Chapter 11 #2
“Can you imagine us working together on that gig? It would be fabulous, because there’s a never-ending to-do list at the cabin and despite the fact that the guy I’m seeing is really affordable in his rates, it’s hardly fair to let him continually work for free.”
Eddie’s brow lifts. “I’m not working for free.”
“Oh no? Should I expect a bill in the mail?”
Eddie glances in the rearview at Theo, headphones on as he stares, totally absorbed, at the tablet in his hands.
Then he reaches over, dragging a hand up my thigh as his fingers deliver the most delicious tickle. “How about a trade? You repay me with sexual favors of my choosing.”
The best part? His sexual favors usually involve pleasuring me, which I am all for.
I stretch across the interior of the truck, nuzzling his neck and delivering a quick peck to his cheek. “Oh sir, that I can most definitely do.”
Dinner with Ash, Ori, and little Iris is chaotic in the best way.
They live in the recently renovated carriage house of the Dean Estate, personally restored by none other than Eddie, the end result a perfect blend of warmth and craftsmanship.
Doesn’t hurt that there’s a whole lot of love within these walls, either, because Ash and Ori, despite having an infant, can’t seem to keep their hands off one another.
Might have something to do with Ori’s cooking. The woman created a feast fit for a king, consisting of far more calories than I dare count. All I know is if I continue eating like this, my curves are going to be really stacked—not that Eddie seems to mind.
I lean back in my chair with a sated groan. “I’m going to be full for weeks. You are a hell of a cook, Ori.”
“Lucky for me, I enjoy cooking, and it’s cheaper than therapy,” Ori replies with a grin, as Iris’s fussing crackles over the baby monitor. “I’ll be back. Time to see what our little lady wants.”
Ash tracks Ori the entire way into the nursery, but that’s hardly a surprise. The man is always watching her, as if some part of him still can’t believe she’s real, which is especially endearing since Ash used to go through women like most people go through underwear.
Now, he can barely stand being away from her for thirty seconds.
Theo pats Eddie’s hand. “Can I see Iris, Dad?”
Eddie nods, pushing back from the table. “Come on. We’ll both go.”
I swirl the wine around my glass, smiling at Ash. “This is such a good look for you. Honestly.”
“Yeah, well, it took me long enough, right? Wouldn’t trade it for anything, although I miss sleep.” Ash chuckles, running a hand over his short beard. “Still worth it. How are you doing? That’s the bigger question.”
See, I can bluff my way through talks with most people, but Ash is not one of them. We’ve known each other too long and too well for bullshit.
He wants to know the latest on Drake and the upcoming trial. Life beyond the glow of Eddie.
Nervous energy spirals low in my core. It happens every time I think about my ex-husband.
“It’s been quiet,” I admit. “Almost too quiet. I don’t know whether to be grateful things seem to be calming down or worried it’s all going to blow up in my face.”
“Do you hear from Drake at all?”
I sip my wine and roll my eyes. “Yeah. The bastard called on my birthday. Told me he was sorry he couldn’t take me on the cruise he planned for my fortieth.”
Ash snorts and shakes his head in dismay. “That’s good of him.”
“Right? What a gem.”
He tips his chin toward the nursery, where the muffled sounds of the rest of the dinner party drift back into the room. “Things are good with Eddie, though.”
It’s not a question, and for my friend, the answer is obvious, although I doubt he’s using my increased boob circumference as a barometer for my happiness meter.
Still, heat floods my cheeks, which I pray is hidden in the dim lighting. “He’s amazing. Life with him is so easy, in a way it never was with Drake. Eddie brings out this whole new side of me.”
No, I don’t delve into the specifics of that side, but Ash remembers me when.
Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
And lately, the moniker fits.
A wide smile cuts across Ash’s face. “Pretty obvious Eddie is crazy about you, too.”
I lean over and smack his arm, fixing him with a stern glare. “Don’t say that too loud. I don’t want to scare him off.”
“Scare who off?” Eddie asks, slipping into the seat next to me, his gaze volleying between Ash and me. “Shit, are you two talking crap about me?”
“Obviously,” Ash and I say in stereo.
Damn, it feels good to laugh this much.
Leaning over, I place a soft kiss on his cheek. “All good things. Promise.”
I spy Theo standing by the carriage house door, staring out toward the courtyard garden.
“I bet I know what you want,” I say in a sing song voice, shrugging into my jacket. “Want to explore with me?”
The kid is halfway out the door into the fading evening light before I snatch his coat from the hook.
The temperature drops fast this time of year. Winter in Sparkwood has a way of sneaking up on you. One minute it’s crisp and charming, the next the wind bites straight through your clothes.
But the courtyard always feels magical. Ash and Eddie created a space straight out of a storybook, from the potting shed draped in a blanket of fairy lights, to the vines climbing the trellises as they reach for the stars, to the collection of stone figures dotting the garden, like sentries on hand to provide directions.
If I look hard enough, I’ll probably see a white rabbit wearing a waistcoat scurrying past.
Theo gazes up at me, mischief alive in his face. “Want to play tag?”
The last thing I want to do after that meal is run around in the cold, but there is absolutely no universe in which I’m saying no to this child.
“Hmm. I suppose.” I pretend to mull it over as I stroll a few steps down the path. Then, without warning, I whirl around, tap his shoulder and take off. “Tag! You’re it!”
Theo lets out a delighted shout as I dart behind a cluster of bushes. I slow just enough for him to catch me, because honestly, my stomach is threatening revolt if I don’t.
