Chapter 38 #2
Moving around the counter, he takes the plates. “Does it help if I tell you I have money? He would never need to work if he didn’t want to. I can take care of him and you ten times over.”
She pats his side. “Money is nice, and you also have a big dick, which is good, but we’ll see. You’re still on probation.”
Rolling my eyes, I smile at Noah’s understanding look as he focuses on washing dishes like his life depends on it. It’s sweet how he’s trying to earn her approval. When I walk into the room, she winks at me, and I smile as I sit down.
Once Noah has cleaned up, he brings me a cup of tea, kissing my head before he sits and my grandma dishes out dessert.
“So why were you angry anyway? I caught some of your foreplay before I let myself in,” she remarks as she takes a bite, and I choke on my own mouthful of pie.
Noah smacks my back and hands me some water before cleaning my face. “Grandma,” I hiss.
“What? I have to have some fun at my age. Don’t use that tone with me. Who are we killing?” she asks innocently.
“No one,” Noah scoffs. “Besides, you shouldn’t talk about killing people so openly. No wonder he takes after you.”
“Boy, I am over halfway to the grave. What will they do? Throw me in jail until I die? I’d run that fucking yard, so I’ll kill someone if I have to. Now, tell me what happened.” She points at us, and Noah spares me a look.
“You definitely take after her.”
“Good, she’s my role model.” I grin. There is no one stronger or smarter than my grandma.
She’s been making work her bitch since she was young.
Even when she was not supposed to be independent or have her own thoughts growing up, she did.
She left her family, refusing to marry, joined the Army, and then started her own business.
She never relied on anyone. She’s a total fucking badass.
I hope when I’m her age, I’m half as accomplished and happy as she is. Her reminder sours my mood though.
“His parents,” I answer, and then I dive into the whole thing, telling her everything. I don’t leave anything out, since there are no secrets between us. I need to tell her about Conan as well, which makes me worry because meeting one boyfriend is enough for one day.
She eats as she listens, and I know I’m ranting, but I can’t stop. The more I talk about it, the angrier I get on Noah’s behalf. Can’t they see how unhappy they are making him?
“And his parents, Grandma!” I rush out. “They kicked him out, just like that.” Sitting back, I cross my arms, and when she exchanges a glance with Noah, my eyes narrow in irritation. “What?”
Shaking her head with a smile, she pats my hand. “You’ve been ranting for an hour. Feel better?”
“No,” I grumble as I look at Noah and find him staring at me with a soft look in his eyes. “Why aren’t you madder?”
“I always knew my parents loved their business and name more than me. It’s what I grew up with. It used to hurt, and I used to wish I were enough, but that’s a child’s dream, and if I never get my hopes up, then I’m never disappointed.” He shrugs.
“Liar,” I whisper as I look into his eyes. I see the truth he tries to bury. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been happening. It hurt you. You don’t have to pretend it didn’t. You are allowed to be angry at your parents for not having your back, Noah. You are allowed to be upset.”
“No,” he murmurs as he cups my face, “because all I knew is my family could not handle one more bad thing happening. I had to be perfect, had to be everything they needed. I had to be someone they didn’t worry about.
It wasn’t until I met you, Mackie, that I realized I was allowed to do what I wanted.
I love that you’re angry on my behalf. I love that you care so much you stood up to my parents when no one else ever has.
I used to resent my parents for not loving me enough, but it made me who I am.
I’m independent, and I know my own dreams. Yes, I wish they would understand and support me, but I don’t need them to.
I have you, someone who will always be in my corner.
You’re my family, Mackie. I don’t need them. ”
“Well, that’s fucking adorable. That’s a point in your favor, boy.
” My grandma nods. “I think your parents do love you in their own way. Maybe they think they know better and are trying to protect you and your future, just in the wrong way. I say you should hear them out and tell them how you feel. At least then you will all be on the same page. Take it from me—life passes in the blink of an eye, boy. It’s too short to stay angry or hide how you feel.
I wasn’t always the best mother.” She blinks.
“And when I lost my son, it destroyed me. I thought back on everything I wish I could have said to him, everything I could have done better. I promised him and myself I would raise Mackie better, so he would never want for anything, but sometimes it takes the stark truth for you to see that.”
“Grandma.” I lay my hand over hers. “Dad loved you so much. He was so proud you were his mom.” My eyes burn as I speak about him, and I see her own glistening.
“He did, but I made a lot of mistakes with your father, boy. I wasn’t always the perfect mother.
He forgave me because it’s who he was, and I was lucky enough to be in your life.
He never told you because he didn’t want you to hate me.
I loved your father more than anything else in the world.
He was my reason for living, but I didn’t always show it, and now he’s gone, and it’s my biggest regret.
No parent should have to bury their child, and I live with that pain. ”
Sometimes I forget that although I lost my parents, she lost her son.
“Whatever you did, he forgave you. He loved you and looked up to you. We’re human. We make mistakes,” I murmur, tears slipping down my face. “He loved you, Grandma. You were his mother, and he loved you.”
“No matter what you did, you shouldn’t regret it.
It seemed to have strengthened your bond, and from what Mackie told me about your family, he’s right.
Your son loved you very much. He wouldn’t want you beating yourself up over some mistakes.
It’s human to error, but to admit it and change who you are for the better shows true courage and love,” Noah says.
The noise she makes breaks my heart, and I wonder how long she has lived with this guilt. Tears slide down her cheeks, and I hate the pain she is in. She’s always been so strong, she never let me see her grief. She focused on me, and I wonder if she ever truly let herself feel it before now.
“Enough of this mushy shit, you pussies,” she mutters, wiping her eyes discreetly.
Ignoring her words, I walk around the table and hug her, laying my head on her shoulder.
“Mackie,” she admonishes, but then Noah joins us on the other side, hugging her, and she shakes in our arms, patting our hands. “He’s still on probation.”
We all laugh.
“I am so grateful you are my family,” I tell her. “I can’t bring him back for you, but I promise you’ll never be alone. I’ll love you enough for both of us.”
“And besides, you have a whole garage of sons to look after,” Noah murmurs. “I’m sure they’d love your cooking, and with your potty mouth, you’d fit right in.”
She laughs again, and her smile is like sunshine breaking through a cloudy day.
In my kitchen, something heals in both of us, and I think in Noah as well.
An unbreakable bond forms between the dismissed son, the orphaned son, and the grieving mother.