46. Chapter 46
Chapter forty-six
Day 23 Denali, Alaska
Dr. Brickenhouse walked into Aiden’s hospital room within minutes of Kait and Cosky leaving. The doctor’s arrival was both a blessing and a frustration. Finally, Aiden would get his questions answered. But dammit, he’d planned to sneak off to the cafeteria for some real food. He was fucking tired of bed rest and namby-pamby meals.
“Let me get this straight,” Aiden said once Dr. Brickenhouse finished his update. “All the healings Kait did on me through the years supercharged my immune system and that’s why the bots weren’t able to infect me?”
“That’s our working theory,” Brickenhouse nodded. His face looked less lined and gray, as though he’d gotten some actual sleep. “Although, realistically, the last two healings your sister did prior to your illness probably had the most impact. Your immune system was already supercharged by those healings, which aided your body in resisting the foreign invasion, which in turn prevented the nanobots from replicating and attacking.”
Aiden frowned at that. “You said you found none of those fuckers in me.”
It gave him the creeps to think of the little bastards crawling around inside him, even if his immune system had squashed them.
“True. Initially, we didn’t find any evidence of them in your tissue and blood work. But the samples we took were limited, and there was no way to check your brain other than the CT and MRI scans. The nanobots only showed up on your teammates’ brain scans because of the size of the clusters. However, there was no indication—and still isn’t—of bot clusters in any of your brain scans.” He pursed his mouth before continuing. “As for the rest of your test results, there were no abnormalities in them either…until recently. And even then, only three of the slides showed abnormalities. Three out of hundreds.”
“Abnormalities.” Aiden’s laugh bordered on grim. “Guess that’s one way of describing them. Are you sure the fragments you found are from the nanobots?”
“No. We can’t be certain.” The doctor shrugged. “But they carry some of the nanobot markers. So, realistically, the most likely scenario is that they’re fragments of bots your immune system destroyed.”
Aiden grunted and thumped his head against the pillow. “So, my immune system, which Kait supercharged, just…dissolved them? That’s what you’re saying?”
If Brickenhouse was right, this news put a big damper on the whole inoculate the world idea. If Kait’s repeated healing was why he’d survived the infestation, while his teammates had all perished, then the world was fucked.
Brickenhouse looked tired again, as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Which it kind of was. “It’s unclear how your body eradicated the nanobots. We’re still figuring that out.”
Great. The docs and lab rats didn’t have a clue how his body had defeated the killer bots. Which meant they couldn’t manufacture a cure. Not from Aiden, anyway. He sighed. They needed a fucking miracle. But he’d take that miracle from his quarters, not this damn hospital bed. He swung his legs over the side and stood. Time to facilitate his own release from the clinic.
“Now that you’ve given me a clean bill of health,” which Brickenhouse had done before the conversation morphed into supercharged immune systems, “it’s time for me to bid you adieu . If you need me, you’ve got my cell number.”
To his shock, Brickenhouse didn’t protest. Guess he really was back to normal.
Afraid the doctor would change his mind before Aiden could escape, he hurriedly dressed in the clothes Kait had left him and stuffed his cell in the back pocket of his jeans. He grabbed a vehicle from the charging station in front of the clinic and drove it to the alcove in front of the corridor that led to his quarters.
He was restless when he reached his apartment. Unsettled. A long, hot shower helped some, but he was too wired to sleep. Hell—he didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t want to face those damn stretchy-faced people until he absolutely had to. Besides, he’d slept for days. He didn’t need more shuteye.
What he needed was food. He was hungry enough to eat an elephant. He paced to the tiny kitchen and yanked open the refrigerator. Kait had stocked it with his favorite foods. The space came equipped with a two-burner stove and a microwave, along with a cabinet of pots and pans, and another full of dishes, glasses and cups. He could cook himself something, although that seemed like too much work. It would be easier to head to the cafeteria and grab something there. He called in his order of a double-meat, double-cheese, double-bacon burger with a double order of fries, and smiled in satisfaction when the cook promised it would be ready on his arrival.
