Chapter Seven Getting Down to Play
Chapter Seven: Getting Down to Play
~ Alex ~
‘Are you all right, man? Only you’re looking kind of hungry.’ Myles sniggered and elbowed Alex in the ribs. They were in a super-trendy dance club in Farringdon, and a whole truckload of dolled-up girlies on a hen do had just arrived. Alex snapped to.
‘Come again?’
‘Now that’s fightin’ talk,’ Myles guffawed. ‘You look like you wanna come again — with that bird over there.’
‘What bird?’ Alex had been miles away, thinking of Casey. Missing her. Ridiculous, he knew. She was only up the road with Sasha, but still. This was their first night apart since the wedding, their first night off from rehearsing, recording, and giving lessons, and he couldn’t help but notice her absence. He supposed that was a good thing, especially considering their precarious circumstance. He smiled.
‘That bird. The one you’re making moon eyes at. Say, mate, aren’t you getting enough with the missus?’
‘Myles!’ Alex surprised himself and his best mate in equal measures with his shouted reprimand. He made an effort to drop his voice. ‘But really, can’t you lay off Casey? What’s with you?’
‘Me?’ Myles was all pretend outrage. ‘What’s eating me? Nothing’s eating me. But you two, you’ve been behaving like randy cats that never get the deed done. What’s with you?’
Alex nearly choked on his drink. Was it really that obvious? And what drove Myles to analyse their marriage so obsessively?
‘And now,’ Myles continued mercilessly, ‘you’re making eyes at the first available piece of totty in sight. What’s up? Don’t you love Casey any more?’
‘Of course I still love her!’ Alex was shocked that Myles should be thinking along those lines. ‘In fact, I miss her. It’s our first night apart since we tied the knot.’
Myles made a gagging noise. ‘I get it. You’re lovesick. I need more beer.’
He ambled off to the bar. Alex was left behind feeling as though the floor had been pulled out from under him. Did it really show to the whole world that he and Casey were leading a frustrated quasi-celibate existence? If so, that was a disaster. And what was it to Myles whether he and Casey shagged like rabbits, or not at all?
Myles returned with a couple of beers, and, for a microsecond, Alex debated confiding in his erstwhile best man. But he thought better of it. Myles didn’t do that kind of talk. And once the words were out there, they would be truly out there. Myles might be his best mate and an ace guitarist, but a great confidant he was not.
Instead, Alex picked up his beer and downed it. ‘Can we go now?’
Myles spluttered his beer all over the table. ‘What, now? We only just got here! This is supposed to be a night out.’
‘I know. I’m sorry, mate, but it’s not my scene tonight. Can’t we get a movie and hunker down at your place?’
Myles shot him a sceptical look. ‘Sure. If that’s what you want.’
‘That’s what I want.’
* * *
After four hours filled with two action movies and twelve cans of beer, Myles had passed out and was snoring softly on his sofa. Alex, however, couldn’t sleep. Yeah, he had had a great time, but he felt really out of sorts, especially after what Myles had said in the club, and he wasn’t really in the zone for hanging out. Still, he had stuck with his best mate. He couldn’t very well have gone home. But he wished he had.
He grumbled to himself and tried to get comfortable on the sofa once more. Myles emitted a particularly loud snore, and Alex wanted to do a runner. Suddenly it occurred to him that he might as well go and sleep in Myles’s bed if Myles wasn’t in it. The sheets might not be the cleanest, but heck, he would stay in his clothes and have a nice hot shower back at home in the morning.
No sooner thought than done. Alex padded gently across the vast wooden floor and shut the door to Myles’s bedroom behind him. At last, that stopped him hearing the snoring. He pulled back the duvet and gingerly climbed into the enormous super-king-sized bed. Something rustled under his bottom, and he expected to find a porn mag.
‘Myles, Myles, Myles, you need a steady girlfriend,’ Alex said to himself with a grin. But his grin quickly faded with uncertainty. It wasn’t a porn mag that Myles was harbouring in his bed. It was a catalogue of some description.
