Chapter Forty-two Daniel #2
My voice stays strong. No hesitation. No weakness. Even as my mind races, even as my body struggles to keep up with the storm inside me, my mouth knows exactly what to do.
Don’t act like his words affect you. That’s what he wants. I have to act like I’m in control.
Even when I’m not. Not anymore. Not truly.
“Give me a fucking name you bastard!” My voice bounces off the walls, my anger boiling over. I don’t give a fuck anymore. If he doesn’t talk, I lose my only lead.
I can’t have this little bastard get into my mind like this. He’s not the one in control here.
I am.
That’s the most important thing I have to remember.
I shove the gun harder against his forehead and flick the safety off with a sharp click. He knows I’m not fucking around anymore.
His eyes widen. “Fuck—no! I swear, I—” His words break into sobs. Then I hear it.
A liquid hitting the floor.
Oh, my fucking God.
He’s really pissing himself.
I scoff. “Give me a fucking name, or I’ll end your bloodline in an instant. No worries, I’ll make it quick.” My voice is too calm. Too steady for the storm in my chest.
From the corner of my eye, I catch Hayden’s confused expression as he glances toward the door. I don’t care. Whoever just walked in can wait.
The man in front of me looks straight into my eyes, still crying, still shaking. He knows he’s as sure as dead.
Acting all tough when he knew how this was gonna end. How fucking funny.
“I—I don’t know the name, I swear! It was something—Lo? Lore? Loran? Man, I don’t know! I swear it!”
My rage snaps.
I rip the knife from his chest and plunge it back in, twisting it, watching his eyes go wide with shock. No sound leaves him. He’s too stunned.
“GIVE ME THE FUCKING NAME!”
Silence.
The storm inside me erupts. I don’t even realize what’s happening behind me.
I raise my gun. Pull the trigger.
A gunshot echoes.
Blood splatters across the wall.
For a second, everything is still. The adrenaline fades, the storm inside me begins to quiet. I lost my lead. Again.
But this guy? He wasn’t worth shit.
Maybe he really didn’t know the name. Maybe he forgot. No matter how he knew my mom died, if he had more information than I thought…
It doesn’t fucking matter anymore now.
I wipe some blood from my face, smearing it instead of removing it. It doesn’t bother me. The only thing that does is that all I got was ‘Lore’ or ‘Lora.’ Useless. He could’ve lied, too. Fuck.
I sigh, my shoulders sinking. “How fucking great. We’re almost back to zero. Again.”
Scoffing, I glance at his lifeless body, blood still pooling beneath him. “Whatever. What the fuck do you want?”
I turn around, my body still trembling, expecting Hayden with one of my men.
But I don’t see one of my men.
I see her.
…
Jennifer.
I make direct eye contact, my body, my face, my hands—drenched in blood.
She saw it.
She saw everything.
Oh my god.
Fuck, no.
“Jennifer…” Her name barely leaves my lips.
Her eyes are wide, frozen in terror. Her breath is shallow. She doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak.
She just stands there, staring at me.
I take a step toward her, my feet heavy like I’m walking through mud.
But she flinches.
It’s a punch to the gut.
I stop, just staring at her. And for the first time today, I feel something other than rage. Something raw.
The realization that I’ve just destroyed everything between us.
I just let her see the monster I am. And if she does what I expect her to— it’s gonna fucking break me.
This is me. This is what I am. If she stays, she has to understand that.
I’ve always told her I’m not a good man. I never hid it from her. She should understand.
I take another step. She doesn’t move. And that’s when I know.
I really, really fucked up.
She shouldn’t have been here… Just like back then. Only this time, it’s not sympathy filling my chest. It’s pain.
Because seeing her afraid of me hurts more than anything. I just fully realized I loved her days ago. And she’s about to hate me.
I told her my life is fucked up. She didn’t want to believe me.
But now, she’s seen it. All of it.
I watch her turn away. Walk away. Every step she takes is a knife to my chest, a reminder of what I’ve just lost.
She’s leaving me.
And I can’t stop her.
The heavy door slams shut behind her.
Silence.
My mind spins, my body frozen in place, still drenched in blood. And then, the first tear falls.
It’s slow.
At first, I don’t even recognize it. It feels like a drop of blood.
Then another. And another. And suddenly, it’s a flood. Years of rage, of pretending I didn’t care, all pouring out of me.
A sound escapes me—one I don’t recognize.
My own sob. Weak. Pathetic. I’m supposed to be strong. But here I am. Broken.
What a good fucking job.
“Daniel.” I don’t look up. I can’t. I don’t deserve to face anyone. Not now.
But then, Hayden is there. Standing in front of me. He doesn’t say anything at first. Just watches me.
Then, without a word, he puts a hand on my shoulder. The weight of it is too much.
I fall to my knees. The cold concrete and puddles of blood meet my palms.
“Hey… you’re not alone,” Hayden says quietly, steady. Unshaken. It almost makes me angry. But then he kneels beside me. Pulls me into his arms. And that’s it. The dam breaks.
The years of pretending I didn’t need anyone. The regret, the rage, the pain—I break under it. Hayden doesn’t say anything else.
He doesn’t have to. He’s here. And for now, that’s enough.
I’ve lost her. But I’m not completely lost. Not yet.
Not as long as Hayden’s here. Not as long as I still have a chance to fix this.