After he’d filled his belly, he’d hunt down his big bro and find out what Shadow Mountain intel was doing to locate Kuznetsov’s mistress. He’d check in with Dev too. Maybe Dev’s soups and spooks network could find the woman. Although Dev’s contacts had been wrong about where the Russian had holed up.
Benioko’s informant, on the other hand, had been Johnny-on-the-spot with his information. Aiden had a theory about who that informant was. Kuznetsov’s location had come within hours of his plea to O’Neill in the gym. Hell, maybe the Shadow Mountain outcast really was Stargate. Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to meet with the dude and see if he had more helpful info to pass along. It was time to take a closer look at Nantz Technology, too. The whole fucking camera thing still bugged the shit out of him.
With newfound energy buzzing through his mind, he started for the door. First lunch. Followed by some head rattling. The door buzzer sounded as he crossed the room. Kait, probably, or maybe Wolf. Although Rawlings was a good bet, too. His former CO was a momma hen.
As it turned out, the one person he hadn’t expected was standing at his door.
“Demi?” He stared at her in shock, drinking her in, as he absently raked his fingers through his still wet hair.
She looked thinner. Her face was pale. Her brown eyes were wide and anxious. He sucked in a breath along with the scent of roses from her shiny hair, which looked freshly washed. The scent, so full of memories and emotions, almost drove him to his knees.
For a moment, hope burst hot and wild inside of him. It surged through his veins as powerful as an adrenaline rush. Was Cosky right? Did she— He snapped the reaction off. There were multiple reasons Demi could be standing in front of his door. None of them meant she wanted to take him back.
Hell, maybe she’d dropped by to say goodbye. With Kuznetsov dead, she might think it was safe to head home. His hand lifted, clamping around the edge of the door.
He swore beneath his breath. Yeah, a goodbye was the likely scenario here. His fingers pressed harder against the edge of the door. Dammit, his refusal to let her leave would not help his case—not that he had much of a case to begin with. Or any case at all, to be truthful. But he didn’t want her thinking he was holding her hostage, either.
She couldn’t leave.
Not yet.
It wasn’t safe.
Day 23
Denali, Alaska
“Hey.” Demi stared at Aiden’s hand, which he’d wrapped around the edge of the door. His fingers were turning white. “I hope… I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
She tried for a smile, but felt it tremble and then fade from her lips. He didn’t look happy to see her. His face was tight. His black eyes were flat. And she’d heard him swear beneath his breath when he opened the door.
Was she seeing anger or frustration on his face? In the flat darkness of his eyes? Was he annoyed with her? But why? They hadn’t seen each other since the night they’d spoken and parted ways. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was mad at her for breaking up with him, then sitting beside his bed as he slept, when he couldn’t kick her out of his room.
It was odd, though. She would have sworn relief flashed across his face when he’d opened the door and saw her standing there. But it was gone now. She must have imagined it. Her gaze returned to his hand, studying the way it clenched the edge of the door. His fingers were bleached and rigid. Yep. Sure looked like anger to her. She hovered there, the urge to flee strong. She should leave. He obviously didn’t want to see her.
But she couldn’t. Something, possibly foolish optimism, or perhaps stubbornness, held her feet to the floor.
Olivia’s comment about compromises and heartmates and rare connections had burrowed into her mind like a bunch of ticks and refused to let go. She still didn’t believe in soulmates. But she believed in regrets, and some regrets could eat at a person, whittle away at them year by year. Walking away from him, without talking to him first, without trying to find a compromise, would haunt her for the rest of her life.
“Can I come in?” She forced the question out and braced herself in case he said no.
He stirred and stepped back. Without saying a word, he pulled the door all the way open. A physical, but not a verbal, invitation. Hardly an enthusiastic welcome.
She slipped past him. His apartment was identical to the one Wolf had given her to use. Same galley-style kitchen and combination dining-living room. Same bland, off-white walls with a total lack of prints or paintings. She glanced to the left, where a short hallway disappeared into darkness, and knew she’d find a bathroom and bedroom back there, both bland, both boring. Functional, but with less personality than your average motel room.
