12. Blake
BLAKE
“She’s okay now, Mom. We got her out of there and back to the apartment.”
I paced the living room as Adam sat on the couch, filling his parents in on everything that had just happened. He held the phone out in front of him, leaving it on speaker.
“Do we need to come there? We can be there in thirty minutes, Adam.”
“She said she wanted to rest tonight.”
“Yes, but—”
The worry in Mrs. Barrow’s voice triggered the protective instinct in my chest. “I’m going to stay on the couch tonight, Mrs. B. If she needs anything, I’ll be right there, and I can wake up Adam or call you if she needs you to come here.”
She exhaled, her voice shaky as she murmured her acknowledgement before she sniffled and Mr. B filled in the rest.
“You’re a good kid, Blake. Thank you for being there for them tonight. We know we can always count on you.”
Pride filled my chest. “Of course, Mr. B. That’s what family does, right?”
“Yeah, kid. That’s what family does.”
When I sat beside him, Adam clapped me on the shoulder. “We won’t let him come near the apartment. If he does, I’ll—”
Mrs. B interjected. “Call 911 and let the authorities handle it, Adam Nathaniel Barrow.”
Adam and I shared a look, her response easing some of the tension we’d carried all night.
“Yeah, Mom.” He laid the sincerity on thick. “That’s what I was going to say.”
“Mmhm.” I pictured her the way Addie often stared at us. Lips pursed, not buying our bullshit. “Blake, I’m trusting you to be the voice of reason tonight.”
“You have my word, Mrs. B.”
After we hung up with them, Adam yawned. He had an exam the next morning, so I told him to go to sleep. Even knowing he’d be dead to the world with his headphones on, there was no way I’d be sleeping that night. He hesitated, but finally went upstairs to bed.
I spent the next few hours warring with myself as I listened to Addie’s muffled cries.
Torn between barging into her room and giving her the space to process, I settled on pacing between her door and the couch, unable to enter and unable to sit. It didn’t feel right to leave her alone, but the last thing I wanted to do was push her away again.
Around one in the morning, she fell quiet. While I assumed she was asleep, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes. I finally lay down on the couch, but after an hour of staring at the ceiling, I bolted upright, needing to check on her.
I gripped the arm rest, as if my hold on it could stop me from going in there. The only reason I stayed put this time was because I’d already ignored her request once tonight.
When Adam had gotten her call, and I’d heard her voice, the need to be with her surged. Even though she’d asked him to come alone, I’d been explicitly clear.
He could go by himself, but I’d show up either way.
And when she’d called again, I thought nothing could compare to that.
Then she screamed.
I shot off the couch and flung open the door to her room so quickly, I nearly crashed through it. My heart raced like I’d been stabbed with an EpiPen, adrenaline coursing through me.
Hitting the switch on the wall, I illuminated her bedroom. I gasped at the sight of her.
She thrashed on the bed. The covers tangled around her, binding her limbs like restraints as she beat her small fists against the mattress. Her legs kicked out, warding off an attacker who wasn’t there.
The urge to drive back to that piece of shit’s house and take a pound out of his flesh surged. I wanted him to pay for what he’d done to her. Even without knowing all the details, I’d seen the look on her face tonight. I didn’t need anything else.
Fear. Panic. Doubt.
And pain.
But while punching him earlier had quieted my rage, I’d only done it because Addie was safe. And so now, even though beating that fucking tool to a pulp would satisfy my need for vengeance, I refused to be like my father. I refused to choose rage and my demons over someone who needed me.
Especially her.
“Addie.” I tried to wake her from the side of her bed, keeping my voice low.
She cried out again.
“Addie, wake up.” My voice rose, and my heart thundered in my chest. “Addie, it’s a bad dream. You’re having a nightmare.”
I reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping to ground her in reality, but the second my fingers brushed her bare shoulder, she flailed.
She fought harder against whatever she saw mind in her mind, thrashing on top of the mattress. Clenching and yanking on the sheets. Digging her heels into the bed as another scream tore from her throat.
She threw her head back, nearly slamming it into the headboard.
And I couldn’t sit by any longer.
I climbed onto her bed, taking her shoulders in both my hands. With as little force as possible, I contained her movement. Keeping her safe without forcing her body still, I did that for as long as I could.
I considered going to get Adam, but I didn’t know if she’d hurt herself while I was gone and I couldn’t leave her in her current state.
Whatever terror she faced, it wouldn’t release her, so I held on tighter, sure that was the last thing I was supposed to do, but unable to think.
