Chapter 13
W hen I woke in an unfamiliar room, my mouth as dry as sand, coated in something foul, and my head throbbing in agony, I knew only one thing—I would never drink again. Upon further inspection, I was able to infer that I was in Zorinna’s room. The fine clothes and jewelry laying atop the dresser were decent indicators, though the head full of wine red hair just to my right was the dead giveaway.
My stirring had apparently roused her from her slumber, as she grumbled incoherently and propped herself up on her elbows. The vicious glare sent my way had me shrinking and wrapping my arms around myself. Why was I in Zorinna’s room? The more I tried to recall, the more my head screamed in protest.
“I’ll have you know,” she started in a deep voice, still groggy with sleep. “I have never once had to strip and dress another being… not even my idiot, lush of a brother, who frequented the taverns of Val’Naeris so often he’d have been better off living there.”
My cheeks burned—a mixture of shame and embarrassment over her seeing me nude, or extremely close to nude, at least. “I am so sorry, Zorinna.”
“I won’t mention it to Kallistra, so stop giving me that sad little face.” She pulled the covers off of herself and slid off the front of the bed so that she wouldn’t have to crawl over me. “Next time a creepy guy won’t leave you alone, you grab your dagger and stab him right in the thigh. Got it?” She made a show of the motion and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes, I understand.” I remembered most of the encounter with Silas and Evander. It was after that bit that I couldn’t recall as clearly…
Silas’ incessant questioning had been odd and certainly bordering on pushy, but I had not gleaned anything dangerous about him. It wasn’t until he’d spoken to Alandris so gruffly and had attempted to grab for me that I’d recognized something was off with him.
Perhaps he’d intended to separate me from my friends so he could rob me. He wouldn’t have gotten much. Though, I suppose that may have angered him to the point of violence, considering how quick he was to reach for his sword. I was relieved that I hadn’t been left alone.
“You owe Alandris and Kaz your apologies as well,” Zorinna said, removing her nightgown and shimmying into her leathers. I diverted my gaze. “I’m pretty sure Alandris set that pathetic man’s hand on fire. And Kaz was about to chop his head clean off of his shoulders. Oh, that would have been delightful to watch.” She remembered herself. “But apologize!”
“God…”
“I would’ve stepped in,” she added, “but they seemed to have it under control, so I figured I’d enjoy the show. My methods would have been quite a bit more bloody, anyway. Definitely would have gotten us kicked out of the inn.”
I dragged my hands down my face, burying my head in them. This was horror. Absolute horror.
“Don’t look so glum. It made me like you a bit more. It was humorous to witness you drunk.” She threw me a wink as she headed for the door. “You’re not so bad when you let loose. You seem nervous to do that around Kallistra.”
Kallistra. Oh God, Kallistra.
Zorinna left me alone in her room, and I took a moment to fix my disheveled appearance as much as was possible. I opted to change back into my clothes from last night rather than return to my room half exposed in the nightgown I’d been lent. My hair was a knotted mess, so I borrowed Zorinna’s brush to attempt to tame it. After splashing some water on my face, I was ready. As ready as I could be for who I needed to face.
I was not surprised to find Kallistra awaiting me in our room, arms crossed in front of her chest. What surprised me was that she rushed to me and threw her arms around me. I’d been expecting a dagger to the head. Some less than tasteful words. Not a hug.
“Nairu…” she mumbled into my hair. “You scared me to death.”
In my shock, I stood there, not returning the embrace. Her words, the shaken, wobbly voice with which she spoke them, prompted me to wrap my arms around her waist. How long had it been since we’d hugged like this? Not since before our pilgrimage had begun. Maybe even since before we’d fully recognized our roles. A simpler time, when we were just us. Not Keeper. Not Goddess. Just Kallistra and Nairu.
She pulled back enough to look at me face to face. “I’m sorry for the things I suggested last night. You’re right, Nairu. We don’t have to become cruel... We can try this thing with the Fae. I’ll find some sort of excuse if our village questions it. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”
I wanted to believe her. The apology appeared sincere. The hurt in her eyes was real.
“I’m sorry, too.” I took a step back and glanced at the floor. “I’ve been short with you. I’m having a hard time with this lately.”
“It’s okay. It’s alright. We do it together.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Please don’t leave like that again. When Kaz came to the room late last night to tell me you were staying the night with Zorinna, I was on my way out to search for you. I wanted to give you space, but it had been hours… ”
It felt wrong to lie, but things were finally going better, and I didn’t want to ruin our reconciliation with tales of my drunken adventures. “I just needed time to think. She offered to let me stay with her for the night.”
“It was strange. We’ve not been apart ever, have we? Not even as children.”
