Chapter 19
Nineteen
Castiel
Lilith let out a muffled shriek, burying her face into my chest as her hands wrapped tightly around my neck.
I chuckled, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “Cirra, you must be quiet or people will look up and see us.”
She growled, and it reminded me of a kitten puffing its tail and extending its claws. I smiled into the wind as we rose high enough her face would not be visible. I kept her body pressed so tightly against mine that people might not even realize there were two of us in the sky.
“Where are you taking me?” Her breath was hot against my chest, and my nipples beaded at the sensation.
I gritted my teeth. I craved her. Every second of every day, I craved her. I hoped it would never end.
My wings ate up the distance, circling high and far around the neighborhood, until I could approach the belltower from the back of the church where no houses lay. My sharp eyesight made sure no one was watching, and I swooped down as quickly as I could.
Lilith yelped, her nails digging into the nape of my neck.
“Sorry,” I said, angling toward the open side of the tower. “Just trying to be discreet.” I hovered in place at the edge of the half stone wall, and guided her over and into the belltower. As soon as she was standing beside the old, rusting bell, I clambered inside and snapped my wings shut.
She backed up to give me room, nearly tripping over the rusted-shut handle of the trapdoor. “Erlik’s beyond,” she said with a shaky breath, her hair windswept across her face. She was gorgeous like this. “I’ve never been up here. I don’t think anyone has.”
“Until now.” I shot her a flirtatious smile, pointing to some folded blankets in the corner. “I’ve found it’s quite a nice little nest.”
“You’re so like a bird,” she teased, unfolding one of the wool plaid blankets. “What are we doing up here?”
I stepped to her, helping her drape the blanket over her shoulders and tucked it under her chin. “Hopefully a hawk. And you humans seem so skinny without wings.” Though it made donning blankets and clothing easier, I supposed. No wing slits to button up.
She fluttered her eyelashes. “Did you abduct me to have your wicked way with me?”
I laughed, easing down on a makeshift bench I’d created. It was painful to sit on the floor. I caught her around the waist and tugged her into my lap. She nestled into me, sitting sideways so her legs draped over one side and her back leaned against the arm curled around her.
Now that she was here, I didn’t know how to begin.
Lilith tilted her head to watch my wings. “I’ll miss this sight.”
My heart skipped a beat and my hands tightened around her. “Really? What if—what if you didn’t need to miss it?”
“Hmm?” Her finger traced lazy spirals across my chest, making the ayim surge and my mind spin.
I tried to focus. “I mean, what if we continued this?”
Her hand stilled. “What do you mean?”
I wished she’d keep going. “I mean I like you very much, and I think you like me.”
“Maybe.” As if reading my mind, her fingers started up again, more hesitantly though.
I hid my smile in her hair. My cirra, never quite willing to admit any vulnerability. How I adored her. “Lily, what if you left with me?”
She blinked at me in surprise. “Are you inviting me to Aerie?”
“I mean, what if you came back to Mirkwold with me. I have a cottage. It’s nothing special, but it’s a home I built and the villagers are kind. They’d be happy to have you. Eve is nearby, if you want a friend, and—”
Lilith cut me off. “To live with you? As what, a lover?”
I opened my mouth, thinking of it. “Yes, if that is what you want. Or we could marry and have our union blessed by a reverend of Erlik, if you like.”
She squirmed in my lap, and my cock took notice.
“Lilith,” I got out between gritted teeth. “If you keep moving we’re about to have a very different conversation.”
It took her a heartbeat to understand, to recognize the growing bulge beneath her, and then her eyes sparkled. “What, like this?” She rubbed her bottom against my lap.
“Lily!” I gripped her leg, stilling her. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation.” But I smiled, betraying myself. It made me happy to see her happy. She deserved happiness.
She sighed. “I thought you were hoping for a mate.”
“Most seraphim hope for a mate,” I agreed carefully. “But what matters even more is love.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Castiel,” she began. “It’s so fast. We’ve known one another for only—”
My fingers touched her lips, stilling her protests. “Lilith. You are my mate.”
Her mouth dropped open, and for several heartbeats she stared at me. “Four gods, you’re serious.”
I’d hoped for…something. Perhaps not a grand declaration of love, though that would’ve been nice. Had I truly overestimated how much she cared for me? I’d seen her walls tumbling down for me, and I’d thought—I’d assumed—it meant she was falling in love with me.
Like I was for her.
“How can I be your mate?” she whispered. “I’m human.”
