Chapter 34 #2
When I get back to the living room, they’re trading stories about the All Star Break. Sutter stayed here, spending time with his sister who’s a senior at St. Olaf. Matty was here for a few days then went down to Des Moines to watch the AHL team and root for his former teammates.
Jamie asks about Finn, who he’d spent a good amount of time with during the preseason. Apparently he’s been tearing up the ice in Des Moines and should be headed our way in another year or two.
“Yo, Ethan, how far is it to Des Moines? Could we go down for a game sometime?”
I’m surprised that he’s one-upping my duffel bag move, but then I realize – it’s not an act, he just wants to go.
“It’s not a bad drive, but there are like four flights a day. We can definitely make that work.”
He smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back. If the road trip request didn’t catch Sutter and Matty’s attention, they definitely clock the soft look on my face.
The doorbell rings, and I head over to let Alexei in. He’s carrying several bags, and I don’t think anyone with a shorter wingspan could manage it. I take three of the bags and help him to the dining room.
“Ethan! You have dining room? Why didn’t you tell me!”
The boys are laughing at that.
“I didn’t want you to feel threatened. I know how much you like hosting us.”
He laughs, smacking me on the back. We dig into the food, grabbing kebabs and grain bowls.
He’s ordered at least five full orders of hummus, so we each grab one of those as well.
The food is delicious, full of bright flavors.
The conversation is warm, and I’m amazed to think I get to sit here with these guys, all of whom know I’m gay, and just… not think about it.
Mac is stationed at the end of the table, while next to me, Jamie is laughing as Matty tells a story about taking the boys out for drinks after the game. Without even thinking about it, I toss an arm across the back of his chair, letting a single finger trace his shoulder.
As Matty finishes the story, Sutter turns his eyes to me.
“We’re all friends here, right Cap?”
I raise an eyebrow at him.
“I hope so.”
He seems to consider this for a moment.
“Are you two…”
The sentence drifts off. I wonder if he’s afraid to speak it into existence, or worried about assuming that the two gay men he plays with must be together. I decide to fuck with him either way.
With a smirk, I respond, “Friends?”
Jamie picks where I leave off.
“Best friends!”
Alexei is having none of that.
“Is not true! I am Ethan’s best friend. You are only his boyfriend. No upgrades allowed.”
Jamie starts laughing so hard I worry he’ll fall off his chair, while Sutter and Matthews are stunned. Mac, meanwhile, is still quietly eating hummus at the end of the table. Looking at them, Alexei seems to realize his error.
“Sorry. That is, uh, not true? Definitely a joke?”
He cringes.
That’s enough for the rest of us to join in Jamie’s laughter.
Mac looks at Jamie.
“I guess you didn’t need me to talk to Cap after all?”
I’m not sure I understand what he’s getting at, but Jamie’s blush suggests he does.
“At the time? I probably did. But we worked things out pretty quickly after that.”
Matty is intrigued by this.
“So how long has this been going on?”
Sutter's forehead wrinkles in thought.
“I mean, definitely not during preseason. Right?”
Matty jumps in.
“But absolutely by New Year’s.”
Sutter looks like he wants to argue.
“But then what about February?”
The two stop arguing with each other and then turn at the same time, staring at us.
“I guess…November?” Jamie starts, although he has a good point – given the casual start of our relationship, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact date.
“And by Christmas, it was…serious.” He looks at me as I say this, a small smile curving the side of his mouth.
“Yeah, it was. Maybe, uh, too serious, given how little we’d talked about it.”
“Which is why it kind of fell apart for a bit.”
Deciding this is a safe place to take a risk, I reach over and grab hold of Jamie’s hand. Sutter’s eyes widen at this, but I notice Mac looks…concerned.
“What if it happens again?”
I wish I could pretend I don’t know what he’s asking, but I do. What if it falls apart again?
The fact is, it might. We’re still talking through things, making sure we’re on stable ground. And we’re still not telling everyone – when we do, that will bring its own problems. But right now, I know we’re fighting on the same side, and I hope we can keep that up.
“Well, hopefully we’ll have good friends to talk it over with and help us not bring it onto the ice.”
He nods thoughtfully.
“You planning on telling the team?”
I can tell he doesn’t want to seem discouraging, but the fear is in his voice.
“Not now. Not…yet.”
I’m thrilled to hear Jamie tack on that yet.
So far, he’s been pretty averse to telling the team, and I know a lot of it has been worry over their reaction.
I’m hoping that today – the combination of players already having a problem with me and then these friends supporting us – will help him see.
I don’t need the approval of people whose opinions mean so little to me.
“We’ve gotta focus on the playoffs. And the team. And building…building something between us that can last.”
There, around a dining room table I’ve never used, filled with friends I didn’t know I had, I realize that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Building something to last.