Chapter Seven
Iopened the letter in my hands, and a wave of raw pain hit me in the chest. Carl’s neat handwriting met me.
Amy,
I know right this minute I am laying on the cold earth after doing everything to save my little girl. I know you just spent an hour taking care of her, and for that, I am eternally grateful. But if you allow her to stay awake, she will hurt herself. I’ve seen it. So I beg you to put her to sleep.
Use your magic, and put her to sleep every night for the next few months.
She is a child, but she is my child, and I know her.
She is an old soul in a tiny body and she sees more than you think she does.
But she doesn’t see the entire picture yet, and if you allow her to, she will put herself in danger. And with it, the world.
I looked up from the letter to see Toya standing close. “What’s wrong?” She came closer.
“He wants me to put her to sleep. For the next few months.”
Toya took the letter and read it. “He’s seen it.” She handed me back the letter. “I can’t blame the child. She’s grieving. When I thought my parents were lost, I was going to do something reckless. But you saved me.”
I stared at her. “You never told me.”
She raised her shoulder. “I hadn’t actually gotten that far into my plan.
Just that I didn’t want to stay here if I lost everyone and everything like she has.
” She played with her family ring on her finger.
“But my loss wasn’t real, hers is. Even if she doesn’t understand fully in her mind, she knows she lost her father…
her everything.” Toya nodded towards the letter.
“Listen to him. Put her to sleep.” I nodded and turned back to the letter.
I hate to ask this of you, knowing you are already doing so much for me, raising my daughter.
But can you bury me here near the cabin?
So that Carly can visit me and know that I am still here with her.
That I will hear her prayers, and walk next to her on her hard days.
I know in my heart she will know, and you will help her remember me, but I need this. For my soul to be at peace.
I picked a nice spot behind the cabin. On the edge of the woods, under the big oak. We spent many days there, having picnics, watching the sunset over the cabin. She said it was her favourite place here, and I want to be a part of that still.
I built rooms for your friends; I know they will help while you have your position in your pack. Take the position Vince is offering you. I won’t speak about that anymore than I already have. But you need to take the position. The commute will be easier than you think.
I furrowed my brow at that. How is that even possible?
Check that stone of yours. You will figure it out.
The man was as cryptic as my grandmother.
Lastly, a few things. Carly has a box of letters in her room, and there is another in here for her.
I wrote them for her big milestones, so she knows I’m with her.
Tell her about me. About her mom. I left videos, and more letters to you about us.
You can show her when she is older if you like.
I want her to know where she came from. The love we had when we made her.
I want her to know how much I loved her mother, how her coming into my life swept me off my feet.
Our love was a flash in the pan, compared to my life, but it was bright and deep.
Meeting her mother was the second brightest moment in my long life, but Carly has always been the first.
Having her in my arms, even as I lost the love of my life, was still the brightest spot in a life that was filled with darkness. I have lived a long life, longer than most even know, and until I met these two women, I had never known warmth. She deserves to know about it.
Her wolf will be different from any you have seen before, but I think you and yours will understand being different.
Don’t let her feel self conscious about her wolf, she might, and I don’t want her to feel out of place.
She has her own path to walk, but she needs you to walk it with her until she’s capable of walking it alone.
Most importantly, I need you to make me a promise. Love her. Love her as if she came from you. Love her as I love her, even when you get your mate, even when you have your own pups, love her…for me.
Meeting you was the third bright spot, Amy, because I knew I could trust my baby in your hands.
Thank you.
Carl
I had to cover my mouth before any sobs broke free. I couldn’t break down yet. Not yet. I looked to the ceiling, praying for a bit more time. I had things I needed to do. I put the letter on the desk and took a deep breath. I looked at Toya. “Have everyone pick bedrooms.”
“What are you going to do?”
I stared down at my dirty dress; I turned to the closest. I probably wasn’t going to find much to wear, but I was going to need something else to do what I had to. I opened the closet and stumbled back a step. There was a sticky note on a shelf and I pulled it off.
This room was always yours. I was just using it.
The closest was filled with women’s clothes. I grabbed a black sweat suit and pulled off my dress. Toya came over, confusion on her face. “What is all this?”
I had to bite back a sob. “He filled it for me.” There were two laundry baskets pushed into the corner.
One clean, and one obviously dirty. “He lived out of baskets.” I walked over and grabbed a shirt, pulling it to my nose.
Carl’s scent hit me in the face. Perfect.
“I would check the rooms. If there aren’t any clothes, you guys can grab from here.
But I have a feeling Carl had planned for everything.
” Then I headed out the door to Carly’s room.
Her sobs were still loud, and when I knocked, she barely acknowledged me. I slipped in and walked to her bed. “Go away.” Her tiny voice was broken, and I felt my heart clench.
“I will, but I thought maybe you would want this.” I sat on her bed as she turned to me. Her face was swollen and red from her tears, but I ignored the anger I saw there. I was interrupting her grief. But I pulled one of her cuddling pillows and I slipped Carl’s shirt over it, handing it to her.
She was too young for her wolf to be awake yet, but even now, she had a heightened sense of smell. I waited until I saw recognition hit her face. Her eyes snapped to mine. “This is…”
“Your daddy’s. Smell it.” I nodded.
She sniffed back her snot, and I forced away a smile.
I can still remember my mom yelling at me to blow my nose instead of doing that.
But I waited until she brought the shirt to her nose and smelled her father’s scent.
She closed her eyes and more tears fell.
“Daddy.” She curled around the pillow, taking in his scent, as I stood.
I reached for my power, and it sprang eagerly to my fingertips. “Ni sur vor clin slet.” I whispered the words, and I waited until she fell into a deep sleep, still cuddled around the shirt. I watched her for a moment, making sure the magic took, then I slipped out of her room and down the stairs.
“Amy.” Wendy came over to me, worry etched on her face. “Are you okay?”
I just nodded. “I’m fine.” I looked around the room. Wendy was alone. “Where is everyone?”
“Gone to get dressed.” Wendy looked down at her robe. “I wanted to wait for you.”
Worry gripped my stomach. “What’s wrong?”
Wendy grabbed my hand. “Nothing. I was just worried about you.” My stomach unclenched. “I know Toya talked to you already. But I wanted to make sure you know I will help you any way I can.” I smiled.
“Thank you.” I blew out a breath. “Go get dressed.”
“Where are you going?” She looked at me this time. “You haven’t showered yet?” I just shook my head. “Why not?”
“I still have something to do.” I nudged her with my hip as I walked past.
“Let me help you.” She tried to follow, but I shook my head. This was something I had to do alone.
“It’s okay. Stay here and listen for Carly.” I smiled over my shoulder as I walked out of the door. I walked around the house and started towards the big oak tree that had a shovel leaning against it. I had to close my eyes as I made it to the tree. He knew.
He knew that tonight was the night he was going to die, and he had prepared everything. The shovel. Giving Carly his phone, the fucking prick made sure everything was in place for me to come here and take his place.
I looked up to the full moon staring down at me and I did the only thing I had been wanting to do since I stumbled out of these trees.
I screamed.
I screamed out my anger, my pain, my heart broke. Tears trailed down my face as I screamed up at the moon. “Why would you do this to us? To her?” But the moon held no answer. She sat quietly in the sky, staring down at me, as I snatched the shovel and dug into the dirt at my feet.