Chapter 10 #2
“Jewel and Petra’s glossolalia appeared before either of them reached puberty. It expanded over time until they were able to have entire conversations that are unintelligible to any of the programs that I’ve run the recordings through.”
When Dixie looked confused, Spruce explained, “Jewel and Petra developed their own language out of the blue, and it still freaks all of us out to this day.”
Dixie and Brooklyn turned to look at Jewel who smiled and started spouting gibberish that sounded like nothing I’d ever heard.
“How do the Catholics do it? North, South, East and West - or West and East? I’m never sure.”
I glanced at Amethyst. “If you’re not Catholic, then why would you try to use their rituals?”
“Because you don’t ever hear about Baptist preachers performing exorcisms, Roscoe!”
“All of you freak me out individually, but when you’re together, it gives me hives and makes me want to start sucking my thumb again,” Dixie said.
“Your parents spent a fortune fixing your overbite, so that wouldn’t be a good habit to pick back up,” Jewel warned her.
“How do you work with these people?” Dixie asked Amethyst. “I’m outta here.”
“Thanks for lunch, sweetie. I’m glad you got to see me!” Jewel called out to Dixie’s retreating back. When Dixie flipped her off over her shoulder, she just smiled, but I saw that Amethyst was still eyeing her warily.
“When you torment people like that, I have no idea why I’m still your friend,” Brooklyn announced as she connected her laptop to the cord that would project her screen onto the blank wall behind her.
“Because I do things like let you interrupt our lunch to practice your spiel so you can use it on some unsuspecting schmuck who might actually fall for your charms,” Jewel retorted.
Brooklyn just smiled. “Jewel, when you see the proposal I’ve got for you today, it might actually make you speechless.”
“If it makes her speechless, I’m in for whatever it is,” Terran announced.
“And if you can keep her that way for an extended period of time, I’ll sign up too” Spruce added excitedly.
“Seriously, how do you do that thing?” my cousin whispered.
“Why?” I asked.
“Terran and Spruce know that Brooklyn’s thick as thieves with Jewel, yet they just agreed to whatever she’s peddling without even getting the details! That’s how people in the movies get their souls stolen! How do you do the thing, and what are you supposed to say?”
“I have no idea because we’re not Catholic!” I whispered back.
“I don’t give a shit! At this point, I’m willing to try almost anything!”
Brooklyn cleared her throat before she asked, “Ladies and gentlemen, what do you know about rugby?”
◆◆◆
“How was your day?” I asked as I adjusted the water temperature to wash my hands.
Serana sniffed a few times before she said, “It was great!”
“Hearing you say that while there are tears streaming down your face is the perfect representation of a woman saying she’s fine when she really isn’t,” I told her.
Serana shifted to a more dramatic tone and rested the back of her hand against her forehead. “I’m fine! Everything’s fine! There’s nothing wrong!”
I was still laughing as she scraped the diced onions into the saucepan, but I sobered when she thrust the cutting board at me. “I’ve been cooking, so you better start cleaning before you fall behind.”
“I didn’t mean to be late, but . . .”
“No matter how hard the person in scheduling tries, they’ll never be able to make up for those patients who come in for one thing and then want you to examine every ache, pain, freckle, and bump they’ve got.”
“Usually I don’t have that problem, since I’m not exactly the type of doctor that treats random bumps and freckles, but today, I had some doozies.”
“As much as I appreciate what it was created for, I really hate HIPAA right now,” Serana said. “I’d love to hear some stories.”
“Do you have any good stories from when you were a nurse?”
“Good ones? Yes. Outrageous ones? Also yes.”
“Tell me the most outrageous delivery story you’ve got.”
“Let’s see. As far as the delivery went, we had a woman come in who wanted a natural birth - so natural that she hadn’t even seen a doctor or had a sonogram during her entire pregnancy.”
I hissed. “That’s not good.”
“She was adamant that she didn’t want any drugs, but she was worried because she’d been in labor for more than twenty-four hours and wasn’t seeing any progress.”
