37. Peyton
PEYTON
In a way, nothing had changed but also, everything had. I couldn’t explain it except that my heart and soul recognized this place as home.
My body recognized the three men lavishing me with attention and worshiping my body, but it was different. Being in their arms again was the best feeling on earth.
And having our little boy sleeping down the hallway brought us full circle. My heart swelled with a mix of hope and joy I never dreamed I’d find after leaving them.
If they noticed the changes in my body brought on by motherhood, they didn’t mention it.
Instead, they loved me with every touch, every kiss.
Low, masculine voices whispered sweetness into my ears. They thanked me for coming back, for giving them a son.
There was no jealousy, no demands to know which of them was Luka’s biological father. They simply loved him.
I lay still in the dark after our rather tame but still rigorous lovemaking and smiled up at the ceiling.
Leo’s arm settled across my waist.
Viktor’s steady breathing fluttered my hair on my left, and Misha’s heart beat under my cheek.
We lay tangled in a mess of arms and legs, and if not for Luka, I’d stay right here the rest of the night.
But I couldn’t leave Luka to wake up in an empty room in a strange home.
The thought warmed me even as concern settled. Luka, our son, was sleeping in my old bed, in the place that had meant so much to me.
I’d lain awake in my bed at home night after night, listening to Luka first through baby monitors and then with the motherly instinct that had me rising from the bed before his feet hit the floor because I felt him wake and need me.
Viktor stirred and pulled me closer without waking, his arm tightening around my waist from behind. His breaths evened out against my shoulder.
I doodled circles on Misha’s chest and stared into Leo’s eyes.
He stared back, a tiny smile curving his lips as he traced one finger up and down my forearm.
I pressed my lips together in the darkness and blinked back the sting of tears. I’d cried enough.
No doubt my eyes were red and puffy, and there was no reason to be crying except I was so happy, it spilled out of my eyes.
Misha cradled the back of my head and made a whispered shushing sound, knowing without looking at me that my emotions were taking over. “It’s okay, Peyton. We’re here. It’s all going to be okay.”
I’d needed to hear that so many times through the years. How many times had we lain in bed like this, the others falling asleep while Misha and I stared into the quiet?
Too many to count. He was always the last one asleep, a guard always on duty until the rest of us slipped under.
I tilted my face up. “You should sleep.”
“I will.” He grinned at me in the low light. “We will all sleep well tonight.”
For the first time in years. He didn’t have to say that part for me to understand it. He’d said no more apologies, and coming from anyone else, his words might be taken as a passive-aggressive attack.
That wasn’t Misha.
My stoic, brave Mafia man had been broken. I’d broken him. Luka had broken him. I hoped that tonight began the healing process for all of us.
Leo stirred when I shifted my weight. Easing into a sitting position with my hand on Misha’s chest, I kissed him on the underside of the jaw. “I should get back to Luka.”
Leo sat up with me. “I’ll walk with you.”
“You don’t have to.” It came out automatically. My independent streak had grown since I left them. I shook my head. “But I don’t mind the company.”
I ran my hands along Misha’s chest, noting the changes in his body, in all of them.
They’d always been buff, but I hadn’t been joking when I commented that Misha must have been working out.
They were lean to the point of unhealthy, muscles standing out in stark relief and skin stretched taut. Like they’d not been eating.
A lump formed in my throat at the thought that I’d done this to them.
“No apologies.” Misha ran his hand through my hair and down my back until he hit Viktor’s arm.
Viktor grunted and sat up. “Misha’s right. You did what you thought was necessary.”
“And it cost you.” I ran my hand up the hard planes of Misha’s stomach.
“It cost all of us.” Leo stood and shrugged into his shirt, then pulled on a pair of pants. “All we can do now is move forward. No blame.”
I kissed Viktor, then Misha one more time. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes, you will.” Misha tweaked my chin in an old, familiar gesture. “Get some rest.”
I pulled on my dress and straightened my hair over my shoulders before following Leo into the hallway. He had to know I didn’t need an escort. Maybe he was worried I’d change my mind, grab Luka, and run?
No. That couldn’t be it.
The penthouse was quiet around us, the small lights in the hallway illuminating just enough that I didn’t bump into any tables or trip over the rug stretching down the middle of the space.
We moved slowly, Leo’s hand on the small of my back, almost like he couldn’t stand the idea of not touching me.
I pushed open the bedroom door and peeked in at Luka. He was exactly how I’d left him, hands under his chin, mouth slightly parted, and the blanket kicked to one side so he could stick out his left leg.
I pulled it back up, smoothing and straightening it without waking him.
Leo stood in the doorway watching. “Thank you for coming back with us. And for Luka.”
I made my way back into the hall where we could talk without waking him. “You don’t have to thank me for Luka.”
“Maybe not, but it felt right to say.” He swallowed hard, then shook his head. “There is so much I should have said. Things that are still difficult for me to say.”
Curiosity piqued, I placed my hands on his chest, then slid them around and hugged him. “You can tell me anything.”
He locked his arms around me, rocking us in a slow sway.
His throat dipped again, the swallow hard enough that I felt it in his chest when I pressed my ear over his heart.
“When we thought you were dead…” He stopped, groaned, and started again.
“When we saw your car and tried to accept that you were gone, it broke me to realize that I’d let you go, every single day, I’d let you go without ever telling you that I loved you. ”
“Leo.”
He shushed me with a playful tap of his finger against my lips.
“Maybe you knew, but the fact that I never told you ate me up from the inside out. I fell in love with you, and then you were gone. I never told you that I am so desperately in love with you that life had no meaning without you. You consume me, Peyton. Heart and soul. I am yours for the rest of my life, and I will never be more grateful than I am right now because I’ve had the chance to tell you. ”
Lamplight played in his eyes, turning the darkness into something more.
I rested my chin on his chest and ran my fingers up and down his spine.
“I love you too, Leo. So much.” I kissed him again, pouring all the years of missing him into the contact.
We’d missed out on so much, but if I had any say in the matter, we would do our very best to catch up.
He made a low sound in his throat and his arms squeezed so tight, I couldn’t breathe.
Didn’t matter. I needed him to hold me exactly like that for the rest of my life.
When the kiss ended, I kept holding him. “I’ve loved you for years, Leo. All three of you. You were the first one I admitted it to myself about.” I pushed him to arm’s length so I could look at him. “I love you.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead and held them there.
We stood that way so long, my feet began to ache, but I still didn’t want to let go.
Luka was asleep. We were safe.
The brief thought that I might fall asleep, only to wake up and discover this had all been a dream, kept me fighting the pull of my eyelids. I held onto Leo’s forearms when he started to let me go.
“Promise you’ll be here in the morning.”
He chuckled without real humor. “I was about to demand the same thing.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I shook my head so hard, my hair fanned around my face. “I’m afraid it’s a dream.”
“Me too.” The quiet pain that lingered in his voice was the final convincing factor my brain needed.
“Then we both promise. We’ll see each other in the morning.” I gave him one more quick kiss on the cheek, then made my feet move.
Leo held on until I reached the door, then took a step back. “See you in the morning.”
It was technically already morning, but neither of us pointed that out. I winked at him while closing the door, then made my way to the bathroom to wash up for bed.