Chapter 11 #2
We'd just finished the last stall when the sound of a motorcycle announced Felix's arrival. I looked up to see him pulling into the driveway, his dark hair windswept and his grin wide as he spotted us.
“Well, well,” he said, killing the engine and climbing off. “Harper Walsh doing manual labor. Never thought I'd see the day.”
“I'm full of surprises,” I said, leaning on my pitchfork like it was the only thing keeping me upright. Which wasn't far from the truth, my legs felt like jelly.
Felix's gaze swept over me. Sweaty, dirty, clearly exhausted, and his grin widened. “You look good like this. All rugged and outdoorsy.”
Heat crept up my neck, warming my cheeks. “I look like I rolled around in a barn.”
“Nah. You look cute.” He winked, and I saw Connor's spine stiffen in my peripheral vision, his shoulders drawing up tight. “Connor's got you doing his dirty work already? That's cold, man.”
“She volunteered,” Connor said, his voice carefully neutral.
“Did she now?” Felix moved closer, and there was something assessing in the way he looked between us. Like he was reading a situation I didn't fully understand. “Well, I'm here to help with the horses. Unless you've got Harper doing that too?”
“Harper's done for the day. She needs to rest.”
“I'm fine—” I started to protest.
“You're exhausted,” Connor said firmly, his eyes finding mine. “Go inside. Take a shower. I'll make lunch in an hour.”
I wanted to argue, but my arms were trembling, and my back was screaming, and the thought of a hot shower was suddenly the best thing I could imagine.
“Okay,” I conceded. “But I'm helping again tomorrow.”
Connor's expression softened, tension draining from his shoulders. “We'll see.”
I handed him the pitchfork and started toward the house, acutely aware of both of them watching me go. Of Felix's knowing grin and Connor's careful concern and the weird tension that had been humming between us all morning.
The shower was glorious. Hot water soothed my aching muscles as it washed away the smell of dirt and horse. I stayed under the spray longer than I should have, letting the warmth seep into my bones and unknot the tension in my shoulders.
By the time I emerged, clean and dressed in soft leggings and an oversized sweater, I felt almost human again.
I found Connor in the kitchen making sandwiches. Felix was there too, leaning against the counter with a beer even though it was barely noon.
“There she is,” Felix said. “Survived your first day of ranch work. How do you feel?”
“Like I got hit by a truck.”
“That's normal. Give it a few days and you'll build up calluses.”
“I don't want calluses.” But I was smiling despite myself.
Connor set a plate with a turkey sandwich, chips, and an apple in front of me without a word. Just that same gentle care he'd been showing all week.
“So, Harper,” Felix said, taking a swig of his beer, “you doing anything next week?”
I blinked at the sudden change of subject, nearly choking on the sip of water I’d just taken. “Um. Not that I know of.”
“Anna and Jaxon mentioned going to that new Italian place in town. Salvatore's, I think it's called. Asked if I was interested.” He paused, his dark eyes studying me. “I was thinking…would you want to go? Make it a double date kind of thing?”
The question hung in the air.
I felt Connor go still beside me, the air around him changing.
He kept his face neutral, staring at the sandwich he was assembling, but I could see the subtle shift.
His movements became more deliberate, more controlled.
The muscles in his forearms flexing as his grip on the knife tightened almost imperceptibly.
My mind raced, trying to figure out how to respond. Felix was nice. Funny. Objectively attractive. And he was looking at me with that easy grin, waiting for an answer. Going out with him would be…normal. A normal thing that normal people did.
People who weren't living in their friend's guest room after losing everything. People who weren't being threatened by mysterious arsonists and ex-girlfriends. People who had their lives together.
But all I could feel was Connor's presence beside me. The tension radiated from him in waves.
“I—” I glanced at Connor, trying to gauge his reaction, but his face gave nothing away. Say something. Tell me what you're thinking. “That's…I mean…”
Come on, Harper. Use your words.
“Sure,” I heard myself say, because I didn't know how to refuse without being rude or making things awkward, or admitting that the person I actually wanted to go to dinner with was standing right next to me looking like he didn’t care another man was asking me out. “That sounds fun.”
Felix's grin widened. “Yeah? Great. I'll let Anna know. Friday night, probably around seven?”
“Works for me.”
“Perfect.” He drained his beer and set the bottle on the counter with a sharp clink. “Alright, Whitaker, let's get back to work. Those horses aren't going to train themselves.”
Connor nodded stiffly and followed Felix outside without looking at me, his shoulders rigid as he walked away.
I sat at the kitchen table, my sandwich untouched, and watched through the window as the two of them walked toward the barn.
What the hell just happened?
The rest of the afternoon passed in strange, careful politeness.
