Chapter Fourteen
Flowers are for Admiring. Not Drinking.
I’m going on a date with Rowan. Excited, I shot out of bed and grabbed my boots, shoving one foot inside, then the other.
“Where are you taking him?” Lake placed the whittling knife on the table and stood.
“Out,” Rowan answered.
Lake bared his teeth. “Give me more details than that, thief. Evan means more to me than anything in this world, and I’ll be damned if you—”
“Oh, relax, Daddy Wolf,” Rowan said with a flippant wave of his hand. “I’ll bring your precious boy back to you safe and sound.” That snaggletooth appeared. “I’ll take real good care of him. I promise.”
Warmth pooled in my belly. Did he mean what I think he did?
The purple in Lake’s eyes glowed brighter as he glared at Rowan. “You intend to bed him.”
“Aye. I do.” Rowan’s smirk blossomed into a full-blown cocky grin. “If you weren’t serious about stabbing me before, I’m sure you are now.”
“I have no desire to hurt you. Right now, anyway. If you hurt Evan though, that’ll change.” Lake stepped over to his knapsack, withdrew something, and handed it to him. “Take this before you leave.”
“What is it?” Rowan held up a glass vial and moved it from side to side, scrutinizing the liquid contents.
Very familiar contents.
“Oh my god,” I said as realization slammed into me. “That’s the nasty flower juice.”
“The what?” Rowan asked.
But I couldn’t respond. Emotion welled up behind my eyes, and an achy pressure squeezed my throat.
Briar had suspected I’d have sex with Rowan and planned ahead for it. He and Maddox had told me they were okay if I wanted to be with Rowan, but seeing the proof of that acceptance nearly sent me into a crying fit.
“It’s a tonic that rids the body of disease,” Lake explained. “And it’s nonnegotiable if you wish to be with Evan. It’s for his protection, as well as for the rest of us.”
“Nonnegotiable?” Rowan uncorked the vial and sniffed. “Smells revolting.”
“Believe me,” I said, fastening the cloak around my shoulders. “The taste matches the smell.”
“Lovely.” Rowan made a face. “What if this is a poison meant to kill me? My death would knock a player off the board.”
“The board is big enough for all of us,” Lake told him, making my heart flutter. “Evan wants you in his life, and the three of us support him. Killing you would make him cry.”
“Doesn’t take much to do that,” Rowan muttered, then sighed. “Fine. I’ll drink the silly tonic.” He downed it in one gulp and cringed. “Why’s it so bitter? I need rum to wash out the taste.”
Lake flashed a devious smile.
Realizing what happened, I bit back a laugh. Briar had added honey to ours when we’d taken it to help with the taste, but it wasn’t a necessary ingredient for the tonic to be effective. He must’ve given Rowan the full dose of floral nastiness without anything to sweeten the bitterness.
I bounced over to Lake and buried myself against his chest. His arms came around me, and he pressed his face into my hair.
“Be safe,” he whispered.
“I will.” As excited as I was to go with Rowan, it made me sad to leave Lake behind. So I held on to him a little longer. A bit tighter. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” He nuzzled me as a sound built in his throat, like a whine but softer. “If you need me, say my name.”
“I’ll always need you.”
He smiled against my temple before pulling away. “I’ll be here when you return. Now, go.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Wolf.”
When he rewarded me with another smile, any nerves I had dissipated.
“Ready yet?” Rowan lounged against the windowsill, arms crossed and expression bored.
“Yep.” I approached him. “I take it you’ll be grabbing me like last time and jumping from the—”
Rowan grabbed me and jumped from the window.
The scream caught in my throat as we fell. He then scaled the wall of the inn and dashed across the roof with me on his back. Chilly air nipped at my cheeks, and I pushed my face into the back of his neck.
He shuddered.
“Cold?” I asked.
“No.” He slowed his pace as he glanced back at me. “I’m on fire.”
The heat of his gaze struck me to my core, turning my blood to liquid flames.
“Are you taking me somewhere private so you can have your wicked way with me?” I teased. Hoped, really.
“Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”
“Have you met me? Patience isn’t really my thing.”
Rowan chuckled. “Stop talking. You’re distracting me. Unless you want me to drop you?”
“Don’t you dare.” I clung on tighter and squeezed his torso with my legs.
“You’re strong for such a little thing.” He slapped my left thigh. “Are these made of steel?”
“I’m not that much smaller than you. But if you wanna know the secret to my incredible strength…” I moved my mouth to his ear and whispered, “Holding on for dear life as a sexy thief steals me away.”
