39. Chapter Thirty-Nine #2
“Have you ever felt like I was an outsider in the family?”
That makes her frown. “An outsider?”
I nod. “Yeah. You and Dad are like the wind. You move freely, doing whatever you like, and not really caring about time or money.”
“Well, they’re just not important to us,” She admits in a low voice.
“I know, but when I was younger, I realised that it wasn’t me. That I needed to be in control. To plan, structure, and tidy everything just so my mind wouldn’t overthink or hurt. But you two never really saw that.”
Her lips pinch. “We saw it, Laynie. We knew that you operated differently. That your anxiety led you. You weren’t a free spirit like us, but that was all right.”
My head shakes again as I stare back down at my drink. “Maybe so, but I never felt like I fit with you two. You’ve always been this arty, fun person who would rather smoke something illegal than pick me up from my baking classes in Hollow Grove.”
Her brows pinch. “We tried being good parents.”
“And you have been.” I rub my forehead. “I’m not saying this right. What I’m trying to say is that I sometimes wish you were more worried about me before I fell pregnant.”
“We worried,” Mum insists, her words sincere.
“Yeah but not like you do now. It made me feel like I was on my own.”
“You’re not on your own.”
“Well, definitely not now, but for a few years it felt like I was. You and Dad were so wrapped up in each other, and I was just another person living here. It made me feel alone,” I admit in a raspy tone.
She shakes her head. “You were never alone, Laynie. But I’m sorry we made you feel that way. It was never our intention. Your dad and I just like having fun. It’s our thing.”
“And I love that for you, but I also needed you both just like I have you now.”
“Come here.” I’m wrapped up in her arms, her chin pressed against my temple. “I never meant to make you feel that way. You mean everything to us. You’re our little girl, and I’m so grateful that Levi looks at you like you’re his own fresh and blood, because it really did make this easier.”
“I’m grateful to have him as my dad. He makes you really happy, Mum.”
“He does. Just like Grayson makes you so happy.” I blink, my nose stinging as I feel the familiar wave of emotion crashing through me. “And I can tell he’s going to adore your baby just like he adores you, and that’s all I want. I want you to be happy, and I want your baby to be loved.”
My hand slips from hers to cradle my stomach. “It will be. From what Grayson has already done, I know it will be well looked after.”
Her hand strokes my hair gently in the tender way she used to when I was younger and couldn’t fall asleep because I was convinced there were monsters under my bed.
“I know you were scared to tell me at first about your pregnancy, but I’m glad that you did.
I would have hated knowing that I was holidaying while you were here, stressing on your own like when you were waiting to hear about the bakery. ”
“I felt so guilty, but I needed you here, Mum. I needed you because I knew you would know what to do.”
Her head presses against mine again, and I smile. “And I’ll always be here for you. You’re my daughter, Laynie. I might not act like a typical mother, mainly because I think too many of them are sticklers.” I snort a laugh. “But I’m never going to make you go through something this big alone.”
Lifting my head to stare at her, my eyes burn with gratitude. She kisses my forehead. “Thank you, Mum.”
“Of course, sweetie. Grayson also won’t leave you. I hope you know that.”
Stilling for a long beat, my heart thumps because I know she’s right.
Grayson won’t ever leave me. He’s my best friend, and now he’s my boyfriend and the father of our baby.
I was so worried that he might leave me like Scott did, but now, all I can see is how present Grayson’s been through this whole thing.
Checking up on me, cooking for me, setting up the bath when I desperately needed it.
He loves me, and I love him. We’re all that we need.
“I’ve also spoken with Hazel,” Mum continues, interrupting my thoughts. “She said that you are welcome to move to the ranch this weekend. We’ll all help you.”
My eyes instinctively move to the hallway. My bedroom is full of boxes of things that I’ll be taking with me. I even threw in some baby stuff I’ve started collecting.
“Are you sure you and Dad are okay with this?”
She nods. “I think that it’ll be good for you and the baby.
Plus we can always come and visit. Hazel and Austin wouldn’t mind us being there to see you.
But like you said, your father and I are stuck in our ways, and this house is awfully cramped.
I can’t imagine Grayson and the baby being here, and everyone having enough oxygen to breathe. ”
That makes me sniff a laugh. “What about Sadie then?”
“She’ll be taking your room in the meantime. If you’re okay with that, that is?”
I nod. “Of course. At least she will have the whole room to herself now.”
Mum grins. “Hazel also told me that we’re invited for dinner tomorrow night.”
“Dinner on a Friday night?”
Mum shrugs. “Something about a surprise, that’s all I know.”
Swallowing, I nod, my palms sweaty as I reach for my phone to ask Grayson if he knows what’s going on.
“I’ll start making something for us tonight,” Mum says, disappearing into the kitchen,
My phone vibrates.
BLONDIE: You’re coming for dinner. That’s all I’ve heard.
BLONDIE: Also, I’ll be finished soon.
I lean back on the couch. Something is going on, and I’m going to be a ball of anxiety until I find out.