Chapter 13
This has been the greatest day of my life. So far, anyway. With River home, I predict many more greatest days in my future. There will undoubtedly be hard days, but those are what make the good ones something to be cherished.
I get out of the shower, already dressed in my normal pajamas consisting of boy shorts and a loose shirt. River is sitting up in my bed with the bedside lamp on. The moment he sees me, his face lights up and he grins. “Feel better?”
“A hot shower and my mate in my bed after a night of celebrations? I don’t think things could get much better.” Well, that’s a lie. They could, but I’m not in a hurry. I already decided earlier today that even with our lost time, there’s no reason to rush things with River.
More than I want to bond with him, I want to be sure he’s in the right headspace for doing so. Not that I have any doubts about how much he cares for me, but when we finally have sex, completing our bond, I want to be sure he’s fully present. Not still stuck in the darkness.
Even better, I get the feeling he agrees with me.
“I thought I would hate the big crowd of people,” River admits, “but after being alone for so long, it was good to be around everyone again. Thank you for not leaving me, though.”
His hand had been cemented to mine all night. A fact that I didn’t mind. I’m glad he’s leaning on me so much, and I’m even more grateful he’s being open with his feelings. Several times today, he’s mentioned how he needs me and missed me and at one point, I think he even almost told me he loves me.
We might have only spent a few days together before he left, and I haven’t gotten to know River on a more personal level yet, but there’s no denying I’m already in love with this man, body, mind, and soul.
For six years, I’ve dreamed of only him. I’ve heard the stories of his past through those closest to him. I’ve seen his sacrifices firsthand. I don’t need months in his presence to know that there is no one better than the man sitting in my bed.
River is the best there is. Even if he needs some time to remember that, I know he’ll get there and I know when he does, nothing in this life will be better than that moment, for both of us.
I settle into bed next to him, enjoying how he pulls me flush with his side as I say, “I’m glad you had a good time. That was the whole point.”
He chuckles. “Maybe half of it, but our family enjoys getting together and it doesn’t happen very often.”
“Hmmm,” I hum as he plays with the ends of my hair. “Maybe we can change that.”
“Maybe we can.”
I look up at him, and when I find his hazel eyes on me, my heart stutters and I have to remind myself to swallow. Gods, he truly is the most incredible being I’ve ever met. The way he looks at me, the way he takes my breath away but is also the reason I breathe… I know he needs time to heal, but I also need him to know that he’ll never be alone again.
Turning until I face him, I grab both of his hands and lick my lips. I expect to be nervous, but the words pour out of me without a single bit of hesitation.
“When I first saw you, I feared I would be in the same position as my sister,” I tell him. “Then, you touched me with a gentleness I’d long forgotten existed in this world. I wanted to hold onto you like a lifeline and never let the joy you brought me go, but then you were gone.”
He frowns and opens his mouth, but I shake my head. “Let me finish.”
His smile returns. Though, it feels forced as he says, “Please do.”
“A part of me hated you for abandoning me, hated my sister for keeping me from you, hated the world for thinking we shouldn’t be together.” I take a deep breath before continuing. “And then I didn’t. Every day that I missed you, every day that I got to know you through your family and friends, I realized so much about myself. I was nearly an adult when we met, but I’d never lived, never learned from life the way we’re supposed to. I was finally able to grow into the woman I was always supposed to be, and even though you weren’t by my side while I did, I fell in love with you a little more every day.”
His eyes gloss over and his smile grows bigger than I’ve ever seen it, but still, I continue.
“I knew the moment that I found you again that I couldn’t ever let you go, but I also thought I needed to let you have the same journey as I did. One forged from the strength of remembering who you are on your own, but you already know who you are, whereas I hadn’t. The moment you asked me not to let you go, I knew there would never be a day that passes that I wouldn’t need you with me, want the presence of your incredible soul in my life. Because not only did I spend six years falling in love with you, I am, now and forever, always going to be yours.”
River practically throws himself at me, pinning me back onto the mattress with so much joy radiating from him that I can taste the sunshine he emits.
His hands hold my wrists over my head and he leans in closer, nipping at my bottom lip before whispering, “I love you, Jules. So much that I’m not sure I deserve you, but I promise to spend the rest of our days being the man you believe me to be and earning your love.”
He has nothing to earn, I intend to give him all of me freely, but before I can tell him as much, his mouth is on mine. Our lips connect and tongues tangle without a moment’s hesitation. I taste the hops from the beer he drank earlier, but his natural sweetness overpowers the headiness until all that’s left is my River.
My River who is not only my mate, but who will be my best friend, my confidant, my everything for all the rest of my years. After all we’ve been through, I know there isn’t anything else in this lifetime that can be thrown at us that we won’t be able to handle together.
Now and forever.