Chapter Eight Desperate Measures
Chapter Eight: Desperate Measures
~ Casey ~
Casey leaned back and closed her eyes. She was utterly exhausted after the marathon of the preceding weeks when all she had known was work, work, and more work. The highly entertaining toy evening seemed to have happened in a different lifetime.
Blue Heart’s new album, the first to be released under the ‘big record deal’, was nearly done. Today was the last day of their scheduled block of recording sessions. After this, they would have to attend ad-hoc sessions when necessary, but notionally, the album was done. Which was just as well as the band members had spent eighteen hours in the studio almost every day. The label was pushing them hard.
Plus somewhere along the line, the record label had set up a promotional gig for them at the Apollo. The Apollo!
Emily had worked her socks off promoting the gig, and ticket sales had gone well. There was a tangible hype around Blue Heart. However, this meant that everything needed to be shipshape in a week. A week!
She sighed. She loved fronting a rock band. It was her life’s dream. Really and truly. The record deal promised to shape up well. But right now, she would have given her right arm for a nice, predictable nine-to-five desk job with regular amounts of downtime and regular income, however modest.
Over the past weeks, some nights they had camped out in the studio in sleeping bags on the sofas. Other nights they had all dragged themselves to their respective homes, stuffed themselves full of convenience food, and fallen into a restless sleep. Recording was always intense, but this album was proving a killer.
The only upside was that she and Alex were too busy to worry about sex. Or they had been, at least. From tomorrow, things would be different again. The band would disperse for a few days to give each other breathing space. Liza had some mysterious plans that she wouldn’t discuss, and Myles was planning a bender in Brighton.
All Casey wanted to do was sleep and rest. She suspected that Alex would want to get romantic, and she wondered how she might get herself off the hook.
Horrified at her own thoughts, Casey shook herself. She sounded like a bored housewife, not like a young and funky married woman. But her confidence had taken such a battering that she couldn’t summon any enthusiasm for amorous activities. She would have to remind herself to be excited if Alex wanted to go there.
In actual fact, perhaps her detachment wasn’t a bad thing. If she could focus on keeping Alex up, coaxing him in, and seeing him through, then they might achieve the breakthrough they needed. And then everything might go back to normal.
Casey sat up a little straighter, her heart beating fast. That was it! She didn’t care about her own pleasure or lack thereof, but if she put her energies into satisfying Alex — fully satisfying him in the traditional way — perhaps they could end their cycle of sexual misery.
Next time, I’ll be the total sex goddess, she promised herself. I’ll attend to his every need. I’ll move exactly at his speed. I will make it happen, even if it kills me.I’ll writhe and buck; tweak, tease, and suck; ride, shake, and shiver; I’ll kiss, bite, and quiver. Anything and everything, I’ll do it, for however long or short it takes.
She caught Alex staring at her like he was reading her mind, and she winked at him. He winked right back and smiled.
All right, so perhaps he had been reading her mind. Maybe he had plans. Maybe tonight would be the night for action. She would be ready.
* * *
~ Alex ~
Tonight was the night. He was positive. It had been weeks since they tried, and the break had done them both the world of good. Casey had just winked at him, twice. She hadn’t winked at him in forever.
He noticed Myles staring at him with a face as dark as a storm cloud. When their eyes connected, Myles looked away, and his face assumed a softer, far-away quality when his gaze came to rest on Casey. What the heck was wrong with him?
A mere second later, Liza gave him a suggestive little grin that he tried hard to ignore. Sometimes, just sometimes, he wanted to tell Myles and Liza to go to hell. He knew exactly what Myles would be up to this evening, and ditto for Liza, so why were they making strange faces at him? And what was the big deal if he and Casey were making moon eyes at each other? Everybody was demob happy. Only a couple more hours before they would all have a well-deserved break to do whatever they pleased.
Alex put his hand in his trouser pocket and fingered a little sachet of ground ginseng. It had arrived in the post the previous day, and he had barely managed to intercept it before Casey could open the package.
He had ordered it on the internet after many a sneaky search for solutions to stop himself from laying down on the job. Eventually he had stumbled over testimonials that this particular powder guaranteed miracle strength in the erectile department. Ginseng was supposed to improve blood flow to down there. It had better live up to its promise, Alex thought, because the powder had been wildly expensive.
