Chapter 15
D renched in a cold sweat and shaking uncontrollably, I shot up from my bedroll, scanning the darkness of night enclosing me, for something to bring me back to reality. For the past eight days of travel, I’d had the same recurring nightmare each and every time I fell asleep, but tonight’s nightmare had differed from the others before it. Though similarly vivid, the people within my dream weren’t changing this time, only the scenarios were. I steered clear of mirrors, reflections, anything that offered the possibility of catching a glimpse of what lay inside. It had worked for seven nights, but tonight…
Alandris was awake on first watch, his face barely visible in the dark of night. Only the light of the moon shone down on him, but it was enough for me to catch his gaze resting upon me. He motioned for me to take a seat next to him, and I obliged, crawling out of my bedroll to meet him. Anything would be better than being alone, trying to force myself to stay awake. I didn’t dare risk shutting my eyes again, not if it meant those images would flood my mind once more.
“Did you have a bad dream?” Alandris questioned in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the others.
I scrunched my eyes closed, grimacing as the nightmare came back to me.
“Nairu! It’s time to go!” a woman dressed in rough leathers and a plum-colored cloak called out to me. Her walnut brown hair hung just past her chin in tight curls, her skin a shade of deep bronze. I was certain it was the same woman I’d seen in my dreams the last several nights, though I had no clue who she was outside of them.
“Kyra?”
She sucked her teeth and twirled her finger around one of her curls. “You’re joking, right? Now is really not the time for this.”
I ignored the woman, taking in my surroundings. We appeared to be in an inn room of some sort, judging by the worn-down furniture and lack of décor. Outside of the singular window in the room, the streets were bustling with people running about. It seemed we were smack dab in the middle of a market district in yet another unknown city. It was warm and dry. Perhaps we were further south?
“Come on, Nairu!” Kyra whined, opening the door. “This is our last stop. Aren’t you excited? We will get to go home soon.”
With no other options, I followed Kyra out. She led me by the hand through the packed crowd, down a number of back streets, and toward a small building the same color as the sandy mountains in the distance. I was unable to decipher the strange, weathered symbols carved on the staircase that spiraled down to the front door.
“Nairu, this temple is one of our people’s last sanctuaries. I’ve been told stories of the priestess here since I was a little girl. If anyone can help you, it’s her.” Kyra rested a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be afraid. You were born for this.”
As I pushed open the door, the overbearing scent of patchouli and another herb I couldn’t place assaulted me. The room was swirling with smoke, making it difficult to see. Judging from what I saw, the place bore no resemblance to a temple. It was tiny and rundown, riddled with cobwebs and dust, and filled with only a couple of wooden benches, save for the shrine at the back of the room. The shrine, similarly, wasn’t in the best shape. The cracks and crumbling were so severe in some parts that it was difficult to distinguish the image of the God it represented.
From the back room emerged a woman dressed in tawny robes, with various tools hanging from her leather belt. Silky black hair, tucked behind her ears, fell just past her waist. Oddly, she looked very young for someone who was supposed to be famous amongst her people since Kyra was a child. She was stunning, too. A perfectly sculpted face with eyes the shade of marbled jade. The juxtaposition between the woman and the space in which she resided was incredibly jarring .
“Nairu.” She clasped her hands together. “I’ve waited ages to see you. It’s a shame that it’s taken us this long to get together. My name is Nissia.”
“I, um… yes, it is lovely to meet you.”
Nissia turned to Kyra. “Has she not started to…?”
Kyra shook her head. “No, she hasn’t. It’s been slow the last few times… We were hoping you could help.”
I picked at the skin of my fingers. I wanted desperately to ask them what they meant, but at the same time, I didn’t want to know, and I didn’t want to listen to another lie. I was aware that this was a dream, but it felt so real. They had the potential to provide real answers for me. But I couldn’t. I simply lacked the bravery to open my mouth and speak.
Nissia smiled and nodded her head. “Nairu, why don’t you kneel in front of the shrine? I will light the incense and we can begin.”
I obeyed her command, dropping to my knees on the cold stone floor. I rested my hands on my lap as the aroma intensified and my mind grew weary. Something felt off inside of me. My magic was practically humming beneath my skin. It was becoming difficult to breathe—from the smoke or something else entirely; I wasn’t certain.
Nissia brushed the hair from my face and whispered, “Don’t fight it. The more you fight it, the more pain it will bring you.”
Nissia placed a bowl of water in front of me, and I didn’t have a chance to look away before I caught my reflection in the pool. I froze, unable to look away as my face twisted and contorted into the same evil image that I had seen in the mirror on the night of my first veritable nightmare. It grinned, looking at me with wild eyes, before its voice began to echo in my mind.
We are so close to achieving what we must do.
I struggled to rip my eyes from the bowl.
Stop running from me. I am inescapable.
Regardless of my utmost efforts, I was unable to budge even slightly. I was straining to push away the bowl, so I wouldn’t have to see the image and hear its wicked voice. I wanted to wake up. Needed to wake up.
Aren’t you tired?
I was. Tired of traveling. Tired of training. Tired of not knowing why. Tired of living the life I led. But I knew this voice was hoping for that. It was poisoning my mind to wear down my will to carry on fighting. Why? I didn’t know, but I knew I wouldn’t allow that to happen. I would not be so weak as to succumb to its lies.
It was that conviction that finally broke its hold on me. “I will NOT listen to you any longer!” I shouted, raising the bowl and slamming it back down onto the stone floor. The clay shattered into pieces and scattered across the floor. A few shards pierced into my skin, sending beads of blood trickling down my legs. Ignoring the pain, I stood.
