11. Addie #3
Voice low, he teemed with rage. “How’s that for teaching her a lesson, sonnet boy?” he spat. “Come near again, and now she knows exactly what will happen to you.”
Driving home his point, Blake drew back his arm and hit Finn again.
Crimson sprayed across the wall. It seeped through Finn’s fingers as he clutched his face before spilling onto the floor. Blake grabbed his collar, twisting it in his fist to lift Finn’s upper body off the ground. He whispered something and then rose to full height.
Like it always had, my breath caught.
I stored that image of Blake in my mind, committing it to memory as he turned, slammed the front door behind him, and came after us. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as he approached.
After months of distance, I held onto the only thought that mattered. “You came.”
It felt inadequate, but Adam hugged me tighter, reassuring me, even though my words hadn’t been meant for him. Blake knew that, too.
“Of course, I did, Addie. That’s what we do.” Steely blue eyes met mine over the back of his truck, his gaze unflinching in the moonlight. “We show up for each other.”
“Yeah,” I rasped, as emotion lodged in my throat.
As if committing the image of me to memory, he drank in the sight of my face. His jaw tightened over the bruise on my cheek, and my hand twitched to cover it.
But I lifted my chin instead.
Blake nodded, pointing at me as he said, “You’re not on your own, kid. Never forget that again.”
That time, as the emotions of the past four months caught up to me, I didn’t flinch when he said it. It felt different somehow. Like the kind of love that mattered.
“Thanks…” I gave him a watery smile. “Old friend.”
Blake smiled, his wide grin striking me like an arrow through the heart.
I’d missed him, more than I’d let myself admit over the past four months.
Ducking into the backseat, I assured Adam I was fine a hundred times before he let me buckle my seatbelt and closed the door. As he climbed into the front seat, Blake started the car.
As we pulled away, I kept my eyes on the street.
I didn’t look back at the house.
The adrenaline fueling me through the night plummeted, and with the boys coming down from it, too, the drive passed in silence. Fury remained etched on their faces, not directed at me but still hard to swallow. Finn loved reminding me how I relied on them to clean up my messes.
Tonight, he’d been right. They’d had to do exactly that.
Streetlights flickered on the quiet back roads.
Traffic lights blinked yellow and red, the colors blurring together as Finn’s cruel voice filled my head.
It took a second to realize it wasn’t the lights, but my vision, and I swiped at the tears slipping over my cheeks, muffling a cry into the sleeve of my hoodie.
Blake and Adam shared a look, but neither of them spoke.
Gratitude filled my chest as they let me cry in silence. After experiencing my bleakest moment in their presence, I couldn’t take anymore. It weighed on my mind, repeating in words I’d heard so often it was hard not to believe them.
Even with them beside me, and even knowing Finn had been cruel when he’d said it, I felt suddenly, inexplicably alone.
I choked back the sobs threatening to break free from my throat, trapping everything inside me. When we reached our place, Adam led us into the building while Blake took up the rear behind me, but they let me go inside the apartment first.
Following me to my bedroom door, they waited for me to tell them what I needed.
I wrapped my arms around myself and faced them. “Thank you both. For showing up tonight. For…everything.” My voice shook. “I think…I need to sleep now. I can figure the rest out in the morning.”
“Whatever you need,” Adam said automatically.
He gave me a quick hug and stepped back. Blake nodded beside him but didn’t approach.
With Finn’s voice in my head, I couldn’t take the first step either. I’d used all my courage tonight, but the absence of his touch, when I desperately needed it, threatened to break me.
With a pathetic wave, I went inside my room and shut the door. Fully dressed and a complete mess, I crawled straight under the covers. I let the emotions of the night wash over me, and I cried until I got them all out.
You’re not on your own, kid.
On some level, Blake was right, so I didn’t understand why it hurt so much, but as the word echoed in my head, mixing with the ghost of Finn’s, the certainty that I was—and always would be—alone overwhelmed me.
Deep, guttural sobs wracked my body until exhaustion forced my body still.
I stared at my bedroom door in the dark, clutching the tiny elephant pendant. Along with it, Blake had given me the answer.
He was my family. He would always be.
And just like Adam always did, like they both had countless times before, Blake showed up for me. He loved me.
But even after everything that had happened between us and countless rejections, it was just like Finn had said. He’d been right the night he struck me. I still couldn’t let go of the hope that Blake’s love might deepen one day.
And I’d always be alone.
Because no one could love me as a woman while I clung to the silly hopes of a little girl.