” Marius had the irrational urge to clutch the tablet to his chest like a pillow or a beloved stuffed animal. He refrained because that would look strange, and his band would tease him endlessly about it.
“Well, PM him then,” Armin said like that was the easiest thing in the world.
“PM him?” Marius asked, like an idiot. He felt like one. Like a lovesick fool. Although this could not be called love. He hooked up once with this pretty boy. Only once; they haven’t even talked that much. This was at best infatuation.
Bennett and Armin gave him duh looks. He felt kind of judged. “Yes, he reached out, so…he must want something from you.”
Marius frowned. He guessed that was true.
Carden reached out, so yes, he wanted something, but Marius had no idea what.
Yes, the sex had been great. Their chemistry had been off the fucking charts, but it was not like they knew anything about each other.
The thing was that Marius wanted to change that.
He wanted to know everything about Carden, and now that he had his social media links, he could at least check him out. See what he liked to post about.
“Don’t talk yourself out of it just yet,” Armin said, sitting next to Marius on the sofa.
“We’re not even in the same city right now,” Marius said.
“Yes, that is what phones are for. You can write emails or PM or even, gasp, shock, call,” Bennett said, dryly.
“I don’t feel like the sarcasm was needed,” Marius huffed.
“We feel differently about that then,” Bennett replied. “Anyhow. Just PM that guy. It would be such a douchy move to not get in contact after he had the courage to do this. For all the world and fans to see.”
Fuck, Bennett was right. Carden had been courageous. Marius wasn’t sure if he would have had the guts to contact a rock star out of the blue.
“Even if you don’t want to talk to him, it would be at least the decent thing to do to tell him that you are not interested in a repeat of whatever you did last time,” Armin added.
Marius was interested. He was so interested it wasn’t even funny anymore, and his band knew it too.
He just didn’t know why someone like Carden would want to hook up again.
Marius was well aware that he wasn’t the poster boy for Pretty Rockstar.
He was chubby and used to be fat; he used to be bullied for that.
And for being gay too. This band, the success, it was kind of a revenge story he was writing as he went along.
Would he ever say those words out loud? Probably not.
Maybe thinly veiled in a song, but never in an interview or to a fan directly.
He had a pretty face, and he looked really fucking good once a makeup and hair person got their hands on him.
Once a stylist made him look badass, but he didn’t look like a magazine cover all the time.
Most of the time he actually did not. Since the band took off, his self-esteem took off as well, but that fat boy still lived inside him, and he could not shake him, could not kill him.
He didn’t think he was ugly and worthless anymore on most days. Thousands of adoring fans could do that to someone’s ego, but still, he knew that Carden, pretty, otherworldly Carden, could have fucking anyone. He had seen the looks Carden had gotten in that club that night.
There was only one way to find out what Carden wanted or if they could be anything at all. Marius just had to grow a pair and reply to that message.
“Yeah, okay,” Marius said.
“Yeah, okay?” Owen asked with a curl to his lips.
“Yeah, okay,” Marius repeated.
“I assume that means you’re going to DM that hot guy?” Armin asked.
“Yeah,” Marius answered. His fingers were already sweaty. Fuck. Why did it matter so much to him? What was it about this boy? It couldn't only be the sex. He had great sex before. But there was something about him. A pull, and Marius wanted to follow that pull. See where it would lead him.
“Good for you,” Bennett said.
It was good for Marius. He handed the tablet back and then went to grab his own. It was time to get something started. Maybe something amazing. Hopefully something amazing.
◆◆◆
He stared at the tablet for twenty minutes thinking about what to write and then settled on ‘ Hi, this is Marius. ’ It wasn’t poetry or anything, but it got the message across.
He waited for five minutes for a reply and then gave up.
It was the middle of the day. Maybe Carden had work; maybe he was at school where he couldn’t get to his phone.
The truth was that Marius didn’t know the first thing about Carden.
Just because he didn’t answer right away didn’t mean anything.