When it’s his turn to hide, I up the drama to a hundred, even though I see his shoes sticking out from behind the planter. “Oh no! Where did you go, Theo? I can’t find you anywhere!”
In case I’d missed his shoes, his giggle gives him away instantly. “I’m over here!” And then, he’s off again, ducking around the oak tree near the atrium.
Whirling on my heel, I see Eddie strolling toward us, his hands tucked into his pockets, watching us with his warm, easy expression that does dangerous things to my insides.
I throw up my hands, beseeching his help. “Are you going to help me track down your son, or am I on my own here?”
His mouth curves. “Totally on your own. I know better than to play tag with that kid. He’s sneaky. Learned it from me.”
Turns out, Eddie isn’t kidding.
Theo launches himself from behind the bushes to my immediate right with a loud yell, and I scream theatrically before collapsing onto the leaf-strewn grass in a ridiculous tickle pile.
“Hey, do any of you crazy kids want dessert? I made chocolate cake,” Ori calls from the doorway.
Theo instantly forgets the game as he scrambles to his feet and runs toward the carriage house. “Me, Aunt Ori! Me!”
“There goes my tag partner,” I lament, as I push myself to a sitting position and begin pulling leaves from my hair and coat. “I’m a mess, aren’t I?”
Eddie squats beside me, pulling another leaf from my hair before leaning in, his lips warm against mine. “You’re a beautiful mess.”
“Don’t know about all that,” I murmur. “But thanks for saying so.”
Eddie helps me to my feet, gathering me close. Not that I mind. Inside his embrace is my favorite place in the world. He pushes a few errant strands from my face, his touch always so gentle. So warm.
But I see it in his face. He’s got a question, and I’m entirely unsure I want to know what it is.
Still…
“What?”
He shakes his head, a hint of a smile on his face. “Maybe I’m getting too personal by asking this, but I’ve always wondered why you didn’t have kids. You’re amazing with Theo and you seem to adore him.”
“I do.”
“So… is it not something you wanted or… is there another reason you don’t have kids?”
My brain races in six different directions at once. What’s the right answer here? Do I tell Eddie the truth, or go with what he wants to hear?
Not that I have any clue what that is. At least not when it comes to kids. He’s younger than me, and he already has Theo, so maybe he’s done.
Or maybe that’s exactly why he’s asking—because he’s not.
Shit, what is the right answer?
“Kiki?”
I blink up at him, realizing I’ve been silent for God knows how long.
“Sorry.” Eddie winces, palms out. “I didn’t mean to overstep. It’s just something I was curious about.”
Okay, it’s a request for information. That I can handle.
I run my hands over my arms, buying myself a bit of space along with warding off the impending chill.
“I always wanted kids, but I wanted to wait until I was in my thirties. Settled, you know. Drake kept stalling. Never seemed to be the right time for him. Looking back, I realize he didn’t want any, but he was willing to consider the possibility for my sake, which is the most awful reason to have a baby. ”
“Agreed.”
“Plus, I’m forty now, as you know, so that makes it all a bit trickier.”
Eddie clicks his tongue softly against his teeth, but stays silent, which is not helping my nerves.
Fuck it, Kiki. Just tell him your plan. What’s the worst that could happen?
“Can I be really honest with you? But you have to promise not to get mad.”
His eyes widen. “Why would I get mad?”
I shrug, twisting my hands together, the nerves coiling like snakes in my belly. “It’s silly, really, because why would you get mad? It’s not like I’m asking you, or anything…”
He grabs my arms and pivots me to him. “Not asking me what?”
Shit, here goes nothing.
I huff out a breath. “I made myself a promise when Drake was arrested and my life turned upside down. I told myself that once the trial is over and my life belongs to me again, that I’ll look into having a baby. Try on single motherhood for size.”
He stills, his expression giving nothing away.
Totally not helping my cause.
Time to reverse, and fast.
“It’s probably a stupid idea. Hell, I can’t afford my cabin repairs. How would I afford a baby, right? Anyway—”
“Hey, breathe.” He intertwines our fingers, giving my hands a gentle squeeze. “Honestly? I think you’d be amazing, and I can’t say that about a lot of people.”
Now why do his words bring tears to my eyes? Maybe it’s the realization that I’m still worthy of having dreams. “Thank you.”
He presses a soft kiss to my temple. “You know—”
“Hello? Are you two coming in or not? Because I’m not above eating your share of the chocolate cake.” Ori stands in the doorway, hands on her hips, tiny and fierce as always.
Eddie slips an arm around my shoulder, guiding me toward the warmth of the carriage house. “To be continued.”
He doesn’t elaborate, although I ponder his words the remainder of the night. He thinks I’d be an excellent mother, but he never offered to play any role in my future plans.
Still, he wasn’t angry. If anything, he understood my stance and knowing Eddie, he’d want my happiness above all things.
Could I really still have a chance at love, a family, some kind of wonderful life after everything that’s happened?
Hope rises so fast it almost hurts. But hope is a dangerous thing. I know that better than most.
Life has a way of sneaking up on you when you think everything is okay.
I told Ash things had been quiet where Drake was concerned.
No new articles. No fresh gossip. No sudden update about the trial or the man I once called my husband.
But quiet doesn’t mean over, and all it takes is another ‘scoop’ on the case of the century to destroy the small pocket of peace I’ve carved for myself.
What will win in the end? Hope and a new life, or fear burning everything I love to the ground?