Epilogue
Raven
The Eiffel Tower caught my eye as I gazed out of the window. We were staying in a lovely suite in the most luxurious hotel, and after three days, I still wasn’t bored with the view.
My phone pinged, and I glanced at the screen, wondering if Glynda had replied to my last message, but no, it was a news alert. Someone had carried out an audacious robbery at the Louvre, the city’s most famous gallery.
My jaw dropped in shock. Millions of dollars of priceless jewelry stolen in under four minutes. That was…impressive. Then a shiver ran down my spine. Kenji had popped out an hour ago. He claimed he wanted to check out the Mona Lisa, which sounded unlike him. Oh my goddess!
“Kenji? Where are you?!”
“I’m busy right now. Please leave a message after the tone…beep…”
What if the human authorities caught my kitsune?
A portal appeared at the far end of our hotel room, causing me to drop my phone in surprise.
“Miss Blackstone, I’m calling in my first deal.”
Dragging my attention from the doom spiral I’d fallen into, I focused on the fae. The late evening sunlight hit his pretty hair just so.
If I were a weak-willed female with low self-esteem, I’d be swooning about now. But since I knew what a scumbag the fae was, I ignored his questionable surface charms and reminded myself the male was an ass of the highest order.
Farris refused to meet my eyes as a gulf of silence stretched between us.
Stars above. Was he about to ask me to do something illegal?
I regretted not reading the small print of the fae bargain he’d scammed me into signing.
Was there a fae equivalent of the Better Business Bureau I could file a complaint with? If not, there needed to be.
Stress was bad for witches, so I took a deep, calming breath and faked a serene smile.
“What do you need from me? Got a friend you’d like to resurrect? Or an enemy to melt? As you know, both are within my wheelhouse these days.” I let a small smirk escape, gratified at the way he tensed. Farris might think he was a big cheese, but if he pissed me off, I’d fry his skeevy fae ass.
To my surprise, instead of a snarky riposte, he sank into a chair and sighed as if the weight of the realm pressed down on his broad shoulders.
“I have a delicate, um, problem…”
“Oh my goddess, have you caught mage lice?” I gave the fae what I hoped was a sympathetic look because, mage lice…eww…those little critters were relentless. Or so Zane had informed me one time, apropos of nothing.
Farris stared at me in horror.
“No! Why would you think that for fuck’s sake?”
“Um, because you’re a fae slut with exceptionally low standards?”
He glared at me with the heat of a thousand suns. Hmm, perhaps I ought to recalibrate the filter between my brain and mouth before the fae compelled me to do something morally questionable in order to complete my end of his scam bargain.
“Let me clarify what I meant,” I continued with a bright smile. “We all make mistakes when choosing romantic partners, and that’s okay. Mistakes teach us what not to look for, such as mentally unwell incubi or overly possessive bear shifters with OCD tendencies.”
Two males growled and grumbled in my head, but I ignored them.
“I totally get why you might have fucked half the realm in your pursuit of true love. Nothing says mommy issues like seeking love in the wrong places, a.k.a., spending too much time with sirens.”
Farris uttered a few creative fae curses under his breath. Curses I couldn’t understand because I didn’t speak fae.
“He says you’re the most irritating witch in the realm and if he didn’t need your help, he would hire a fae assassin to blast your ass into the afterlife,” Kenji helpfully translated.
“Wow, that’s a bit harsh. Fae assassin? Really?” Not that I was worried. Hell no. Dad would send hellhounds after the fucking fae if he tried to put a hit on me. And hellhounds trumped fae assassins any day of the week. Those beasts never quit once they locked on a target.
I reached out and gave Daisy a head scratch. Her leathery skin creaked and cracked as she puffed happy smoke rings into the air, making me cough a lung up like I had a serious witch weed habit.
Farris shuffled back in his chair. He wasn’t a fan of my precious hellhound baby. Few people were, which made me sad. Daisy might look scary, but she had a heart of pure marshmallow.
“Raven, I’ll get straight to the point before I lose my ever-loving mind from listening to your inane nonsense. I need your help with Glyn.”