Yet it was harmless stuff, herbal and natural. He figured a little help wouldn’t go amiss, and he was excited that it had arrived with perfect timing for their recording break. ‘Rise and Shine’, the powder was called. It sounded like a wake-up drink, but he didn’t care as long as it made him rise and helped him shine.
He wouldn’t tell Casey, of course. She would go ballistic. He would simply wait for the right moment, down the powder, and hooray!
It looked like his luck might just be in that night. There, Casey was smiling at him again with that little suggestive twinkle of hers.
* * *
~ Casey ~
Her instincts had been spot on. He was definitely going for it tonight, and she was wearing her best seductress head — figuratively speaking — and nothing else. Things were going well. She was attending to his every need, anticipating his desires, pre-empting them even. They were kissing deeply, lying skin against skin, and she was stroking, caressing, probing, tingling, tweaking, bumping, and grinding every which way she knew how. At the same time, she was letting him have free reign over her body, and she was making all the right noises at all the right times.
It wasn’t that she was faking it, exactly. Her own needs weren’t important to her at that moment, but if it heightened Alex’s pleasure to hear her excitement, then noise she would make. Casey was cautiously optimistic.
She was debating the logistics of the actual act in her mind — should she remain on top, perhaps? — when Alex excused himself to go to the bathroom. Casey noted that fact absent-mindedly as somewhat unusual, but of course she didn’t say anything. She reclined and assumed a provocative pose, hoping that Alex would still be on fire when he returned.
And oh gosh, was he on fire. He was more hyped up than she had seen him in a long time. He was hot and ready for action, and his entire body was flushed as with a fever. The soft sheen of perspiration on his forehead suited him somehow. Casey was reminded of a Roman gladiator fresh from the arena, and that thought turned her on even though she hadn’t planned to get involved at that level.
Alex lay down on her, gently but with great determination. He cupped her face in both his hands and kissed her deeply.
‘Ready?’ he whispered into her ear when they came up for air. There wasn’t a hint of doubt or hesitation in his voice, and Casey shivered.
‘Go for it,’ she encouraged.
So Alex lowered himself onto her and into her, hot and delicious inch by hot and delicious inch. Casey couldn’t believe it. She was near ecstatic with joy. He was in! They were doing it. It was working! At last!
* * *
~ Alex ~
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Wahey! We have lift off. I can do this . . . oh, this is so good! So good! Come on, boy, dance, dance!
* * *
~ Casey ~
‘Are . . . you . . . all . . . right?’ Casey’s breathless voice jumped with the movements of her body.
Alex muttered something unintelligible. He was enthusiastic, quite possibly a little too enthusiastic, but she wasn’t about to stop him. He was bucking and writhing as if his life depended on it, and Casey tried her best to match him. Only she had the feeling that something wasn’t right. Alex seemed erratic. There was no longer any rhythm to his actions, like he had been thrown off stride by something.
He was pouring with sweat now. Some of it was dripping right on her face, and Casey surreptitiously ran a hand over her forehead to stop the droplets from running into her eyes.
And still he bucked and thrust. Casey breathed deeply and tried to be as floppy as possible to accommodate his movements. He was grunting heavily, and his whole body seemed to tremble.
Suddenly Casey became aware that Alex had gone the most extraordinary shade of red. In fact, his face was puce, bordering on purple. Surely that wasn’t normal?
‘Alex?’ she ventured again, softly still in case it was simply exertion on his part. She really didn’t want to kill his pleasure at this stage.
No reply.
‘Alex, are you all right?’
Stupid question. Almost as useful as ‘Are you asleep?’ But what else could she ask? And still no answer.
Alex had his eyes screwed firmly shut, and he didn’t seem to be hearing her. His breathing was ragged and irregular, and his face had assumed an even darker shade of purple-red. He yelled out, and his whole body shuddered with release. Casey could feel it inside her, but she no longer felt triumphant that they had ‘done it’. She was worried, desperately worried. Something was wrong.
A spent Alex collapsed onto her and nearly knocked the breath out of her. She tried to roll him off her body and noticed that despite being flushed and sweaty, his skin was cold and clammy. His eyes remained closed, and his breathing was all over the place.