Alex squinted at the images, confused by what he was seeing. ‘What is this stuff? Is Myles into some unusual cookery fad that I don’t know anything about?’
He turned the page this way and that but couldn’t make sense of the assortment of images showing blender-shaped multi-coloured sticks and balls. Eventually he resorted to looking at the front page and nearly choked on suppressed laughter. Myles’s bedtime reading was a mail-order catalogue for sex toys. Alex had apparently been staring at vibrators and massagers of the ‘most exclusive variety’.
The laughter built and built until Alex could hold it back no longer. He had to stuff a pillow in his mouth to drown out his guffaws. Tough man and bad boy Myles was given to ogling some of the kinkiest sex toys on the planet.
‘I wonder if he has any of these stashed away here somewhere?’ Interest piqued, Alex pondered rifling through his mate’s wardrobe but drew the line at snooping. Instead, he amused himself looking at the catalogue some more. He fervently wished Casey were there to share the joke with him. She would have a field day with this stuff. He could almost hear her voice. Eek, what do you suppose that one does? And what orifice does it go into?
He was still shaking with laughter when the idea hit him. There was stuff in here that might actually be helpful. They had tried the kinky outfit route, and it would have worked if Casey hadn’t reacted to the rubber. So why not kinky toys?
Alex picked up the catalogue again. Some of these implements looked really entertaining, especially as their actual use was a mystery to him. If nothing else, he and Casey could have some fun with this stuff.
He turned the catalogue over thoughtfully. There was no way he would surrender his personal details to a dubious mail order purveyor of sex toys. That wouldn’t do. No, he would simply have to find an actual shop. Paying cash in a real shop, however dodgy, where hopefully nobody would recognise him — yeah, he could manage that. Hopefully it would be worth the effort.
* * *
~ Casey ~
Something was cooking in the kitchen. The lights were low, and the table was set with fancy crockery and candles. Something was definitely up.
Casey sniffed the air appreciatively. She detected the fishy tang of prawns cooked in garlic oil. There was a delicious hint of chilli and paprika, and she could pick up the scent of chorizo baking in the oven. Her stomach rumbled in anticipation. She had spent all afternoon in the studio working on the vocal tracks for Blue Heart’s new album. Normally the band insisted on staying together even whilst recording individual parts, but Liza had been taken ill, and Myles had taken her home.
Alex had stuck around when they left, but after a while, the sound engineer had subtly suggested that Alex might as well leave too. So Alex had taken off, and Casey had found herself alone in the studio.
She smiled. She had assumed that Alex would have gone to the pub or maybe hunkered down for some writing at home. Instead, he had put together a meal of tapas for them both. Bless him!
‘That smells good,’ she greeted him happily. ‘Have I mentioned lately that I love you?’
Alex chuckled. ‘The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach, it seems.’
‘Yup.’ Casey wrapped Alex in a hug. ‘I dig the apron and the oven gloves. That’s a nice look.’
Alex bowed. ‘Thank you, ma’am. If you care to be seated, dinner shall be served.’
‘Wow. I clearly must go out to work on my own more often,’ Casey joked. ‘I like the domesticated husband routine.’
‘Watch what you wish for, gorgeous,’ Alex replied as he set down steaming dishes on the table. ‘Wine? Red or white?’
Casey surveyed the offerings before her. ‘Red, I think.’
‘Excellent choice.’
Alex opened and poured the wine, then ditched the apron and oven gloves and sat down with Casey. ‘Bon appétit.’
‘Thank you.’ Casey tucked into some prawns greedily. ‘What’s this all in aid of?’
‘Nothing in particular.’ Alex speared a chunk of spiced potato as he spoke. ‘Just a nice mid-week dinner, that’s all.’
‘Is that so?’ Casey batted her eyelids.
‘That’s so.’ Alex jabbed his fork at her. ‘There is to be no sex tonight. Don’t even think about it.’
‘Perish the thought.’ Casey giggled.
‘Absolutely.’ Alex chewed and swallowed. ‘I mean it. This is not a seduction routine. No sex.’