He chuckled again and stumbled.
I screeched and held on tighter.
“I think you’re going to constrict me to death,” Rowan said through his laughs. “There are worse ways to meet my end, I reckon. Death by your thighs will at least send me into the afterlife with a smile on my face. And a hard swell in the front of my trousers.”
I giggled so hard I snorted.
No longer in fear for my life, I relaxed my hold and looked at the sky. Thin clouds streaked across the moon, though light bled through them, joining the twinkling of the stars. As Rowan dashed from one building to the next, his scent of black cardamom joined the crispness in the air. I snuggled into his nape and breathed him in.
“That tickles,” he said.
“Sorry.” I made no effort to move. “You just smell good. I can’t get enough.”
Rowan’s breathing slightly elevated. That also could’ve been because he was leaping across rooftops. He had amazing stamina. I would’ve been dead by now. My gaze dropped to his feet.
Black swirled around his boots.
“Um. Rowan? What’s that?”
“Shadows,” he answered.
“Cool. Cool.” I watched the swirling intensify and crawl higher up his legs. “But what are they doing? More importantly, do they plan to eat me?”
“They’re not going to hurt you,” he said, amused. “You should be thankful for them. They allow me to fly.”
“Fly?”
“That’s what it feels like, doesn’t it?” Rowan reached the end of the roof and swung down to grab hold of the ledge. “I guess it’s not really flying. I can’t stay in the air for long periods of time. But the shadows help me feel weightless and increase the range of my jumps.”
So that explained how he could carry me so easily despite us both being on the smaller side.
“What else can they do?” I asked, squeezing my eyes shut as he crawled down the side of the building. Heights were definitely not my favorite thing.
“Crush bones.”
“The Bone Crusher.” I smiled. “Your ultra-powerful superhero move.”
“As I said before, I’m no hero. Far from it. Your men were right about that. I do act with my own interests in mind. I’m selfish.”
We reached the ground, and he shifted me off his back but kept hold of me until I found my footing. An act of kindness that contradicted his words. He could say he was this horrible and selfish villain, but I didn’t believe it. Not for a second.
“Can you manage to walk without killing yourself?” He nodded toward a coverage of trees.
“Do you hear that?” I curved my hand around my ear. “Some of your woo points fluttering away in the breeze.”
Rowan gave me a toothy grin before grabbing my hand. “I’ll get them back.”
I linked our fingers and walked with him toward the woods. A dirt path snaked through them, making the nightly stroll easier. No thorn bushes out for blood or vines snagging our legs. It was kind of relaxing, actually. I didn’t fear the dark when he was with me.
“You never answered my question,” I said, peering up at an opening between the trees where moonlight streamed through.
“Which one? You’ve asked a thousand.”
I scoffed. “It hasn’t been that many. Other than using shadows, what else can you do? When we met, you knocked me out with some kind of magical dust.”
“That wasn’t magic. Simply the right blend of ingredients to incapacitate the target.”
“Ah. So like chemistry? Sounds like you and Briar would have fun talking about that kind of stuff.”
“I highly doubt it. Specs and I have nothing in common.” He looked down at our joined hands. “I can manipulate fire. Create it from nothing. I can also use the flames as a glamour and create small illusions.”
“Like when we stayed the night in the dark wood?” I asked. “You said something about the fire tricking the demons.”
He nodded. “The flames sent mana particles into the air that acted as a camouflage of sorts. Any demon nearby mistook us for one of them. Honestly, I can’t do much else. My main skill is with shadows. Using them to travel, lift things, crush things, and to mask my presence while I gain intel.”
“Spy.”
He cracked a smile. It seemed sad. “People fear me because of what I can do, but also for what I’ve yet to learn. Not all magic folk have the capacity for dark magic. It rots them from the inside out if they try. Those of us who do possess it can be… powerful.”
“How so?”
“Well, take the Bone Crusher, for instance.” His lips curved when saying the name I’d given it. “I can target up to four enemies right now, and then I can’t use it again until my mana restores. A powerful dark mage could target an entire army. Or do other things, like casting curses or other magical attacks. With the proper teacher, I could improve my craft and learn how to harness more mana to allow for stronger spells.”
“A teacher like Lord Onyx? Are you still wanting to get in his good graces?” That’d been the reason behind him wanting to capture Prince Sawyer—to use him as an offering for the demon lord.
“And if I say yes?”
I shrugged and looked ahead of us. “Onyx is at war with Bremloc. Many knights have lost their lives fighting his hordes of demons. We were attacked by them and almost died. By joining him, you’d…”
“Become your enemy?”