“Adam!” I called out for him, needing to try even though I doubted he’d hear me from the loft. But when shouting for him made Addie scream, and he didn’t respond, I refocused on her, raising my voice without shouting. “Addie, wake up!”
Her knee shot up, ramming into my side with enough force to draw a wince. I pushed aside the twinge of pride in my chest over the fight she put up. Tomorrow, that knowledge would bring relief.
Tonight, I just needed her safe.
“Addie, please.” I steadied my voice as much as possible, but it shook as fear gripped my throat in a vise. “Please wake up.”
She tried to knee me again, but I dodged the second blow to my ribs and rolled her onto her back. She kicked out, one foot coming dangerously close to the post at the corner of her bed.
With no fucking idea what else to do, I threw my arm over her leg, pinning it across her knees to keep her legs from hitting the bed. She lashed out with her arms, clawing at my arm and face, scratching hard enough to draw blood.
I stretched, reaching across her body to catch her hands in mine. “Addie, wake up!” I finally shouted. “You’re safe. Addie, you’re not there anymore. You’re home.”
Her eyes snapped open.
Both breathing heavily, our faces hovered inches away from each other. Tear tracks ran down her cheeks, but she blinked away the remnants of her nightmare and refocused on me.
Her lips parted as her eyes cleared. “Blake?”
The confusion on her face as she glanced down at my body half covering hers, the way her eyes filled with fresh tears—it wrecked me.
I jolted backward, terrified she might associate her fear of him with me, and released my grip on her shoulders. “You were having a nightmare,” I rushed to explain. “You were screaming. I didn’t know what else to do.”
As my hold loosened, she whimpered, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded before turning her face away.
“Hey.” I brushed her hair back from her face, trying to draw her back to me. “Addie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—You’re alright now. I can go. I can get Adam, if you need…”
I expected her to send me away. Even if I didn’t understand how, I’d hurt her. Enough to push her farther from us. Enough to bring her closer to him.
It was my fault.
I’d sworn to never be that voice in her head. I’d done the one thing I’d vowed to never do.
Now, I just wanted to make it right.
But after everything that happened, I was the last person she needed. Her legs trembled beneath mine. Her hands, her chin, her breath—her whole body shook as she reached up and clutched my shirt.
I braced for her to push me away.
I didn’t expect her to pull me closer.
As she wrapped her arms around me, I froze. She buried her face in my shoulder, holding me tightly as sobs wracked her body.
I shook off my momentary shock and hugged her back.
With one hand bracing myself on the bed above her, I wrapped the other around her back, pulling her into my chest. I drove my fingers into her hair, weaving through the soft strands to cup the nape, and as I cradled her head, I hugged her tighter against me.
Unable to bear an inch of space between us after four months without her where she belonged.
“I’ve got you, Addie. I’m here.”
She sobbed harder.
But she didn’t let me go.
“Please, don’t leave me.” Her voice broke, muffling in my shirt as her tears soaked through it. “Please, stay with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I vowed, whispering reassurances. Promising that she was safe, that I was there, and that she wasn’t alone. And repeating them over and over as I waited for her to believe me.
Her sobs quieted, but her tremors didn't stop. Scared I was making it worse by remaining on top of her, I shifted our bodies, just enough to rest on my side.
Despite holding onto her the whole time, she gripped my back like I might vanish. She curled into my chest and threaded her leg between mine.
I swept my hand over her hair, her cheeks, and her back until she finally settled.
As she calmed, the frantic thrum of her pulse against my thumb steadied into a gentle beat. Her muscles relaxed, and her limbs grew heavy.
Slowly, her eyelids drifted shut.
And I released a breath, tightening my arms around her and breathing in the scent of her hair, as I assured myself she was safe.
I held her through the night, stroking my hands up and down her spine each time she got lost in a bad dream. After chasing each one away, she slept soundly in my arms.
It took me a long time to relax, but just like I had after that night on her couch—when my body had been the one bruised and my heart the one that was broken—I reminded myself everything would be okay.
Addie was here. She was safe.
And I’d never let anyone hurt her again.
That thought, no matter how na?ve it might’ve been, brought me peace, and as I stared down at her sleeping form, my gaze snagged on her fist clenched tightly between our chests.
Clutching the tiny pendant I’d given her.
The tiny elephant, with its trunk curled upward, that stood for luck and protection. I’d picked knowing how lucky I was to have her in my life and hoping it would always keep her safe.
I closed my eyes as emotion lodged in my throat, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Eventually, I fell asleep beside her.
But I didn’t loosen my hold on her.
And I wouldn’t let her go again.