‘Alex, say something,’ Casey pleaded, but Alex didn’t reply.
For a moment, Casey lay still, trying to gather her thoughts. She listened to Alex’s shallow breathing, and then she panicked. With considerable effort, she began to roll his inert body over to one side. His arousal stood up stark and proud and very red. Casey shuddered. What was going on? Alex had achieved a climax, but by what means?
She tried to take his pulse, but it was so thready and irregular that she soon gave up. Once more, she tried to talk to her husband.
‘Alex? Alex, wake up!’
No reply.
‘Okay, I’m calling 999. Don’t hate me for it, but I’m freaked out.’
Casey wrapped herself into the duvet while she spoke with the emergency operator. She gave all the detail she could and was told to wait for an ambulance. The operator said something else, but Casey was too shocked to listen. She disconnected the call even while the lady was still talking and then flapped around the bedroom in great haste. She needed to get dressed. And what about Alex? Should she try to make him decent? Maybe she could wriggle him into his nightwear?
She attempted to lift Alex’s upper body to slide on his T-shirt, but she couldn’t budge him. Not knowing what else to do, she covered him with the duvet instead.
Time was running out. The ambulance would be there any second, and now Casey desperately needed a pee. Feeling callous for leaving her husband alone, she nonetheless rushed to the bathroom to do what she must. And there she stopped right in her tracks while she washed her hands. By the side of the sink, a sachet filled with a pale golden powder leaned against the rinse-and-spit cup. The label proclaimed it to be something called ‘Rise and Shine.’ And in smaller lettering it promised: ‘You’ll be hard for hours.’
Casey’s heart flew to her mouth. The fool! What had he gone and done? She picked up the sachet and sniffed at the powder. It smelled vaguely of plant, of roots and earth, with a strong acrid undertone. She had no idea what it was, but she didn’t doubt for a second that it had caused Alex’s distress.
The doorbell rang. Still clutching the suspicious sachet in her hand, Casey rushed downstairs to let in the ambulance crew.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she heard herself saying as the paramedics entered the house. ‘I think he took something to stimulate himself—’ She flushed red with embarrassment both for herself and for Alex, who was passed out in the bedroom with a critical part of his anatomy still standing to attention like a dutiful soldier. Casey shook her head to rid her mind of unbidden and wholly inappropriate associations. She had to rally, embarrassment or not. Alex needed help, and he needed it fast.
‘He must have taken this stuff.’ She proffered the sachet. ‘He went red and purple, and he started to sweat heavily, but he was really cold to the touch, and now he’s passed out, and I’m frightened.’
The first paramedic took the sachet and raised his eyebrows. ‘Do you know where he got it?’ he asked even as he was following Casey to the bedroom.
‘No idea.’
‘Probably off the internet, then. We’ll have it tested.’
After that, he and his crew erupted into focused activity. They gave Alex an injection of adrenaline, put him on an oxygen mask, and did all sorts of other things that Casey didn’t understand. Mercifully, they covered him with blankets before they put him on a stretcher to take him out to the ambulance.
Casey watched and fretted all the while. Before she knew it, she found herself sitting beside Alex in the back of the ambulance, shedding a torrent of tears. How had they come to this? And still she could make out MrHappy under the blankets. It was the most incongruent and absurd sight, and she doubted that she would be able to erase the memory for years to come.
‘It’s all right, love,’ the first paramedic assured her on the way to hospital. ‘He was probably a bit ambitious, that’s all. He’ll be fine, I’m sure. He’ll be right as rain by morning, you see.’ He smiled awkwardly. ‘We see plenty worse, believe you me.’
Casey shook her head. ‘I . . . I don’t know what to say. This isn’t us. We’ve never had any problems until recently, and all of a sudden . . . And now he’s taken this stuff . . .’
The paramedic gave her a sympathetic look. ‘Happens to the best of us, trust me. No point fretting now. He wanted to make you happy.’
He wanted to make you happy. Casey didn’t hear what else the paramedic said. He wanted to make you happy. The words kept going round her head. She didn’t find them comforting at all. In fact, she was suffused with guilt. If only they had talked about everything as she had wanted to — if only she had insisted they seek some kind of proper help, this might never have happened.
