Chapter Thirty-One
Laynie
The machine beeps as Fiona snaps some more measurements and photos. Mum holds onto my hand, staring at the screen as I cry silently. I thought I would only tear up the first time, but I was wrong. This is just as beautiful as the first appointment.
“That should be enough,” Fiona states, not taking her eyes off the screen as I hold in my pee so tightly that I think I might combust.
I have never been so happy to hear the words, “You can relieve yourself,” in my life. I ran out of there as soon as I could.
Returning to the room, Mum waits for me at the chair. I sit back down and she takes a hold of my hand.
“Why are we waiting in here?” I ask.
“Fiona told us to. Maybe she has something for us?”
That makes my pulse leap. Is it good or bad?
Before my mind has time to spiral, Fiona steps through the doorway carrying a stack of papers in her scrubs. “Oh, good, you’re back.” Settling in her chair, she turns to Mum and I. My hand tightens around hers, and I hear her swallow.
Something doesn’t feel right.
“By this time, the baby should be between a range of length,” Fiona begins. I bite down on my lip to keep it from shivering. Why’s it suddenly so cold in here? “I took the necessary measurements, and your baby, while healthy, is smaller than we would like.”
A lump knots in my throat, and I try swallowing it down, but it doesn’t budge. “Smaller?” is all I get out.
Fiona nods.
“What does that mean?” questions Mum, whose grip on my hand doesn’t falter.
“Well, it’s something we’ll need to monitor for now. It’s nothing to be too concerned about, but it is something I have picked up which might lead to problems the further you get in your pregnancy.”
My heart jumps into my esophagus as my knee jiggles anxiously. “What problems?” I squeeze out.
Fiona looks at Mum, giving me a moment to try and collect my breathing that’s quickened. “Early birth is highly likely, for the baby’s safety. Then there’s also the rare chance of organ damage or decreased oxygen, but again, those don’t seem to be an issue right now.”
“Right now?” I murmur, trying to catch her words as my mind reels.
Something might be wrong with my baby?
“Yes. I suggest that you come in once every two weeks for now, and then weekly when we get into the third trimester. This is to monitor your baby’s growth and vital signs to avoid anything else happening.”
My chin dips as bitter bile crawls up my throat. Fingers shaking, I try clamping them shut in an effort to control them, but it’s useless against my burning anxiety. Spine trembling, I feel the uncomfortable heat crawl up my neck.
“A good indicator that your baby is growing is movement. Have you had a lot of movement?” Fiona asks.
My head shakes stiffly. “I haven’t really felt it yet.”
She hums, and I feel the bitterness in my throat. I turned to the side of the bed, vomiting into the small bin that luckily was sitting in the right place. Mum’s hand is on my back, rubbing soothing circles as I empty my stomach. Fiona grabs me some water and tissues.
“Sorry,” I mumble, sipping on the drink that cools my swirling insides.
Fiona gives me a small smile. “You’re fine. It’s a lot to take in.” I nod. “As I was saying, movement is the best indicator. I want you to start tracking it on your phone, every time you feel a kick or something, because we need to know this.”
I nod, glancing at my phone to see a notification that stands out among the dozens of others.
BLONDIE: I know you’re taking your time, and I respect that. Macie told me about the appointment. I hope it goes well.
Sniffing, I look away and Mum pulls me into her arms. Fiona continues to talk about what’s going on and the possible side effects.
By the time I’m overcome with tears, both from the news and Grayson’s message, Fiona holds up a small yellow envelope and smiles.
“I also have good news, if you want to find out the sex of the baby?”
My throat swallows as I grip onto Mum. I could know. Boy or girl? My heart tells me it’s a boy, but everyone else thinks it’s a girl.
Sniffing, I shake my head. “I don’t want to know.”
“Are you sure?” Mum asks gently.
I nod. “I want to wait to find out.” It feels like the right thing to do.
“Waiting is always fun, it’s my favourite, but we always offer it to those who want to know. But if you’re happy for another surprise”—I don’t miss the cringe in her brows—“then I will put this in your papers.”
“Thank you, Fiona.”
“No problem. I will see you again in two weeks, okay?”
Nodding, she hands me a small card with the time and date of my following appointment, and Mum leads me out of the hospital. Sitting in her tiny car, I pull out my phone and reread Grayson’s message three times before texting Macie.
LAYNIE: I have some news about the baby.
LAYNIE: It’s smaller than they’d like. There might be some complications, but they’re not sure yet. I have to track its movements in the meantime.
MACIE: Oh, I’m so sorry, L.
MACIE: Are you okay?
MACIE: I’ll come see you as soon as I lock up GH.
LAYNIE: Thanks. I don’t want to be alone right now.
MACIE: I’ll be there asap.
MACIE: Have you told G?
LAYNIE: Not yet. I think it’s more of a girl thing right now. We’ll discuss more when I see you.
Macie’s in my arms as soon as she pounds the door down. Mum was startled with how loud Macie’s fist could be, but she pushed past her, tackling me in an embrace that brought tears to my eyes.
“It’ll be okay,” she reassures me, a hand stroking down my back. “I promise you it will be.”
“I hope so.” My voice is hoarse from crying the entire drive home. “Thank you for coming over.”
“Do you think I would leave you to deal with this on your own?”
I snort a snotty laugh.
Mum and Dad appear in the living room. Dad gives me another hug, kissing my hair, before Mum swoops in, doing the same thing.
My baby might not have its dad, but it’s surrounded by people who love it and me.
