CHAPTER 18
NOAH
She cried.
Something as simple as a few blankets, soda and some popcorn and it made her cry.
It infuriates me that she has been treated so badly, neglected and starved for just the smallest amount of time and affection, that such a small act has that kind of effect on her.
If Bella were mine, I’d spend every day coming up with new ways to show her just how much she is loved and appreciated.
If she were mine, she would never question her worth, her beauty or her future.
I saw it in her eyes the moment I opened my tailgate. She was asking herself why I would do something like this for her. Silly girl. If only she knew that this is only the beginning of all the ways I’m going to show her what it feels like to be loved and treated the right way.
I know she has the same common misconception about me as everybody else in this town, but she – they – couldn’t be more wrong.
I haven’t looked at another woman since the night I saw Justin in the bar with his secretary. Haven’t even been back there. For the past two weeks I’ve enjoyed being at home. I look forward to six o’clock when I know Bella is about to pull up outside my house any moment.
I’ve held back on asking how her search for somewhere to live is going, even though I’ve caught her looking multiple times, because I don’t want her to leave.
Throughout this entire movie, I’ve been thinking up ways inside my head that I can try to convince her to stay.
To ask her to go on a real date with me.
But every time I think I’ve figured it out, I’m hit with the reminder that she’s not only just gotten out of a relationship, but she’s Killian’s little sister.
And the very person he made me promise to stay away from.
***
Fifteen years ago
I sit on the grassy bank, a towel I stole from my mom’s linen closet pulled tight around my bare shoulders as I chug a bottle of water, my eyes fixed on Killian as he swings from the rope and summersaults into the creek.
Daisy, Grayson and Rueben cheer as he lands in the water with a splash and I chuckle to myself, twisting the lid back on my drink.
Bella, Killian’s little sister, sits on the other side of the tree the rope is attached to, a book open in her lap as she scribbles something down.
There’s a small dent between her eyebrows from how hard she’s concentrating, and my curiosity gets the better of me.
I stand, shaking my damp curls to rid them of any water that might drip and make my way over to her, laying my towel on the ground beside her before I sit.
“What’s got you concentrating so hard, Bella?” I ask, nudging her shoulder with mine.
Her eyes snap up to mine in surprise, almost as though she didn’t register me sitting beside her, and she slams her book closed, her cheeks turning pink. “Oh. Nothing.”
“Oh. Come on. Show me.” I urge and she rolls her eyes, her face serious.
“Promise you won’t laugh?”
I hold up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”
This time she laughs and my chest swells with pride at the sound. She has a pretty laugh. “You’re not a scout. But okay.”
She opens her book, drawing both of our attention downward and begins to flip through it. Every page is filled with words and little drawings. It’s chaotic but neat all at the same time. “I’m writing recipes.”
My brows fly up. “Recipes?”
She nods, chewing on her lower lip. “I want to be a baker someday.”
“A baker, huh?” I ask thoughtfully. I can totally see it.
Bella smiles, nodding enthusiastically. “Yep. I plan to open a café in town. I have the ideas written down already. I’ll have a glass case at the front of the store so that the first thing people see when they walk in are the pastries and cakes I’ve made.”
Her eyes take on a dreamy, faraway look as if she’s picturing it and I watch her silently. “It’ll be light and airy but welcoming, with an old diner feel to it. People can come and drink coffee or consume all the sugar they want to,” she continues.
I chuckle lightly. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out, Bells.”
“It’s just a dream.” She shrugs, closing the book. “I’ll probably end up working in the supermarket or being a teaching assistant at the primary school.”
Without thinking, my hand reaches out and clasps hers. “No, Bella. I think that you’ll get everything you ever dreamed of.”
Her gaze stays focused on our interlocked hands for a long beat before she beams up at me, her teeth on full display, a hint of pink in the balls of her cheeks. “Thanks, Noah.”
Something about her smile makes my chest feel funny and my heart pounds a little faster than normal. I open my mouth to respond when another voice sounds from behind me. “What’s going on?”
I snatch my hand back from Bella’s and look up into the eyes of my best friend. He’s frowning down at us in a way that tells me he isn’t happy.
“Can I talk to you?” Killian asks, his gaze never straying from mine. I swallow thickly and nod, standing and picking my towel up off the ground as I go.
Daisy switches places with me, taking a seat next to her friend as I follow Killian back to the grassy bank. He stops abruptly and spins. “Not her.”
My feet come to a halt, forehead crinkling. “What?”
“Not. Her,” Killian grits out, looking back toward his sister.
“Are you kidding me?” I ask, confused at what his problem is.
Killian steps closer, his words quiet. “Listen, Noah. You’re my best friend and I love you. You can ask out any girl you want, just not my sister.”
I scratch my neck, confused. “We were just talking.”
“You were holding her hand. She’s younger than us, Noah. And she’s having a hard time.”
I frown, looking back at Bella. She smiles in my direction, and I return it before turning back to her brother. “She’ll fall in love with you and you’ll break her heart.”
Looking down at the ground, I contemplate his words. It wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’ve never been in love before.
“Just promise me, Noah,” Killian pushes and a weird sensation takes over my chest. I don’t want to promise anything. And it hurts a little that he thinks I would treat his sister that way.
“Promise me that you’ll stay away from her,” he says again and I look up at him, seeing the plea in his eyes. It softens something inside of me and against better judgement, I nod.
“I promise.”
***
People begin packing up their belongings and returning to their cars, some already pulling out of the drive-in, as I blink away the memory from all those years ago.
Bella’s head rests against my shoulder and she doesn’t move as the end credits roll across the screen.