Casey looked at her husband’s red and blotchy face, and she was frightened.
* * *
~ Alex ~
‘So, MrMorgan. That was quite a fright you gave yourself there.’
Alex shuddered. He was sore all over, especially in the groin region. An intravenous drip was delivering fluids to his body, and a catheter was taking them away almost as fast as they went in. He had been in the hospital for nearly four hours, and he felt like a coffee machine: water in at the top and straight out again at the bottom. He didn’t think he had ever been as embarrassed in his entire life. What had he been thinking, taking that damned stuff?
The doctor regarded him with steady eyes, and Alex blinked before looking away. Feeling utterly despondent, he noted the scuffed green paint on the walls and the steady hum of voices outside of the blue-grey curtains drawn around his gurney. Of all the things that might have happened that evening, a stay in the emergency department had not factored in his plans.
A small cough brought Alex back to the here-and-now. The doctor appeared poised to read him the riot act. And he had chosen the exact moment when Casey had gone off to the cafeteria to get them both a snack. Go figure.
‘Are you aware of what happened to you?’
Alex shook his head. The doctor gave another cough. His face was round and friendly, with blue eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. He looked like he had been a doctor with the National Health Service since it was first conceived; he exuded competence and invited confidences. Thank goodness he was a man. Alex was no prude, but he couldn’t have lain there and discussed his problems with a lady doctor.
‘Right. So your “Rise and Shine” stimulant powder was comprised mainly of ginseng.’
‘That’s why I bought it,’ Alex finally spoke up. ‘It promised . . . it said it would increase blood flow to my . . . um . . . to down there, and that seemed like a good idea.’
‘Yah.’ The doctor raised an eyebrow as he consulted Alex’s chart. ‘Did it work?’
Despite himself, Alex grinned. ‘It did, at least to begin with. I got this big rush, and I felt awesome. Invincible.’
‘But?’
‘But after a few minutes, I couldn’t breathe. My throat tickled like an army of fire ants was marching up and down it, and . . .’ Alex blanched at the memory. ‘Eventually that reached all the way down there, and then all over my skin. It was horrible. And I couldn’t say anything. And . . . and my — err — manhood . . .’ Alex gulped ‘. . . let’s say, it hurt like hell. Even though it performed.’
The doctor scribbled a few notes on Alex’s chart and looked at him thoughtfully.
‘I’ll explain why that was in a moment. But first, let me ask you something. You’re twenty-eight?’
Alex nodded uncomfortably and squirmed. This would be the preamble to the real question, and he felt supremely stupid about having to explain himself. Where would he even begin?
‘Why would a young, fit, and healthy man like yourself seek assistance from a stimulant powder such as the one you took?’
‘I . . . uh.’ Alex sighed. ‘How long have you got?’
‘As long as it takes.’
Alex pulled an incredulous face, and the doctor smiled. ‘I know. This is the NHS, you’re thinking. And you’re right. Technically, you’ve exhausted your ten-minute timeslot. But I’m a doctor, and you took a substance that could have done serious harm if your wife hadn’t acted as quickly as she did. It’s my job to understand why so that I can help you.’
‘Wow. That’s quite a speech.’
The doctor inclined his head. ‘Thank you. Now reward me by satisfying my curiosity.’
Alex breathed in and out slowly. ‘Okay. Here goes. Casey and I, we got married in May, and since that day we haven’t been able to make love.’ He studied the doctor’s face for a reaction, but there was nothing other than professional calm. Alex felt compelled to elaborate. ‘We haven’t been able to make love at all. And we’ve tried all manner of tricks. We’re at our wits’ end. We don’t understand it.’
The doctor was silent for a few moments. ‘How exactly does your inability to make love manifest itself?’
Alex sighed helplessly. ‘We get all fired up, and right before we can, you know, do it, everything goes away. Literally.’
‘I see.’
The doctor rubbed his face. Was that a hint of sympathy in his eyes? Alex couldn’t be sure.
‘So let me be clear on this, if I may. You manage to achieve an erection, but it doesn’t last when you’re trying to join with your wife. Is that correct?’