‘No sex?’
‘No sex.’
‘No sex. But really?’ Casey couldn’t quite hide the surprise from her voice. ‘I thought . . .’
‘I know what you thought, but not tonight. We need a break. But I do have some entertainment lined up for you. It’s a bit risqué, so I wanted to be certain that you didn’t get the wrong idea when I showed you the stuff.’
‘What stuff?’
Casey was intrigued and secretly relieved. They hadn’t attempted sex or even talked about it since the rubber dress incident. Instead, they had devised a new evening routine involving books, films, music, and wine. And afterwards, in bed, they made up lyrics for songs.
Alex shrugged. ‘Some toys.’
‘Toys?’
‘Yeah. Toys. I thought we might have a games night.’
‘A games night.’ Casey nodded thoughtfully. ‘That sounds like fun. What kind of games?’
‘Ah. Well.’ Alex fidgeted on his chair, and Casey could have sworn a slight blush rose on his cheeks. ‘I did something foolish.’
‘You did?’
‘Yeah.’ Now even the tip of Alex’s nose turned red.
‘Go on, what’ve you done?’
Alex coughed. ‘The other night, when I stayed at Myles’s place, I found this catalogue.’ He paused.
‘And?’
‘It inspired me, so I got a whole load of stuff. Toys.’
‘Myles had a toy catalogue at his house? What, like Lego and things?’
‘Not exactly.’ Alex cleared his throat. ‘Other kind of toys.’
‘You’ve got me,’ Casey admitted. ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’
Alex fidgeted some more. ‘Initially, I thought they might help us. You know, with . . .’ He made a rolling hand gesture.
‘Cookery? Gymnastics?’
‘No!’ Alex laughed. ‘That other problem we have. But when I got them home and had a look at them, like, a good long look . . . It’s just too absurd for words. It’s not us.’
‘What are you talking about?’
Alex walked around the table and knelt in front of Casey. He took her hands into his and looked deeply into her eyes. There was a certain light there, but Casey couldn’t quite make out what it was. Mischief? Embarrassment?
‘Sex toys.’
‘Sex toys?’
‘Sex toys. I bought a whole load of sex toys.’
‘You did what? What kind of sex toys?’ Casey bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. Alex had gone to a kinky shop and bought a load of sex toys?
‘Everything you can think of, and more.’
‘And now that you’ve got them, you don’t find them exciting?’
‘Nope.’ Alex’s lower lip trembled, but Casey couldn’t work out whether it was with mirth or discomfiture. ‘I don’t. But they are fun. Fun-ny.’
Casey shook her head in bemusement. ‘Can I see them?’
‘I thought you’d never ask.’ Alex rose and pulled Casey to her feet. He rubbed his hands together gleefully. ‘Let’s play. Close your eyes.’
‘Close my eyes?’
‘Close your eyes. Go on, do it. I want to see the look on your face when you see my wares.’
Obediently, Casey closed her eyes. Immediately Alex took her hand and guided her towards the lounge. He opened the door and propelled her in gently.
‘Ta-da! You can open them now.’
Casey opened her eyes and gasped. On the lounge table was set out an array of bewildering objects of all shapes and sizes in various bright and gaudy colours.
‘See what I mean?’
‘Indeed.’
Alex tugged at her hand and led her to the table. ‘Sit down,’ he encouraged her. ‘Have a proper look.’
Casey sat down and looked. She blurted out the first thing that came into her head. ‘And you say Myles owns this kind of stuff?’
Alex burst out laughing. ‘I’m not sure whether he actually owns any, but he appears to like ogling them in his mail order catalogue at bedtime.’
‘And you know this how?’
‘I found the catalogue the other night. It was in his bed.’
‘What were you doing in his bed?’
‘Myles was totally plastered. He fell asleep on the sofa and ended up snoring really badly. So I went to sleep in his bed. That’s where I found the catalogue. And then the idea hit me.’
‘What idea?’
‘That we could have some fun with — with some toys. Only as I said, once I’d actually got these . . . Well, you can see for yourself. It’s too bizarre for words.’
