Chapter Twenty-Five
Her sobs were ragged, but it was the screams that broke me. We crumpled to the floor as she screamed her pain, and all I could do was hold her and allow her to release it. She wouldn’t listen to me until she did. It wasn’t until I heard the door shut that I realized Rowan had left.
I grabbed her around her shoulders, and under her legs and I picked her up. I carried her to my bedroom and laid her on my bed. And then I did the only thing I could. I pulled the phone out of the lockbox and I dialed my father.
It was late, but I could only hope he would answer. I slid in behind my mother and I waited for the ringing to stop. I closed my eyes in defeat when the call went unanswered and his voice played in my ear.
“Hi, you have reached Alpha Gavin Maclean. I’m currently busy, but I will get back to you.” My mothers screamed again as she heard my father’s voice.
“He’s gone.” Her scream shook the sliding glass door. I hung up the phone and called back. “I told you he was gone, baby.” She grabbed a pillow and screamed into it again. I nearly cried out in relief when I heard the call connect.
“Hi.” He started, but I think my mom’s sobs stopped him mid sentence.
“Stop calling him. He won’t answer.” Her voice wobbled. “I just got him back and now he’s gone.” Her eyes popped open when I handed her the phone.
“My love?” My father’s calm voice came over the speaker and my mother froze.
“How?” she choked out. She looked at me and I saw the confusion and ache there. “Please tell me this is real.” Her voice was a whisper, and I could only nod. “Gav?”
“Hey baby. I’ve missed your voice,” He answered and I could see the shudder run through my mother’s body.
“You’re dead.” She pulled the phone away. “You’re dead.” I watched as she clicked the video call button and she waited. “Please don’t be dead.” She watched the call connect and my father’s face filled the screen. She dropped the phone and covered her eyes as she sobbed harder.
“Baby? Look at me.” My father’s voice was muffled, the phone laying on my mother’s chest as she sobbed into her hands. I picked up the phone and held it up. “Hi pup.”
“Hi daddy.” I snuggled next to my mom, holding the phone out to where she could see. “Momma. It was a lie. One that we couldn’t explain over just any phone or mind link because, you know, Vince and the others are watching.” I wrapped my arm around her as her sobs started to get quieter.
“Baby, we are all here. All safe. We moved to the Agora cabins, out of the way of prying eyes.” My dad had a slightly panicked look in his eyes. “I am so sorry, I wanted to warn you, to tell you. But we needed this reaction.”
My mother pulled her hands down. “This reaction?” Her voice still held her pain, her anger, but she was focusing on him now.
“Yes baby. Vince and Morgan aren’t stupid.
They know you were still holding love for me.
If you didn’t have this reaction to my death, then they would have known something was up.
” I could see the need on his face. “I wish I was there to hold you. To kiss you. To prove to you, I’m not dead. But I can’t.”
“But everyone is alive?” My mother’s voice was hopeful.
My dad nodded. “We all made it to the Agora. Including the five other packs we are helping. I sealed off the way to the cabin for Carl and Carly after making sure deliveries were set up from my account every week for supplies and building materials. We hope that all of this is handled before he completes the cabin.” His voice was soft.
“I have told no one where the cabin is actually located, so they should be safe and sound there.” My dad glanced at me.
“Carly said that when it was time, Amy would find them.”
I just nodded, and I leaned in and kissed my mom’s temple.
“You two have a lot to cover. I will leave you here to discuss it all.” I popped up.
“I’m exhausted. I have to meet up with everyone early in the morning and I know this is going to take a long time to go through.
So I am going to go to sleep on my couch.
” I smiled and grabbed a blanket and pillow.
I went and dropped it on the couch and then went back to my room to grab clothes to shower and change.
“I can’t believe you are still alive. I love you so much, Gav.” My mom’s words faded as I closed the bathroom door.
I woke with a jolt. My mother was standing over me with slightly swollen eyes. “Baby?” I wiped my eyes.
“Mom, is everything okay?” I grabbed for my phone on the table. It was six in the morning and I wanted to cry. I finally crawled under the covers at almost midnight, and I loved sleep.
“It’s morning. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I’m heading out.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes again.
“Are you sure?” I grabbed for her and pulled her down by my legs. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay, baby.” She leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I shouldn’t have come here.” She ran her hands down my hair.
“Of course you can come here, mom. Any place I am you can come. Anytime.” I reached for her other hand. “I will never be too old to not need my mother.” I smiled at her.
But she shook her head. “No, baby.” She closed her eyes and looked over my shoulder. She was thinking about something. “I was selfish.”
“What do you mean?” I felt her hands convulse in mine.
“If, goddess forbid, your father was actually lost…” She shook her head.
“I never should have come here to cry to you. You would have just lost your father and here I am coming to make the pain so much worse by layering my pain on top of yours. I was selfish last night. Thankfully, your father is still here, and you knew it. But I need to do better.” I watched as her eyes hardened.
“I will get back to who I was when your father loved me.”
“He still loves you.” I whispered, and the smile that broke across her face was amazing.
“I know.” She nodded. “I know he loves me. But I’m not the same woman he fell for.”
“You made yourself small.” I leaned into her hand as she cupped my cheek.
“I did.” She agreed.
“Why?” I always wanted to know.
“Because.” She huffed out a breath. “The men in Vince’s pack expect weak or stupid women.
They need the women who fall in line and don’t question their decisions or else they feel small and lash out.
” Her eyes found mine. “I made myself small so that you would learn to make yourself small.” I felt a tear hit our entwined hands.
“And I’m sorry for it. I never wanted you to make yourself small, but to survive in this pack, we needed to.
” I felt her squeeze my hand and I nodded.
“Yeah.” I thought back to my first life, and she was right. The men in Vince’s pack expect dumb or weak women, including their Luna.
“I feel like you made yourself small in your first life. Small enough that even Shannon felt big enough to walk all over you. And I am so sorry for that.”
“Don’t be.” I shifted and leaned my head against her shoulder.
“Without my first life, I would never have made it this far in this life. Without being small, I wouldn’t have realized just how big I could be, how strong I could be, how powerful I could be.
” I drew in a deep breath. “Without being with Brandon and losing my child, my life, my everything, I would have never realized what kind of man I want in my life.” My mind flashed to Rowan, and I felt my heart break a little.
“And I wouldn’t have realized what I was willing and not willing to accept from my mate.
I needed to learn everything Brandon and my baby offered so that this time around, I could have my Lycan, my wolf, and my power.
This time around, I could be as strong as I am without any of the excuses or the expectations to make myself smaller.
” I nudged her. “I need to find the courage to be who the goddess needs me to be. So I don’t regret it.
You taught me what I needed to learn, when I needed to learn it. ”
Another tear hit my hands. “Promise?” Her voice was small, and I knew she was feeling guilty.
“Of course.” I heard her sniffle, and then she laughed as she shook her head. “What?” I lifted my head and stared at her.
“Once again, you are acting more like my mother instead of my child.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m failing you.”
“No. Not at all.” I kissed her cheek. “You are showing me it is okay to need comfort and support, no matter your age. That being older doesn’t mean being emotionless.”
My mother shook her head and kissed me. “I’m going to go.”
“Are you going to keep up the act?” I didn’t want to ask her, but I needed to.
“Yeah, plus this gives me yet another reason to hate Morgan.” I snorted, and she smiled. “Bye baby.” She got up and walked out my door.