Chapter 36
Nathan
“ D amn, Dawn. You’re wearing the shit out of that suit.”
Cigar in her hand, Dawn takes a twirl, showing off her sharp, navy-blue three-piece suit tailored to hug her slim figure.
“I’m James’s best woman, I had to bring my A-game tonight.
” She sits down at my table and tosses a coaster on the barrel table before setting her drink down.
She’s even drinking like the boys tonight.
“How’d I do?” I ask.
“On the bachelor party? Phenomenal. On keeping your dad somewhat sober? Big fail.”
Dad’s loud laughter bellows from across the room. He discarded his suit jacket somewhere. His face is tomato red and sweaty. There’s ashes on his dress shirt from his latest cigar. He looks sloppy. And happy.
“When do the strippers get here?” Dawn asks.
Palm to the ceiling, I point at her. “Isn’t that why you’re here? Get back in your giant cake so I can roll you out for a proper grand entrance.”
She raises her hand like she’s about to backhand me. “Why, I oughtta,” she says through a girl-like giggle. Ah, Dawn’s drunk too. Everyone seems to be having a good time. Except me.
“Out of respect for Julia, there will be no dancers tonight. Just all of Dad’s favorite things—bourbon, cigars, and a lot of old rich bastards.” We golfed eighteen holes earlier this afternoon. Not my sport. I sat around in the golf cart with a beer, fighting the urge to text Spencer.
Another howl of laughter comes from my dad. I’m disturbed when I see the comedian causing his outburst. Casey. I really did like the guy until the charity event. Spencer’s into him. I can feel it.
“What’s wrong?” Dawn follows my gaze, trying to determine the sudden change in my demeanor.
“Casey’s objectively a good-looking guy, right?”
“If you find gargoyles attractive, I guess.”
“Someone’s claws are out. What’d he do to you?”
Dawn rolls her eyes. “Best to keep my mouth shut. He’s currently your dad’s favorite pet.” She grabs her glass and throws the rest of her drink back in one glug. She exhales with her mouth open, trying to soothe the burn.
“I’ve been dethroned,” I mutter.
Dawn’s lips curl into a sly smile. “You don’t make a good pet. You talk back too much.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” I pull two cigars out of my inside coat pocket before shrugging off my suit jacket. “Put that out.” I nod to her cigar. She douses it in a crystal ashtray before taking one of mine.
“What is this?”
“Gurkha Black Dragons. They cost over a grand apiece. I was saving one for Dad, but I can’t get him away from his puppy.”
Dawn runs the cigar under her nose. “His loss.”
I chuckle. “I brought more. It’s all I’m indulging in tonight.”
Dawn shoots me a sideways glance. “You’re not drinking?”
I shake my head. Before I know it, I’m glaring in Casey’s direction again. “I don’t trust my temper tonight. Alcohol won’t help things.”
“She told you.” Dawn exhales deeply.
“About Casey? Yeah. That’s why she dumped me. Something’s going on with them.”
Dawn screws up her face. “Between Spencer and Casey? Not a chance.” She hiccups once hard before pounding her chest with her palm. “Ah, fuck. One too many.”
“It’d make sense. He’s more her age. Less complicated.”
She blinks at me. “What are you talking about? Spencer loathes Casey. What did she tell you?”
I drag my hand over my face, exhaustion weighing me down.
This whole week has been a test of self-restraint.
I can get over her, but I need more time.
Maybe I’ll hide out in L.A. for another week.
“She told me he’s stirring old feelings up and asked if we could go back to being… nothing. Boss and assistant.”
Dawn’s eyelids drop to half-mast. She smacks herself in the cheeks repeatedly.
“What’re you doing?”
“Trying to sober up enough to see if I still want to do this.” She teeters her head back and forth. “Yup. Too late. Nathan, Casey is stirring up feelings for Spencer because he’s a traumatic trigger for her.”
“No, she told me she slept with him consensually.”
“And then he asked her to take naked pictures of herself for him. He and his dumbass football friends spread them around the entire campus with the word ‘cow’ painted on all of them. Thousands of students saw her butt-naked and made fun of her. Then she’s the one who got scolded by school administration for inappropriately interacting with boys.
If I were her mother, I would’ve taken those fuckers to court.
But her mom couldn’t even swoop in to protect her little girl because that very next week?—”
“She died,” I finish, a sudden nausea making my stomach spin.
“Five years ago isn’t that long. She’s still stuck in the worst moment of her life. Public humiliation does something to a woman. It twists her heart. Makes it so hard to trust again.”
I feel my heartbeat in my ears. The room goes silent as I will myself not to move.
Breathe through the anger, Nate. Just bottle it back up.
I know I can’t fix this. But I’m rageful with a deep-seeded fury that heats my body from the core.
Adrenaline courses through me, taking over my limbs, and pulling me from my body.
I’m out of my seat, Dawn’s empty glass in my hand.
Ignoring my better sense.
I’m across the room and my hand is around Casey’s neck, slamming him against the wall.
Everybody’s shouting at me, but I can’t hear the words. I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been so angry for so long. I want to choke the actual life out of him because whoever raised this piece of shit didn’t teach him there are consequences to his actions.
Now, I’m his consequence.
I smash the cup against the wall, an inch from his ear. He whimpers like a little bitch when he sees the blood run down my hand, not understanding that it’s mine.
“You’re fired,” I growl out, my face mere inches from his. “I don’t employ scum.”
