Chapter 16 #2
He really did know me. That gave me purpose, which was what I needed.
Another group of people to care for, to be the protector of.
I found myself smiling at him, and then laughing.
God, I was silly for needing something as simple as that to feel anchored to this world.
Yeah, that was going to be my goal, I was going to do my best to help the other humans, to protect them against the dangers of this planet.
And then, for the first time in my life, I decided on a purpose just for myself too. I was going to make sure I was happy, that I was living my best life at Iave’s side. That decision felt good, really good, and I couldn’t have found a better male to share it with.
“Yeah, we’ll do that, Iave. Together.” When I reached up to kiss him it wasn’t the passion-filled kind of kiss meant to ignite.
This was more of a vow, to seal this thing between us, and to let him know how much it meant to me that he was there for me.
When I drew back, his eyes were all soft and warm but they turned a little flinty when I nudged his shoulder and warned him that he had to share too.
For just a second, I thought he might be upset with that demand. That he didn’t think this needed to be a two-way street, but then I realized it was because he struggled with his own emotions. He even shifted his head to look over the top of mine, his eyes latching onto something in the distance.
“When I was a youngling, my parents took my sisters and me with them to hunt. Family outing; we’d stay away for a few weeks and hit several good spots.
It was my favorite thing in the world, away from the village, just us.
” I tried to imagine what Iave had been like as a kid, but for the life of me, imagining him as small was pretty damn impossible.
“What happened?” I asked, already dreading his next words.
He wasn’t going to paint such an idyllic picture when it was clearly hard to talk about.
He was a closed-off person who seemed to hold back a lot of himself, this was why, he was finally going to tell me, and now I wished he didn’t have to.
Just like I didn’t like to remember my childhood at the various orphanages, or the disaster on Exrata.
I also knew that sharing these parts of ourselves was what would set apart this relationship from any other I had, we needed this to grow closer.
“Some males don’t do well when they are cast from their Clan.
Sometimes there is a good reason they did not mate…
” he said slowly. I could hear the condemnation in his tone, knowing he’d been cast out of his Clan too.
No wonder he’d been so prickly about the subject.
Something bad had happened to his family, and it had been at the hands of outcasts.
“My family wasn’t really like most. Naga females…
tend to be ambitious, they fight a lot with each other.
The warmth and care a mated female feels for her male is but a shadow compared to the loyalty a male feels to his mate.
But it wasn’t like that for my parents, my mother was as devoted to my father as he was to her. ”
From the roughness of his voice, I could tell that this made him feel a lot.
It was the most choked-up on emotion I’d ever seen him, except maybe when he was all panicked and checking out if I wasn’t hurt in some way.
Remembering his family was hard, and I understood that.
If I had any memories of my family that would probably be bittersweet to me too.
“One day while hunting, outcasts attacked us. My older sisters fought alongside my parents but they were outnumbered. They fell, one after another. I truly think that when my father took a fatal blow, my mother didn’t want to keep on living.
She fought to the death, taking with her the last of the feral outcasts… ”
He lowered his face to meet my eyes and I read in them what he hadn’t said.
That he hadn’t fought, and how much shame he felt about that.
So I asked the question that was burning in my mind, “How old were you when this happened?” Because if there was one thing I knew, it was that Iave would have fought if he’d been able to.
His eyes flickered with a hint of confusion as if his age had never mattered to him in this entire equation. “I’d just had my third molting…” he started to say and when I tilted my head and lifted an eyebrow that made him huff out a laugh that broke some of the tension. “Five years, five winters.”
That painted one gruesome, horrible picture.
Five years, just a tiny little boy who witnessed the gruesome murder of his parents and sisters.
No wonder he’d turned into the man he was today.
My heart wept for him, but I made sure not to show that sorrow on my face.
“Were you the only survivor?” I already knew the answer, but I waited with bated breath for his answer.
He nodded, his sharp chin horn jutting down toward his throat, the jagged broken tip a stark reminder of the often violent life he’d led so far.
“It took me several weeks to find my way back to the Thunder Rock village. And then I discovered that no one even realized my family was missing.” So his former Clan had failed him in every way in his eyes, no wonder that he didn’t want to go back to them even if they let him.
Iave had a loyal heart but he held grudges too, so in his eyes, they didn’t deserve his loyalty.
His next words made that abundantly clear, they made it even clearer where his loyalties did lie.
“Zathar and Corin were the only ones who had tried to raise the alarm. But they were only five and four at the time, nobody wanted to listen to them. Even if Zathar is a Prince.”
His friends, the two Naga that I’d briefly seen when they rescued us from the crashed shuttle.
I instantly felt a rush of warmth for the two guys, even if I’d never spoken a word with either.
They’d treated Iave right, they’d been true friends to him all his life.
So the rest of the humans had to be in good hands with them.
Then I recalled the way that Azure Naga’s body had glowed as he held Vera. That the two had been able to understand each other and I felt another wave of relief. They were mates, just like Iave and me. So Vera was definitely in good hands, very good hands.
I cupped the side of Iave’s chin. “Did your horn break that day?” I asked.
His eyes widened in surprise but then he nodded, “That’s a heavy blow for a little boy.
Did it knock you out?” When he nodded again I poked his shoulder.
“Then you definitely can’t feel guilty either, there was nothing you could do to save them.
Just like I couldn’t. You were a kid even, a little boy.
Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.
You would have died and then you wouldn’t have been here to meet me. ”
He stared at me, but then his eyes softened, his frown smoothing out, and a smile curved his lips. “Right you are, my mate. No feeling guilty, we’ll move forward together.” And then he covered my mouth with his, invading me with his tongue and it was a long while yet before we left those furs.