Chapter Forty-three Jennifer
Chapter Forty-three
Jennifer
I watch Mary and Enzo in their beds, napping peacefully. While I may seem calm outside to the woman next to me, my pulse is racing, like it’s about to explode.
It’s been almost three hours since I saw the man I love covered in blood. Since I saw him shoot someone’s head off.
But I can’t shake the image from my mind. Even two hours of playing with the kids didn’t help.
I sigh and take another sip of my coffee, staring at the wall. God, the coffee tastes bitter—almost like blood.
God, stop. Stop thinking like that.
It gets me nauseous.
My body snaps out of its shock when Victoria moves beside me, looking at me intently. “We need to talk.”
Oh shit. What now? Did something happen? Did I say something out loud?
“What—” She cuts me off.
A knowing smile plays on her lips as her eyes fall to my chest. “That necklace, Jenny. I know that one.”
Oh, fuck. Thank God. It’s just that. But even then, it makes my stomach turn. My throat tightens like I can’t breathe.
I take a deep breath, forcing the words out. “Lilia gave it to me before she died. She wanted me to…,” I trail off, the image of Daniel flooding my mind. I swallow hard.
“She wanted me to be with Daniel. Be a part of the family.”
Victoria smiles warmly. “We all want you to be a part of our family. I mean, you already are.”
Her words make my chest feel warm, happiness spreading, but there’s guilt, too. Guilt for running away from him.
Seeing him drenched in blood triggered something deep within me. It reminded me of the day I first met him; the day I couldn’t save the man I so desperately tried to save.
I still wonder how Daniel feels. I ran in there wanting to see him, but I forgot what kind of things he usually does.
I wasn’t prepared for that. For him to take a life so easily.
But I’m worried about him. I promised him I wouldn’t leave, no matter what. I hope he knows I meant it.
Even after I left without saying a word.
I hope he knows I can’t leave him. I won’t. Not now, not ever. I promised I’d stay.
But after seeing him like that, I’ll never see him the same. I’ll always have the image of him drenched in blood. But it’s who he is. He never lied about it.
He showed me his darkest side. Now there’s nothing worse he could do to push me away anymore.
I knew what he was capable of. I chose him anyway, even knowing he would kill without hesitation if necessary.
Victoria glances at me, sensing my unease. “Did something happen?”
I hesitate. Should I tell her? No, I shouldn’t.
Daniel told me they leave women out of their business. He said he’d only let me in because I work for him. And now, I’m not sure how much I want to know.
I agreed to work for him, but I didn’t realize how deep this life went. How much I’d be exposed to.
When I agreed to work for him, I didn’t know I’d see him kill.
And I’m not sure Victoria would be okay knowing her brother tortured and killed a man just minutes before I came in here.
“Sort of. Yes,” I admit. “I know I shouldn’t tell you about this, though.”
“How come?” she asks, concern flickering in her eyes.
“Did you two fight?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s just that…” I pause. How do I explain this?
“I’ve seen Daniel do something I didn’t want to see. Something I can’t process.”
Victoria’s smile softens. It’s comforting. She doesn’t push me. “I understand. You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to. But if it helps, I’ll listen.”
Her words ease the tightness in my chest. “Thank you, Vicky. That means a lot, you know?”
She nods, the kindness in her eyes genuine. “I mean, you’re like a sister I never got to have. I should be there for you, after all.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “Let’s say… I’ve seen Daniel do something. I’ve always known he does things like this. I know what kind of man he is. But in that moment…” I bite my lip, remembering the way he looked.
“He looked different.”
Victoria nods in understanding. She tilts her head slightly. “Different how, exactly?”
I hesitate. Should I say it? Should I call him that? I know I shouldn’t. But it’s exactly what I think. What I feel.
“He looked like a monster. Like someone I couldn’t recognize.”
Victoria sips her tea. “I get it. I really do. I used to think the same way.”
I glance at her, confusion clouding my mind. “You… You know?”
She laughs softly. “Of course I do. I used to look at Daniel, at my dad, at Hayden, and think they were men I couldn’t recognize. There’s been times when I’ve overheard them talk about business, and it changed everything.”
Her voice softens. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Seeing the man you love act like this.”
I look down, unable to hold her gaze anymore. Tears threaten to spill, but I hold them back.
“It just made me feel like… He was so different. I couldn’t even recognize him if I tried. The look in his eyes, before he realized who I was… It was terrifying.”
Victoria nods. “He’s different with you.”
Well, yes. He is. But is that a good thing? What if that’s not the real him? What if the man I love is just a mask?
No. I know him. He’s not like that. But still…
All of this is getting too much.
Victoria looks at me, this time with a serious expression. “See, Daniel shows you his real self. But it’s not all of him. If you saw what I think you did, then congratulations, sister, you’ve truly seen all of him now.”
I roll my eyes, trying to lighten the mood. “Thanks. Appreciate it.”
She chuckles quietly, shaking her head. “Sorry, but it had to be said. I grew up with them. You have to know that even if it seems like he’s a bad guy now, he’d do anything for you. Let’s say you or I were in danger. You know what he’d do?”
I can’t bring myself to answer, so she does it for me.
“He’d kill someone in a second. Just to protect the people he loves.”
It makes my chest ache, the weight of her words sinking deep into my heart.
What if I’m too late? What if he thinks I’ve lied to him?
I feel like a total asshole for leaving.
I promised I’d never leave, no matter what.
But the moment I saw him do exactly what he warned me about, I ran.
I twist my necklace slowly, trying to steady my racing thoughts. “I should talk to him soon.”
Victoria nods, her expression softening. “That’s a good idea.”
We fall into silence, both of us lost in our thoughts. After a while, we get up to get the kids ready for the night.
When Mary and I finally get ready to sleep in the bathroom, the matching pajamas bring a small sense of comfort.
Though I’m not sure I deserve it.
She does, though. That’s all that matters.
Her huge smile when she realized we were matching? It was the highlight of my day.
But as I lie in bed, anxiety twists my stomach. The conversation I need to have with Daniel looms over me. I’m not sure how to start it, but I know I have to do this.
When my eyes close, Daniel’s smell is the only thing still lingering in my mind.
He’s not here yet. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know what he’s doing.
And it makes me feel terrible.
I want to get up and search for him, the urge is almost making me get up and leave, but… I’m scared. I’m terrified of what I might see if I catch him once more in the wrong situation.
Before I can give in to my feelings, my eyes fall closed, my mind suddenly empty. I fall asleep in Daniel’s bed alone, anxious about meeting him again, but wanting to see him so desperately… And confusion about my feelings still linger in the back of my mind.