“We’re going to run to the store. What do you feel like for dinner, Laynie?” Mum asks, surprising me.
Clearing my throat, I answer, “Can you please make some pasta? Bolognese?”
“Sure.” Dad grins, cupping my face. “I can make that for you, kiddo. We won’t be too long.”
I sit down with Macie on the couch, Freddie purring away at my ankles, and relay everything Fiona explained to Mum and I.
She gasps and tears up, making me cry once again as we hold each other. “It’ll be fine, Laynie. I know it will be.”
I sniff, my shoulders shaking as I pull back to wipe under my eyes. “I just have to pray that this baby starts moving.”
“Does music help?” she asks.
I blink at her, making sure that Macie is being genuine and not joking. “I don’t think so. It’s not like there’s a club in there.”
She chuckles softly. “I mean maybe some classical music could get it grooving?”
I huff out a breath, “Maybe I’ll try it.”
Macie grins as I pull my hair out of my face and take her hand in mine, avoiding her gaze. “There’s something else I need to tell you, but you can’t tell anyone. Not even Reid.”
She bites the inside of her cheek, nodding. “I won’t tell anyone.”
I mustered up all my courage, my foot moving nervously, as I murmur, “Grayson kissed me.”
“What!” she shouts, the word echoing through the house. It’s loud enough to startle Freddie, who is getting comfortable on my lap. “When?”
I swallow. “The night before his birthday party. While we were at the bakery.”
She stands. “You waited this long to tell me? A week and a half later?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” I retort.
Macie sinks back down, her face stunned like a fish. “You kissed him back, right?” My chin dips in a nod, and I watch her face light up. “This is amazing. You and Grayson, together finally after—”
“We’re not together.”
She pauses. “What? Why not?”
My eyes drift to my stomach that’s half buried behind Freddie’s fur. “Because I can’t do that to him. Not with the baby.”
Macie frowns. “What do you mean because of the baby?”
“It’s not his, Mace.”
“So?”
I sigh. “I can’t bring him into this, because…”
“Because?” she pushes.
“What if he leaves me like Scott?”
Macie’s warm features droop, her shoulders sinking. I wriggle my toes, keeping my anxiety at bay as best as I can.
“Do you really think he would do that to you?” she asks warily. “Because the Grayson I know wouldn’t. He adores you, L.”
“But adoring isn’t always enough,” I breathe, wiping my eyes again.
“My biological father adored Mum. He was obsessed with her. Asking her out weekly until she agreed to go on a date with him, and the moment she fell pregnant with me, what did he do? He asked if she needed to keep me, and then he skipped town, leaving Mum to go through all of that alone.”
Macie shakes her head. “Grayson isn’t your dad, and he’s not Scott. He’s his own person, and he’s good. You know that.”
A sob escapes my throat as my lips tremble. “I want to think that, but all I can think about is what if he leaves? I wouldn’t be able to deal with that.”
She is silent for a long minute, her fingers stroking my hair. “What if he never leaves?” My ears perk up. “What if Grayson is who you are meant to be with, but it just came in a different order?”
“Do you really think that?”
She shrugs. “It’s up to you, Laynie. I’m not here to tell you what to think or do, but in my opinion, Grayson is exactly who you need.
He’s hard-working, he takes care of you, and he will take care of your baby, even if it’s not blood related.
I mean, look at Levi. He loved your mum and took you under his wing like his own child, and you see him as your dad.
Why can’t Grayson be like that for your baby? ”
I sniff again and nod. Macie always knows how to talk sense into me while I’m spiraling.
“You should talk with him about this. Lay it all out there. What have you got to lose?”
“My best friend,” I whisper roughly.
Macie smiles and shakes her head. “I don’t think so. I think your anxiety is holding you back from being completely happy, and Grayson is who will. Make. You. Happy,” she punches out, her finger poking my thigh with each syllable.
I swallow and nod again, hands digging through Freddie’s fur to ground myself.
“You’re not going to lose him, and do you know how I know that?”
“How?”
Her smile deepens. “Because he has asked me every single morning and evening about you since he found out about your baby, Laynie. He wants to know everything. He wants to be a part of its life.”
I choke on another sob as her arms curl around my neck. “I didn’t know that.”
“He didn’t want me to tell you. I think he wanted to give you some space to figure all of this out, but he loves you, Laynie. And he loves your baby—”
She’s cut off by her phone ringing. Sighing, she tugs it out of her jacket pocket before declining. “It’s just Reid. He can—”
The calling starts again and she frowns at the screen.
“Maybe you should get it.”
She shakes her head. “If it’s important, he’ll call again or he will text me. I want to—”
Her phone lights up a third time, and I watch Macie freeze.
The Lawsons have only a few rules in their household.
One is no shoes inside. The second is to always respect each other’s space.
The third, and possibly the most important, is phone calls.
If you’re calling to chat, only call once.
A second time is for something urgent or business related.
But a third time is reserved for emergencies.
My throat bobs as Macie answers, “Reid?”
I can hear him on the other end of the line, but I can’t make out the words, but from the look on Macie’s face, I can tell that something bad has happened.
“Where is she?” Macie asks, shuffling to her feet and grabbing her bag off the floor. Her wide eyes meet mine. “Laynie and I are on our way. We’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
I frown. Half an hour? What is going on?
The moment she hangs up, the question is already out of my mouth, “What happened?”
“Hazel had a seizure. She’s been taken to emergency. W-we have to go. Reid needs me there. I’ll drive.”
Choking on a breath, I shrug on my jacket and grab my house keys.
Grayson needs me.