“Holy shit! That’s like something you’d see on television.”
“So, we got her into a bed, called the on-call doctor, and started taking her vitals. We were flying through hooking her up to the monitors when she announced that it was time to push. She went from ‘Hey I’m in labor!’ to ‘I’m the mom of twins!’ in a heartbeat.”
“Whoa.”
“And all before we even got a doctor into the room. It was nuts! She gave birth in the emergency room just twenty-five minutes after she walked in the door.”
“From the look on your face, I assume everything worked out okay.”
“The babies were heavy and healthy - both over six pounds!”
“Wow.” Serana was stirring the onion and garlic mixture. Since I was finished washing the cutting board, I crowded close to her back, looking over her shoulder into the saucepan. “What’s next?”
She swallowed hard, her eyes fluttering slightly before she said, “I don’t remember.”
Instead of giving her space, I pulled my phone from my back pocket and held it in front of us until it recognized my face. I opened the recipe we’d chosen for tonight. As I read off the ingredient list and the steps we needed to take next, my lips brushed the shell of her ear over and over again.
It was almost impossible to hold back a smile when she shivered, goosebumps appearing along her arm.
As much as I hated to pull away, I stepped toward the refrigerator to grab the next ingredients. “Tell me another crazy story,” I prompted.
Serana cleared her throat before she said, “There was a fistfight outside the nursery when a woman’s boyfriend showed up claiming the baby was his and her husband disagreed.
The cops came, and they were both taken down to the ER to have the injuries treated that they’d given each other.
I’ve always wondered who won the DNA lottery in that scenario. ”
“That’s some drama.”
“Oh, honey, that was just the loudest. There are so many more I could tell you. I’ve got a roster of irritating mothers-in-law and overbearing-mom stories in my arsenal. Those are the most common.”
“One of our friends who lives in Las Vegas came home so she could give birth,” I said. “And rather than do it in the hospital like a normal person, she delivered in the exam room at the office.”
“I bet that was exciting!”
“I thought Amethyst was going to kill her. They’re best frenemies and always have been, so there was a lot of yelling and insults, but the baby was healthy. Mom and Dad took him home about an hour later.”
“Have I met this friend?”
“I don’t think you’ve met her yet, but she’ll be at Bella’s wedding.”
“I can’t believe she invited all of us!”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
“I doubt there’s usually a section of the viewing audience made up entirely of ex-cons.”
I laughed before I said, “With our group, there almost always is. But considering she’s marrying into the New York Mafia, I think you ladies might be the tamest guests in the bunch.”
“Her wedding is on the anniversary of my release.”
I set the package of cheese I was holding on the counter and turned to look at Serana in shock. “That’s your one-year milestone?”
“It is.”
“Can I reserve a dance at the reception?” I asked.
“All of my dances will be reserved for you.”
I scrolled through my phone; luckily, the music app was still open. I hurried to find an appropriate song, set the phone on the counter, and reached around Serana to turn off the burner.
When she started to protest, I took the spoon out of her hand, tossed it onto the counter, and spun her around and then into my arms.
“The food can wait. I’ve wanted to do this since you first started coming over. I’m so happy to know that the end is in sight that I feel like we have to celebrate.”
“The end?” Serana asked, looking up into my eyes.
“The end of me being just a ‘good and supportive friend.’”
“And what will you be after that?”
I dipped her back over my arm, smiling as she clutched at my shoulders. “Hopefully, the man who makes you moan with passion, scream with pleasure, and smile over breakfast every morning - at least until you get tired of seeing my ugly face.”
“Is that what you want?” Serana whispered. Her lips were so close to mine that the slightest movement would result in our first kiss.
“I want to jump out of the friend zone with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“Your patience will be rewarded. I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” I said,lifting her up and taking a step back. “Now, get back in front of the stove and make me some dinner, woman!”
“Would you like your poison sprinkled on top or stirred in?”
I winked before I said, “Surprise me. You’re really good at that.”
“Not nearly as good as you.”