Chapter 22 - Different World
~ DONAVYN ~
“Furyknight, report,” I muttered as I reached Bren and Terra, standing together in the meadow. Bren’s cheeks were high with color, while Terra’s expression was fierce and disapproving.
I kept checking Bren’s eyes. ‘How bad is it? Ronen said your safety strap was sliced through?’ God, I was so glad I hadn’t been here to see that. I think my heart might have burst out of my chest.
Bren cleared her throat and nodded, stumbling on her words as she tried to reassure me in the bond.
“There was a… a mishap, Sir,” she said, stumbling. ‘I misjudged our position in formation and crossed Sona’s line. It wasn’t her fault.’ “But I am unhurt and—”
Terra gave a furious little grunt. I turned my attention to her. “Report.”
“Sir, Furyknight Kearney is being overworked—which will not make her stronger. She’s being asked to learn tasks without adaptation for her unique build and limitations.
They will be unsafe in the field. And while she’s training like this—which is too much, even for the men, in my opinion—she needs more rest. Not less. ”
I clenched my teeth. “Furyknight Kearney is being prepared for her first mission—”
“With all due respect, Sir,” Terra said through her teeth.
“She won’t make it to her first mission at this rate.
” Then she turned on Bren. “You need more sleep—no more late nights, and definitely not more than twelve hours training in a day. You need to eat more to better fuel your body. You need to add support to the joints on your leathers—and consider gloves with extra grip to make up for your smaller hands if you’ll be doing these ridiculous maneuvers. ”
Her eyes flashed as she returned her attention to me.
“You’re her Commanding Officer, maybe you can make these idiots listen—if she’s to work for the greater good in battle, she needs to be given a role that plays to her strengths in strategy and flight.
Not physical domination. Because if she’s ever caught, she won’t be able to dominate a man. ”
A trickle of cold fear contracted my lungs. “You think it’s not safe for her to fight?”
Terra rolled her eyes. “Of course not! But she’s a woman—smaller framed, less strength, but with greater agility and dexterity for it.
Use her! She will be much better served learning, as we all must, how to talk her way out of dangerous situations, or fly stealth rather than attack.
Teach her how to soothe, or avert conflict, rather than attack it! ”
To my surprise, Terra glanced past me towards the others behind me, who’d gone back to their dragons, then leaned in, dropped her voice, and fixed me with a knowing gaze.
“I know you take an interest in her training, Sir. I hope you’ll take an interest in this: She’s the first of her kind.
Things need to be different for her. Otherwise you’ll lose her. ”
I knew she spoke of a soldier—a woman she wanted to see succeed. But all I heard was, your mate is in danger.
Bren’s words from the night before came echoing back in my head.
“Terra’s telling me to rest and Akhane’s assuring me she’ll help me heal, Voski says I need to be equipped, but no one is listening. I can’t be the reason this mission fails!”
I scratched my face, my cheeks itchy because I hadn’t shaved this morning. ‘Kgosi? What do you think? Have we been approaching this wrong?’
‘Your human ways almost always seem wrong to me, Donavyn,’ he said simply.
I huffed. ‘Thank you, that’s helpful,’ I sent back sarcastically.
“I hear your concerns,” I said to Terra, pressing reassurance through the bond to Bren. “I’ll find a way to balance so she’s getting more rest. But in the short time we have, that may come more after we fly—”
But then, Bren broke in, her tone both firm, and apologetic. “I need you to get me a meeting with the queen.”
I almost swallowed my tongue.
Shoving caution to her through the bond, I turned back to Terra and fought to keep my tone both professional, and emotionless.
“I’ve heard your recommendations, and I won’t ignore them,” I said quietly.
“Thank you, Sir,” Terra sighed. “But, if you could—”
“There is Furyknight business we must attend this evening. I’ll speak to her Wing Leaders, and we’ll consider alternatives.
But I cannot promise that a great deal will change in the short time we may have.
I’m asking you, Terra, to please check in with Bren daily.
Report to me, personally. And if you see sign of any danger to her, or those she might serve with, you tell me immediately. ”
Terra folded her arms. “I will, of course, but I need to emphasize—”
“I’ve heard you,” I said firmly. “Now, please go to dinner. Thank you for your work this afternoon. I’ll speak with you tomorrow.”
She stared me down—I’d given her permission to challenge me whenever she felt it was needed. But I’d asked her to do so in private. I knew I’d likely have a visitor at my office in the morning, but so be it. I just prayed she wouldn’t force me to discipline her here and now.
“Yes, Sir,” she said finally, and I nodded once, turning to Bren and leaving Terra to gather her things.
“Please, walk with me, Kearney,” I muttered. “I think we need to get you back to the Keep where we can speak privately.”