Casey examined the objects before her in light of this new information. Some were clearly vibrators, although in shapes and sizes that she’d never previously thought possible. Others were more obscure.
She picked up a pink rubber ball and examined it carefully. It had some kind of rim on one side, and she squeezed it experimentally. It squeaked, and she gave a start.
‘What is this?’ she managed in between bouts of laughter.
Alex chuckled too. ‘Told you these were extraordinary.’ He consulted a piece of paper. ‘It’s a nipple sucker.’
‘A nipple sucker?’
‘Yup. You use it to have your nipples sucked.’ Alex took the ball out of her hands and held it against his fully-clothed chest, squeezing it hard all the while. ‘Like so. Only naked, of course.’
Casey laughed so hard that she thought she would pee herself. ‘Do people really use these?’
‘It would appear so. This is a bestseller, I’ll have you know, as is this one here.’
He set down the pink nipple sucker and picked up a pair of jingly silver balls.
‘What are they? Earrings?’ Casey giggled.
‘No!’ Alex rubbed his chin. ‘They’re pleasure balls.’
‘They are?’
‘Uh-huh. For those hard-to-reach places.’
‘Ah. Those! I see.’ Casey didn’t ‘see’ at all, so she rolled the silver balls experimentally around the palm of her hands. Then insight struck.
‘Oh my gosh!’ She had a mental image of how to use the balls, and she began to hyperventilate.
Alex nudged her affectionately. ‘See, they definitely induce heavy breathing.’
Casey shook her head. ‘I must have led a very sheltered life.’
‘Ah, see, this is only the beginning,’ Alex teased. ‘What do you make of this baby?’ He waved a purple double wand at her.
‘It’s a vibrator, Jim, but not as we know it,’ Casey intoned deadpan.
‘You’re right! It’s a rabbit vibrator.’
Casey took a closer look. Sure enough, the implement was shaped like a rabbit, complete with face and standy-uppy ears. Then she caught sight of another unusual-sized pleasure wand. ‘If this one’s a rabbit, is that one a candelabra?’
Alex picked up the three-pronged vibrator that had caught Casey’s eye, which, bizarrely, was a faint shade of teal. He scrutinised the packaging and read out loud to Casey, adopting a sleazy salesman’s voice: ‘This fine piece of equipment is for double penetration with simultaneous clit stimulation.’
‘You . . . are . . . kidding me!’
Alex tilted the candelabra suggestively. ‘I kid you not.’
‘I . . . I don’t know what to say. It looks like an implement for a gynaecological procedure. A torturous one. Of Victorian times.’ Casey snorted with amusement and shook her head at the same time. ‘What else have you got?’
‘So glad you asked,’ Alex burbled merrily. ‘Take a look at these vibrating nipple massagers . . .’
He picked up a small lozenge-shaped plastic object and pressed a concealed button. Instantly the toy lit up and started vibrating, jumping up and down on the palm of his hand like a possessed bean.
Casey laughed out loud. ‘You can get your nipples mechanically massaged as well as sucked? Wow. Does it . . . You know, attach?’
‘So I’m told. I haven’t tried it. But it’s great for acrobatics practice.’ He tilted his head back and placed the massager on his forehead, where it shivered and shook determinedly. Alex wiggled his head this way and that to keep the object balanced. Then he started hopping on one foot whilst making circular motions with his hands. ‘See?’
Casey snorted and picked up a random ‘ordinary’ vibrator, poking it inside Alex’s armpit to tickle him. Alex was ever so ticklish, as well she knew.
‘Oi!’ Alex bent over, and the massager fell on the floor, where it continued to judder and buzz. He, too, picked up a vibrator from the table. He looked Casey squarely in the eye and adopted a fencing position. ‘En garde!’
Casey parried, and their vibrator ‘swords’ engaged. For a moment, the two of them stood locked in place. Then Alex chuckled.
‘I’ll win this one. My wand is bigger than yours.’
