3. Koi #2
My eyes met my mother's across the room as I patted Belinda on her back.
“It’s gonna be aight." As the words left my mouth, I cringed.
Rika was receiving all of her fucked up karma, and I could care less about the outcome at the moment.
Once a dirty bitch, always a dirty bitch in my eyes.
The only thing that I was stuck on was the fact that God allowed her to have a child and not me. “The baby, is he or she?”
“He’s good. Stacey was there when he was born. The father-” her voice trailed off as the front door opened and closed.
“Yo B, you good?” Marcel’s voice made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“I will be. I just need my daughter to pull through.” Belinda was wiping her face. I brushed past her, going straight to Sicily’s room. She must have heard me because she held out the almost full bottle of Casamigos.
“Why is this nigga here?” I sat on the metal folding chair that was in her room. “He already knows I’m not feeling him, and he keeps popping up. Fuck!” I poured myself a double shot with the glass Sicily had in her room.
“You know he ain’t letting up that easy. You should know that. And he's gonna use this as an excuse to be around,” she shrugged. “You can act like you don’t see him or you can let him get on your nerves.”
“You right. Where is my niece?” By now, I hadn’t heard a child anywhere in the house.
“In mommy’s room watching TV.” She scooted back on her bed.
“On a different note, Koi, it’s the summertime and this nigga playing in your face.
When are you going to meet someone just for fun?
” She questioned with a raised brow. “You know I hate to see you being a sitting duck for a nigga who don’t deserve you. ” She held out her hand for the bottle.
“You know that ain’t even my style. I only fucked with Marcel. He’s been the one since I lost my damn virginity.”
“And that’s the problem. You need a hoe phase,” she shrugged. “That goody two-shoe shit ain’t getting you nowhere. Hell, you ain’t even married yet and your pussy on lock. It’s time to change that shit or he’s gonna keep playing in your face.”
“So, you want me to fuck someone and then what, Sicily?”
“Make that nigga chest hurt so bad that he feels like he’s having a heart attack. Shit, I don’t know, but if you fuck on someone else, I can guarantee you that the nigga gonna be fucked up in the head,” she chuckled. “And you know I’m right.”
“First of all, I don’t even know the first thing about dating,” I admitted. “I ain’t no lowdown bitch, and I can’t prove that he’s cheating right now so-”
“Bitch shut up. You know his community dick is out in these streets.”
I swallowed hard. Sicily and I both knew how grimy Marcel could get. Yet I turned a blind eye to what he was doing to save myself the public humiliation, but in all reality, these bitches were laughing behind my back.
“Aight, damn sis, let me figure it out first.”
For hours we spent time in her bedroom with the door closed. Marcel didn't come bother us, but the amount of unanswered texts I had from him had to be studied. If he wasn’t begging me to come speak to him, he was asking me if I needed anything. I finally opened the text thread.
Koi: I need you to leave me alone, that’s it or I’m going to tell my father you’re literally harassing me. Shit.
I never really put my family in my business, but today I was over it.
Marcel: On the real you’re being immature. You think I’m cheating, you have no proof, but it’s fuck me?
Koi: Yes! I’ve had proof for years and stayed. Now I’m ready to leave. Simple.
Marcel: Shit is weird, but whatever yo. I’m out.
I didn’t bother to respond. I sat back in the chair, closed my eyes, and listened to the sound system in Sicily’s room. She was now lying across her bed, blunt in her hand, bopping her head to the music.
I would have stayed in the same position I was in if my phone hadn’t alerted me to a new email.
When I saw Rae’s name pop up at the top of the email, I hurriedly opened it.
Rae: This is out of the norm, but meet me in the city on 88th and 3rd Avenue at Sushi Goda. We don’t have to talk about therapy things, but if that doesn’t work for you, we can set up a meeting for tomorrow evening.
I furrowed my brows, poked out my lip, and sat stoic for a second. Sicily must have noticed the look on my face because she immediately asked if I was okay.
“My therapist invited me to get sushi with her. She’s new, so I don’t even really know if I trust the hoe like that, but I’m kind of tempted to go.”
“Girl, go get sushi, the fuck? You act like the chick asked you to go home with her,” Sicily laughed.
“Maybe you need an evening to not think about Marcel and who knows, girl talk with someone besides me or Marli may help.” Anytime Sicily mentioned my best friend, I knew it was because she hated our relationship most of the time.
While Marli and I were like two peas in a pod, Sicily and I were polar opposites. It took us a long time to get to where we are, and I’ve explained to her over and over that it was because of our age difference and that we walked two different paths in life, but oh well.