CHAPTER 38
BELLA
The soft creak of the bedroom door alerts me to the fact that someone has entered, but I keep my back to them, not even opening my eyes as whoever it is moves around the bed and crouches in front of me.
The smell of wood mixed with cologne tells me it’s my brother and although I still haven’t spoken to him, something inside of me relaxes in his presence.
“Bells?” he whispers softly, his rough hand clasping mine. The move is so gentle, so delicate, that I feel my chin begin to tremble as tears well behind my closed eyelids.
“Come on, Bells. I know you’re awake. You need to eat something,” he says, and I hear him place something on the nightstand beside me.
I finally open my eyes, my stare blank as I look at him without a word.
His lips tip up in a closed smile but his eyes shine with despair. “I’m really sorry for my part in this, Bella. I just…” he pauses, looking away briefly and clenching his jaw before looking back at me. “I was trying to protect you.”
Yeah, well… I guess he was right to.
I told you so, and all that.
I still don’t speak as he pulls a small plate from the nightstand with a single slice of toast on it and holds it up in front of me. “Will you please just eat this?”
A lone tear rolls down the side of my face as I shake my head once and close my eyes again, shutting him out.
I hear his deep sigh and imagine him dropping his head in defeat before he stands and leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind him quietly.
And it’s that quiet snick of the handle turning that finally allows me to let go of the emotions that I’d been holding as I cry into my pillow until eventually, sleep takes me again.
***
My eyes flutter open, swollen and dry as the sound of rustling pulls me from my broken sleep.
The windows are dark beyond the drawn curtains, letting me know that night has fallen and I’ve slept the entire day away.
All of the memories from the last twenty-four hours come flooding back and my chest caves in on itself, the organ inside it aching with the weight of the betrayal.
Quiet footfalls sound as somebody rounds the bed and my shoulders tense, breath freezing as I wait for them to come into view.
“Bella?” Daisy whispers quietly, and I relax, turning my head slightly to look at her.
She holds a large bouquet of flowers, a sad smile on her face as she takes a seat on the end of the bed. “He left these for you.”
She doesn’t need to say a name for me to figure out who he is, and I drop my head back to the pillow, the ache intensifying.
“Throw them out.” My voice is hoarse from lack of use, but I don’t bother clearing my throat.
“There’s a note,” she says hesitantly.
“I don’t care,” I whisper, tears threatening once again.
The problem is I do care.
I really fucking care.
But I shouldn’t.
I don’t want to.
I want to be able to switch it all off. To lock all of these feelings and emotions away in a box and tuck it at the back of the highest shelf in a closet where it can stay for the rest of my life just so that I don’t have to live another day with this godforsaken pain in my chest.
Heartbreak fucking sucks.
Men fucking suck.
“Would you like to join us for dinner? Juliet will be happy to see you.” Daisy tries again.
I shake my head. “I don’t want her to see me like this.”
Daisy sighs but eventually nods and stands, taking the flowers with her as she leaves the room and shuts the door behind her.
***
I’m woken again, this time by my bladder and I reluctantly drag myself from the bed and across the hall to the bathroom.
The house is silent and in complete darkness and when I’ve finished my business, I wash my hands and return to the bedroom, searching for my phone to check the time.
I find it plugged into the charger on the other side of the room and mentally thank whoever was smart enough to plug it in for me.
I unlock it, squinting against the brightness before I adjust it to a lower setting and walk back to the bed.
Fifteen missed calls.
Twenty-seven text messages.
My heart pounds as I scroll through the notifications, a few from Liv and Savannah asking if I’m okay and the rest from Noah.
Noah: I’m so fucking sorry, baby.
Noah: Please talk to me, I can explain.
Noah: I should have told you.
Noah: I’ll fix this, I promise.
My hands shake as I scroll and scroll but it’s the last one that has a lump forming in my throat and tears spilling down my cheeks.
Noah: This house isn’t home without you, Bella. Please come home.
I lock the phone and toss it to the side as gut-wrenching sobs rack my entire body.
I don’t register the door opening or the person stepping inside, it’s only when I feel warm arms come around me and my body is pulled against hers that I realise that Daisy has joined me on the bed.
She doesn’t speak, she just holds me and lets me cry until I’m completely spent and it’s in that moment that I realise just how much I needed my best friend.