Apparently, Shadow Mountain put all their resources into fast planes and top-of-the-line equipment—military and medical—rather than sprucing up their employee’s quarters.
Typical.
“You’ll have to postpone the goodbye,” Aiden said from behind her, a hard edge chilling his voice.
She turned, cocking her head in confusion. He stood facing her with his feet squared, his shoulders back, and a challenge in the tilt of his chin. The steel was in his eyes now, too. Cold. Hard. Adamant. Pure black steel.
“Goodbye? Are you going somewhere?” She took a step back before forcing herself to stillness.
“You’re leaving. Isn’t that why you’re here? To say goodbye?” He didn’t move, yet his body seemed to tighten.
“No, I—”
“Just because Kuznetsov’s dead doesn’t mean you’re safe. Whoever created the nanobot weapon is still out there, still after me. You’re still in danger. You can’t go back to Coronado yet.”
That’s why he was so tense? So cold? “I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t come to say goodbye.”
The news loosened his shoulders. The black ice melted from his eyes. “No? Then why are you here?”
Right. She searched for an explanation that wouldn’t leave her vulnerable. But the only thing that came to mind was what Livvy had told her. Maybe she could use that as a lead-in.
“Olivia was telling me about the gifts the Shadow Warrior and Blue Moon Mother give to their tribal children. She said Kait’s healing came from the mother creator to strengthen tribal ties and that Wolf’s premonitions came from the Shadow Warrior to protect the tribe.”
Olivia’s self-proclaimed gift was on the tip of her tongue, but she shied away from mentioning it. She didn’t want him to think the only reason she was here was because Olivia had convinced her they were soulmates. But avoiding Olivia’s gift left her with no transition into what she’d come here to say, and he was waiting for an explanation. She could see it in the furrow of his brow and the narrowing of his eyes.
Rattled, she threw the first question out that occurred to her. “Do you have a gift like Kait or Wolf?”
The question was supposed to be a throwaway, a means to ease her into a discussion about Olivia’s self-proclaimed gift. And from there, into a serious conversation about whether he felt there was an unusually strong connection between them, which would naturally lead to a discussion about whether they should resume their relationship.
She’d assumed through the years that he didn’t have a talent like Kait or Wolf, because he would have told her. Hell’s bells, it didn’t even occur to her that his answer would be yes, because surely…surely, he would have shared such an integral part of himself with her. Surely, he wouldn’t have hidden something so huge from her.
While he didn’t respond with a verbal affirmative, he didn’t need to. His reaction gave him away and told her everything she needed to know—all of it unwelcome. His gaze widened, then narrowed. Caution touched his face and sank into his eyes. He took a step back.
“Why do you ask?” His words were cautious. And he didn’t deny it.
Her mouth fell open as the painful realization struck that he did, indeed, have a gift. “Oh. My. God. You do.”
He’d always held his secrets close, locked them inside. She’d known that, had known he didn’t share everything, or even most things with her. But she’d thought those secrets were SEAL-related. That they had to do with the secrecy inherent in his career. Missions, locations, targets, timeframes—things that could get him and his teammates killed if they leaked out. She’d accepted all those secrets. She’d even made allowances for the nightmares he refused to talk about since he’d said they were related to his missions.
But this…this…this secret was not related to his SEAL career. This was not something he was forbidden to share. This was a personal secret, something he’d deliberately kept from her.
He knew she knew about Kait’s and Wolf’s abilities. He knew she’d kept those secrets safe. He knew his secret would be safe with her, too. There was no reason for him to hold this revelation back. No reason except for one. He didn’t want to share such a fundamental part of himself. Not with her.
He'd claimed to love her, but he couldn’t. Not when he’d kept her in the dark about this. Trust was tangled with love. You couldn’t have love without trust.
And this secret was such a blazing example of lack of trust.