Chapter Thirty
Grayson
“It was a good party last weekend,” Knox states as we sit on the mountain overlooking Ashwood Creek.
It’s one of my favourite spots to come and think.
I’ve been here countless times with Macie and Laynie, but right now, I needed to be with someone I could confide in without being teased or gossiped about.
My feet kick nervously as I lean back on my hands, taking in the view. It’s one of those perfect winter days when the sun is weak but shining down over everything, the land glistening like diamonds. Fields of grass, trees swaying in the breeze, and cars rumbling below. It’s perfect.
“Yeah, it was,” I murmur half-heartedly. As a whole, it was great. Exactly what I wanted when I was younger, but Laynie… that was hard to hear.
Knox turns to me, his boots digging in the dirt as he drags a hand through his dark, short hair. “Did you get anything good?”
I snort. “Yeah.” I hold up my new helmet. “This one doesn’t have a dint in the side.”
“That’s a positive,” chimes Knox, taking it from me.
I let out a breath and lean back on my hands again. Knox’s stare is on me, and I peer sideways to see him wrestling with a thought.
“What is it?”
“Well, I don’t want to impose, but is something bothering you? I’ve become a pro at picking up emotions, especially after my dad left.”
Chewing on my lip, I nod. “Yeah. Something happened.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
My throat works as I sit up, dusting off my hands. “Something happened between Laynie and I.”
That grabs Knox’s attention. His eyebrows rise to his hairline. “What?”
“Well, we kissed.”
He gasps, and I smother a laugh. Macie would gasp as well if she found out. “That’s awesome.”
I give a small wince.
Knox’s brows drop. “Not awesome?”
“I mean, it was great. Exceeded my expectations…”
“But?” he drawls.
I sigh. “What happened after wasn’t as awesome.”
His face falls. “Oh.”
My jaw ticks. “She told me she’s not sure if this is what she wants. For us to be together.”
“What?” Knox exclaims, almost falling off the edge of the mountain. I hold onto him. He settles beside me, digging his heels in the dirt. “Why wouldn’t she?”
“Because of the baby.”
We’re both quiet for a long minute, the sound of birds flying above all I can hear, along with my heartbeat. Knox speaks up, “I kind of get that.”
My brow lifts. “You do?”
He nods. “Yeah, I mean, she’s probably scared.”
“I bet she is. I am too.”
“Yeah but think about it. She told the dad and he didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby.” I stare at him, trying to understand where he’s going with this train of thought. “Maybe Laynie is scared that you’ll do that same thing?”
I shake my head. “But I told her I wanted to be a part of this.”
“Yeah, but what happens if you decide not to? What if something comes up? If you find someone else.”
My chin drops. “You think she’s too scared to let me be a part of this because of what Scott did?”
Knox shrugs. “It’s possible. I mean, look at my mum. Dad left three years ago, and she won’t even look at another man who isn’t her friend because she’s scared of being left again.”
I run my hand down my face. “You’re making sense, kid.”
He shrugs. “I’m just trying to help, like I do with my Mum.”
“Is she okay?”
Knox lifts his shoulders again. “She will be. Eventually… Probably when she has her bookstore up and running.”
My teeth bite at my bottom lip as I pull out my phone from my pocket.
GRAYSON: I have an idea for the ranch. It’s a bit different, but how would you feel about sponsoring a bookstore that needs to be built?
“What are you doing?” Knox asks as I get to my feet, brushing dust off my jeans.
“Just texting my brother. Are you ready to head back? Paisley will be here soon.”
I slip on my helmet and lead Knox back down the mountain onto our property. There are some slippery patches and puddles still lingering from the rain overnight, but we get back to the ranch in one piece.
“I’ll see you next weekend?”
“You bet.”
We fist pump, and Knox scampers off to Paisley’s car as I put the bikes away.
Heading into the main house, it’s unusually quiet for a Sunday afternoon, but nonetheless, I’m quite happy. I have some things to think about.
Walking into my bedroom, I find Mum fussing over my bed sheets, which are buried under a pile of unfolded clothes.
My bad. I’ve never been the tidy one of the family, but to me, it’s organised chaos.
Sometimes I forget if the floor is carpet or floorboards.
They’re floorboards, and I only know that because of Reid and Holden’s rooms being polar opposite to mine.
There’s a variation of things scattered on the floor, bed, and cupboard; clothes, hats, various charging cords, a pack of cards, a belt, and…
a book? Hmm, I forgot to return that one to the library during the week. Crap.
“Hey, Mum,” I say gently, not wanting to startle her.
Turning, Mum gives me a flat smile, and I frown at her lack of energy. “Morning, sweetie. Just trying to…clean up here. You really need to tidy all of this.”
“Yeah, I’ll send Reid up here,” I say nonchalantly, waving a hand. “Are you feeling okay?”
She scoffs lightly, but it does nothing to settle the burning in the pit of my gut. “Yeah, just a headache. It’s wearing off now.”
My head tips back as I rest my hands on my hips. “You really need to get them checked out. This isn’t normal.”
Her head shakes, short blonde-grey hair swishing around her collarbone. “I’ll be fine. It just happens when you’re older.”
“Mum.”
“I’m fine, Grayson,” she argues lightheartedly, but I’m not pushing this aside anymore. It’s been going on for almost four years now.
My head shakes. “This isn’t fine. I think you need to see someone.”
“It’s just a headache.”
“But what if it’s not just headaches? What if it is something more serious?” I bite out.
The harshness of my tone makes her freeze, brows rising a little. I open my mouth to apologise for my tone, but she lets out a small breath. “I didn’t realise that this was so concerning for you, Gray.”
“I just—I don’t want to think—” My voice cracks faintly like a vintage cassette. “I don’t want to lose you, Mum.”
“You’re not, sweetie.” I’m wrapped up in her arms, my heart thundering. “I promise you that it’s nothing bad. But if you’re this worried about me, then I will make an appointment to see someone. Okay?”
I exhale slowly, nodding. “Thank you. I worry about you because Reid has struggled with migraines his whole life. What if it’s the same thing?” Or what if it’s worse? I can’t bring myself to say that out loud, but from the way she’s looking at me, I can tell that she’s thinking the same thing.
She nods again, kissing my forehead before dropping back down onto the heels of her feet. “I’ll get it checked out. I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry,” I murmur. “You’re my mum, of course I worry.”
“I know, dear. I’ll book something today and get it looked at, okay?”
My chin dips. “Okay.”
Rubbing at my chin, I decide to take a shower while I’m up here. I need to warm up anyway after that conversation. I’m just praying that Mum sticks to her word and makes that appointment, because if it was something serious…
Grabbing some clothes from the new pile she left on the top of my dresser, I head to the bathroom.
Stripping off, I turn on the water. I hear my phone vibrate.
Stepping in, I wash under the steady stream of hot water, steaming up the small room.
By the time I get out, it’s like the bathroom is full of fog.
I can’t even see myself in the mirror. Wrapping a towel around my midsection, I step out and reach for my phone.
I needed time to think about everything.
Mum. Laynie. The baby. Honey Haven. Knox.
No wonder my mind is aching.
Picking up my phone, my heart thuds the moment I glimpse the message, and I can’t stop the smile spreading across my face as I reread it several times, excitement bubbling inside me like champagne.