40. Nick #2
“Fuck, you’re tight,” I groan, adding more lube. My dick throbs eagerly as I slowly work her open, but I can’t imagine how it will fit. She glances back over her shoulder with a sly grin, as if reading my mind.
“It will fit, don’t worry.”
I arch a brow. “Have you done this before?”
Hesitation flickers in her gaze. “Yes,” she admits. “But not like this.” I frown, wondering what that means, and she softens, clarifying, “Not with someone I love. And never bare.”
My chest constricts. I lean forward to capture her lips, grazing my tongue over hers. Needing her to know what this means to me. What she means to me.
She trembles as I deepen my finger, adding a second. “I can’t wait anymore, Nick. I need you inside me.” When I draw away, her lips are swollen, her gaze pleading. “I need the man I love inside me.”
Fuck .
I swallow hard, nodding. My hands shake as I squirt lube into my palm to coat my length. She watches with heavy-lidded eyes, then guides me into place. My pulse accelerates when my head brushes her tight entrance, when she inhales a deep breath as I slowly enter her.
“Holy shit, Zinnia.” Pleasure blazes through me as she grips my shaft, and I still my hips, not even all the way in. “You’re so fucking tight, honey.”
She issues a husky, throaty laugh, flexing around my dick as she does.
Christ.
“No more laughing,” I warn with a low growl, fingers digging into her hips. “Or this will all be over right now.” Clenching my jaw, I slowly ease myself inside her until I’m buried to the hilt. Then I stop, giving myself time to adjust to the overwhelming sensation.
Zinnia glances back at me over her shoulder. “You okay?” she asks softly, and it’s my turn to release a shuddering laugh.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
A sinful smile curves along her lips. “I’m more than okay.”
I brush her bangs back from her forehead, dropping a kiss there. “Thank you for giving yourself to me, honey.”
Her eyes soften with emotion. “I’m yours, Nick. And you’re mine.”
Oh, fuck. My heart.
“I’m yours, sweetheart.” My voice is a broken shred as I wrap my arms around her. She’s so perfect like this, tucked in against me, her curves warm and soft under my hands. I hold her close as I rock into her, my limbs shaking from the pleasure. From knowing every part of her is for me.
“Fuck,” she whispers, eyes falling closed. “Yes.”
It’s harder to reach her clit like this, so I focus on her breasts, cradling their soft fullness in my palms, rolling her nipples between my fingers.
“Touch yourself, honey. Make yourself feel good for me.”
“I already feel good,” she rasps, but her hand snakes between her legs anyway.
She whimpers as I stroke into her, every thrust bringing me closer to the edge. I never imagined that being with Zinnia could somehow get better, but this is more than I can handle. The heat of her skin against mine, her soft, breathless moans, the tight clench of her milking my cock—it’s too much.
“You feel too good, honey,” I grit, trying not to explode. “Too fucking good.”
“I love you,” she sobs, taking every roll of my hips. “So much.”
“Me too,” I say hoarsely, throat burning.
“You’re everything I could want, Zinnia.
Everything.” I hold her close, my thrusts growing more urgent.
“All these years I thought I was living, but I wasn’t.
” Emotion spills from my eyes, but I don’t stop.
“You showed me what it’s like to feel, to be alive, and I can’t imagine living without that now. Without you .”
“Nick.” Her voice comes out broken, and she reaches behind my head, pressing my face into her neck.
“I want a future with you,” I rasp into her hot skin.
Her eyes meet mine over her shoulder, glistening with emotion. “I want that too.”
I kiss her cheek, where a tear spills again, grazing my teeth over her ear, her neck. Then I bite down, leaving a mark that will last for weeks.
“Oh, God, Nick—”
A moan tears out of her. She stills, choking my cock as she comes, and heat surges through my balls. I can’t hold back anymore. The pleasure overwhelms me, and I hold her tight, hips jerking as I spill into her, giving her every part of me.
We lie like that for a long time, curled together on my bed, breathing hard. My heart thunders as I hold her close, thinking about what we both just confessed. That we love each other. We want a future together.
And I have to do what’s necessary to make that happen.
With a reluctant sigh, I peel myself away, sliding my glasses on before fetching a washcloth. I head to the kitchen to make us tea while she cleans herself up, needing a minute. Knowing that once I say what I’m about to say, I can’t take it back.
And knowing it’s exactly the right thing to do.
She pads into the kitchen a moment later, dressed in one of my T-shirts and a pair of leggings she keeps here. She’s been keeping a lot of things here lately, and it makes me happier than I could ever have imagined, seeing her make herself at home in my apartment.
“Thanks,” she says when I slide a steaming cup of tea across the counter to her. She hops onto a stool at the breakfast bar, gazing at me carefully. “Are you okay?”
It takes me a moment to realize why she’s asking.
She’s checking in after we did something vulnerable, after we shared words we’ve never shared.
I’m reminded of the first time we had sex, when I turned away from her, overcome by shame.
Of the times I wanted to pull away after letting my guard down.
Letting her see me. But I’m not that man anymore.
And it’s all thanks to her.
“Stay in the city,” I blurt, voice raw. “Please. You belong here. You belong with me, Zinnia.”
Her expression softens. “Nick,” she murmurs, but I’m not done.
“I’m going to tell the department chair about us.”
“Shit.” Her eyes widen. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I say firmly.
“I’m tired of sneaking around. I want to be with you in public.
I want the entire world to know we’re together.
” I take her hands, looking into those beautiful gold-rimmed eyes.
“And I want you to move in with me, honey. To make this permanent.”
Uncertainty flickers in her gaze. She opens her mouth to say something when her bag buzzes on the counter. Glancing at it with a frown, she pulls out her phone, her eyes darting apologetically to me. It’s not until she answers the call that I realize I’ve been holding my breath.
“Hello?”
I force myself to take a step back, trying to be patient, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want her to get off the phone. To tell me she wants everything I’ve just offered her.
“Oh, wow, really?” Her expression morphs with surprise, and she glances away as she listens, nodding. “For sure. Yes, okay.” Then she slides her phone back into her purse, a crease on her forehead as she brings her gaze back to mine. “Violet’s had her baby early.”
Oh. Shit.
“Is the baby okay?” I ask, and she nods.
“Yes. It’s only a few weeks early, thankfully.”
I breathe out. “That’s good.”
“Yeah.” She nods. “Everyone is at the hospital now.” She winces, lifting her gaze to mine. “I should… I should go.”
“Oh.” My heart sinks. She’s leaving, right now?
She opens and closes her mouth, hesitating, then rises from the stool. “I know this is awful timing. I just… I need a minute to think. Can we talk tomorrow?”
I straighten my glasses, nodding. “Of course.”
She quickly ducks back into the bedroom to change, and I hover in the kitchen, trying to process the sudden turn of events. The shift in the atmosphere that makes me uneasy.
A moment later, she returns, rising on her toes to kiss me goodbye. “I’ll come by tomorrow night after I close up the community arts center, okay?”
“Okay.”
With a regretful smile, she slips out the door. I watch her go, trying not to think about the way she hesitated when I asked her to move in. Trying not to replay the way everything changed when her phone rang.
Trying to tell myself we’ll figure this out.