Chapter 16
Kalani
There was sand everywhere. It got in my boots, in my clothing, and in my damn underwear.
I was so freaking tired of this endless desert and I’d only been planet-side for a few hours at most. I’d been transferred to a new battalion, and a new posting only days ago and I was struggling to fit in with all the new faces.
Many of these marines were hardened career types and there were more men than women; I had been fighting from the first hour to be seen as anything worthy.
I missed my last posting on the Praetor already, though I’d long gotten used to being transferred around after a couple of months, that’s what I got for being a good shot but without any family. I was maneuverable and expendable.
Sitting around in the sand while I waited for the command to march sucked too. Everyone was bored and fights were prone to break out in such a situation. I’d already had to knock down two separate guys a peg when they figured they could come on to me as one of the only chicks around.
I really missed my bestie, Camilla right now.
She would have used that razor-sharp Latina wit to tear each of these dudes to shreds and have me in stitches while she did it.
There was no time to dwell on any of that when the command did come and I was forced to hustle along with everyone else to the rebel target on this planet.
Supposedly a small faction that opposed joining the UAR but I had a bad feeling about this that I couldn’t explain.
Horror washed over me when I finally did see our target, but maybe the real horror was the fact that I appeared to be the only one who felt that way.
This wasn’t some rebel warrior camp, these weren’t soldiers.
This was just a rundown, low-tech village of some kind of bird-like alien.
They were unarmed and there were children and juveniles.
“No! No! We can’t fight them. This is wrong!” I yelled, sweat breaking out on my skin. I could taste the salty, slightly sour sand on my tongue. Smell the tang of blood on the air, screams that tore across my brain, echoing inside my head. “Stop this!”
“Hush, Kalani! You are dreaming!” a deep voice penetrated the panic in my mind and everything seemed to freeze in place. For a long, suspended moment, I was hovering along the edges of that nightmarish desert day. Then my mind roused fully and I was awake.
Iave’s dark gray eyes were right above my face, swimming with concern.
His features were drawn into harsh lines with what almost resembled a scowl.
I drank in the sight of him eagerly, letting it ground me into the here and now.
The thick nubs of his sharp brows were not as flexible as my own eyebrows but extremely expressive anyway.
The sharp slashes of his cheekbones, the finer scales that made up his luscious bottom lip, and that little dip below his nose that was a groove my pinkie finger could fit into.
Every inch was precious as I gazed at him.
“Iave…” I sighed, and for the first time in my adult life, I didn’t give a flying shit about being strong.
I flung my arms around his neck and just clung there, burying my face in the crook of his neck against the soft drape of his long black hair.
This was what it was like to be comforted by another and everything inside me seemed to unravel.
He didn’t say anything, just tightened his arms around me and coiled his tail until I was so fully embraced that every part of me seemed to be touching him.
I let out a shuddering sigh as I let the last cold fear and horror wash away.
I had tried to do the right thing back on Exrata, or Desert Planet Seven as the UAR had called it.
Not that it had mattered in the end but I should be able to say that my conscious was clear. Then why did it not feel that way?
“Talk to me,” Iave said against my hair.
His deep voice rumbled pleasantly along my spine.
Then he tilted his face to rub his cheek along my by now slightly chaotic and frizzy curls and I felt my heart grow even fonder for him.
He was a man of few words but he wanted me to spill my guts; I couldn’t help but smile.
“Fine, but then it’s your turn too,” I said against his neck and the last of my nightmarish memories faded to the background when he shivered. His skin might not do goosebumps like mine, but that was definitely the next best thing.
“Deal,” he grunted, and he shifted just enough so that we were lying side by side on the furs.
Still tangled together but now able to look each other in the eye as we talked.
I liked that he wasn’t shy of showing himself, of sharing this moment with me.
And I liked how he didn’t look at me any different than before, just because I’d sought comfort in his arms.
This was also when I realized that a soft skin had been tucked around my legs and that I’d somehow gained clothing overnight.
I’d washed my panties and tank top in the stream last night, but now they were back on my body.
I also wasn’t a sticky mess after our love fest a couple hours ago; Iave had cleaned me up and dressed me to help me stay warm.
The purple sun had already risen, bathing our little nest next to the stream in purple light; ensuring that no zombie Naga could escape the pit and attack us. A safe little haven, perfect to talk to Iave about how I’d ended up in stasis, although I didn’t know how I’d ended up on his planet.
“I was a space marine,” I said, and when those words instantly caused confusion to write itself across his handsome face I amended.
“A warrior.” I paused to consider my next words a little more carefully.
“My people, humans, are part of the UAR. It’s like if three of your Clans were to work tightly together…
Only those Clans each are so large they contain all the Naga on your world. ”
I wasn’t quite sure if that explanation would work but Iave nodded, his expression serious enough to almost be considered a frown.
I loved that frowny face at this point, it made me feel safe.
I knew exactly what he was thinking and that frown was just his way of throwing people off.
It was like being in on the secret to know what it really meant.
“So, the UAR sent me to this planet, Exrata to stop a rebellion of people who opposed joining the UAR. It was supposed to be enemy forces but… When I got there with my battalion.” My throat went tight when I remembered the kids and even the adults, such small, bird-like people.
They might have had feathers but they couldn’t fly; they hadn’t been able to escape.
“They weren’t rebels?” Iave growled, “Your leaders lied to you?” He sounded as angry as I had felt when I discovered the truth.
Too late to do anything about it, and worse…
When I’d called out and tried to halt the advance, my commanding officer had knocked me out.
I’d woken up to the sound of screams, the scent of blood, and the sight of my fellow soldiers relishing their task.
Some had even stuck feathers from the fallen on their helmets.
The memory still made me want to throw up.
“They did, but my fellow warriors didn’t care.
They didn’t stop the attack, and then they imprisoned me for treason, for not following orders.
I was supposed to be executed but I guess the UAR figured out a way to get rich that way too.
Selling us off to slavers in distant places of the universe.
” Everything tasted bitter when I dwelt on that thought.
What a bunch of bastards and assholes, killing innocent people to take their planet and their resources.
Betraying their own people to fund their war machine.
“And when you slept, you remembered that day?” Iave clarified. I nodded, in hushed tones describing what it had been like for him. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty that I hadn’t been able to stop those atrocities from happening.
“You are not responsible for every person in this big universe, Kalani. I might call you my Goddess but that doesn’t mean you can take care of everyone, no matter how much you want to.
” Iave’s words felt like barbs, though I knew he meant them to be comforting.
It did feel like I’d failed, but he was right.
Not taking part in the act was the only thing I could have done, it wasn’t like I could have stopped a force of several dozen Marines on my own.
“Okay, I know that,” I said, and then I repeated that thought in my mind until it settled there and I almost believed it for real. “You know what hurts?” I asked and waited until Iave quirked one eyebrow in question before I continued.
“The betrayal, I joined the marines to do some good and now it feels like I was working for the bad guys. And that ship we crashed on your planet with? That was a shuttle that belonged to a battleship I even served on! There might have been friends on that ship who knew we were transporting slaves to sell.” What if there had been humans in stasis pods on the Praetor when I served on it?
Had I unknowingly helped do such heinous things?
Iave’s arms tightened around me, “You are a good person, Kalani. You are a warrior and a protector. They didn’t deserve to have you, and I will make sure to earn my place at your side every day.
” He spoke the words like he was making a vow, and then he quietly added, “And when we return to Zathar and Corin, you and I will protect the rest of your people. Together we can do that.”