“N-Nairu…” The priestess looked on in horror. “What have you done?”
“Nairu?” Alandris whispered. “Did you fall asleep? ”
I opened my eyes with a gasp. The nightmare had differed from the others I’d experienced. It felt like I’d been there—the real me. It was as though my current thoughts and emotions were overlapping with those of my dream self, blurring everything together to the point I couldn’t differentiate between the two. Which feelings were my own, and which were hers? A nightmare within a nightmare.
“Nairu?” he repeated.
I shook my head. “Sorry, I was just remembering it.” I leaned back and looked toward the star-filled sky. “I get them often. This one was particularly odd, though. I’m not sure what—”
“Wait.” Alandris cut me off sharply. He looked like a hawk, scanning the tree line around them.
I listened closely, but nothing stood out to me, only the usual sounds of insects chirping and the leaves rustling in the wind. Still, I readied myself on the chance that Alandris had caught something different that I hadn’t detected.
“Stay here,” he commanded.
I watched as he made his way to the forest edge to the west of us, his hand gripping the dagger at his side. I toyed with the thought of waking the others up, and the thought of following him, but either way, I envisioned myself being scolded, so I stood and waited. I patiently waited until I perceived a soft clicking purr, the noise of branches breaking, and witnessed fire burst forth from Alandris’ hand.
Before I had a chance to wake the others, Alandris’ voice boomed. “EVERYONE UP! ”
The quickness with which they rose to action was impressive. Kaz was halfway across the field before I could even register what was happening. I heard an arrow knock behind me. Zorinna, too, had wasted no time pulling her bow. Faster than all of them, though, was Kallistra, who was planted in front of me with daggers drawn in each hand before Alandris had even finished shouting.
“Stay behind me and don’t move an inch,” Kallistra warned.
“But you have to help them!”
At least six creatures had emerged from the trees. Though humanoid regarding their body shape, the resemblance stopped there. Their skin was a milky white color, covered in hundreds of red eyes, looking like pustules ready to burst. Though they stood on two feet, six more appendages burst from their skin, three on each side of their waist—like the arms of a spider. I had read of them in books—Visumena. Rare, supposedly.
I waited more seconds than I’d wanted to for Kallistra to budge, and when she didn’t, I rushed past her toward the tree line, ignoring the curses that flowed from her lips the moment she saw me bolt. There wasn’t time to think about the consequences of my actions, about whether I could even tap into my magic successfully. Two of the Visumena made a rush toward Kaz, two scuttled past them all in the direction of the camp, and two locked their focus on Alandris. It wasn’t until I heard the horrendous clicking noise that I noticed another had come forth from the trees and was headed straight for me .
A bird would not help me now. I needed raw, pure energy. I imagined my shadows more like a whip, lashing out from my palms. As they struck the creature’s chest, leaving a gash in the flesh, the creature let out an ear-splitting screech. It charged at me, and with no time to react, the creature tackled me to the ground, its maw snapping dangerously close to my face. I struggled to avoid the strange viscous fluid dripping from its fangs.
My head was swimming from the blow of smacking against the rough ground, but I knew I couldn’t lose consciousness, or it would be the end for me. I gritted my teeth, digging my nails into the shoulders of the Visumena, using every ounce of strength in my body to hold it back. I attempted again to channel my magic into my hands. When the Visumena’s screeches grew so loud my ears felt as though they would burst, I knew I had succeeded.
The monster thrashed on top of me, desperate to escape my clutches, as black tendrils traveled all across its skin. I dug my nails deeper and deeper, refusing to let it get away. Now able to sit myself up into a less vulnerable position, I focused my energy further, allowing it to fester. It felt like minutes, but could only have been seconds, before the creature went limp in my hands, succumbing to death. Sucking in a shaky breath, I shoved the Visumena’s body to the ground next to me and forced myself to my feet.
I scanned the area for my companions, finding Kaz just ahead of me, swinging with vicious strength at a Visumena in front of him. The body of another lay in bloody tatters at his feet. Just beyond him, Alandris was fending off two of the creatures on his own. Two more burnt bodies scattered behind him explained the putrid smell of singed flesh. More must have emerged to attack him. I worried that wouldn’t be the last of them, either. I had to help.
Alandris turned only for a split second as I approached, his eyes widening. In shock or worry, I couldn’t tell. My shadows responded, as if with a mind of their own, lashing out at the Visumena to Alandris’ left. It turned its attention toward me, instantly forgetting him. I was its new target, and it was furious with the slice I’d carved into its skin.
The Visumena clawed at me hungrily, just grazing my shoulder as I dodged out of the way. I was sloppily stumbling over myself, and the throbbing in my head was growing worse. I knew I wouldn’t win in a war of attrition; my body would give out on me far quicker than the Visumena’s. I had to end this now, with one powerful blow. Mustering up every last bit of energy I possessed, I shot forth a blast of raw power. With no time to move, the creature took a direct hit to the chest. A vicious screech erupted through the air as it collapsed to the ground, curling into a ball.
I fell to my knees, the world spinning around me. I held one hand out in front of me and found it entirely consumed by dark tendrils. The price of using my power. I hadn’t noticed the pain of tapping into my magic this time. The other wounds on my body had been distracting me. The adrenaline. But now that I’d had a moment to look at myself, the pain came rushing to me all at once. And it was too much. Everything faded to black.