My mouth fell open in surprise. He needed my help with…Glynda? As far as I knew, my bestie was on vacation, living her best life. She’d not messaged for a few days, but we’d both been busy lately, so the radio silence from her end hadn’t concerned me.
“Help? Why?” I squinted at him in confusion. Daisy lifted her giant head and rumbled out a warning. She always knew when I was upset and often jumped straight to kill-mode before I could calm down.
Unsurprisingly, that had caused me more than a few issues in the local dog park. The chihuahua mommy from the other day had been unimpressed when Daisy swallowed her baby whole. Luckily, Daisy coughed it straight back up after I threatened to send her to Dad for a time-out. No harm done.
Phew.
Farris gnashed his teeth, and from his pained expression, he needed a bathroom break. Long seconds passed with no further information.
“You better not have hurt my bestie,” I growled when my patience ran out. I swear to the goddess, if that fae bastard had harmed a hair on my friend’s head, I’d melt him. And in my experience, melting someone into a pile of goo meant resurrection was impossible.
“Of course I haven’t hurt her!” he yelled while raking his stupidly pretty hair into spikes.
One day, I promised myself, I’d make an appointment at a fae hair salon and ask them to fix my current hair disaster caused by setting my hair on fire during a recent practical magic lesson. Zero out of ten, would not recommend.
“You don’t need to fix anything, my queen,” Rasmus purred in my head. “You’re the most beautiful female in the realm.” Goddess, my vampire was such a sweetheart. Farris could stand to take notes.
“Not physically anyway,” the fae added.
“Okay, so you haven’t injured her cute little body.” I glared at the fae, wishing I had mind-reading abilities. Goddess, wouldn’t that make my life easier!
Or not. Eww. Farris’s mind was likely a fetid sewer of unmentionable filth. Maybe I wouldn’t want to go there after all.
“Of course not,” he huffed.
“So what’s the fucking problem?” My exasperation with the fae knew no bounds. Did he not understand how busy my life was these days? My Tbr pile was getting larger by the minute, plus Daisy was due for a walk. Oh, and Fig was due for his tenth meal of the day.
The hotel we were staying in did room service, but Fig had grown bored of the menu, and I’d been forced to explore other options. It turned out a growing monster pig’s appetite knew no bounds.
“She refuses to talk to me.”
“And?” How was that my problem?
“If I don’t produce my bride within seven days, the Autumn Court will exile me from the fae realm, and I’ll die a slow and painful death.”
I blinked. “Wait a hot minute—you married my best friend?”
“She’s my soul-bonded mate, so yes. I married her during a period of alcohol-induced insanity, but now she hates me because I downplayed our relationship when we bumped into my parents.”
Farris slumped down in his chair with a miserable pout.
If it had been anyone else, I’d have sympathized with his plight, despite knowing zilch about stupid fae customs. But because it was him, I had no sympathy whatsoever.
And besides, I had a kitsune to interrogate, so wrapping up this bullshit was a priority.
“Who do your parents think Glynda is if not your wife?” I made sure not to show my anger at his shitty behavior. Murdering the fae was no longer an option if what he said was true. If I killed the bastard, I would risk killing my bestie.
Although, I mused, I could kill him and then resurrect him a few minutes later. Hmm. Perhaps that would help to cure my rage?
“Happy to assist,” Zane offered. “Brenda could do with a workout.”
“My concubine,” Farris coughed out.
My jaw dropped upon hearing he’d told his parents that my best friend, a witch with a heart of gold, was his side piece. Yeah, Farris was a dead fae walking. Glynda would thank me. I’d sell it to her as an early winter solstice gift.
“So I’m calling in my bargain.” Fae magic sizzled in my blood at his words. “You will help me make things right with Glynda.”
Damn the fae. Now I had no choice but to brush up my relationship counseling skills. Fuck my life.
If I couldn’t fix the mess Farris had created, I would fall foul of the stupid fae bargain. And if I recalled correctly, failing to meet my end of a fae bargain meant certain death.
Could I resurrect myself if I died?
I guess there was only one way to find out…
The end.