Chapter 4 #2
“I’m not dating anyone until my year is up.”
“Your self-imposed year of celibacy is to punish yourself for what exactly? It made so much sense to me that I forgot your explanation.”
“It’s not punishment.”
“Oh, yes, it is! How long were you locked up? I don’t know if you were gay for the stay, and I don’t care.
However, I definitely know that you’re interested in men now that you’re out in the real world.
There are plenty of dicks for you to choose from.
You don’t even have to like the guy on a personal level, Serana. That just makes things complicated.”
“Gay for the stay?”
“Don’t tell me that’s the first time you’ve ever heard that.”
“It’s not, but it’s the first time that anyone’s ever accused me of using someone for sex!”
“Why is that a problem if it’s a mutual agreement?”
“I could never make an agreement like that,” I said firmly.
“Are you the kind of person that believes that sex equates to love?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. Love is what makes the world go ‘round. No doubt about it. That’s just not my way.”
“I don’t get it. How can it not be your way if you agree that’s what makes the world go ‘round?”
“Love, well, most of the time, is what makes people procreate, which I’d like to do someday, but that day is not today or tomorrow. Hell, it’s probably not even next year. When that urge hits, I’ll open my heart to alternate possibilities.”
“Alternate possibilities?”
“You know.”
Taylor looked so uncomfortable that I couldn’t resist pushing her, so I insisted, “No, I don’t know. Explain it.”
The expression on her face changed so drastically that it was hard not to laugh. She looked like she’d just smelled something bad before she choked out, “A permanent monogamous arrangement.”
“A what?”
Taylor sighed before she said, “A relationship, smartass.”
“Did that hurt?”
“So much,” she said with a groan as she pulled into the parking lot. She shuddered before she said, “Whatever you want to call it, it’s definitely not going to happen to me anytime soon.”
“You know the saying about best laid plans, right?”
“I do, but mine are set in stone, covered in concrete that’s been reinforced with rebar, and surrounded by a moat filled with alligators.”
“You’re a nut!”
“No, I’m a free woman with a healthy libido.”
As Taylor pulled to a stop at the entrance, I waved at Roscoe and then grinned at my friend. “I’ll see you in two hours.”
“Enjoy your date.”
“Kiss my ass!”
I was halfway out of the car when I replied to Taylor, and Roscoe was laughing as I walked his way.
“Are you and Taylor bickering again?”
“She’s so fun to mess with!”
“Good to see you. What’s on the menu for this week?
” Roscoe asked as we walked into the store together.
After I told him what I had planned, he said, “I’m going to try some new recipes, and two of them call for a pie crust. Would you be willing to come over and give me a lesson on how to make that from scratch? ”
“You don’t know how to make pie crust?”
“Not unless I’m pulling it out of a box and pulling the plastic off of it.”
“Oh, wow. You’ve got so much to learn.”
◆◆◆
“Thank you for picking me up,” I said as I got into Roscoe’s truck. “When we’re finished this evening, I can call Taylor to come get me.”
“No need. I’ll bring you back. It’s the least I can do since you’re coming over to help me.”
“Are you not going to ask why I don’t have a car or don’t just borrow one of my friends’ vehicles?”
“There could be any number of reasons. You’re saving up to buy one. Yours is broken, and you’re saving up for repairs. You’re such a horrible driver that your friends aren’t comfortable loaning you their cars. Or, better yet, it could be a mixture of those last two.”
“You didn’t touch on the option that I may not have a license.”
“That’s a possibility too,” Roscoe agreed.
I decided that honesty was the best way to go.
Even though I’d spent a few hours every Sunday with Roscoe, it was always in a crowded store where talking about my past didn’t make sense.
We’d texted back and forth every day since exchanging numbers, but those were usually the “how’s your day?
” check-ins along with plenty of GIFs and memes.
We really didn’t know much about each other, besides the basics, unless he’d gotten curious and googled my name.
“Do you know why I live at The Flower Patch?” I asked.
“I assume it’s for the same reason that the rest of the women live there.”
“And that is?” I asked, trying to get him to say it so I didn’t have to.
So far, I hadn’t told anyone other than the women around me why I’d gone to prison.
I found it was much more difficult than I could have imagined to say the words aloud to Roscoe.
I would hate for him to look at me differently.
It had to happen, though. If we were going to become friends or something more than that down the road, he would have to know at least some of my history.
“You’ve been in prison and are recovering from some form of addiction.”
“You do know,” I said softly.
“It’s not a secret what Zoey’s doing out there,” Roscoe said.
He laughed softly before he said, “I’ve known her since she was a kid.
Our parents are great friends. Some of my partners even volunteer at The Flower Patch alongside Marla.
Marla runs New Horizons Apartments with her mom, Kari, who also happens to be great friends with my dads. ”
“Your dads?”
“We really don’t know much about each other at all, do we?”
“I guess not.”
“Since we’re friends, we should learn details like that, and if someday you decide that you want to be more than friends, we’ll have the basics out of the way.”
“More than friends?”
“Unless you’re completely oblivious, you have to know that I’m interested in you.
I asked you out to dinner the first time we shopped together, and you just ignored me and changed the subject.
I asked you again, and you said you had plans.
That’s when I realized you weren’t interested in anything more than friendship, and I’m okay with that if that’s all you’re willing to offer. ”
“You are?”
“I like you, Serana. I think you’re beautiful inside and out. If being your friend is all I can get, I’m willing to accept that because I’ll do pretty much anything to be around you.”
“I have a history that’s not exactly wonderful, Roscoe.”
“All of us have a history that’s filled with great things and not so great things.
It’s filled with happy things and horrible things.
A mixture of both is what makes people who they are; they either become stronger because of what they’ve experienced or crumble under the pressure.
Obviously, you’re stronger for what you’ve been through.
I’m sure of that because Zoey believes in you enough to trust you to be part of her program, and Janis trusts you to work beside her.
Neither of those women can abide weakness and they hate liars; since both of them like you, that says more to me than you can imagine. ”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“I’m not ready to date, Roscoe. I’m sorry, but . . .”
“Don’t apologize for doing what’s best for you, Serana. Obviously, I’m content to take what you’re willing to give. Even if we never become more than friends, my life still will have been better just by having you in it.”
I blinked furiously to hold back the tears that were burning my eyes and was finally able to ask, “Do you know why I went to prison?”
“I don’t, but when you’re ready, I’m sure you’ll tell me.”