“I’m not sure. But all the signs are there.” I held her hand and put it to my chest. “Do you feel how strong and fast it’s beating? That’s the ayim, telling me I’ve found you. That we should complete the mate bond.”
Her breathing grew shallow, and her eyes darted away from mine. Was she nervous? “I don’t know.” She bit her lip. “Can that be mistaken?”
I shook my head. “I have never experienced this before.” I combed my fingers through the wisps of hair the wind had pulled free. “Lilith,” I coaxed. “I love you.”
Longing flashed in her eyes, then disappeared so quickly I wondered if I’d truly seen it. “Are…are you sure? A month ago you didn’t know I existed.”
I nodded, tilting my face nearer so she could not mistake me. “You are my love and my mate. And I never wish to be away from you.”
“But what about when you return home?” she blurted.
“I won’t go back to Aerie. I’ll stay in this world with you.” Tenderness made my chest tight.
But the worry in her eyes grew. “I don’t know if I want that. You don’t need to make promises you can’t keep. You’ve been searching for your home for fifty years, Castiel. And suddenly you’re willing to give that up after two weeks of knowing me?”
I sighed, a tendril of frustration twining around my chest. “It’s not quite like that.” I fell silent, trying to think of an explanation. “If we were both human, and I understood human customs, I would court you, fall madly in love, and marry you.”
Her cheeks pinkened.
“As a seraph, I already know our bond will be unbreakable, our love will grow until it is the foundation of our lives. I don’t need a long time to make up my mind, Lilith. I know I’m falling in love with you, and I know the mate bond means this isn’t a passing fancy.”
“I…” She offered me a helpless look. “You gave me a lot to think about.”
I tamped down on the frustration that had spread another tendril. She’s human. She’s sheltered. This is new to her. “If you’re not ready, if you need time to know me better, I understand,” I said soothingly. “But do not doubt my heart on the matter. I know I am yours until the day I die.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s…nice,” she squeaked.
“I am a seraph. I can wait.” I cupped her chin, pressing a quick kiss. “I am not interested in possessing you for my own pleasure. I want you to lead a life that gives you joy.”
Her pursed mouth softened. “Castiel. You’re perfect. I just…I don’t want to trap you.”
I laughed. “Trap me? My love, I am laying my heart on a platter and handing it to you. Please, trap me. Bind me so that nothing can ever part us.”
She laughed, changing the subject. “I thought you took me here to seduce me.”
My thumb caressed her jaw. “Cirra, I will do anything to show you not only what a mate is, but what my love means for you.”
She turned bashful. “Will you seduce me, then?”
I’d thought the day Lilith asked me to put my cock in her would have me exploding with excitement, but this moment was tinged bittersweet. She hadn’t said I love you back. And she still didn’t seem to believe me, though I wasn’t sure why.
Still, I nuzzled her neck. “It would be my pleasure, Lily. Let me show you how mates make love.”
Lilith’s hand firmed against my chest. “This isn’t—we’re not—having sex won’t snap the bond in place, will it?”
Hurt twinged through me, but I pushed it aside. Lilith’s concerns mattered. She needed to feel safe, and that mattered more right now. “No,” I answered honestly. “It is a part of it, but it will not complete the bond. For that, ayim in blood must be shared.”
A riot of emotions flickered through her eyes, too fast for me to understand. She nodded. “Please make love to me, Castiel.”
I kissed her, letting her see all of my longing and desire for her, an unending wind that would blow north to south and south to north again.
Her body melted into mine even as she turned to better angle her mouth against me. She moaned against my lips.
This, I realized. She trusts this, at least. She had not been let down by a lover before. Family, yes. Friends, yes. Leaders, absolutely. But this was new and honest to her.
I would show her with my body that I was true. And one day she would understand and, I hoped, believe my words.
With renewed purpose I cupped her face with both hands and poured my devotion into our kisses. She responded, meeting my tongue with equal pressure and passion.
Desire swept through me like a whirlwind, throwing my body into the moment until the only thought running through my mind was Lily, Lily, Lily. She was so sharp and beautiful, so fragile and strong, like the clouds high in the heavens, above me in every way.
My fingers trailed down her neck. Her sighs trailed down my spine. My lips found her pulse, and her arousal found my ayim. Oh, how I needed this woman with the soft soul and the ice walls.
I had had many lovers over the past century, and it had always been fun. I had always liked them. A couple I wondered if I was in love with. But with Lilith, it was different. This wasn’t only a good time. This was…sacred.