Chapter 39 #2
My eyes sting as they carry me to the ice.
“Sexuality is not something to be ashamed of. You decided to let loose and have a little fun with someone and look what happened? You made friends. You’re coming out of a shell you never belonged in.
You’ve got the entire hockey team ready to go to battle for you.
You think you’re the first user to send him spicy messages?
No. But you’ll be the first one to own it. ”
My heart thunders in my chest. “But…everyone…and those girls.” I glance behind us.
“You’re looking at this all wrong, Isla. Stop being a deer in headlights. And start a fucking trend for girls just like you to stop hiding in the shadows. To see what happens when they step into the light.”
I blink back tears.
She shakes her head, disappointment written all over her face. “Or you can hide. The choice is yours. But if you’re not doing it,” she gestures to my phone. “You need to tell him.”
I nod, my heart in my throat as I type. My thumbs flying over the keyboard.
Me: Kane, I’m sorry. I can’t do it.
His response comes fast, which makes my insides drop. He was waiting for Shadow.
Kane: Babe, you sneak your vibrator in here?
Me: What? No.
Kane: Then take back that apology.
Me: I’m being serious.
Kane: Baby don’t make me come find you. You have nothing to be sorry for.
Me: I know you don’t need me. I never believed in superstition, and I know you guys can win this without me.
I keep typing but his message comes through first.
Kane: Stop. I need you feeling safe and happy more than this win.
Kane: And who knows, might surprise you tonight.
Me: I wouldn’t be surprised. I love you. I believe in you. Always have.
There’s a minute before he writes back.
Kane: That’s all I need.
The lights dim. Spotlights sweep across the ice.
Around us, nearly everyone rises to their feet as the announcer’s voice booms through the arena.
I catch Fletcher frantically attacking his keyboard and working the jumbotron. “Slow down, I’m not a fucking sound engineer,” I hear him shout.
My heart drops.
It’s game time.
They’ve got this.
The Blackridge Falcons come flying out first. Then our colors hit the ice.
Maybe I’m imagining it, but they don’t seem weighed down tonight. Kane laughs at something Greyson says, and even from where I’m sitting, the energy on the ice feels different.
Number nineteen wins the opening faceoff and Hunter gets the puck down the ice before I can even follow how he did it.
Two minutes later the arena erupts as Kane sends it flying into the back of the net.
Blue flags whip through the air around us, and I jump to my feet, along with everyone else in our section.
Kane skates past us on his way back to center ice and almost like he can feel me watching him, he glances up. The smallest grin tugs at the corner of his mouth before he shoots me a quick wink.
My shoulders finally relax for what feels like the first time in days. Even when Cole ends up dropping his gloves five minutes later, the mood doesn’t shift. He tears off his helmet, sweat dripping down his pretty Clark Kent face, and he somehow manages to look bored by the whole thing.
“Move over.”
I look up to see Maddie sliding into the empty seat beside me with three hot chocolates balanced in her hands. She hands me and Tisch one each like it’s something we do all the time. Then immediately rolls her eyes toward the penalty box. “The ass just can’t control himself, can he?”
I follow her gaze to Leman, who’s grinning through a split lip like this is the highlight of his night.
“Why does he like to fight so much?” I ask.
“Dad says he doesn’t. It’s more a protective streak. He used to wrestle, apparently. But what pisses me off is that we need him out there, but he’d rather be a macho dick.”
“Tell us how you really feel, Mads,” Tisch mutters, taking a sip of her hot cocoa.
“I’m so excited to live with you ladies next semester. It’s going to be so fun.” She cheers, and my heart swells. She’s only a year younger than me and Tisch, but I can see her being like the kid sister I never had.
“Me too.” I take a sip of my hot chocolate. “You have no idea how much.”
“Oh, I heard you live with Chili and Olive. I’m a little bit of a slob, but I’m going to be a dream compared to them.”
“As long as you don’t smoke pot in the room or lock me out during a threesome. Maybe foursome?”
Her eyes widen. “They wouldn’t even let you watch? Treason.”
Tisch snorts and it’s suddenly easier to ignore the stares I feel behind my head. No one else scores in first period but we’re up by intermission.
By the time the second starts, we’re still looking strong. I barely notice the energy shift until the Falcons tie it. They came out after intermission looking faster than they have all night.
I shift in my seat, the tension picking up.
The Knights are suddenly chasing instead of controlling. Jackson misses a pass and Hunter gets visibly frustrated.
“Oh come on,” Coach growls from the bench.
The momentum we came in with changes and our boys don’t look as...comfortable anymore. Passes stop connecting and play is getting more aggressive. We keep losing players for two minutes at a time in the sin bin.
But Kane is everywhere, barely taking a breath, throwing himself across the line shot after shot. Every save earns another relieved cheer until one finally sneaks past Greyson. The goal horn erupts and the Falcons are on top.
“Move your damn feet,” Coach growls after another turnover.
Maddie flinches. “Oh I hate it when he takes that tone.” She cups her mouth. “Daddy, your blood pressure.”
He scowls back at her but I catch him taking a deep breath.
At the last intermission, the girl behind me pokes me again. “You still have time, Isla. Do it.”
“What?”
“They just went to the locker room. You can send it.”
“Isla, they need you.” A guy two rows up says, hearing the exchange.
“It’s a stupid superstition. Leave her alone,” Tisch snaps.
I swallow and she doesn’t miss my guilty look. “You don’t have to do anything.”
The pressure is too strong. I couldn’t do it now if I wanted to.
The app notifications blow up my phone but I ignore it the way I have been all night.
Maddie’s frantically on hers though, gasping and scrolling. “You might want to take a look at this.”
I take her phone tentatively and eye the messages flying in.
CandyKane: We need Shadow!
Here4Hockey: Shadow, you’re on.
SendYouLove: Anytime now, lucky charm.
TeamHunter: Let me know if you need some ideas. This girls’ got plenty
GreysGirl: Don’t let us down, Shadow.
KnightFan4ever: Fuck them and do you, Shadow.
KnighFan4ever: But also do it soon. We’re on the clock.
A shiver of adrenaline shoots through me. My hands suddenly shaking. I…what would I say?
My heart dips when the chants around us start.
“Shadow. Shadow. Shadow. Shadow.”
Maddie puts her hand on mine. “Hey.”
I look up at her warm eyes. Her friendly smile.
“You’re okay. You don’t have to do anything.”
I nod. Panic rapidly taking over. “I’m not hiding. I just…I don’t know what to say. Nothing’s coming.”
She smirks. “But you want to?”
“I think so,” I breathe.
My two friends squeeze my hands while I shut my eyes, trying to tune everyone out while I think of something. Anything.
“Isla?”
I open my eyes and look at Maddie.
“It’s too late, hun. You’re off the hook.”
“What?”
She turns to the ice. The Knights skate back on. “Intermission is over. Phones are in the locker room.”
My heart falls.
I hesitated. And in hockey, when you take too long to take your shot, you miss it.
I keep my eyes on Kane—whether I deserve to or not at this point. But he’s hard not to watch. He came in strong for third period. His confidence hasn’t faltered one bit. The rest seem to be catching up and I have a feeling there was a captain speech back there.