I glance down at her, my chest tight with regret as I examine her features.
Long lashes fan over her face, and her breaths are heavy and even, telling me that she’s fallen asleep.
I take the opportunity to really look at her.
At the peaceful expression on her flawless face.
At the way her shoulders rise and fall with ever inhale and exhale of breath.
How her full, pink lips are slightly parted.
I run a hand over the top of her hair and remove the bow hair clip, allowing the glossy strands to fall freely over her shoulders.
She doesn’t move at my touch and I lean down, placing my lips against her forehead and breathe her in.
She smells like vanilla cupcakes and it’s exactly what I’ve imagined she’d smell like.
I silently wonder if it’s her shampoo or her lotion, making it my life’s mission to figure out which one so that I can buy her a lifetimes supply so that she never runs out or changes it.
For the briefest of moments, with her head resting against me and my lips to her skin, I imagine she’s mine.
I imagine that I’ll wake her from her sleep and we’ll go home and climb into our bed.
That I’ll be able to touch her in every way that she’ll allow me to, and I’ll never have to feel guilty for it.
But most of all, I imagine what life could have been like had I not lied that day.
I picture us having a life like my brothers’. Picture Killian shaking my hand and welcoming me to the family when we get engaged. If I had just been honest about my feelings from the start, would we have already been engaged by now? Married, even?
But all of that is ripped away when I remember the elephant sized secret I’ve kept for eight years. The promise I made and broke anyway. And then I pull my lips away from her forehead and shift back slightly, clearing my throat.
Bella’s eyes flutter open and she blinks up at me deliriously for a moment before she realises that she’s leaning on me and sits upright. “I’m sorry. I must’ve dozed off.”
I chuckle but it sounds hollow. “You’re good, Bells.” Gesturing at the now black screen, I say, “movie’s over.”
Bella looks around, only just noticing that most of the crowd has packed up and loaded into their cars. She wipes at her eyes and stretches, a huge yawn escaping her. It’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
When she’s finally alert, we begin folding away the blankets together, tossing them into the backseat of the truck through the sliding window on the back cab.
I quickly collect our trash and jog over to the nearest trashcan to throw it all away and by the time I return, Bella has packed the last few items into the truck and is waiting for me in the passenger seat.
I freeze when I notice the hoodie she’s wearing, those damn butterflies taking flight again.
The name of my college is in bold letters across the front, and I hold back the smile that threatens to break free, not wanting to give her any reason to take it off.
She looks fucking perfect in my clothing.
I shake my head, clearing my throat as I climb into the driver’s seat and start the engine, pulling out of the drive-in.
The drive home is quiet. Bella rests her head against the window the entire drive and for a moment I’m worried she’s fallen asleep again, but when we pull into the gravel road leading to my family ranch, her head lifts and she straightens in her seat.
“I was worried I was going to have to wake you a second time tonight,” I joke, breaking the silence.
Bella casts a sleepy smile in my direction. “I’m sorry I fell asleep earlier. I’m exhausted.”
Pulling the truck next to my house, I put it in park and turn to her. “You should be sorry. I went to a lot of effort tonight. Am I really that boring?” I smirk.
She blinks at me for a second, her expression completely blank and I worry for a moment that she didn’t pick up on the teasing in my tone.
Just as I’m about to open my mouth and explain that was a joke, she speaks.
“Well, if my jerkwad of a roommate would stop waking me up at the crack of ass, I wouldn’t fall asleep on him. ”
My head falls back, a booming laugh escaping me and it’s not long before Bella joins in, her laugh just as loud as mine.
“C’mon, babybell. Let’s get you to bed,” I say when we finally catch our breath.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and jump out, rushing around to her side of the truck to get her door.
She thanks me as she slides off the edge of the seat, her feet hitting the ground with a thud and I make a mental reminder to install a step to the truck.
We enter the house together, the pair of us kicking our shoes off in the entryway and Bella strips out of my hoodie, turning to hand it to me. I shake my head. “You can keep it.”
Her brows pinch. “What?”
“It looks better on you.”
She looks between me and the hoodie clutched in her fist. “Thank you. For this…” she licks her lips, drawing my attention downward, “and for tonight.”
I take a step closer, putting us in the exact position we were in the night she showed up on my porch, wet and distraught. Lifting a hand, I tuck her hair behind her ear. “You never have to thank me for doing the bare minimum, Bells.”
She blinks up at me under thick, dark lashes. “That wasn’t the bare minimum, Noah.”
My hand is still lingering beside her face, and I cup it, my thumb finding her chin as I tilt her head up. “Yes. It was.”
The silence that follows is loaded as her eyes flit back and forth between mine and my lips, and I wonder if she’s thinking about what it would be like to just lean in and kiss me.
If she’s consumed with thoughts of it like I am.
It would be so easy for either one of us to close the gap between us, say fuck it all and take what we want.
But then I remind myself that she’s fresh out of a two-year relationship and still dealing with the hurt of Justin’s betrayal. If I kissed her now, I’d be taking advantage of her.
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, blinking up at me with dilated pupils and every drop of blood in my body rushes south as I’m hit with a need like never before.
I suck in a sharp breath and squeeze my eyes shut, my head falling forward against hers, already regretting what I’m about to say.
“You should go to bed, Bells.”
She doesn’t respond and I keep my eyes closed until I feel the softness of her skin on mine disappear, taking her warmth and cupcake scent with her as she passes me and climbs the stairs to her bedroom.
I wait until I hear the click of her door closing before I release a heavy breath and head for my shower.