My gut twisted.
“See?” Rowan released my hand. “You may not see me as a villain, little treasure, but it’s exactly what I am. It’s what I’ll always be.”
“Hey.” I snatched his hand right back. “I wasn’t done holding you.”
Even in the dark, I saw the surprise in his eyes.
“As for what you said about the whole villain thing…” I stopped walking and turned to him. “Lord Onyx saved us that day in the dark wood. He could’ve let his demons rip us apart, but he chose to spare us instead.”
“Your point?”
“Maybe the concept of heroes and villains is a myth,” I said. “A person can’t be defined like that. We’re always evolving. Growing. What matters is the decisions we make each day.”
Rowan regarded me in silence.
“What?” I asked as the seconds ticked by. “Do I have something on my fac—”
His mouth crashed to mine. Standing in a forest with the scent of pine and earth all around us, his scent surged forward, hitting me the strongest. He tasted like spice, each swirl of his tongue on mine an explosion of heat.
“I was right,” Rowan murmured against my lips. “You’re going to destroy me.”
“I don’t want to destroy you.” I rested my forehead on his. “I want to love you.”
He released a shaky breath. “You can’t love me, little treasure. And I can’t love you either.”
“Why?” I touched the golden cuff holding his hair to the side before running my fingertips over the dark auburn strands. “Because you’re afraid?”
“Because I’ll hurt you,” he said in a broken voice, eyes pained. “You say what matters is the decisions we make, but all of mine are self-serving. One day, whether it’s today, tomorrow, or years from now, I’m afraid I’ll give in to my nature and do something I can’t ever take back.”
“One of those men will either love you… or kill you.”
Lupin’s prophecy rolled through my head as I held Rowan’s gaze. Our choices in life steered us down certain paths. And my path, it seemed, was charging straight toward the edge of a very steep cliff. What waited for me at the bottom of that cliff, cuddles or death, was a mystery for another day.
I pressed another kiss to Rowan’s lips. His mouth trembled against mine as he sank his fingers into the back of my hair.
Tonight, I chose to trust him.
***
“We’ve been walking for hours,” I whined as Rowan led me through the forest. “Ask the shadows to fly us the rest of the way.”
“It hasn’t been hours. More like thirty minutes.” He smirked. “I didn’t peg you for a lazy muffin.”
“I’m not lazy. I’m just selective with my energy output.” The ground began to elevate, and my steps grew more sluggish. “Are we going up a hill?”
“Up the mountain, actually.”
“You really want to kill me, don’t you?”
“Not even a little.” Rowan pulled me along with him. “You amuse me too much.”
“Glad I can be of service.”
When the incline steepened, he kept hold of me to ensure I didn’t trip. My gentleman thief. The trek had me breaking a sweat despite the chilly night, but I kept my whining to a minimum. I was happy to be with him. “Do you think we’ll find any gemstones up here? I’d love to bring one home to Briar.”
“Always thinking of your men, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. I am.” A pang hit my heart. “They’re everything to me. Guess that makes me a lovesick puppy, huh?”
“Oh, without a doubt. It’s sickeningly sweet.” Rowan helped me over a fallen log, then continued up the hill. “How does it work? You loving so many men. They don’t get jealous of each other?”
“Nope,” I answered, panting a bit. It was more exercise than I was used to. “Maddox and Briar love each other too.”
“That doesn’t make you jealous?”
“Not at all.” And I meant that with my whole heart. “I love seeing them together. Communication is key, I think. We talk about everything.”
“Did you talk about me?”
I nodded. “Several times. Mainly about my feelings for you and how they felt about it. Their only reservation was for my safety.” That pang returned. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to have them.”
Rowan’s brow scrunched as we moved farther up the never-ending hill. “The wolf didn’t seem bothered by me fucking you. I expected him to put up more of a fight. Now I see why he didn’t. He knew it’d happen.”
It was the reassurance I needed to embrace my feelings for Rowan. For only one night. For more than that.
For as long as he’d let me.
We walked for another ten minutes or so before the trees thinned and more moonlight showed through the branches. Then, we stepped from the forest and into a clearing.
“Here we are,” he said.
My jaw popped open. We stood beneath a starry sky surrounded by mountains. They rose all around us, some of them so high I couldn’t see the peaks. We’d reached the top of a gorge, somewhere in between the taller mountains.
“Is that a stream?” I asked, hearing the rush of running water. “I’m so thirsty I might even drink a vial of that nasty flower juice.”