I release his neck so he can breathe. “What’d she tell you?” he sputters out. “I didn’t do anything. My buddies took my phone. It was just a joke, man.”
“Even if I believed you, which I don’t, doing nothing is just as bad. Did you pound the shit out of your so-called buddies for violating a young woman that way? Did you help pull posters down? Did you check on her? Did you fucking apologize? Did you do any goddamn thing the way a real man would?”
“Nathan, let him go,” Dad says sternly.
I side-eye my dad, keeping Casey body-checked in place. I can’t believe this punk ever played football for a Division 1 school. He looks pathetic and puny in my eyes. “Dad, stay out of it.”
“Nate,” Dad pleads. “We’re all having a nice night. Don’t do this.”
“Tell my dad what you did to Spencer. Tell the whole room if you’re so proud of it.”
Casey clamps his jaws shut, unwilling to say a word.
“You want me to tell them?” I threaten.
He pulls in his lips. “I’m sorry, man. I’ll tell her that I’m truly sorry.”
I tighten my fist, wanting him to hear the loud crack of my knuckles.
“No, you’re going to stay the fuck away from her.
Forever. Leave the city. Leave the state.
I don’t care. If you ever speak to Spencer again, I will break you, Casey.
Starting with your face, then your wallet, your credit, your reputation, and anything else you give a shit about.
I will hurt you like you hurt her just to prove a point.
Don’t drive me to extremes, because I love to keep my promises. ”
“Fine,” Casey forces out. His cheeks are painted splotchy red. His embarrassment is only a small taste of what he did to Spencer, yet he seems like he’s going to break under the pressure. “James?” He looks to my dad for help the very moment I step back.
“Casey, I don’t know what’s going on, but my loyalty will always be to my son. And if you hurt someone he loves, my hands are tied. I think you should go.”
“And my job?”
“I don’t see how?—”
“Transfer him,” I interrupt Dad. The suggestion comes from fucking nowhere, I don’t even know why I’m doing it. I just do it. “You have up-and-coming projects in Orange County, right?” I ask Dad. “Assign him something else here. We’ll pay for your move, whatever you need,” I say to Casey.
Understandably so, Casey looks at me, his brows pulled with concern, trying to make sense of my confusing generosity. “Why the mercy?”
“I have no goddamn clue.” I turn around to address the room. “I’m sorry, everybody, for my outburst. Please, get back to the party. Drain this entire cellar, on me.”
Soon enough, a low rumble of chatter fills the space again. I look across the room at Dawn who stayed planted in her seat during the debacle. She gives me a subtle thumbs-up, her stamp of approval for avenging our girl.
Before heading to the exit, I pull my dad aside and try to offer my apologies for making a scene during his party. But he holds up his hands, stopping me.
“All this about a girl?”
“It’s not like?—”
“No, I hope it is, Nathan. You, flying off the handle, seeing red when someone wrongs the woman you’ve chosen to protect.” He pats my cheek. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“What?”
Dad grins, a bit drunkenly, but earnestly. “Falling in love again.”
“I don’t know if that’s what’s happening.”
“Something’s happening.” He shrugs with a boyish smile. He’s tipsy and wants to get back to acting silly, but I’m in no joking mood. I need to get out of his way.
“Goodnight, Dad. Have fun. No strippers ,” I say mock-sternly. “I promised Julia I’d keep you an honest man.”
He snorts. “All right, son. Let me leave you with one more thing.”
“What’s that?” I ask, anticipating a corny dad joke.
“The best part about falling in love a second time is you have the chance to fix past mistakes. If you could’ve done anything different with Elise, what would it have been?”
I take a moment to really think. Our relationship was picturesque in my mind.
I’d change all the pain Elise endured, but not anything about us.
All I’d want is more time. “I wish we would’ve gotten married sooner.
If she had to die, I wish she would’ve died as my wife.
I still want Claire to be with me. I should’ve made that happen while I had the chance. ”
Dad yanks me into a hug. The smell of liquor seeps from his pores as he pats my back. “Then don’t waste any more time, son. Go after what you want.”
The minute I’m outside, I suck in a deep breath of California night air.
This close to the water, I can almost taste the salty spray.
I don’t know why there’s still a ball of lead in my chest. I confronted Casey.
I solved the mystery of why Spencer panicked in the elevator.
I don’t think a man has ever treated her the way she deserves.
She’s been alone for so long, faking smiles.
Maybe I make things too real for her, the way she does for me.
Real is messy and hard, but it’s honest. And it’s the only way forward.
Maybe it’s time to lay all our secrets on the table, stop wasting time, and move forward together. I take out my phone to call her, but forgetting it was on silent, I’m met with messages from Spencer already.
Spencer
I don’t know how else to apologize.
Or the best way to tell you how I really feel.
But please know, this is me trusting you…
Then there’s a picture that stops my heart. I have to blink several times to absorb what’s in front of me.
She sent me a naked selfie .
Nothing’s covered. She’s offering me everything.
Her full tits, dark, thick nipples, the smooth, tan flesh of her thighs, it’s all a siren’s call, and I want to crash my fucking ship into this beautiful woman.
The only problem with this picture is that I can’t spin it around and admire the view from the back.
I need to see her.
Right now.
I locate the blackout sedan Byron rented when we got to L.A. I punch in the numeric code to unlock the door and find the keys sitting in the cupholder. Not allowing myself to think about how much I hate sitting in a car, I start the engine and drive.
I’m not wasting any more time.