Chapter 20
I couldn’t believe my son walked in on me having sex with his father.
More than that, I couldn’t believe his father kept going like we hadn’t just been caught.
I couldn’t do shit but take it once we were alone again.
That man made it his mission to make me be as loud as possible, probably to spite Deuce.
It wasn’t long before my son was yelling at us from downstairs.
“That’s e-fucking-nough!”
Senior found the whole thing comical. He took his sweet time taking a shower and getting dressed before we headed downstairs together. I could hear Deuce on the phone, ranting.
“What do you mean it’s not that big of a deal, Grams?”
Senior laughed. “Boy, if you don’t get off my mama’s phone with your bullshit. Hang up and let us talk to you.”
“I’ll call you back, Grams.” He disconnected the call and glared at his father. “Didn’t I tell you to stay away from my mama?”
Senior chuckled as he took a seat on the couch. “Son, I’m your father. You don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” He pulled me down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Sit down.”
“Nah, I think Ima stand.” His eyes trained on me. “This what we doing, Ma? You really went back to him again?”
I sighed. “Deuce, I love you, and I don’t owe you an explanation, but I’ll give one because it’s my choice. I love your father. Always have, always will. Things just—”
“You loved him enough to be his side chick when he was with Maddie? Yeah, I clocked that years ago, even though you both denied it. Y’all don’t hide shit very well.
You forgot how long I’ve been around for this break up to make up shit.
I know the signs and y’all ain’t as slick as you think you are. ”
Senior shook his head. “Son, I love you, but frankly, I don’t give a shit what you know. I don’t owe you a fuck ass thing and I don’t need to hide shit from a nigga that used to swim in my balls.”
I elbowed him. “Stanley.”
“What? Deuce might run his household, and that’s a big might because we know Salima has him by the nuts, but he ain’t running shit over here. Not where you and I are concerned.”
“Watch out, Ma,” Deuce said, pulling at the waist of his sweats.
“Absolutely the fuck not!”
Senior slid me to the couch and stood to his feet.
“Nah, my love. Your son seems like he’s got some shit to get up off his chest.” He pulled at his own sweats as he stood toe to toe his firstborn. “Whatchu’ got to say, Junior? Better yet, whatchu’ wanna do?”
Deuce chuckled. “I’m really trying not to put my hands on you, old man.”
Senior shoved him hard, and I could tell my son was practicing restraint.
“The day you jump stupid and put your hands on me is the day I beat you like a nigga on the fucking street. I promise you, the safest thing for you to do is keep them hands to yourself. I’d hate to beat your ass in front of your mama, my boy.”
“Will you two stop it?” I pleaded. “This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. This is why I didn’t tell you.”
Deuce’s head snapped in my direction. “You knew how I felt about this shit, Ma. You really think he’s gonna commit this time? After all these years, you think he’s finally ready to sit his ass down and be the man you deserve? Cause I don’t.”
“Good thing it’s not up to you,” Senior said.
Deuce’s head snapped in his direction. “Pop, respectfully, don’t say shit else to me, bruh. You know my issue with you when it comes to my mama. You ain’t finna keep putting everything over her. If that’s the woman you claim to love so fucking much, you’d act like it.”
Senior grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him into his space.
“Senior!” I yelled.
I started toward them, but he held up a hand to silence me. I crossed my arms as the two men I loved most stared at each other. Deuce’s fists we clutched at his side so hard that his knuckles were white.
“Let me tell you something boy,” Senior said, firmly.
“I love your mama. I’ve loved her since I was a jit.
Next to you, your siblings and my grandbabies, she is the most important person in my life.
You may think I put things over her and, in a sense, I did.
I’m man enough to own up to that. But I have never mistreated her.
Never raised my voice at her or put my hands on her.
If I’m guilty of anything, it’s not doing what the fuck I needed to keep her when I had her. ”
Deuce grabbed his hands and shoved them away. “And what’s the difference now, Senior? My whole life I watched you pick my mama up when you felt like it.”
“That’s not true, Stanley,” I defended. “You don’t think I was out here doing me? I wasn’t out here waiting on this man. He didn’t leave me. I left your father every single time.”
“That doesn’t make it any better. You always left the door open for him to come back.
You don’t think you deserved more than being second?
First it was streets. Then the organization.
In between both, it was Allison, then Tavia, then Maddie.
It’s never been just you, Ma. He’s had his pick of women my whole life.
The only man proven to deserve you was Aaron—”
I laughed, and I mean from a good, hearty place.
“Are you serious right now, Stanley? You don’t know who was deserving of me. Have you forgotten how many men you’ve run off over the years?”
He pointed at me. “I ran off niggas that were beneath you. You think I didn’t have background checks and phone taps on any man trying to run game on you?
Let’s see, three of them were secretly married, two had past charges because they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, one was a registered sex offender.
Let’s not talk about the number that only wanted to sleep with you or use as a connection to the family.
I protected you from heartache and me from having to put a nigga on his back for playing in your face. ”
I was quiet as he revealed information I wasn’t privy to about men in my past. Thinking back, I remembered all the times I’d been ghosted or all the times where men I’d spoken to had crossed the street when they saw me out in public.
I guess now I knew the real reason why those relationships had never gone anywhere.
Deuce pointed at his father. “This is the only one I couldn’t seem to keep you away from. I don’t care if the nigga loves you. He doesn’t deserve you, point blank.”
Senior shook his head. “You don’t think I know your mama deserved better than me? I know that shit, Deuce.”
“Then why the fuck you keep chasing her!”
“For the same reason you wouldn’t let Salima break up with you.
For the same reason you showed up in that girl’s apartment while she was asleep after she told you she needed space.
For the same reason you rush to make it home after every mission.
I love her and I’ve always loved her. Time ain’t changed shit about that.
I’m not the same man I was, and you know that. You just don’t want to see it.
“And you know what, that’s fine. That’s your mama, and I taught you to protect the women in your life.
Here’s the thing though, son. She doesn’t need your protection from me, and we don’t need your approval to be together.
You can be mad as fuck but be mad knowing that at the end of this, I ain’t going anywhere.
When it’s all said and done, that woman is gonna be my wife and we are gonna be on this compound like Barney and his fucking friends with y’all and these grandbabies.
Either you can get with that or I can whip your ass, and we can beef about it for the rest of our lives. The choice is yours, son.”
Deuce glared at him with a hardened expression. His gaze drifted to me, and he chuckled. Raising his hands in surrender, he backed away to the door.
“Y’all got this shit,” he said, opening it. “I don’t have anything else to say about it. I’ma sit back and watch the mistake be made. When it blows up, I don’t have shit for tears or apologies. That’s on y’all.”
“Deuce,” I said, my voice shaking as he went to walk out the door.
He turned back to me.
“Don’t be like this.”
“I’m not being like anything, Ma. Ima act accordingly and acting accordingly means minding my business. I’m leaving for a mission in a bit, but I love you.”
He paused for a moment before coming over to hug me and kiss my cheek.
“I’ll see y’all around.”
He didn’t even look at his father as he walked out the door. I couldn’t lie and say that my feelings weren’t a little hurt. I knew he would have something to say when we came clean, but this… this felt like the beginning of a rift, and I didn’t like that.