‘Ha!’ Casey retorted. ‘Yours may by bigger, but mine turbo vibrates!’ She turned the bottom of her implement with her free hand, and the vibrator began throbbing violently.
‘Touché!’ Alex lowered his weapon and sank to the floor, shaking with laughter.
‘One-nil to me. What’s next?’ Casey looked at him expectantly.
* * *
~ Alex ~
Alex wiped a tear from his eye while trying to think up another game. This was a great success. Casey’s eyes were bright with enjoyment, and her whole face shone. She was loving this, no doubt about it. And no untoward gesture or comment had passed between them. They were having clean, uncomplicated fun, and he was positively lightheaded with relief. They still had their mojo, their easy-going sense of togetherness. They still had a foundation.
He caught Casey staring at him with expectation, and he rallied. ‘Hold on a minute.’ He jumped up with alacrity. ‘I’ve got an idea, but first up, we need more booze. Bear with.’
He raced out to the kitchen and returned as quickly as he could with another bottle of red and two fresh glasses. He poured two generous helpings and held his glass up for Casey to clink.
‘Cheers.’
‘Cheers.’
They smiled at each other, and unexpectedly, Casey wrapped her arms around him. ‘This is fun,’ she whispered into his ear. ‘Unusual, but inspired.’
‘Excellent.’ Alex returned the hug, relishing the tender moment. Then inspiration truly struck him for what to do next. He pulled back and grinned at Casey. ‘But you might change your tune once I’ve thrashed you at the next game.’
Alex set down his glass and swept up all the vibrators he could carry: single-pronged, two-pronged, three-pronged, and otherwise. With great care, he set up his motley collection of implements in a triangle pattern on the floor on the other side of the lounge.
‘What on earth are you doing?’
Alex returned to the table and picked up three of the pink rubber nipple suckers. He threw the balls in the air, juggled briefly, and gathered them up again.
‘Bowling,’ he said. ‘You like bowling, right?’
‘Yeah, and?’
‘Let’s roll.’ He threw one of the balls in the air once more, caught it, and motioned towards his arrangement of upstanding pleasure wands. When Casey still didn’t get it, he lined himself up, took aim, and hurled the ball across the floor such that it hit the target.
‘Score!’
Casey erupted into explosive laughter. ‘You want to play dildo bowling?’
‘You got it.’
Casey laughed harder still. ‘Now that I can do. Move over, champ, and prepare to get beaten.’
‘Fighting talk at last,’ Alex said with a chuckle. ‘Come on, show me what you’ve got!’
And he watched as Casey repositioned the wands and executed a confident strike.
‘Ha! Told you! That’s a ten,’ Casey shouted with glee and punched the air. ‘Two-nil to me!’
‘Beginner’s luck,’ Alex growled. ‘Move over and let me show you how it’s done!’
He re-erected the wands and lined himself up for another go.
After a few more games, they collapsed onto the sofa. Alex took her hand. ‘I love you, Casey Morgan,’ he whispered.
‘I love you too, Alex Morgan,’ she replied. ‘Thank you for a brilliant evening. I can’t remember the last time we laughed so much.’
‘Me neither.’ He poked at one of the vibrating implements on the floor with his foot. ‘These were a good buy after all.’
‘Most certainly,’ Casey agreed. ‘And quite educational too. In a weird kind of way. You should tell Myles about it some time.’
‘And how, pray, would I do that, woman, without sounding like a complete dork?’
‘I don’t know. But I’d like to be fly on the wall when you do.’
After this, Casey fell silent, and her breathing gradually slowed and grew steady. Alex breathed too, basking in the glow of a fabulous, relaxing night. Eventually, he realised that Casey had fallen asleep. He wasn’t surprised. They had both been working so hard, they were worn out, and she deserved an early night.
Carefully he rose and debated carrying her up to the bedroom. On balance, he decided she would be better off where she was, so he retrieved a duvet and pillow from upstairs and covered her up.
‘G’night, sleepyhead,’ he whispered as he dropped a kiss on her forehead. ‘Thank you for being so wonderful.’