~ brEN ~
Donavyn still hadn’t lost the expression of fierce horror, even after making sure the dragons were safe in their stable, and sneaking me to his apartment.
I was too tired to argue, but I also wouldn’t be moved. So, I did everything he told me—washing so he could check the bruising on my rib, wrapping my knee even though it was already improving, gently rubbing some of Terra’s ointment onto it, and eating everything he put in front of me.
When I was done, he pushed all the food and plates on the table aside and leaned forward, staring at me intently.
“I’m certain I didn’t hear you correctly when you made your request in the meadow, in front of others. So, perhaps you can tell me what it is you’re asking now that we’re here, in private, and there’s no chance of me mishearing?”
I gave him a look. “I said, I need you to arrange a meeting with the queen.”
The horror on his face turned to flat resolve. “Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he growled, looking genuinely surprised.
I folded my arms. “You said yourself, she’s a master manipulator, a quick thinker, and strategic. You said the king even asks her advice.”
“When dealing with issues of the kingdom—”
“You said she’s interested in seeing me succeed as a Furyknight because she wants more women included. She deals with powerful men all the time. I need someone like that to train me.”
“She’s self-serving and guarded and—”
“And I’ll be vulnerable and useless unless I learn how to make people do what I need them to do.”
“No,” he growled. “Not her.”
I bristled. “Terra isn’t right that the training won’t make me stronger.
I know it does. But this stuff they’re teaching me isn’t the way I can be helpful.
” Even though we were alone, I instinctively lowered my voice.
“They told me at the beginning that in this role, I should train to my strengths. Be assigned missions that I’m uniquely suited to.
Well, my strengths are in strategy, and problem solving, and thinking differently than other people. ”
I sat back, chewing my lip. I knew I was right. But I wasn’t sure he’d agree with me.
Donavyn sat back in his chair as well, his eyes dark and intent. “Bren, I don’t deny that you will move differently than a man in this kind of role. But the queen is a powerful woman in her own right, and she’s not to be trifled with—”
“I won, Donavyn,” I murmured.
“Won what?”
I rolled my eyes. “You.”
He frowned. “How is that relevant?”
I felt defensive, and it made me angry. “The queen and I are both women. Women know when another woman has won. I’m telling you, she knows I won you.
You said you were wary of her interest in me, and her insistence on bringing women into the Furyknights and…
the other stuff,” I mumbled. “The only question is whether she’ll still be willing to help me now, or not. ”
Donavyn frowned, rolling his jaw. “She’s very prideful.”
I snorted. “Pride I can deal with—I face it every day. The question is, is she vindictive? Will she pretend to help, but actually hurt me?”
Donavyn looked away, his expression dark with worry. “I honestly don’t think so. She is invested in seeing you succeed purely because you are a woman. She’d been trying to convince the king to bring women into the ranks for a while—”
“Then, please, get me a meeting with her. I need insight from someone like her.”
He stared at me and I could feel him churning in the bond. “I don’t trust her,” he said. “Personally.”
“Neither do I. But that’s exactly the kind of person I need to learn from. And if she has some bigger purpose to achieve, and she thinks my success helps her do that, she’ll help me… won’t she?”
He didn’t respond, but his eyes never left mine. “Bren, what are you doing?” he asked in a low voice.
“I’m trying to become something useful,” I said fiercely.
“And I don’t think any man knows how to help me do that.
Not really. I have so little time. Please, Donavyn.
Just get me in front of her. I won’t listen if she manipulates me about you.
You have my word. I know what she did last time.
I won’t fall for it again. But I need to learn how she reads people like that. ”
He stared at me without responding. I folded my arms. “You say you believe in me, you say you see my strength—I need you to trust me with—”
“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he said slowly. Darkly.
“Yes, it is,” I insisted. “Because you think I’m not strong enough if she tries that shit again.”
“No, Bren. I know you are. It’s me I’m worried about.”
I frowned. “You think you’ll fall for her? You want her—”
“No! God, no. I meant, I don’t trust myself to keep my hands off her if she hurts you like that again. She’s the queen, Bren. She could slap either of us in irons and throw us in the dungeon and no one would question it. She has the right to do that.”
“She won’t, though. She likes you too much, and she’s got an ulterior motive for helping me.”
He sighed heavily and dropped his face into his hands. “Let me think about it,” he rumbled.
“Donavyn, there’s no time.”
He dropped his hands and his eyes were dark on me. “I won’t be disturbing the royals tonight. Please. Let me think it through.”
I sighed, but nodded. Yet, for the rest of the evening, and long after he fell asleep, I considered my other options.
Because I was finally starting to see more clearly. Finally beginning to glimpse what I needed. And if Donavyn wouldn’t get me close to the queen, there was still one way I did believe my brothers’ training could help.