“I’d rather die of thirst than drink another.”
I laughed.
Rowan’s eyes softened.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He looked away and guided me forward. “I just… I like your laugh.”
I couldn’t help but smile. The old Rowan wouldn’t have admitted such a thing. Little by little, he was opening up, showing me more of his hidden layers.
We rounded a corner and came upon the source of the sound. A small waterfall cascaded down one side of the mountain, filling a decent-sized pond that then flowed down the hill, creating another small waterfall. Beyond the pool, I saw a cave. Trees sprouted up on each side of it, like a little oasis hidden within the mountains.
“Wow,” I said, taking it all in. “It kind of reminds me of Rivendell.”
“Where’s that?” Rowan led me closer to the water.
“A place from a book,” I told him. “Elves live there.”
“Elves? They’re such pompous bastards.”
“Wait. Elves are real?”
He gave me a look I knew well—one I received all the time from my grumpy captain. The “Evan has lost his mind” expression. “Yes, they’re real.”
“Oh,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I’ve never met one.”
“Suppose you wouldn’t have if this is your first time leaving Bremloc. They mostly keep to their kingdom in the east, though some have been known to travel this way on occasion. They live for thousands of years and venture out when they get bored.”
A kingdom of elves. How freaking cool.
He knelt by the water and scooped some up in his hands, taking a sip before motioning to me. “Drink.”
I copied him and groaned as the water hit my tongue. It was so fresh and crisp. “This is the best water I’ve ever tasted. I don’t even care that an animal probably shit in it somewhere upstream.”
Rowan spewed his drink and wiped at his mouth, barely containing his laughs. He then cocked his head. “What? Why are you staring at me?”
“I like your laugh too.” I averted my gaze to the water. “And your smile.”
I was smitten with Rowan, plain and simple. The excitement when I saw him. The warmth that pooled low in my belly when we touched. The flutters when our eyes met and how I missed him when he wasn’t with me.
A waft of chilly air swept around us, and I drew my cloak closer.
“It’s colder up here in the mountains.” He stood and grabbed my hand. “Let’s get you warm.”
He led me toward the cave. The rush of the waterfall lessened as we walked but added a nice background noise. Soothing. His hand in mine was soothing too.
The cave wasn’t what I’d expected. It wasn’t dark or cold, with bats flying around and shitting on everything. A fire burned low in a pit, casting light on the walls. A bedroll lay near the fire with a small pillow and blanket. There was also a medium-sized pot, a stirring spoon, and what looked like beef jerky hanging on a small rack made from sticks.
“Is this where you’ve been staying?” I asked.
“Aye. It’s not a fancy room in an inn like yours, but it’s home for now.” Rowan guided me closer to the fire and instructed me to sit on the blanket. I did. “Sorry if it’s not up to your standards, Your Highness.”
“I didn’t say that.” I brought my knees up and wrapped my arms around them, watching as he stoked the logs in the pit and added a new one. “It just seems lonely.”
“I like being alone.”
“Alone and lonely are different,” I said. “Lake lived alone for years, never talking to anyone. He didn’t feel lonely because it was all he knew. Then, I barged into his quiet world, and I guess he realized he didn’t like it so quiet after all.”
Rowan stared at the fire. “You certainly have that effect on people.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Yes. Very bad. In fact, it’s the worst.”
“Oh.” My heart squeezed. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” He stoked the fire once more before sitting beside me on the bedroll, bringing his knees up to match my pose. “Because I don’t think I like my world as quiet anymore now either.”
Some of that weight lifted from my chest. “Then I guess you should stick around after this trip and come back with me to Bremloc.”
A trace of a smile touched his mouth. “You call me a thief, but it’s you who’s stolen from me.”
“What did I steal?”
“My sanity, mostly.”
I snorted.
Rowan’s eyes did that thing again—the dark gold irises warming with his softening expression. “I can’t say where the future will take me, little treasure. Bremloc or some other city. But right now, in this moment?” He grabbed the side of my neck and glided his lips along the curve of my jaw. “I want to lose myself in you.”
“I…” My breath shook. “I want that too.”
His mouth brushed mine before connecting. The contact was like a hard knock to my ribs, a quake I felt in my core. As we kissed, he pushed against my chest to move me to my back and straddled my hips. Being straddled like this was… new. His ass rubbed against my groin, eliciting a small moan from my lips.
“Oh, I reckon this is a good time to tell you.” Rowan gave me a lopsided smile. “I prefer to receive rather than give.”
Holy crap.
He was a bottom.