Chapter 11 #2
“I don’t cheat,” Jennifer yelled from across the room. Her cackle after her denial was the dead giveaway that she was a liar, liar, pants on fire.
Jegguthiz turned to her, raising a brow. “I beg your pardon? You most certainly do cheat.”
“Fine,” Jennifer said with a grin. “If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” She waggled her finger at the Demon. “But you’re one to talk. You count cards, big guy!”
“Your point?” he demanded.
“No point,” she told him. “Just an observation.”
Jegguthiz stared at Jennifer with a perplexed expression. “I do have a query for you, though.”
“Shoot, Jegguthiz,” she said.
“How were you cheating? It was clear that you were, but I couldn’t quite figure out how.”
Jennifer laughed and threw her hands in the air. “Funny thing,” she said, leaning forward with an astonished expression on her face as if she was about to share how to solve the mystery of life. “Since my juju kicked in, I can see.”
“See?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Not sure how to explain it. Lemme demonstrate.” She stood up and grabbed a deck of cards. She tossed it to Jegguthiz. “Pick one. Don’t show it to me and I’ll tell you what it is.”
He did.
“Ten of spades.”
“Correct,” he stated.
Jennifer whooped with delight. “More,” she told him. “Draw another card.”
And he did. Six times. She got the card right each time.
“The way I look at it,” she said, pumping her small fists in the air, “is that I could smash it in Vegas at the card tables and work a side-gig as a magician.”
I laughed. She was nuts, but the gift could turn out to be useful. “What else can you see?”
She wrinkled her nose and thought about it for a bit.
“Welp, Heather is wearing a G-string. Yellow. My pappy’s magic starts in his stomach, then spreads like fireworks through his body.
It’s itchy, but feels wonderful at the same time.
Candy Vargo dreams of owning a ferret farm.
June is more Immortal than any of us realizes.
Daisy, you’re still fertile, so I’d suggest birth control unless you wanna give Alana Catherine a little brother or sister in the near future. Should I go on?”
The mouths of everyone mentioned, including my own, were hanging wide open.
“What the actual fuck?” Candy Vargo choked out. “I ain’t told no one about the ferret farm.”
“My G-string is yellow,” Heather confirmed.
“My magic is itchy yet glorious,” Tim announced, clapping his hands in delight for his daughter’s gift. “Amazing!”
“I’m not going to die?” June whispered.
I couldn’t tell if she was elated or horrified.
“Juney,” Jennifer said. “I don’t rightly know. But I do know you’re gonna live a lot longer than a regular human life span.”
I didn’t bring up her vision for me. Having another baby wasn’t on the list right now. Birth control apparently was…
Alana Catherine smiled at Jennifer. “You would smash it in Vegas,” she told her. “But I think your gift is meant for far bigger things.”
“Like what?” Jennifer asked.
Alana Catherine shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t see like you can, but it will reveal itself when it’s needed.
“Cool beans!” Jennifer said. “So, what the heck were we talking about before I jujued everyone?”
Jegguthiz answered. He turned to me and made his request for payment again. “I’d like to be Jennifer’s protection. Permanently.”
“Umm…” I wasn’t sure how to respond. It was Jennifer’s call ultimately. “Jennifer, how does that sound to you?”
“Fantastic,” she said with a thumbs up. “I think Jegguthiz is just the bee’s knees, even if he does cheat.”
“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” Jegguthiz cracked the first smile I’d seen from the Demon. Somehow, it made him even more terrifying. “Right?”
Jennifer nodded an affirmative, her own sly smile matching his. “Right.”
“Wait,” I said, trying to work out the timing. “When did you guys play cards?”
“Last night,” Jennifer said. “After everybody went to bed. All the Demons played and I kicked some ass! Won four-hundred-dollars and fifty cents!”
“And don’t you think that’s because you cheated with your gift?” Jegguthiz asked with a smirk.
“Hell to the no,” she shot back with a laugh. “Everyone was cheatin’. I just did it the best.”
“Ohhhh yes!” Tim added. “My daughter is a card shark. She makes her pappy proud.”
And the world got a little bit weirder. Whatever. The price was definitely right.
Kogzin stepped forward. He silently made eye contact with all of the guard Demons, other than Jegguthiz.
As his gaze met each of theirs, they nodded curtly.
I was aware that some kind of silent negotiation was happening.
I hoped it wasn’t a coup. I was really starting to like this bunch. It would suck to have to end them.
It was not a coup.
Not even close.
Kogzin’s gaze finally landed on me. “Angel of Mercy, we would like to continue our work, guarding the rightful Higher Power. It would give us a purpose that we could be proud of.”
My husband was a Demon—the Grim Reaper, to be more accurate. Normally, one would think that Demons were evil and Angels were the good guys. In my experience, that wasn’t remotely true. Kogzin’s words were a shining example.
“Not my decision to make,” I told him. “Although I’m very much in favor of the proposition. Alana Catherine? Shitty Ritchie?”
“Yes,” my daughter said. “I’m very happy to accept the offer.”
“And you, Shitty Ritchie? Thoughts?” I asked warily, not sure what he would say.
“I am in!” he shouted, doing a few celebratory jazz squares. “Do you think my guards would help me set up a Tinder profile?”
“Fuck, I hope not,” Candy Vargo muttered.
I agreed. “That isn’t their job,” I told the tiny dummy sternly. “Their job is to protect you. Period. We clear?”
“Sadly, yes,” he answered. “I shall endeavor to set up my own profile. How truthful are people on those sites? Should I fudge my height and let them know I was a former cannibal?”
“Okay, you know what,” I said, pressing the bridge of my nose and reminding myself that electrocuting the idiot would be mean. “We’re going to move on.”
“Excellent idea,” Heather said. “When would you like to begin the portrait, Jegguthiz?”
“No time like the present,” he answered. “I think the dining room would be an excellent backdrop. The colors and the symmetry speak to my heart. I feel quite giddy to paint in there. I can feel my artistic juices flowing!”
You could have blown me over with a feather. Ten minutes ago, the dude was scary. Now he was artsy and dare I add… cute.
“I tell you what, Jegguthiz,” Gram said, flying circles around the Demon. “I was right sad that them photos didn’t turn out, but you’ve made me as happy as a possum eatin’ sweet taters!”
Jegguthiz chuckled. “It is my pleasure, umm…”
“You call me Gram, boy,” she told him, much to his delight. “Everyone I like calls me Gram. And I like you!”
“As you wish, Gram,” he said with a smile so large it made me smile. “Follow me.”
Gram and Mr. Jackson floated with Jegguthiz out of the great room hand in hand. Plans were moving ahead, and everyone was feeling good.
“Back to planning the wedding details?” I asked everyone left in the room.
A resounding yes was my answer. I grinned and dove back into the nitty-gritty of making good on my promise to Gramps that I was going to throw them a wedding that was second to none.
Together, we were treasuring the wonderful moments as if they were precious gifts. One never knew when life might turn on a dime.
I knew a bad turn was coming. We all did. But we also knew how to make the most of a good thing when it was right in front of us.
And that’s what we did.