Connor came back inside around two, dirty, tired and still radiating that subtle tension that made the air feel charged. We ate leftover pot roast for dinner that Anna had dropped off yesterday, insisting that “boys can't cook properly” and talked about nothing important.
Never about Felix. Never about the date.
Never about the weird, loaded thing hanging between us that neither of us wanted to acknowledge.
By eight, I couldn't take the awkwardness anymore. The way Connor was being completely closed off, so different from how he'd been before Felix asked me out.
I found him in his office doing paperwork, and knocked on the doorframe. He looked up, and something flickered across his face. Surprise, maybe, or something deeper, before he schooled it back to neutral. “Hey. Need something?”
“Are you mad at me?”
The question clearly caught him off guard. His eyebrows lifted slightly as he sat back to look at me. “What? No. Why would I be mad?”
“Because you've barely talked to me since Felix asked me out. And I know you're upset about it even though you won't say anything.” I crossed my arms, feeling heat rise in my chest. “So either tell me what your problem is or stop acting like this.”
Connor set down his pen carefully, too carefully. “Harper, if you want to go out with Felix, you should go out with Felix. You're a grown woman. You don't need my permission.”
“I'm not asking for permission. I'm asking why you're being weird about it.”
“I'm not being weird.”
“Bullshit.” The word came out sharper than I intended, but I was done with him shutting me out. “Connor, you've been distant all afternoon. Cold. Like you're upset but trying to hide it. So what's your problem?”
“I don't have a problem.” But his voice was tight, controlled in a way that said he absolutely had a problem.
“You're a terrible liar.” I moved closer to his desk, frustration bubbling up. “We've been friends for years. You think I can't tell when something's bothering you?”
“Harper—”
“No. Don't 'Harper' me.” I planted my hands on his desk, leaning forward. “You're mad that Felix asked me out. Just admit it.”
Connor held my gaze for a long moment, and I saw something raw flicker in his brown eyes. Something that looked almost like pain.
“Fine,” he said finally, his voice low. “You want me to admit it? Yes. I'm bothered that you're going out with Felix. Happy?”
“Why?” I pressed, even though my heart was pounding. “Why does it bother you?”
“Because—” He stopped, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It just does, okay?”
“That's not an answer.”
“It's the only answer I've got.”
“No, it's not.” I straightened up, my hands curling into fists at my sides. “Connor, if you have something to say to me, just say it. Don't shut me out and act like nothing's wrong when clearly something is.”
He stared at me for a long moment, jaw working, and I could see the war playing out behind his eyes. Whatever he wanted to say fighting against whatever was holding him back.
“Get some sleep, Harper,” he said finally, a clear dismissal. “You had a long day.”
The frustration that had been simmering in my chest flared hot. “Are you seriously doing this? Shutting down the conversation instead of actually talking to me?”
“There's nothing to talk about.”
“There's clearly something to talk about.” My voice rose despite my efforts to stay calm. “You're upset. I'm confused. And instead of being honest with me, you're treating me like some stranger you need to be polite to.”
“Harper, I'm not—”
“Yes, you are.” I cut him off, anger making my words sharp. “We used to be able to talk about anything. Now you can't even tell me why you're bothered that I'm going on a date. What happened to us?”
The question hung in the air between us.
Connor's expression shifted to something pained. “A lot of things happened. We both know that.”
“So talk to me. Stop shutting me out.”
“I'm not shutting you out.”
“Then what do you call this?” I gestured between us. “Because it feels a lot like you're pushing me away while trying to pretend you're not.”
He stood up from his desk, and suddenly he was close. Close enough that I had to tilt my head back to look at him. Close enough to see the conflict in his eyes.
“You want to know why it bothers me?” His voice was rough, barely above a whisper. “Because every time I see you with Felix, every time I think about you going out with him, I want—” He stopped, jaw clenching. “It doesn't matter. You should go out with him. He's a good guy. He'll treat you right.”
“That's not what I asked.” My heart was racing now, pounding against my ribs. “Connor, what do you want?”
He stared at me for a long moment, and I saw something raw and vulnerable flash across his face, something that made me want to stop breathing. But then he stepped back, putting distance between us, and the moment shattered.
“Get some sleep, Harper. We'll talk later.”
It was the same dismissal. Even though it was gentler, it still felt like a door closing.
I wanted to push. Wanted to make him actually talk to me, make him admit whatever he was feeling that was making the air between us crackle with tension.
Except I was tired. Bone-deep exhausted from the day and the emotional whiplash and all of it.
“Fine,” I said quietly. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Harper.”
I left him in his office and went upstairs to the guest room, my mind racing and my heart aching in ways I didn't want to examine too closely.
I laid in bed with one thought repeating through my mind as I stared at the ceiling.
Connor didn't want me to go out with Felix. And I wasn't sure if the flutter in my chest was anticipation for the date or anticipation for what might happen before then.