36. Misha
MISHA
I couldn’t move. Five years. Five agonizing years. Hour after hour of missing her with an ache so deep, I drowned every fucking second.
And it had all been a lie. I’d been too shocked to be angry, and now, listening to her talk to our son, I understood why she’d abandoned us. I might not have been strong enough to do what she did, but I understood.
The constant pain in my heart had eased the longer I stared at her, and touching her knee in the car had been more than I could bear knowing that even though she agreed to come back here, she might not want us anymore.
I put my palm on the door and leaned my forehead on the wood, breathing in the knowledge that Peyton was here.
I was a father. I’d never dared to hope that might be in my future.
I hadn’t known I could love anyone more than I loved Peyton. I loved her more now than I had even thought possible five years ago.
The door opened, and Peyton stepped out. Her hair was longer, her body different but as beautiful as ever.
Motherhood looked good on her, but more than that, the way she looked at us had changed.
The meekness gave way to a protective instinct that kept her chin up and her eyes wary.
The old Peyton would have trembled.
This one met us look for look, standing toe to toe without backing down.
None of us had moved since we left the room. Leo pressed his shoulder into the wall, his arms crossed.
Viktor had made it a step further, but the stillness in his body failed to deceive any of us. His heart was as shredded as my own.
Peyton’s right shoulder twitched toward her ear, and she crossed her arms, her head tipping back and turning to check both ends of the hallway. “It feels strange and yet so, so good to be back here.”
A sigh of relief punched all the air from my lungs. “Peyton.” I’d spent enough time hesitating before. I wouldn’t fall into that trap again. “Can I hold you?”
Her arms relaxed, and then she was in my arms. Her head landed on my chest, her arms tight around my ribs.
My chest ached from the rightness of it.
“I’ve missed you so damned much. You have no idea.
I was dying from the inside out.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“I don’t know what you want our relationship to look like moving forward, but I need you to know that I’m here for all of it.
Whatever you want. Whatever you need from me. I’m here.”
I might never let her go. How could I?
Her arms tightened, and she let out a quiet sigh. “I’d like you to take me to bed. All of you. If that’s still an option. I’ve missed all of you. I still feel like this is a dream.”
“We can make it real.” Viktor pushed forward and hugged Peyton from the side. Leo followed his example, and for several blissful seconds, we simply held Peyton, the love of our lives and the mother of our child.
Peyton made a sound against my chest, not quite a word but not a sob either. Her cheek moved from side to side, and she lifted onto her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Take me to bed, Misha.”
I didn’t need any other incentive to sweep her into my arms and carry her into the bedroom three doors down. Our room.
Nothing had changed here either, though none of us had entered since the day she left.
Peyton kicked her feet, her head tucked close to my chest and her arm around my neck. “You’ve been working out.” A giggle rippled through her body and vibrated down my arms. “Didn’t think you could get any more buff.”
I could tell her that lifting weights was the only time I felt even a sliver of hope that I’d survive.
I’d lived in our home gym for hours, moving my body despite being trapped in my head.
Instead, I kissed her, releasing her legs to let them slide down my body and pulling her flush against me.
With nothing more than a look at Leo, we made an agreement. We’d take our time tonight, each of us spending time with Peyton one on one. And I was going first.
I ran my hands through her hair, down her shoulders, then back up to cup the sides of her neck. “I love you, Peyton. I never want to lose you again.” I kissed her before she could respond.
We moved toward the bed slowly, neither of us willing to rush. I sat on the edge and pulled her between my knees, my arms once again going around her waist as I buried my head between her breasts and simply breathed her in.
Her nails scraped over my scalp and down the back of my neck.
She tugged on my collar, unbuttoning the first few buttons, and slid her hands across my bare skin.
A shudder turned into liquid hot heat that sent my hands underneath her skirt. I stood, bringing the dress up with me. “You still wear dresses.”
Her laugh and the shrug put light in her eyes. “They’re comfortable. And when you’re chasing after a four-year-old, comfort matters.”
“I can’t wait to learn that for myself.” I kissed my way across her collarbone, then the side of her neck.
“I’m sorry.”
“No.” I framed her face in my hands. “No more apologizing. No feeling guilty. You did what you had to, and we’re together again. That’s what matters.” I dipped my head to taste her lips. “You’re both safe. That’s all that matters.”
Loving her had never been a choice. It was like gravity. She held me captive, and I had no desire to escape.
The rest of our clothes hit the floor. Peyton put her hand on the center of my chest and pushed, silently asking me to move.
I scooted onto the bed, bracing my back against the pillows and headboard.
Watching me the entire time, she straddled my legs and wrapped her hands around my cock.
I didn’t need her words to know she’d missed this, and that we were more than sex to her.
Her lips found mine in a long, lingering kiss. She stroked the length of my cock, and I held onto her hips, guiding her up and onto me.
She broke off the kiss and rested her forehead against mine.
“I love you. I’ve loved you for so long.
” With that, she took me deep, settling on my lap and looping an arm around my neck.
“I want this, all of you, for the rest of my life. Every day, when possible. I never want to feel the pain of losing you again.”
“Never again.” I made it a promise as I moved my hips, rocking us both closer.
She made that low, mewling sound in the back of her throat, and time stopped. Nothing else mattered except this. I banded my arms around her waist and sucked a nipple into my mouth, pulling away from the headboard and bucking my hips.
Desperation took over. I needed her to know how much she meant to us, what we’d been willing to do, to avenge her. But words were not enough. I had to show her.
My chest expanded with the first real breath I’d managed since Leo showed me the picture.
We were going to be okay. I deepened my thrusts, bouncing her in my lap and slamming us together as the desperation took control of my body.
I’d never get enough of this. Not just sex but life with Peyton.
“Misha.” She cradled the back of my head. “Oh, Misha. I’ve missed you so much.” Her voice quavered, and she trembled. Her walls tightened around me, the first waves of her orgasm rolling up and bringing our bodies tighter together.
I didn’t try to hold back. Viktor and Leo were waiting their turn, and as much as I wanted to be greedy and selfish, they deserved to have time with Peyton too.
My head fell back, my body coiling tighter as my balls clenched. I emptied my cock with one deep thrust, our breaths mingling together as we came down from the emotional high.
I kissed her one more time, my thumbs brushing away the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “It’s real, Peyton. We’re together again.”
She nodded, sniffed, and hugged me.
Viktor and Leo joined us on the bed, and that was when I realized that I’d been wrong. Leo let me have this moment alone with Peyton because he’d known I needed it.
Their hands ran up and down Peyton’s back, over her ribs, and into her hair. She leaned into Leo’s touch and sighed when Viktor kissed her shoulder.
I helped Peyton off my lap but didn’t move away. Instead, I sat back and watched my brothers please her, and themselves. We whispered words we’d never said before. Things that promised forever.