Chapter 20 #2
Akim just nods, knowing there's no disputing my plan.
I see so many emotions on her face, and for the last time, I hook my pinky finger with hers and murmur, so only she can hear, "I wasn't joking earlier.
You deserve someone who'll worship the ground you walk on, and even if I'm not that man, this is me fighting for you.
To give you a choice. To give you a chance at that wonderful life I know you should have. "
Tears well in her eyes and she shakes her head in denial, but she knows it's the right moment. A sound like a whimper escapes her, piercing my chest.
"Akim, come on!" I bark at him as he unties a little boy from his bindings.
I look at the boy, surely no more than twelve, and taking the grenade from my back, I place it in his hand.
"If something goes wrong, pull this pin and throw it at anyone who gets in your way. Clear?"
His face is caked with dirt and scratches, but when his gaze meets mine, I know this basement has forced him to grow up prematurely, like all the others.
"I promise," he says solemnly.
I approach a girl who seems to be the oldest, probably about thirteen, and give her one of my knives.
Her gaze is so empty I want to shake her just to make sure she's here with us, but when she sees the knife in her hand, a spark, a glimmer, enters her eyes, and she just nods.
I won't be with them physically when they escape, but if anyone gives them trouble, I want them to have a fighting chance.
I can't stay here any longer. I need to get them out of this house.
One day it won't hurt so much . The mantra I've repeated for so many years tastes bitter, but it's my only consolation.
I need to return to the main hall to help the other soldiers defending the property. Not that I care about protecting this cursed house, but Ivan will expect me to be there, like an obedient heir.
I look at Akim and see he has the same look as me. He knows the procedure for these situations and that we have a short window of time in which to act.
The commotion from upstairs grows louder, so I signal him to climb the stairs and point to the right. He understands what I want. He'll take Julia and the children that way, toward the kitchen exit, while I'll head to the hall to keep our "guests" occupied.
When Julia notices they're going in the opposite direction from me, she stops, and I hear her whisper.
"Maksim, thank you!"
Thank you. Two words that plunge a dagger into my chest, but I don't show it. I just nod and leave. I can give her that much. A start. A few precious minutes to escape this hell.
I barely step into the main hall when I hear a sentence that stops me cold.
"The old man isn't here, sir."
I want to correct him, but even if I told them where to find Ivan, the bunker he's in only opens biometrically with his eye. And even if they used dynamite, that bunker would remain standing.
From outside, I hear gunshots, and I pray it's not Akim and Julia on the receiving end.
In the next moments, I raise my weapon and aim. I don't know what these people want here, but they could have hurt her . They could have taken her from me.
When all three bodies are lying in a pool of blood in the hallway, no longer breathing, I lower my gun.
Agonized screams echo from the entrance, and I raise my weapon toward the top of the stairs, trying to hit the individuals who've riddled our men with bullets.
Within minutes, no one remains upstairs, and I signal all soldiers to disperse. There must be more intruders in other rooms.
She's gone.
I know physically I need to move. I know exactly 230 seconds have passed since she left through that door, and though she'll never know it, I still hear myself whispering, "Come back, Julia!"
Why the hell can't I breathe? Why does my entire chest sting?
The sound of bullets hitting walls echoes from upstairs. In a few minutes, they'll find me, and if I don't move, I know what the result will be. These people came to exterminate. To kill. To wipe out everything in their path.
I should move. I should go on the offensive. I should...
But my heart, which has chosen this exact moment to start beating, feels like it wants to burst from my chest with how much blood it's pumping. Why does it hurt this badly? Why does it feel like someone has taken this wretched organ and embedded glass shards in it?
Move.
The voice that has kept me alive whispers to me, but somehow I ignore it.
Because it's the same voice telling me I'll never see her warm eyes again.
I'll never watch her split a sandwich cookie in two, just to eat the cream first. I'll never see her jump in excitement every time she takes the machine gun and hits a moving target.
She'll never intertwine her fingers with mine again. And somehow all these things make me realize that I don't want this.
I don't want this life without these things. I don't want to continue if she's not beside me, stealing my pillow, telling me I'm cheating because otherwise there's no way she wouldn't win a single card game.
But no. She deserves more than this life.
She deserves to walk peacefully down the street, next to a normal man, next to someone who isn't defective from birth.
She deserves everything, and all I have to offer is a big nothing.
Because she has so much love to give, and she'd only waste it on someone like me, whom no one has ever wanted permanently in their life.
I hear footsteps behind me and know that in a few moments, it will all be over.
"Any last wish?"
The voice is harsh, and I can sense the smile on his lips. Killing Maksim Rastovski, son of Ivan Rastovski, will probably earn him a big bonus.
I could turn around and in three seconds he'd have two knives in his throat. But why do that when she moves farther away from me with each second? When she approaches the life she should have.
I'm sorry, Vera, but this time I can't go on.
I don't answer the guy, just wait for him to end this existence. Maybe in another life I'll meet her again. Maybe .
All I register is the sound of a bullet, and I wait to feel the pain, to feel the burning where the metal has pierced my body, but nothing happens, and for a moment, a very brief moment, I wonder if this is the mercy the universe has granted me.
I turn suddenly when the voice that has haunted all my dreams, all my existence in the last two years, sounds from behind me.
"What the hell is wrong with you? HE ALMOST KILLED YOU!" Julia screams, rushing toward me and shoving me.