Marius made himself put the tablet aside and left his room. He was now playing the waiting game. He kind of hated the waiting game.
Armin and Bennett looked up from the TV when he wandered in. Owen was nowhere to be found.
“You did it?” Armin asked.
Marius nodded.
“No reply yet?” Bennett wanted to know.
Marius shook his head.
Armin and Bennett exchanged a look. It was some freaky sibling thing. Marius was an only child, so he had no reference points for this.
“We should go out and do something. I mean, our show isn’t for another few hours, and yes, we could sit around the hotel all day long and play video games or some shit, but we could also just go out.
Not be a stereotype. Besides, with how things are going lately, who knows how long we’ll be able to just leave our hotel room without security,” Bennett said.
“Grab a coffee, some pastries, some books, and some clothes.”
“Go to a museum or park or botanical garden,” Bennett cut his brother off.
“Watch a movie? We haven’t been to the movies in ages,” Armin added.
“Okay,” Marius said.
“Okay? Okay, to what?”
“All of it?” Marius asked.
Armin grinned. “Yeah, we’re not gonna have enough time for that, but we could start with some food and some sunshine.”
“The botanical garden it is then. Chances that we will be recognized there aren’t very high,” Bennett said, already typing on his phone.
Marius let the brothers do their thing.
Bennett looked up from his phone a few minutes later and then at them. “What about Owen?”
“Let the guy sleep. He felt a bit shitty when he woke up this morning,” Armin answered. That would explain where their fourth member went. To his room.
“What if he wants to come with and smell the flowers?” Bennett asked.
“Ask him then.”
“You ask him,” Bennett told his brother.
Armin gave him a look and crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s so fucking grumpy when you wake him up.”
Bennett nodded.
They both looked at Marius.
Marius sighed. “Fine. I’ll ask him, but if he bites my head off, you will have to tell the lovely Carden about it so he doesn’t think I ghosted him.”
“Lovely, yeah?” Bennett asked.
Marius turned and walked to the adjoining bedroom. He took a breath and then walked in. Owen was tangled up in the sheets and looked dead to the world. Marius really didn’t think he wanted to be woken up just so he could smell the roses, as Bennett put it.
He shook Owen awake anyway. Owen blinked at him, asked what time it was, and then, when Marius told him, he told Marius to fuck off and leave him be.
So, Marius made his way out of the room as quietly as possible. Close the door for good measure too. Would put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it later.
“And?” Armin asked.
“He told me to fuck off but wished us a good time,” Marius replied.
Bennett laughed.
◆◆◆
They had lunch at a nice restaurant and were only asked for a pic once, which Marius counted as a win. He was still getting used to being recognized on the streets. It felt a bit weird, but good too.
Bennett and Armin were all for it. They had always known they were meant to be famous and get out of their hellhole of a childhood home.
After lunch they wandered aimlessly through the botanical garden. It wasn’t in full bloom yet, but there was plenty to see anyway. Marius took what seemed like a million pictures.
The greenhouse was something else. It smelled like somewhere else too. He wanted to stay there forever. Wanted to bring Carden here and take pictures of him too among all those pretty flowers and lush greenery.
Marius could feel his tension and anxiety over the whole Carden thing drain away as they enjoyed their days, and then his phone pinged with a message. It was from Carden.
‘Hi, this is Carden. Glad you got in touch.’
Okay. He replied, so communications were open. There were a million things he wanted to ask Carden, but he didn’t want to scare Carden away. He might have taken too long to reply because his phone pinged again.
‘So, what are you up to?’
And that was easier.
‘ At the botanical garden. The greenhouse, to be precise.’
‘Send pics?’
‘Nudes?’
‘Aren’t all pics of plants nudes?’ Carden wrote.
Marius laughed. ‘I guess they are.’
‘Well then, send nudes of all the lovely flowers.’ Carden replied.
Well, that sounded kind of risqué, but Marius did it anyway. Smiling from ear to ear.