All throughout our childhood, Kallistra and I had shared a room. Her family had raised me, and we’d spent nearly every moment together. Even now, during our travels, we always shared a room. It was cheaper, but it also felt natural. Last night was the first time Kallistra hadn’t been within arm’s reach. It was a bittersweet feeling. Freeing, but lonely, too.
I wished I could have my friendship with Kallistra without the burden of our village’s expectations, but I didn’t know if that was possible. Would she even choose me—if it were a choice between me or her duty to them? Or was our friendship dependent on my cooperation? Deep down, I knew, and that only made that loneliness fester.
I gave a half smile. “Yes, it was strange.”
Kallistra offered to finish packing our bags while I headed downstairs to grab something quick to eat. My mouth was still impossibly dry, and I was an awkward combination of both starving and repulsed by the idea of food. We had a long day of travel ahead of us, though, and not eating would be a mistake. I would force myself to nibble on some dry bread or pastry, even if my stomach churned at the thought .
As I finished climbing down the stairs, I noticed Alandris sitting at a small table by himself. He waved me over, spotting me immediately. The embarrassment over my actions from the night before almost had me turning around and running right back up the stairs, but I mustered the courage to go take a seat across from him. At least I could get my apology out of the way.
And then promptly ignore him for the remainder of my life out of shame.
“Help yourself,” he said, pointing to the small assortment of breads, tarts, and honeyed fruits in front of him.
I picked out a mild looking bread. “Thank you… and I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows raised. “For?”
He was really going to make me say it, then. “Behaving… unfavorably.”
“Ah. That.” A humored smile crept up to his face. “Consider it my fault. I should have been mindful of your low tolerance, but I was distracted by the game. Before I could recognize it, you’d downed several glasses.”
I chewed my bottom lip. “Yes, well, it was very sweet… and delicious.”
“Those are the ones that sneak up on you. Drinking Kaz’s sewer water ale may have been best after all.”
“I think so.”
The smile fell from his face then, replaced with a far more serious expression. “Had you ever seen that man before? The one from last night. Silas.” He seemed disgusted to even speak his name, it falling from his tongue in a hiss.
I shook my head. It’d been my first time meeting either of the two men who’d joined us.
Alandris brought a finger to his lips, pondering. “Hmm… Well, if you see him again, let me know right away. Something felt off about him. His line of questioning was strange to begin with, but the way he kept looking at you… I don’t know. I know you’ve mentioned that people don’t always react kindly to your appearance, but this seemed different.”
“He probably wanted to fuck her.” Zorinna chuckled, plopping down in the seat next to me. She flicked a berry into her mouth. “You worry too much.”
There was no hiding the blush that spread across my cheeks, nor the fit of coughs as I choked on my bread.
Alandris cleared his throat, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I am being serious, Zorinna. The last thing we need is to be tailed by those two. He clearly wanted to separate her from our group. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes another attempt while we are on the road.”
“So am I.” Zorinna shrugged. “Men are simple creatures. They drink and they fuck. If they fail, they move on to the next thing with legs. You’ve spent too much time at the Mages Consortium, locked up with your books and scrolls. Perhaps you’ve forgotten.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to imply something? Because I am seriously not in the mood. ”
A devilish grin appeared on Zorinna’s face. “No, of course not.”
“How did you ever become a lady of the court?”
“Oh, please. Don’t make me watch my mouth amongst friends.”
I wasn’t sure I was following their banter, nor was I sure I wanted to. Thankfully, Kallistra and Kaz arrived moments later, with our gear in tow. It was time to depart.
The first portion of our journey would be in the back of a merchant’s wagon, whom we’d paid to take us as far as his next stop. After that, we would be making the rest of the trek on foot. Alandris had explained that, based on the information he’d received, it would take us about one month to arrive at the location of the cave. This was, of course, assuming we kept a moderate pace and made no stops, which was our plan.
I knew well from my travels thus far with Kallistra, things rarely went according to plan. Sometimes it was a sprained ankle, other times it was a bad berry that had you vomiting on the side of the road. I also had no idea how quick of a pace our companions could keep. It was one thing to be good with a sword or magic, but walking for hours and hours on end was an entirely different challenge. One that I had become skilled at. I’d prepared myself with enough supplies to be on the road for at least two months, just in case.
I would miss Fernfallow. The Minstrel’s Menagerie. There had been so many firsts for me here. The first time I’d stood up for myself. The first time I’d chosen something for myself. My first comrades. It was as though during the initial three years of my pilgrimage with Kallistra I had just been going through the motions, following her lead. Now, things were different. These people I’d met had changed me, and I had no intention of going back. I wasn’t the obedient doll I had been raised as. I was coming into my own, and Kallistra would have to accept that. I would not play the role of the perfect Saintess, and I would not hide anymore.
As I observed the town of Fernfallow gradually vanish from sight, my head nodding with each jolt of the wagon, I experienced something I hadn’t experienced while traveling for a long time. Excitement.