Alex grimaced. ‘Man, it sounds horribly clinical when you put it like that. But yes, I suppose that’s correct.’
‘Hm.’ More face rubbing ensued. ‘Was there any specific event that might have triggered some kind of mental barrier to making love? Any kind of trauma? An argument, perhaps?’
‘No. Absolutely not.’ At last Alex was able to speak with confidence. ‘Our sex life was always exciting and fulfilled before . . . before we got married. That’s what I don’t understand. You know, one day we’re at it like there’s no tomorrow, if you pardon the expression, and the next day, we’re closed for business.’
‘Have you talked this through with your wife?’
Alex felt himself redden. ‘Not in so many words. We . . . we both seemed to think that if we acknowledged the problem, we’d make it more real, somehow.’
‘I can understand that.’
‘What happened to me tonight?’ Alex decided to return the conversation to the crisis at hand before he could be drawn into a futile analysis of his and Casey’s strange situation.
The doctor flipped through his notes. His face turned more serious again. ‘We found a significant amount of cantharidin in your ginseng powder.’
‘Cantharidin?’
‘Indeed. It’s a toxin that leads to blistering of the skin. It’s sometimes used for wart treatment. Taken in large quantities, it’s poisonous.’
‘Cantharidin?’ Alex repeated once more. ‘A wart treatment? Why would that be in my ginseng powder? All I wanted was to stimulate blood flow . . .’
The doctor frowned. ‘I know. It’s unusual to find cantharidin in a powder that claims to be purely herbal. Normally, it’s the other way round. I can only imagine that the manufacturers are trying to enhance the lure of their product by making it more powerful — and presumably more expensive — than it actually is through the addition of an illegal substance.’
‘Illegal substance?’ Alex squeaked. ‘I was really careful to get something harmless.’
‘I’m sure you were. But cantharidin is far from harmless. You may know it better under its common name of Spanish Fly.’
‘Spanish Fly?’ Alex blanched. ‘I did my research on . . . um. Well. Sexual enhancers, shall we say, and that wasn’t on the list of things I wanted to try.’
‘I thought as much. What’s worse, the concentration in your powder was significant, which is what caused your reaction. As I said, you were lucky your wife called an ambulance. We were able to start flushing the toxin out of your body promptly.’
Alex closed his eyes. He was deeply, deeply gutted. He had only gone and stumbled onto one of the most dangerous aphrodisiac substances known to man. Really, how stupid could you get?
‘MrMorgan.’ The doctor broke into Alex’s self-recrimination. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it. You couldn’t have known. We’ll report the supplier to the police to try to stop other people from getting hurt. Meanwhile—’
He paused, and after a small eternity, Alex felt compelled to open his eyes to see whether the doctor was still there.
‘Meanwhile,’ the doctor continued at last, ‘I would like to prescribe you a legal stimulant that may help you overcome your problem.’ He scribbled on a piece of paper. ‘I would also urge you to have a frank conversation with your wife and possibly seek counselling.’
He handed Alex a prescription, and Alex could feel his jaw drop.
‘Viagra?’
‘It’s your best bet if you want chemical help. But don’t take more than instructed.’
‘Wow.’ Alex was stunned. A mix of emotions assaulted his head. Partly, he was in awe that he should get to try the stuff, and partly, he was in despair that he should need to. And what if that didn’t work either?
The doctor rose. Clearly Alex’s time was up. ‘If you need a further prescription, please see your GP. I’d rather you didn’t order any more dubious substances off the internet, okay?’ He smiled.
‘I . . . wow. Okay. Of course. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. Now, when you leave here, I need you to keep drinking plenty of water. Also, keep taking those diuretics for another day or two. If you’re in discomfort, take some painkillers. You can go home when your latest set of bloods is back.’
Alex swallowed hard. He didn’t relish the prospect of another two days of playing at waterworks and rushing to the toilet every five minutes, but he supposed that he was getting off lightly. At least there was no permanent damage to any parts of his anatomy.
‘Thank you, doctor,’ he managed. ‘For . . . for listening, and for not judging, and for . . . well, trying to help.’
The doctor smiled. ‘All in a day’s work,’ he offered kindly before he left. ‘Good luck to you.’
Amen to that,Alex thought.