Chapter 35
~ DONAVYN ~
Watching Bren storm out of my office with her chin in the air—without being dismissed—was the strangest combination of pride and fury I’d ever felt. I had to wrestle with it.
On the one hand, seeing her confident, sure of herself and her purpose, was a joy. And a relief. It was about fucking time she started to see herself and her capability clearly.
But now? On this point? When she was under the tutelage of a woman who’d already proven she would erode the bond between us if given half a chance?
I’d known sending her to Diaan was a mistake.
Ironically, under any other circumstances, I would have said the queen was the perfect person to prepare her for what we’d meet in Fyrehold. But I didn’t trust her—and that meant Bren shouldn’t either.
My mate’s confidence might be growing, but her measure of herself against someone like Diaan was still grossly underestimated.
On other hand, she’d slapped me. She really believed I’d looked down on her?
It was true, I could have chosen my words more carefully.
But I wasn’t belittling Bren or her allure.
Quite the opposite—I was protecting her.
She had no idea what she faced when surrounded by bored, powerful, rich nobles accustomed to plucking whatever fruit they desired, whether they owned the tree or not.
Wealth and influence made the entire continent accessible to these people.
They wouldn’t think twice about taking if they believed an offer was so much as implied.
Hell, some of them didn’t need an offer at all.
She thought I demeaned her? Not in the slightest. I knew the men she’d face and how they thought. And I would do anything to keep her safe from them.
Being seen as my companion would offer her some protection, simply by virtue that the men wouldn’t wish to anger Alexi by offending me.
They knew he and I worked closely, and trusted each other.
It was the only reason I was willing to walk with her into this mission at all.
Because I knew those men would step more carefully.
I also knew that her presence as someone unattainable would only whet their appetites for her. And given the general disdain for monogamy among the noble classes, if they believed she was open to a scandalous affair…
Even a man with some self-control might move then.
The thoughts whipped through my head in a blink. Her clipped footsteps were still audible in the hallway outside when I took a step towards the door—then caught myself.
I wanted to chase her. But I couldn’t be seen to pursue her down a hallway here, where an officer or instructor—even the ranks—might step into our path. And my cheek still stung where she’d slapped me, the skin humming with heat.
Besides, we both needed a few minutes to cool off and remember we were in this together.
Reluctantly, I reached for Kgosi.
‘Are you in the stable?’
‘Yes.’
‘I think Bren is on her way to Akhane. Can you tell me when she arrives safely?’
There was a hum in the link, his curiosity and cautious disapproval. ‘She won’t tell you herself?’
‘You mean, you weren’t invading my head just now?
’ I sent dryly. Gritting my teeth, I replayed the exchange to him and felt his disapproval increase.
Whether for me, or Bren, or both of us, I wasn’t sure.
And frankly, I didn’t want to ask. ‘If you could urge Akhane to keep her there for a few minutes, I’ll come when she’s had some time to calm down—’
‘I don’t believe that would be wise, Donavyn. Let Akhane soothe her first.’
I pursed my lips. ‘We humans aren’t like you, Kgosi. She won’t be happy to let this sit, and given that we could get word to fly any hour—’
‘I don’t warn you for Bren’s benefit, Donavyn. You are agitated—and that is the worst time to speak with a female, especially one wounded as Bren has been. She will absorb your tension. It will not go well.’
I huffed. ‘It already hasn’t gone well.’
Kgosi rumbled in the bond, but didn’t respond. I began to pace my office, frustrated and angry and a little bit afraid. My dragon didn’t speak. But I felt him there, observing me. Waiting.
That made me clench my teeth.
When he murmured that Bren had arrived and was curled up with Akhane, that he was leaving the two of them to speak and soothe each other, I had to fight not to rush down there.
‘Do you and Akhane argue, Keg?’ I blurted, clawing a hand through my hair.
‘Not in this way,’ he returned without hesitation.
‘We battle different intentions and drives and must negotiate. Especially on timing. My mate is impulsive at times,’ he said with more warmth and affection than longsuffering.
‘I’m certain the day will come that we disagree outright.
But so far, our hearts are unified. Because we aim for the same goal. ’
‘As do Bren, and I.’
‘Do you?’ It was a simple question. Not an insult. But my hackles rose anyway.
‘Yes. We do. We both want to succeed in this mission, to see her valued for her skill, and to return safe.’
‘Yet you grow angry with each other over these very points?’
‘We see different paths to the same goal. That’s all. Don’t you and Akhane sometimes see different flight paths to the same destination?’
‘Never. There is always only one best route, and we both choose that.’
I swung between eye-rolling disbelief, and a humbling conviction that my dragon didn’t lie.
It was a frustrating truth that these creatures lived in a state of both faith and self-certainty that most humans would envy.
I couldn’t deny the truth of it, because Bren and I both sensed it in them.
It was the grounding nature of a bond with a dragon.
A certain clarity that came with their foresight and faith.
And now, with our matebonds entwined, the dragons brought a oneness that kept all four of us together in a way I knew other Furyknights didn’t enjoy.
It was part of why I’d hidden my desire to slay Ruin from Kgosi—I didn’t want to blacken that cord that bound all of us. And I hadn’t wanted Bren to feel that rising desire for violence, and fear it would be used against her.
‘Donavyn, the time has come that we should speak.’
His tone drew me up short.
It wasn’t a request.
It was the second time in recent weeks that Kgosi had instructed me, used his dominance and power to quell my will. My pride bristled against the constraint. I was not a child to be ordered around, and neither was I without my own authority.
But this was Kgosi.
I knew he felt the battle waging within me, and as was his way, he didn’t attempt to persuade me, only sat back and waited to see how I would respond.
The time has come that we should speak.
This wouldn’t be a discussion on the practicalities of our job, or even unsolicited advice on how to manage my matebond.
My wise, ancient dragon believed he needed to speak with me.
The bond between us had always run deep in my soul, but with the introduction of Bren and Akhane, Kgosi and I had spent little time focusing on each other.
Now my dragon called me to account. I’d feared it before I’d been forced to reveal my plan to Bren—and then worried he’d berate me once I did.
But he’d remained mostly quiet on the point, knowing I’d abandoned the plan since the men were already removed.
Nerves chittered in my chest, though I couldn’t have said why.
I knew Kgosi would never abandon me. Was it only his disapproval I feared?
I shook my head, but it was little more than disappointment in myself. ‘Now?’ I asked.
‘Yes. Meet me in the launch hollow.’
It had been many years since I’d walked a hall with that pit in my stomach, heading towards a meeting with a superior in which I knew they’d assert their authority, and I would have to accept it.
But it was that same sense weighing in my chest as I marched out of my office and down the hall, to meet my dragon outside.